Selling a house
 

Is ****ing maddening. It's nothing but a goddamn string of useless ****ing people with their hands out wanting money.

Seller's agent: Try to get you to underprice your home for a quick, easy sale. Not good at keeping you informed.

Buyers agent: Sit around and wait for a buyer to find something they like online, and go unlock a ****ing door for them.

Home inspectors: Biggest ****ing sham ever. OH WE PROTECT THE BUYER. Yeah just the dumbass lazy buyers who aren't capable of walking around a house and spotting obvious defects on their own. Mostly a way to extort more money from the seller after a deal has been made.

And the closing costs...title fee escrow fee tax stamp blah blah blah what in the earthly **** is all this shit?

$205,000 house....$25,000 just GONE off the top.

Hopefully I'll die in the next house we buy so I don't ever have to go through this shit again.

Buying one isn't better.

Did you make a loss selling it?

That's what we'll be doing next. :cuss:

Other than the $25k to bullshit? No. We lived in it for 20 years.

Shit, forgot to rant about the ridiculous disclosure.

How many ceiling fans are in the house? Seriously? I have to answer that? We're to the point where we can't even expect a buyer to walk through a house and count the number of ****ing ceiling fans on their own?

FSBO is surprisingly easy. Just watch out for getting blacklisted by some agents because they fear they'll lose out on a full commission.

Commissions are too damned high for what little they do. Their primary goal is to get you to spend as much money as possible to make the house perfect for them. Then you pay them for the privilege.

Damn!! It’s a good thing they didn’t walk on your lawn going into the house

I’ll be selling my house in about 10-12 years. I’ll never buy another one after that. Just rent. It’s a never ending cash cow. 2015 saw a new furnace, new central AC, new roof and new hot water heater. Next is windows and the driveway. It never ****ing ends

We are going to be listing in May or June and I was thinking of going FSBO. Trying to figure out everything that I need to do if I go that route (or not do).

$205,000 house and your fees were over 12% of the value of the home? You got ****ed right in the ass.

Buy a better house. Or piss your money away on rent. Your call.

my wife and I bought a house in October.
We started looking in April.
Looked at 90 houses
Offered on 8 houses
2 Accepted but walked from both due to inspection (major issues).
Finally got the one we're in and closed in late October.


it was, by far, one of the worst experiences of our lives. we would catch a house that came on the market and view it that day by 5pm; and when we'd show up, there would literally be cars lined up down the street to view it with agents. and once inside, you'd view it with probably 6 other people minimum. Then, if you did offer, there were already 8 offers submitted.

We offered on once house 5% over asking, and it eneded up selling/closing for 23% OVER asking price. and our offer was in the rough alingnment with what other homes were selling at / appraisal ballpark.

awful experience. If I never have to move/sell/buy again, it'll be too soon.

I got mad at "the seller pays the closing costs for the buyer"

Really???? This happened a lot during the housing bust. But now????
Houses here are going site unseen. If the demand is so high, why do I need an incentive for someone else to buy my home?

Yeah lol piss my money on rent. My house is paid off. I pay over $12,000 a year in property taxes where I live. The plan is to sell and move to another state with a lower cost of living. And not own another house.

Yep, I got stung for $5000 on that. Apparently "that's just how it works" now. The goddamn realtor commission already comes out of my proceeds, now that too? I suppose as long as I get that when I buy the next place it's a big whatever, but I don't understand why it costs that much to close on a house. It's a ****ing racket.

You should have sold it yourself. I have sold several houses for myself and helped my family sell theirs, and it's not very difficult. I may start with by getting an appraisal about $350, if I don't think there are enough comparisons online. I then listed the house on craigslist, facebook and zillow. I completed the required state disclosure and printed copies along with a "flyer" on the house and make them available at a scheduled open house with signs at the main street and arteries leading to the house. These costs about $50. If your house is priced correctly you will have lots of activity. I made it clear to realtors that I would pay 2.5% if they sold the house. However, if folks would come and ask if they needed a realtor, I would say it was up to them, but I would negotiate a better deal without a realtor because I wouldn't be paying any fees. I would also give them a print off listing what they would need to do if they weren't using a realtor... which is not much. Most of it is done by the mortgage company. I also offer a home warranty for 12 months that covers all major mechanicals and appliances. This is approx. $450. It has worked great. The biggest reason is you don't pay 7% fees to realtors. You negotiate the sale prices by 2-3% if necessary. This actually makes the end appraisal by the lender more likely to cover the purchase price and make it easier for the down payment by the buyer. There are plenty of free forms, or cheap forms for the offer to purchase, and contracts to purchase. It is not nearly as daunting as folks think. On a $200,000 you can easily save $10000-$15000k.

Ok, I miscalculated, only $21.5k

11,500 realtor commission
5,000 buyer closing costs
2,000 bullshit from the home inspection that I'm not allowed to fix myself
2,000 seller closing costs
1,000 prorated property taxes

I'll still agree with "****ed in the ass" though.

I considered it but the Mrs was dead set against it. Well the place ended up selling in 4 days and I could have saved some money if my realtor would have been better at informing me about certain things. I feel like I did pretty much sell it on my own.

Just paid 27k in closing, laughable or cryable or both.

I bought my place without any agent of any sort. All the shit is available online and it cost me $25 to file the deed.

I did the same with a cash purchase, and if you are selling, the mortgage company does this for the buyer, if they aren't paying cash.

This experience sure as hell makes renting sound like an attractive option. After the fees and other bullshit, plus paying off our 25k HELOC for renovations, we're walking away with a whopping 40k more than we paid for it 20 goddamn years ago.

The only way I would sell the house and pay buyers closing cost, which must include origination in your calculations, is if it was priced into the total purchase price. Basically you were giving the buyer an extra $5000 discount. If you sold it in 4 days, this was most likely not necessary as you seem to acknowledge. Next time, if there is one, you will save some money!

That's the thing, the midwest is the cheapest market there is for housing. I can't imagine the ass raping people get in other markets. Yeesh.

I’m almost certain that the Jesuits ha e something to do with this.

And there's the problem right there. This is the first time I ever sold a house, I have 0 experience with it. So I counted on the realtor to properly advise me throughout the process. When it was all said and done, I realized all she cared about was getting the sale done quickly. Yeah, it was a learning experience, but learning after the fact with this much money at stake doesn't do me a damn bit of good.

That is just crazy, similar to what we had in Illinois.

When we were ready to retire from there and sell our home, I put it out in the listing that I would pay a $2000 bonus, if sold in the first 30 days. MLS said that was against their rules, but the word was already out. :D

I was thrilled to pay it when it happened, and felt like I was being released from prison.

ROFL

My friend lives in Ohio, he grew up here and moved there in the early 90’s. He started flipping houses to rent out about 10 years ago. He bought some of them for as little as $25,000 outright. He then refurbishes the entire house. He has 6 houses rented out at at least $1,200.00 per month. Currently working on house number 7. He has a full time job and does this on the weekends. After he finishes house number 7 he can retire lol. He pays $600 a year in property taxes per house.

Wait until the buyer sues you & their home inspector because of the front door sticking & cracks appearing a year after you sold the house.

Yeah and now my douchebag governor wants a “rain tax” lol to fix all our roads. In hindsight I can sell and move to PA and still work here. But then I have the exit tax shit. My asshole feels like the Grand Canyon

Holy shit, we had that to. I was so pissed off about it that it wasn't healthy.
It just amazes me how many ways they figure out how to tax a person.

Do you have to annually purchase a sticker on your car to have the privilege to park in your own driveway? That is so common in Illinois that the citizens think it is normal and they are used to it.

Nah, this place is 55 years old and there are no signs that is has shifted a bit in that time. Not one single crack in the basement and garage floor or anywhere on the foundation. No stress fractures in the drywall. It's rock solid. Whoever is buying it is hitting the jackpot.

Exit tax is 4% here :cuss: and No I can park in my driveway in peace lol


We have what’s called inspection stickers on our cars. It has an electronic bar code on it that a cop can scan driving by. It used to be every year, but now it’s every other year. They check everything and if you fail you have 30 days to make the necessary repairs.

Jesus ****. Where do you live?

**** that noise. Reject it and counter.

Is the stuff you have to fix because it is a government loan?

These are both things you are allowed to negotiate. Sounds like you had an awful realtor. If you had originally agreed to pay 5k in closing costs (some buyers will ask for this instead of lowering the price on the house) I would have told them hell no on the additional 2k of repairs.

We just bought a house, asked for 7k off the asking price and found issues during the inspection. I could fix a lot of them myself we asked for another 1000 to fix some stuff found in the inspection, agreed on 500 back at closing.

Too late for that.

No, just stupid shit, a lot of it I was aware of but hadn't had the time to repair yet. I figured whatever they found I could just fix by closing. What my realtor failed to tell me was that they would require all repairs be done by a qualified contractor. Some of the items were things that were clearly visible when the offer was made and a few others were plain absurd. I was ready to go to war over it at first, but then decided the 2k wasn't worth our sanity and I've been working on the place for 5 months straight anyway and I'm sick of it and I still have a metric shit ton of work to do to get us out of here by March 1st so I'll eat it to get the deal done.

This is exactly the case. Its all based on negotiations.

I honestly don't know if there's such a thing as a good one. The first one we talked to wanted me to ask around 183k, she got laughed out of the door. And the one we used when we bought the place failed me in several ways as well. I don't believe any of them have the client's best interests in mind.

4 percent is robbery, ****ing thieves.

Oh we had inspection stickers as well, and I had no problem with that as it helped to keep clunkers off the roads, but this sticker was just another tax. No explanation or benefit to it, other than a way for each village to extort more money from you.

IIRC it was $25 per vehicle per year. Not a lot of money, but the fact that they could write you a ticket for not having one parked in your own driveway pissed me off. The Mrs. paid that crap each year even though I didn't agree

JoCo Ks.
if a house was anywhere near being considered move in ready, they were sold the day they went on the market.

It was definitely a balancing act on my part. I wasn’t hip in paying a ton then having to drop probably 20k on fixing shit and countless weekends working on it...then hopefully get money back when I sold it. Not to mention, I have zero tools so any project is already a money suck because I’d have to buy tools etc.

So there were plenty of houses out there, but they needed quite a bit of work. I decided it was worth it to just be patient and when I found the house, go after it. Luckily I found a complete down to the stud remodel. New wiring, new ac, furnace, new appliances, floors, doors, etc. I sacrificed a little on location, backs up to a busy street. But got a 3 br, 2 full bath 2 car ranch with main floor laundry. Which is what I wanted when we started alll this shit last April.

With this house, all I have to do is maintain it, and not have to deal with any major projects. Which is nice, since I have virtually zero interest in owning a home to begin with. Lol. But, with rent in this area, it’s basically a little cheaper to buy.

how many ceiling fans are in the house?
sec

We're looking at moving to Cheyenne, and it's about the same way there. If we see something we really like we almost have to put in an offer without looking at it, which I am not comfortable with for obvious reasons. We're going out there this weekend to look at a few but I have no idea if they'll still be available by then. It's certainly not making this process any easier.

Last year I

1. Sold a house, paid all the fees
2. Bought Land, more closing costs, survey costs, appraisals
3. Financed a construction loan, more fees plus the monthly interest payment (not applied to principal at all)


This year

1. I close on the new house. More closing fees, appraisal costs and surveys


I am glad this is my last house. I could have taken 2 really nice trips in fees and interest I have paid since August

Can someone please post a link to a reliable “For Sell By Owner” site?

Houses where I live sell very easy, I just need to polish up on the legal side.

I don’t know what we would’ve saved selling ours by ourself. I was going to list ours for $90k. Realtor said it was way too low and listed it for $110k. We sold in three weeks for $105k. We did pay the closing costs but didn’t have much to repair as I maintained the house pretty well.

The house we bought. Seller refused to fix anything but we really wanted the house. One of the best neighborhoods in town. She paid out of her pocket to have one of the more expensive repairs done.

LMAO

The local realtor here will do the contract for a flat rate. I want to say $1500 or something. Don't quote me on that.

They have some liability there, but that's as fair as anything. I'd guess if you had a lawyer do it would be just as much.

D2112, you're in NY, right? **** that noise.

New Jersey. NY is way worse than that tax wise.

Holy balls

I've been in my house for 20+ years, and I've estimated what it would cost to sell it. I think my plan is to die here just to avoid the closing costs.

And make sure you have 20% to put down when you buy, because after the bank tells you they'll give you far more than you want or can actually afford on a house, they need to cover their own ass with PMI.

My hometown in MO had a "city sticker" when I was a kid. I think it was $5 back in the late 1960s. I don't recall when it went away, but it was gone by 1980.

I'm in this boat. Have the house paid for. I looked at maybe moving to an acreage out of town about 10 years ago. Between the fixing and the moving and all the rest I decided I can just live here.

Sounds like your agent didn't do their job.
How many ceiling fans? How many ceiling fans have light kits? How many windows? Are all the windows the same? Have you ever added onto the house? If so what years and who did the construction work?

Really the only thing you need to do is advertise your property. That may consist of a sign in the yard to a local newspaper listing. When you have a buyer just have them go through their bank. the bank and mortgage company will handle all the forms needed.

I've sold around 15 properties over the years on my own. And currently own 19.

Also I think throwing in a home warranty is a great idea although I've never done that.

we lost out on one killer house; we were one of 2 offers still in the running. we countered; then the other buy countered and said they would be willing to give more $ than us, AND be willing to accept the house as-is / no inspection. even though the listing was not listed as As-is etc. That was one house that came on the market Friday at noon, we viewed it Friday at 5pm and it had probably 15 people walking through it. we offered, and there was 8 offers on the table by 6pm.

****ing insanity.

I think when I'm ready to move again in the future, maybe 10 years, I'll probably just burn it down. it'll be easier that way.

Lol I was think about that too. Just collect the insurance and no headaches

If you call prison no headaches.

Sounds like they wised up or the citizens objected.

When you would bring it up to anyone that grew up there, they would just look at you funny, as it was normal to them.

I was thinking about if it burned down, not setting it on fire. I ****ed that up. Thanks for setting me straight pig man

Thanks buddy! I can do the sale, which is easy for me, and let the lawyer/realtor do the law side.

Turn that crib into a meth lab an you'll have buyers lined up around the block.

I seriously don't know how those "house hunters' shows are so popular. I mean, are there people out there who actually enjoy buying a house and moving?


It was fun for us for about the 1st two weeks in April. By September, we were so sick of looking at houses (online and in person) that it was hard to even look at a house objectively. was I wanting to offer on a particular house because I wanted it. Or, offering on it because I wanted the nightmare to end? lol.

it all worked out in the end. I really like the house we're in . But holy shit......
it was a horrible experience. Just......horrible.

If you can’t find someone local let me know I’ll get you the number for the folks up here.

We're going to be downsizing in a couple of years (at least that is my thought. not so sure my wife is bought into it yet)

I am not looking forward to going through the whole process again. I told my wife, we're going to find 10 acres somewhere and put a double wide on it. Life will be good.

We're walking away with $160k, next house will be $260k max...I think we're good.

It starts out fun when you're thinking about it, but once you're into it you realize it for the hell it is. Same thing whenever I decide I want a new vehicle, I start out excited about it, start looking around, and after a week or so of sifting through overpriced junk, or "it's already sold" or idiots that don't respond to ads likely because they sold it but never bothered to take the ****ing ads down and so forth, I am ready to kill someone.

I have one for you....happened about 30 years ago when the wife and I were still living in the KC area.

We saw a nice little house we were wanting to buy....had a buyer for our house and we were closing in 30 days.

We made a bid on a house and found out there was another bidder. We offered 5% above asking because it was worth it and in a neighborhood we wanted to be in.

In the end we lost to the other bidder because he offered 15% over list. That part didn't upset me...some you win some you lose.

What pissed me off was the gall of the guy to call me the next day to ask me if I wanted to buy it from him on a lease-to-own option.

I was mostly just venting, but yeah that's pretty awesome.

Eh, going from not having a mortgage to having one isn't awesome. But hopefully not being stuck in Pigsknuckle anymore will be awesome.

I liked pigsknuckle, although I don’t live there. Never any traffic and everybody is nice. And you’re close to livesteam and his lemon Budweiser beer (blech)

What does Patrick Mahomes' dad have to do with this?

We bought our house back in 2012 really before we were expecting right before we got married. We were looking at apartments and quickly realized nice ones we liked were way too expensive to just be flushing money down the toilet. And at that time the market was very favorable to buyers. The house we bought in a great neighborhood was on the market for three months. It had its price lowered at least two times by the time we saw it. And there were plenty of houses around back then with similar scenarios. We knew would we end up overextending ourselves a bit to get the house since we didn’t have a 20% down payment but it has definitely been worth it and we knew it’s value would rise eventually, though how quickly has been surprising.

Our next door neighbors (twice now) had a similar experience others have described when they moved in a two years ago. They had to offer over asking on the first day. The people who bought it before them like four years back did the same but still managed to make money when they sold it to our current neighbors. It was like four years ago the house sold for 60k more than we paid and our current neighbors paid 100k more than us. And the houses are basically the same. It’s just crazy how fast the prices have risen.

So we had to pay PMI for a while and high interest but after we were ready to refinance we now pay only $100 more per month, got rid of PMI and pay more to principal than interest each month now with the 18 year standard loan we got on. So for us buying the house was pretty fun and exciting and relatively easy. It just sounds exhausting to try to but right now though.

Lol...never any traffic. Maybe not what you're used to, but it's getting worse every year. I attribute a lot of it to people being more concerned with their phones than with driving. Seems like more and more assholes appear as time goes on as well. Me getting old and cranky myself doesn't help either.

It's not like it's terrible, housing is cheap, but the taxes are oppressive. And the summers are miserable. And I've already ridden every bike trail within a 200 mile radius. It was ok for the first 50 years but I'm kinda running out of reasons to stay here.