How often do you sit on your testicles?
 

I probably average about one a week. Accidently, mind you.

more importantly, Donger... how often do you wash them?

When my wife tells me to.

My friend occasionally regales me with tales of him accidentally sitting on his testicles and how much it hurts when he does so.

I say to him, "WHY do you feel the need to tell me this?"

He apparently dispenses this information to everyone. His parents, his sister, his other friends...

What a freak.

That's what I'm sayin'.

Im kinda surprised that you have a wife. Y'know, with your personality and your hygiene...

Why'm I envisioning Joy Peters?

My personality? What do you mean?

I usually just set up a couple of pillows in my testicles and just crash and take naps for hours at a time. Occassionally I have to fluff them up a bit. I'll let you decide whether that last part was about pillows or not.

You put pillows in your testicles?

Once a week I catch myself with the kind that brings a tear to the eye.
I was explaining to my fiance about the whole sitting on the balls thing. She didn't believe me until one evening, I went to sit down and asked her to pick up the package. She reached over with a thumb and finger, so I had to explain that you have to reach way down there and get a handful to clear them from harm's way. Upon feeling just how far balls can hang sometimes, she yells " That's nuts!"

I said "Exactly."

Yeah... My testicles are more comfortable to crash in if there is some extra padding.

I've sat on my nuts before and let me tell you it's no picnic

every time i sit on my purse