A social Commentary
 

In a meeting, Up in front,
A gurgle happens in my gut.
Sensation growing, moving down
Please Oh Please, no Noise of Brown.

Pinching cheeks with all my might
Hope to God the Seals' tight.
If it happens, and my Crack gets tacky
I'm so fooked...My pants, light khaki.

Presentation, finish quick
The smell escapes, makes people sick.
No I can't take any questions
Must go deal with Indigestion.

Throwing People out of my way,
they'll be sorry if I stay.
Run for bathroom Doing fine,
Grab A stall, thank God no Line.

Explosion Happens, volume triples
Did Crapnel chunks just hit my nipple?
I made it through, and tamed this beast
Hold my Breath and Sigh Relief.

Into room They come,
as Toilet Drains,
As I proudly walk, the walk of Shame.

Ahhh toilet humor and poetry all wraped up into one. I have been waiting my whole life for this.

This thread was brought to you by the Number 2, and letters T&P.

Those must be the word of the day. Im going to get a new avatar.

Craptacular!

It's called toiletry.

Rainman.......why do you have to take everything to the Dumper?

I work for a solid 10 minutes to pen out a poem for my brother, to explain a meeting and you have to go right for the Pickle Park Humor.

"Good things, Good Things" [/whap]

Wow, I've been there. Hate that walk of shame....but then again the relief makes me not really care.

yeah, i told the story a couple months back about my friend whose seal wasnt 'tight' and he blew a g'ass'ket in his blue khakis... right after a meeting on the way to bathroom... thinking it was a fart... it 'twas not.

Yeah!! A poop thread. More!!

after years of experience and research, I have come to the conclusion that chick turds smell worse than man turds.

A poop thread is not complete without Captain Underpants

I think you guys missed the point. This isn't about the Poop.........Its a metaphor about the Thrill of victory, and thankfully not the agony of Defeat.

I figured it was more usefull than making up a FA signing rumor. Truthfully, there is lest Crap in this thread than several others.

This thread is worthless without pics.

:banghead: :banghead:

I'm treating myself to a rare nice breakfast today and I HAD TO READ THIS just before attempting to eat.

CURSE YOU IOWANIAN..IAN..IAN..IAN..IAN!!!

Don't any of you fuggers Do it!

Little Buddy, its far too early in the day, to have your head so far in your butt that there is an echo. It can't be easy to get that spoon of Fruity pebbles to your mouth either.


Iowanian Posts must be like a Flame for a moth........You know it's eventually going to burn you, but you just can't help going to the light.

to those that feel this ode was funny
snickering "iowanians ass crack's runny"

you might now just want to remind
yourself, how clean's your own behind?
sec

I'll have you know, I do declare....
That I have on clean underwear.....

The reason why,is very clear....
I used some soap on my own rear....

I checked my legs, they were ok...
No matter as I don't wash them anyway.... :p

No percolation
during powerpoint slide show
must keep dignity.

If you don't have a clean rear derriere
No one will stick their tongue near there

Therefore no one will toss your salad
Thus the end of our ballad.

That is wrong on so many levels....

Wedding Tackle Splashed
Who Does Number 2 work for?!
Needing Plunger Soon

eight minute abs
ain't got nuttin' on my shits
grunt strain let 'er go.

Wonder what she ate?
Girl Farts smell like French Fries
Up wind is better.

Bombs away Captain
Cheerio Rises To Top
Fire Torpedo 2

venti mochalatta
not so pleasant this time 'round.
caffeine tickles bowels

Bucket of Cables
Bronco fans have to eat, too
wipe your chin, taco

Olestra on 'roids.
Clean the chute in no time flat.
corn nibs swept away.

sitting on a tiolet
pushing really hard
please come out already
dear 12-inch turd

mister 12-inch poo
won't be going easy
forming big ol' horse-shoe
leaving me so dizzy

there goes my baby
floating oh so gaily
time to flush the monster
get the big ol' plunger

0 4 Free Agents
Material for this thread
Good Luck in 'Zona

Splatter up my back
Didn't see the Lid was down
Shoes filling also

ROFL

"Play Doh Fun Bucket"
Not so fun at 'wanian's house
Only color, brown.

ROFL

Why is this thread so funny?

Because poop sells, everyone knows that.

Ode to the Impatient

No Free Agents Yet
Carl Still On his vacation
He can Suk mah baows

The Brown Noise, Part POO: the Spattering:

Its 30 minutes after lunch,
I just thought you should know.
I'm squirming here atop my chair
About to face my well known Foe.

People Look in wonder
and its only the beginning
About to chip some moellers
Busted teeth from Brutal Gritting

Union Meeting Crowded line
No more stopping my behind.
I take me seat and grab a grip
Screw the union, Let it rip.

Explosive recoil,
thunder rolls
Art work Formed
inside the Bowl

I make no claim of value
What this master piece is worth
if it hadn't been half water
It'd be like giving birth

It might seem strange to look,
This one gave me the sweats.
but the spatter in that bowl right there
looks like our friend Bob Gretz

Oh...but It does.

I'm not going that far for your entertainment though.

We already have 30 threads about stupid shit, Ban this terd!

Opps my bad

This made me laugh again.
ROFL

Someone Find a fan
wanian Broke wind again
Open the Window

I passed by this thread 15 times or more......oh why did I have to stop and read it.....:banghead:

Easy..the same reason you feel the need to wipe your butt on the curtains of every other thread.

The ode to mudbutt great job.

Eyes water, lashes curl.
Digested esters escape.
Fragrance fills the room.

Intense thought of targeting
the cheerio I'll be sinking
About to make another trip
to the throne of enlightened thinking.

No fiber pills are needed
I pick the time and Place
No need to set a timeclock
This ones, not a race.

Mental preparation.
Breathing forced and stout.
with the next contraction
I'll work this mutha out.

A thought crosses in my mind
As I'm giving birth.
The splash of water on mah arse...
the fastest Thing on earth?

Oh the great fecal
Pushing sphincter to the max
coffee is debil

scatalogical
never saw the connection
between poop and jazz.

Here I sit in smelly vapor
The last guy here used all the paper
The Boss is coming, I dare not linger
Look out butt, here comes the finger

H8R, jcroft.
jcroft, H8R.

thanks to flatulii,
in church, a new kind of pew,
uh oh, holy shit

sweet corn season now
2 fresh ears in mah belly
see You Tomorrow

Too bad your rep is disabled.
:hmmm:

Iowanian
His alter ego, gochiefs
Both battle Klingons

A corollary,
An inverse relationship-
hair on butt and head

Turtle head peeking
No bathroom is in my sight
thank you paper bag

Phantom Dook is found
Letter Q is impressive
chiefs4me did it

The Phantom menace
is a steamy pile of doo doo
outside the campsite

Late to the Party
Fat Elvis makes Poo-etry
No pens have brown Ink.

Question.....a naked man in solitary takes a dump and uses it to write on the wall.....

Would you call that writing with a #2 pencil?

mmaddog
*******

Note to poor people (or college kids): no matter how broke you are don't eat scrambled eggs with cheese for 6 straight meals. Just...don't.

Short Drunken German,
Ate a bunch of scrambled eggs,
Pissing out his ass

Shows what you know.

Poor people can't afford cheese

Pissed off like Japan
bitch cooked those damned eggs again
kill her down by the river...

Shows what you know, welfare gives that $#it out like candy...

I need to get me some welfare then.


Free cheese would rule.

Welfare, WIC, all that jazz.

What's stupid is how those foodstamps pay for candy and pop and junkfood. It's ridiculous.

Standing in the line,
Waiting for the gubment cheese,
Get a job, bitches

Another Day, Another Dollar.
Arse is burning, About to holler.

Hurry home For Pain relief,
the soothing cool of toilet seat.
I'll get there by spinning wheels,
No leaks today, thanks Buns of Steel.

Can he make it? Taking Bets
Over/Under Pants brown-wet?
Home team getting 3 and cramps,
Make it home, and be the Champ.

Thai Chili Peppers
Do a number on your ass
Spicy through and through

walking down a trail,
the other day...
Thought I'd fart,
but OH, no way...
I felt a squirt
and gave a squeeze...
much too late so,
I wiped with leaves.


:banghead:

http://www.ontariowildflower.com/ima...geleavedlv.jpg

Thanksgiving Friday.


Too much Turkey, Pumpkin pie
I strain so hard I close my eyes.
Ate that fiber, turned it brown
it'll take two flushes, to take it down

Turkey base, potato filling
over my pants the gut is spilling
The bubbles rumble, near the bottom
Explosive gas, surely rotten.

You know you'll do it...
take a look
Thursdays menu,
an open book.

So thank you Indians
for the food we borrowed
Oh Look its corn,
see you tomorrow.

Feel the gurgles, rumble down
Its near time to birth some brown.
open lid on orangemange.
relief inside from gastral pain
congratulations,t@co Jr weighs 3 pounds

Sounds like pregnancy to me! ROFL

Nope. Iowanian has never been pregnant. He's on the rag sometimes though.

I'm one sick bastard...I read this entire thread while eating lunch.

ROFL Rep!