So guess where I woke up this morning.......
 

.......in my car, parked on the side of the road. I woke up with my head on my steering wheel, car still on, and my buddy sleeping in the passanger seat.

The only reason I actually woke up was because my phone was viberating in my pocket. I look at the number and see it is coming from my office. I look at the clock and its 9:57 am.

"fuck, I'm late for work!"

I figure the person on the phone was my friend busting my balls for not being there yet. NOPE, its my boss asking if I felt like coming in today or if I was just going to piss him off and not show up.

So I wake my buddy up, ask why we were sleeping on the side of the road, and fly to work. Apparently we tied one on pretty good last night and decided I was to drunk to drive any further. Of course we were no where near where we lived..............

nothing better than getting blackout sh*tfaced on a Wednesday :shake:

Is your sphinctor sore at all?

no, but it tastes like someone took a sh*t in my mouth

You're cool.

you could play for the Chiefs

... driving.

Que the Guiness "Brilliant" guys in 3, 2, 1...

I knew you would apprieciate it :p

I pulled over and stopped driving. I didn't go very far.

Up in Boston, it's not illegal to drive drunk. Everyone drives like they're drunk anyway. :)

Way to drive drunk ass hat..... :shake:

You sure it wasn't Tom Brady's bed you woke up in?

Did you go to work like that, same old cloths and stinky breath?

I've been up there, and I know this.

Plus the roads are so F@ked up you almost have to be drunk to drive on them anyway...

this says it all...

And here's the funny thing...

He gets his sorry, drunk ass to work...let's say 10:45...
And by 1:45 he's posting on the Planet. Chiefsplanet, that is.

Lord only knows how long he was on the "other" board.

:clap:

thats funny sh*t

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I don't drink.

Your ass should be in jail today.

All he could think after waking up in his car this morning was "oh wait till the guys on the boards hear about this one".

Yaa.....almost appears premeditated :hmmm:

That’s no chit.

yepper, jail is too good for you.

I learned my lesson driving drunk. I won't preach, cuz I have no room to talk, but blacking out might suggest a drinking problem. Just a thought.....

Oh like we didn't already know that about nadmonkey!

Got one word for you: Cab.

A $65 - $100 cab fare is a hell of alot better than getting a DUI or killing someone. Make sure you think about this option before you get into your vehicle even after a few drinks.

Better yet, call a friend or family member. I can almost guarantee you that they won't be pissed you called them.

Remember young squire, a penny's worth of prevention is worth a pound of regret.

Wow, thats trashy.

I like cadmonkey, but I worry about him if he doesn't think this is a problem.

Agreed.

That's haahd coh-ah

:shake:

This message brought to you by, Trojan.

:D

...

Works in that instance as well.

:)

Nice hat

wow!

That's just.............well..............it's just a great reminder to wear sunscreen.

doh!

I'M JUST KIDDING FOR CRISSAKES!!!!!!!!!

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showp...3&postcount=36

Sounds like a problem to me.

If I'm not mistaken, that girl in the picture is from the greater Boston area. I was in Boston not too long after an accident like that happened. Very sad story.

I once dropped a buddy of mine off at a different friends house one time and he didn't want to sleep in their house I guess so he walks around the parking lot looking for my car and he found a silver grand am that looked kinda like the one I drive and the doors were unlocked so he passes out in that car and in the morning some chick comes to her car and finds my friend sleeping in her car! he told me about that and I still give him $hit for it!

Cue Ted Kennedy take in 1 2 3.....

Dave

Cadmonkey could very well be Deadmonkey today.

Damn, dude... the curse is ov-ah... no need to get wicked pissed like that. Think, bro.

You're lucky you didn't wake up to a State Trooper.

That could never happen to you. You don't work.

moderndrunkard.com

If yah werah wicked smaht, you'd ah left yah cah pahked in da cah pahk.

**** off. You don't know shit about me.

Now he knows where one of your buttons is, thanks to your "tell".

well, i do...

you are a star warian freak, you were raised jw (my sister-in-law raised her kids in jw), one of your names is clayton, you don't have a heavy beard, your quite computer literate, have mad skills with chiefs clips, and you have matured a great deal over the last year with a corresponding improvement in behavior...

that's for starters, but i gotta go fix me another drink right now...

i'm trying to keep up with cadmonkey... :harumph: :harumph: :harumph:

He would have here in Nebraska. Even if your pulled off to the side of the road with the car not running, if the keys are even in your possession it's a DUI. :shake:

I think that's the way it is most places. I think that's a shitty law, too.

A lot of people make the mistake of driving while drunk, but if you realize you shouldn't be while enroute and pull over to sleep it off, you should be free from prosecution.

Yeah, Gochiefs is pretty easy that way. But he has so many faults I get confused on which one to exploit next.

.

Technically if the keys are not in the ignition or in your pocket but say in the glove box or visor you should be able to beat the charge.

"And I hope it feels good. There's noting more exhilarating than pointing out the faults of others."

gochiefs...what do you mean you don't drink?

Remember that whole Wager fiasco about your drinking eleventy shots of "kahula"

Besides...you know you woke up this mornin' with a lil' captain in yah.

Of course thats what you call your uncles Pee Pee

I don't drink. I gave it up. I decided it wasn't for me.

Hehe, that's the foundation upon which Chiefsplanet was built.

ROFL

Yeah, I rather enjoy it. Especially when it's you. You're wide open to ridicule.

Whatever. You know very little about me. Assume what you like.

Are you still living with your mommy in Spring, Tx., Clayton? What happened to your rep?

Where I live and what I do is none of your damn business.

My rep was destroyed by Phobia in a 15 minute wild-ass rep party.

Hitting a little close to home am I? Do you have any timetable for getting a job and supporting yourself or are you going to be a leech forever?

I would say you have no idea what you're talking about. Just because I choose not to talk about my personal life on Chiefsplanet does not mean I do not have one.

The entire Planet knows all about you. Hiding your head in the sand does you no good.

Are you coming to the Houston game?

meatpeeker...instead of getting pissy, your correct play was to say something like

"I don't know skip..you still taking Viagra cocktails to fornicate that angora goat that mows your yard?"

Yeah, but I'm not nearly that creative, and "SKIP IS OLD LOL" jokes get tiring.

Then your best bet is just to ignore him.

My cousin was killed by a drunk driver 2 years ago, hopefully you think before you act next time.

I totally agree. I got drunk at a buddy's house and knew I should not drive. So I decided to just sleep in my truck. I was thinking that night...if a cop comes he can probably arrest me for drunk driving even though I was sober as a judge when I parked my truck there. I hid my keys in my tool box and hoped that would get me off.

I'm sorry to hear that.
I know exactly how that makes you feel.

For whom?

For me, at least. They've been run into the ground worse than "GOCHIEFS IS GAY AND PEEKS MEAT LOL"

OK, Junior, that's all the attention you're getting from me tonight. I'll be back in a week or so.

Did you remember I used to have a herd of 300 Angora goats or did you just get lucky? The vet I used was a young guy who graduated from the Naval Academy and K-State. He at first told me he knew little about goats. I told him he should know about them, the Angora goat is the mascot of the Naval Academy.

Sounds as though you speak from experience. :)

SKIP IS OLD! LOL!

SHORTCOMINGS.

I actually found this story fairly amusing.

Black outs beware..........NOT GOOD! Glad you stopped but be cautious with that.

If you're bragging that you were late to work this morning because you were too shitfaced drunk to drive and eventually passed out on the side of the road, I would be willing to wager that there are a couple of things you're not telling us. Like you're a closet Packers fan, and some of the less mentionable moments last night included bratwurst.