You've been tasked to train your replacement from India...
 

... and you are going to sabotage his career. What are you going to teach him?

i.e. You know the company president loves to drive through the raked up leaves, but Sonjay doesn't know that. Teach Sonjay the importance of placing some old railroad tie cutoffs and the blown engine block from a '64 Pontiac under the leaves...

If a person gets fired, it is tradition to throw that person's spouse into a fire.

From my own experience in this exact situation... teach them nothing. The rest pretty much takes care of itself.

Or better yet teach them to do your job exactly the way you did it.

That way you'll leave knowing they will soon be getting fired also.

Tell them to end each phone conversation with the phrase:

"F_ck you very much"

Mujibar was trying to get into Canada legally through Immigration. The Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed most of the required tests, but there is one more compulsory test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter Canada."
Mujibar said, "I am ready."
The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words
Yellow, Pink and Green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister
Officer, I am ready." The Officer said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green,
and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar'."

Mujibar now lives in a neighborhood near you, and works at Microsoft tech support desk.

First off, I would never touch this persons left hand.

Teach him that the boss shares his wife with all new employees.

Ritual bathing in the company fountain is fine.

how about you sack up and handle it like a man instead of a sissy crybaby?

be really really nice to him. but when he's not looking slather everything he ownes in bacon grease, sneak ham into his food, and use his turbin to soak up the grease off your peporoni, ham, and sausage pizza.

The free market is the answer. All your base are belong to us.

You know, I actually had a cold-call by a rep from an Indian programming company-

"Heddo sir. I bedieve ju ah da person to talk to aboot moving some of jor company's job offshore...am I cowect?"
"Well, since I'm a programmer, what do you think?"

As for training my replacement...meh, don't think I'd do it. I'd just cut my losses and move on.

Hey, Francis, don't you have some online poker site to pimp over in the Games forum?

Patting a female superior on the ass is a sign of respect.

This might be a good one if you can get one of the female employees to go along with a quick feel then she bows and thanks you...

Hmmm Me likey.

Dave

Dude's, get over it. If you assumed Indian's do not know english/american culture, you are dead wrong. And while you vent in a message board on a subject most of you probably have no idea with, it's actually a better idea to confront the corporate whore's who send the jobs in the first place. And yes, I'm from India

Newsflash: India is not a Muslim country.

Like most of the people in this country really know the difference. However, India has a large Muslim population.

Teach them that their job is an entitlement that is owed to them and they have the right to spend the day surfing the web and posting on Chiefs Planet?

:D

Most people are morons. India is 80% Hindu. Only 13% of their population are Muslim. (For reference, France is 5-10% Muslim.)

Your and idiot! Only 10% of people are morons. Most people are average or below. For reference, nearly 50% of people are above average.

:D

13% of over 1 billion is a lot.

I rest my case.

Cool. Do you live in India now, or are you in the U.S.? I have a great (albeit uneducated) interest in India.

For now.

1% of over 1 billion would be a lot, too.

You don't have a case, I'm a genious!

Don't let him fool you, he justs wants to know if there are bisexual women in India.

Company wants to cut costs... company finds people who will do job for less money... company finds more benefit in new solution than supporting local economy.




Yeah, that's pretty complicated for us...

I love Indian food.

Well, yeah. But I have other interests as well. Secondary interests.

like do they roll around in massage oil.

and throw flower petals all over one another. I saw it in this great documentary about India - "Secrets of the Karma Sutra".

What? Have you heard something? Do you have a link?

picturing kevin in ali baba garb... ROFL

Do an image search on "Khajuraho". I went there in the late 80s on vacation. Las Vegas could learn some lessons from the temples of Khajuraho.

Actually, I was reading an interesting article about this very subject today. It was called "India Vs. Indiana." Quite a Catch-22. Check it out here:
http://yaleglobal.yale.edu/about/flat.jsp

Damn you and your attempt to turn this into some sort of meaningful conversation related to the topic. People like you are the problem with the internet today!

You love any food.

I'm in the Armpit of America aka New Jersey. Been here since the past 5+ years. I was always a fan of your postings. Could clearly tell you know India when you identified Bombay in "Name that city" thread.

was?

you're slacking, Rainman.

That was simple and beautiful. I wish most people get the "company finds more benefit in new solution than supporting local economy because of greedy execs/investors unhappy with profits not rising". Thanks for keeping it simple.

I know...what a killbuzz.
You might like this story too...about outsorcing IT jobs to third world hovels...like Arkansas and North Carolina:
http://tinyurl.com/79dv9

:-) sorry, I ain't Kevin/rainman/whatsoever. Just like his postings is all.

Not sure if it's in his book word for word or not, but he had an article in the NY Times about a trip to India that made him realize the world was flat... it was a great analysis of the last 20 years or so on basically how America created this tiny world and is now suffering the affects because while we're content & arrogant, people in India who couldn't connect 10 years ago are taking advantage of it now.... Good stuff.

Hey, greed & unattainable goals are what makes the business world turn... or at least that's what they tell us in my mba classes.

www.escortspro.com This site might help next time you visit India. Be sure to tip the nice ladies.

http://yaleglobal.yale.edu/display.article?id=3652

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/1...dman.html?pg=3

I'd only speak piglatin, so the person might know what its like to deal with them.

No way, would I work my ass off, to train the forced replacement.

His first task would be "format C:"

ROFLrep

:spock: