Getting my first Colonoscopy tomorrow.
 

The VA found blood in a sample and now I am getting my first Colonoscopy.

I am just a little worried and nervious, and worried and nervious.

Scared they are going to find something bad.

Nothing to be worried about. You won't remember a thing.

You doing the Miralax sprints tonight?

Like looking at that flashy thingy in Men in black?

yes I am

I remember my first colonoscopy. Same worries. Came out with nothing other than a welled lubed booty hole.

That heavens for modern medicine. I can't believe the used to do that awake.

Good luck, I hope it's nothing serious.

I have had fissures in my anus before. Probably where the blood is coming from. At least I hope. That was kind of painfull when they sewed them up. Probably will have to go through that again.

It's not as bad as the thought of it.

You will probably feel 100% better tomorrow.

Guessing by your join date and who we’ve run out at QB within that timeframe, you’re going to be just fine with the procedure and might not need the lube unless you’ve tightened way back up since Mahomes.

I think I wipe too hard.

Tight

Bidet.

No one but peasants should be wiping that much.

I have done it 2x. Just a regular check up though. They found some polyps, as they always will, tested negative.

Your case is a little different. My state of mind when they found something was that it was caught early. If I had anything.

This is your situation as well. Best catch it early, then deal with it.

Most issues are quite treatable. It is better addressed now then later.

I take a shower every time after I take a shit!

Ask for the big one.

It is the only place I have a tatoo.
I have pics.


Had to do a nasal covid test before the last one.


Got stuff shoved up me both ends that week.

You should be able to turn down the water pressure a bit.

Name change to “finger cuffs”?

Belize don't post any photos. We Belize you.

You're a more trusting person than I am. I absolutely will NOT go to the VA unless there's no other alternative.

Don't be embarrassed if you cum. Pretty much every does and the medical team is used to it!

Kohls has showers?

Good luck man hoping for the best

Slip a note between your cheeks.

“We have been trying to reach you regarding your car’s extended warranty”

I'm in my 30s, yet I got a colonoscopy because I had blood in my stool. It was just hemmroids and likely caused by me being a leatherass and playing so much online poker.

If you need a warmup, just call a Houston masseuse and request the “Deshaun Watson”.

This https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...eac6244303.gif

Nothing better than a propofol nap.

And a cheeseburger never tastes better than the first one you have after a colonoscopy

You’re so butthurt from the thread the other day you need a colonoscopy?

I thought that was it.

I did the mail-in Cologuard test.

Easy peasy Japanesey.

Drop the soap and spread your cheeks.

Obligatory

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QI1go72c5H8" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I did that and they found blood.

I'm getting a colonoscopy in the next month or two myself. Let's be colonoscopy buddies!

we don't have time for a butthug. You are in Colorado and I'm in Montana.

:clap:

This one took me a second.

Mixing whiskey in on it. They didn't say I couldn't

87 percent chance of a false positive (no advanced polyp or cancer)

There should be a shit in shower .

I grossed myself out with this comment.

The prep is far worse than the procedure.

And it's not working yet. And I am ****ing hungry.

This isn't your first if you are a Chiefs fan. Chiefs have gave us plenty over the years.

You should be concerned when he’s behind you and you feel both his hands on your shoulders.

How did that feel and Did you notice right away?

I had a ribeye steak, sweet potato and a wonderful salad for supper.

It was awesome!

Also bought the wife some cookie dough Ice cream sandwiches at her request.

I'm in for a long night and don't think I can sleep.

Anesthesiologist came through before I could tell :thumb:

You'll wake up tomorrow 10 pounds lighter...it's a ruse, but you'll feel really good about it for awhile.

Mine was a couple years ago. My wife took video of me after I "woke up". Woooow...I was fuuuuucked up...

They found and removed some polyps, nothing to worry about. You'll be fine. Happy shitting tonight!

Hope all goes well and you receive nothing but good news/results.

I called DAV to get a ride and they have not contacted me yet. Hopefully a driver will call in the morning. Otherwise I need to ride my electric bike to my appointment and stagger that ****er home.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/CfZiAiYNcI8" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

LMAO

Dude...you will NOT be driving. When you wake up, you'll have a hard time knowing where you are for a while. I mean, after about an hour or so you might be OK...call an Uber or something. You don't have anyone to give you a ride??

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/WKQ-SM8rYdM

No. I am pretty new in Butte. I am on my own, but I am a surviver. I can ride my bike there and leave when I feel good enough to leave. Only thing I am really worried about is the results.

My 1st time I woke up about 20mins after they were done and I was ready to go for the day. Most uncomfortable thing was sitting down in the passenger seat and realizing I probably had a pound of Vaseline around my butt.

2nd time I was knocked out and could not have driven safely without a doubt.

3rd time I farted after I woke up and didn't realize I shit the bed until I got up. I pretty much ran out of that one.

That's funny.

:LOL:

The nurse deserved it. She called my wife my daughter.

Don't know what gave that old bag the idea I was that old but damn.

Took my first poop. A little bit of runny in it.

I believe the shit storm is about to start.

Who wants a play by play ?

In general, patients must have a driver if they use anesthesia. Also, many hospitals prohibit ride share, because the driver could take advantage of you while under anesthesia.

I am hoping a DAV driver calls me in the morning. It has happened before for me that I didn't think the Driver was coming and they did. For some reason the Coordinator didn't tell me. They have treated me good. The VA has improved since the President I will not mention his name was president. Not the one who is there now.

You'd think it would be memorable, but don't know if I've had two or three of those things.

Anyway good you're getting it done, not that hard and not something you should skip.

I truely would be lost without the VA

They now have care in the community that your primary doctor approves easily. I am going to St James hospital in Butte for this and they first mentioned going to Helena. They approve doing it locally very easily now. The president I will not name Made this happen. The VA is definately better.

I am actually thinking about doing this. Humor is awesome.

Brother no worries at all. When you come out of the anesthesia you will be hungry and fell like a million bucks - you will be fine - prayers! :thumb:

When I did my colonoscopy, I was out like a light and then when I woke up, I was 100 percent alert. I expected to be groggy, but nope, I was perfectly alert instantly. My wife can confirm this.

I really enjoyed my time in Southern Louisiana. I worked for Petroleum Helicopters shortly after I got out of the Air Force. Lafayette is one hell of a town.

How's your toilet bowl visibility about now? Put a baseball card in the bottom of the bowl. If you can read the stats on the back, you're ready.

What kind of prep are you using? Drinking that gallon jug or the "super prep"? With my first scope they had me do the gallon jug and that absolutely sucked. But after that the next scopes were all "super prep" which is a piece of cake.

I'm kinda glad I experienced the nastiness of the gallon jug prep the first time around so that I could appreciate how much of a breeze that "super prep"stuff is.

Should I use a valuable card, or a shit card? Since I am shitting in a bucket, I should maybe use a card of a famous player that should be on my bucket list.

Mirilax split in two in two 32 oz bottles of gatorade. and 4 other laxitive pills. split 2 and 2. don't know what is super prep, but It still is not working so good.

My wife got one. She was goofy when she woke up. Made some raunchy comments and had no idea about 30 mins later lol

I could not imagine a baseball card laying in that brown silt.