Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 24 - loochy versus Beef Supreme
 

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue - The local mall, extremely crowded with shoppers
Starting Distance - 23 feet

loochy

Main Weapon - Trained attack falcon
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 8 Minutes
Special Factors - None

Beef Supreme

Main Weapon - Scalpel Bolas
Backup Weapon - Lasso

Prep Time - 9 Minutes
Special Factors - You are made aware of a very small pit that is cleverly camouflaged with sharp spikes at the bottom that is relatively distant from the starting point of the match. Your opponent is unaware of said pit.

Falconry for the win.

Isn't Loochy nearly blind? He is not going to see that pit, fall in, get impaled, Falcon will feast on his blood.

But I love the New Weapon. I want a Falcon in Round 2 Please.

Waiting to vote after I hear the Gladiator Contestants.

WTF is a scalpel bola? I'm going to have to google.

I was kinda hoping for a Dilldozer.

Nearly blind? LOLWUT? Are you basing this off of my responses to the "thick girls" thread?

I have the Falcon so I have no need to move at all.
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If a scalpel bola is one of these, but with scalpels ....

http://slinging.org/forum/yabbfiles/...s/DSCF4896.JPG

... I am taking out some mall shoppers and giving no ****s.

About 15000 years ago, South American hunters began making bolas by tying two or three golf ball sized, grooved stones to leather thongs that were joined together. Bolas, the Spanish word for balls, was the name Spanish conquistadors gave to the weapon.


So it's pretty much a flail with scalpel blades on it?

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon....14GQHY5hTL.jpg
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Gotta go with the beef on this one and it's not even close.

I'm sorry loochy. If it makes you feel better you can lie next to me in the dead CP gladiator corpse pit.

Like a young Vincent D'onofrio, I will command the mall like a mall ninja with a gift certificate to Spencer's Gifts.

http://www.quietearth.us/img/s/Scree...22%2022.27.jpg

Could they order them online from Adam and Eve?

I haven't voted yet.

Loochy, please describe how your Falcon is going to kill Beef Supreme

Trained attack Falcon is the coolest weapon yet

Untrained falconer, how the shit is he going to get the falcon to attack me and not the crowds of other mall patrons?

Curious about the difficulty of this myself. Waiting to hear before I vote.

The falcon will fly in and attack his face...because it's a "trained attach falcon."

Beef Supreme is untrained with his flail and will probably end up slicing himself up as much as the bird. Then all I have to do is walk up and stand on his skull and crush it.
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Beef will be broke apart in mid-air.

Jeeeeeeesus.

I'm leaning loocy here, but the question is whether the bird can inflict enough damage for death since he has no weapon. I guess if the bird is on Beef's back shredding his ass, he might drop a weapon to be used against him if he gets the bird subdued.

Mother****er, those birds are the shit of nightmares.

A. He has no means of getting the bird to attack me. The bird is just as likely to attack him, or one of the patrons at the crowded mall, or a sparrow living in the rafters.

B. If it does by some remote chance try and attack me, good luck getting through the helicopter of death I am spinning above my head.

C. If it somehow manages to get through that, I will bite its head off like Ozzy on a six month bender. Then use my knowlege of the secret pit with spikes to lure loochy to his death by impalement.

How is this possible? Jjchieffan told me the earth is only 5000 years old.

damn, den i wuz rong, yo
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I need to know:

1) What kind of Falcon is this?
2) Has it been trained to attack Humans?
3) Does it eat at Chic-fil-A?

1) an Atlanta falcon
2) yes, in a LaSean McCoy fashion
3) yes, it enjoys fried chicken

Going with beef supreme. Falcon not remotely guaranteed to attack the correct person out of everyone.

Now he can attack with bolo or lead to the pit.

Well if it eats Chic-fil-a the odds may have shifted. If I am at a mall that has a Chic-fil-a, there is a good chance I will be seduced by the Chic-fil-a and forget all about the gladiator match. If the falcon is trained to attack Chic-fil-a, he will probably be attacking me. But he better bring his "A" game because I will cut a bitch for Chic-fil-a.

Apparently, crows can recognize human faces, meaning if you **** with a crow and the other crows see you do it, they'll attack you specifically every time they see your face. Not sure if Falcons have this ability.

Falcons have every ability.

Have to go Beef Supreme here, though the falcon is probably the coolest weapon thus far

LMAO

I never thought their sandwiches were "all that". I've always been drawn to their waffle fries. Mix some mayo and ketchup (which I hear is now referred to as "fry sauce") to dip them in.

The battle ends with Beef Supreme in the food court, dining on Chik-Fil-A's new Falcon Nuggets while loochy tries to figure out how to get the spikes out of his spleen. Beef Supreme moves on to Round 2.

You're gay.

This is gay.
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We're all happy

loochy did the delete motion which caused the falcon to peck at his eyes, falling into the pit in the process.

(Clicks on the pictures forum, looks around for a bit.)

Nope, not gay.