a question for those divorced with kids...
 

My bro in law was in an aweful 5 year marriage. They had 2 stillborna babies and then finally two beautiful kiddos. The Boy is 5 Today and the little girl is 3 After a very rocky 5 years, they split up for good after being off and on for most of that 5 years.

He joined the Army and is on his way to Iraq in the next few weeks. He is stationed in Washington State and ex lives in Kansas.

He came back on the 22nd of December and stayed till the 3rd of Jan.

X has been pretty relaxed on letting him see the kids when ever he is on leave (as she should because she pretty much gets half of what ever he earns including bonus)

She also lets us see the kiddos when ever we want. We usually get them one weekend a month as we live 2 hours away.

My QUESTION is...

would any x keep you from seeing your kids?

He made no attempt to see his kids at all during the time he was here because "he didn't want to deal with her bullshit" SO...he did not see them for Christmas nor did he spend any time with his son before his birthday

WTF???

You would have to hunt me down and kill me to keep me from seeing my kids. My kids are #1 in my life. All else is a distant 2nd.

Yes. My ex husband did. It was the only thing left in the world he could control me with. I was almost a widow.

that is the way I am as well.

I am really ashamed of him that he made no attempt to see his kids. It is like since he joined the army, he has forgotten the last 7 years and forgotten that he has kids.

He got together with all his buddies but not once saw his kids.


GRRRRRRRRR I am so mad.

I practically raised the son when he was 6 months old till he was 3 as the bro in law lived with us and had him 90 % of the time.

I love that boy like he was my own, and if given the choice, that boy would gladly live with me.

I had to get a lawyer to get my ex to give me regular visitation. She fought me the entire way.

there is always two sides to every story.

I know both sides...

they lived with us for most of that 5 years...



he just didn't want to talk to her or deal with her

his direct quote

What the wise man said.


Someone in my family is going through something on this topic and routinely eats shit sandwiches and bends over backwards to see his kids....as he should....and I guarantee this broad is twice the filthy pirate hooker of your ex sil.

thanks...

I really don't think she would have made too big a deal over it as she has moved on with a steady eddie the last year.

I think he just didn't want to have responsibility, cause most of the time he was back, he was partying with the guys.



I will just have to be super aunt and love them as much as I can

Of course. Half the family lawyers wouldn't be in practice if it was just about splitting up divorce property. People who want to fight about kids can do it for the whole 18 (and sometimes 21) years.

I understand that, but she has never denied him time with his kids


she wanted him to spend time with them..


she is a hag, but she loves her kids and wants them to know their daddy


this one is all on him

That's great for now. But if he comes back, sometimes people start changing their minds. This usually happens when one partner gets remarried, butit can also happen in this situation if mom decides things aren't as convenient as she thought they would be or doesn't like the way the kid is being influenced.

Sorry if that's a downer, hopefully things will stay great. Lots of people do manage to make it work and realize it should be about the kid and not about who can win a fight.

Based on Post 9, it sounds to me like he didn't want to see the kids. That's unfortunate.



I've never been divorced, but I have a cousin who's been in one of those 20-year custody battles that banyon described. The parents have undoubtedly screwed those kids up beyond belief as well as spending all of their inheritance on lawyers. It's really pretty tragic that they can't move on and can't see the example they're setting. I bet those kids never get married.

I think you are right...he just didn't want to be bothered.

and that breaks my heart. He has two great kids and they are a lot of fun!

Your wife doesn't come first?