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-   -   Once you become Amish.... (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=149969)

Archie F. Swin 10-16-2006 10:17 AM

Once you become Amish....
 
...what will your fondest modern world memory be?

(poll forthcoming)

Easy 6 10-16-2006 10:19 AM

Our Super Bowl win................ehh...wait a sec...i wasnt born yet :banghead:

jidar 10-16-2006 10:20 AM

phone sex with your mother

Easy 6 10-16-2006 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jidar
phone sex with your mother

Save that crap for trolls STFU

Fire Me Boy! 10-16-2006 10:21 AM

A conference call orgy with your and jidar's mothers. :p

4th and Long 10-16-2006 10:24 AM

Q: What do you call an Amish guy who has his arm shoved half way up a horse's butt?

A: A mechanic.

Kyle401 10-16-2006 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
A conference call orgy with your and jidar's mothers. :p

Control thy lusts Yoder!

Dartgod 10-16-2006 11:22 AM

WHY IS BEER NOT ON THIS LIST?!?

Phobia 10-16-2006 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod
WHY IS BEER NOT ON THIS LIST?!?

Cuz Amish totally drink beer. How else can you explain reproduction?

Mr. Laz 10-16-2006 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod
WHY IS BEER NOT ON THIS LIST?!?

can't amish have beer?


i thought it was just any electric that was banned.

Hoover 10-16-2006 11:28 AM

GAZ

kepp 10-16-2006 11:33 AM

Bowling!
http://media.movieweb.com/galleries/...068/lo/co8.jpg

Wile_E_Coyote 10-16-2006 11:33 AM

What is the sect that allows vehicles, usually black with no or little chrome. They dress the same but are more tolerant of the modern world

edit: mennonite

Baby Lee 10-16-2006 11:34 AM

Yeah, the Amish sidle up to 7-11 in their buggies and straight ruin the liquor shelves on Saturday night.

Dartgod 10-16-2006 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laz
can't amish have beer?.

They better or I ain't going!

Rain Man 10-16-2006 12:58 PM

I had no idea that the Amish don't allow Gaz.


I bet at some point the Amish find a loophole in their rules to allow Internet use, just like the Jewish have found loopholes to operate machinery on Saturday. At some point, some savvy clergyperson says, "You know, if we interpret it this way..."

seclark 10-16-2006 01:09 PM

well groomed beavers
sec

JBucc 10-16-2006 01:14 PM

You know, I never thought about the heating or cooling. And what happens if one gets sick? Are they allowed modern medicine or to have x-rays or MRI's?

Rain Man 10-16-2006 01:19 PM

I've never figured out what they can and can't have. I've heard people say that they won't use electricity, but they will use electric power tools.

And more important, I have no idea why they set the rules that they do. What's the big deal about the mid-19th century? Why do they stop development there? Why not the 16th century, and let them all run around in powdered wigs and tights? Or the fourth century, and have them all wear togas? I don't get it.

Phobia 10-16-2006 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JBucc
You know, I never thought about the heating or cooling. And what happens if one gets sick? Are they allowed modern medicine or to have x-rays or MRI's?

They usually die during the 2 day ambulance journey to the hospital.

http://www.majordisaster.fsnet.co.uk...mish_buggy.jpg

vailpass 10-16-2006 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia
They usually die during the 2 day ambulance journey to the hospital.

ROFL

Simplex3 10-16-2006 01:23 PM

If it's true that I won't be able to shave that will suck. Other than that I'd be cool. I don't need any of this crap.

Rain Man 10-16-2006 01:25 PM

Perhaps there's an Amish bulletin board site where we can ask the Amish these questions.

Simplex3 10-16-2006 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man
Perhaps there's an Amish bulletin board site where we can ask the Amish these questions.

See, this is where the Buddhists have the Amish beat hands down. They HAVE bulletin boards and stuff.

Rain Man 10-16-2006 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simplex3
See, this is where the Buddhists have the Amish beat hands down. They HAVE bulletin boards and stuff.

I thought the Buddhist boards only existed transcendentally.

I think I found an Amish board, but it's never had a post on it.

Baby Lee 10-16-2006 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man
I've never figured out what they can and can't have. I've heard people say that they won't use electricity, but they will use electric power tools.

And more important, I have no idea why they set the rules that they do. What's the big deal about the mid-19th century? Why do they stop development there? Why not the 16th century, and let them all run around in powdered wigs and tights? Or the fourth century, and have them all wear togas? I don't get it.

I don't think it's about electricity or the internal combustion engine, or modern contraptions in themselves.
They don't per se ban these things as evil, so much as they eschew them in favor of interpersonal reliance.
Basically they see modern conveniences as impersonal and ostentatious, while their lifestyle is centered on humility and social interaction [among themselves].
That's why they have rumsprigga, lets the teens decide for themselves if they prefer the modern life, or at least taste it to further cement the good qualities of their chosen life.

Simplex3 10-16-2006 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby Lee
That's why they have rumsprigga, lets the teens decide for themselves if they prefer the modern life, or at least taste it to further cement the good qualities of their chosen life.

You have to admire a way of life which allows their kids the ability to seek out other lifestyles and judge for themselves.

Rain Man 10-16-2006 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby Lee
I don't think it's about electricity or the internal combustion engine, or modern contraptions in themselves.
They don't per se ban these things as evil, so much as they eschew them in favor of interpersonal reliance.
Basically they see modern conveniences as impersonal and ostentatious, while their lifestyle is centered on humility and social interaction [among themselves].
That's why they have rumsprigga, lets the teens decide for themselves if they prefer the modern life, or at least taste it to further cement the good qualities of their chosen life.

Y'know, to be honest, I'm looking at that list of stuff and I wouldn't mind living without all of them 99 percent of the time. It might not be good for my material wealth, but it would probably improve my quality of life. Maybe the Amish are onto something.

I would just need the rest of you to keep developing weapons so the terrorists don't take over.

Baby Lee 10-16-2006 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man
Y'know, to be honest, I'm looking at that list of stuff and I wouldn't mind living without all of them 99 percent of the time. It might not be good for my material wealth, but it would probably improve my quality of life. Maybe the Amish are onto something.

I would just need the rest of you to keep developing weapons so the terrorists don't take over.

Yeah, there are some intriguing aspects. But a life oblivious to the saga of Dawson and Pacey is a life I don't want to live.

Rain Man 10-16-2006 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby Lee
Yeah, there are some intriguing aspects. But a life oblivious to the saga of Dawson and Pacey is a life I don't want to live.

My biggest worry would be that reading the box scores of the Chiefs games wouldn't be as satisfying as watching them on TV.

Simplex3 10-16-2006 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man
My biggest worry would be that reading the box scores of the Chiefs games wouldn't be as satisfying as watching them on TV.

You could still go to the games, right?

Rain Man 10-16-2006 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simplex3
You could still go to the games, right?

Good point. And my savings on utility bills, cable, and internet would more than pay for the tickets.

How long does it take to cross Kansas on a horse?

Easy 6 10-16-2006 03:52 PM

I have nothing against the Amish but i delivered cabinetry making supplies to a large Amish community in Arthur, Ill for 3 years and the one thing i'll never forget is the smells in their houses........a mixture of pickling spices and body odor. I also saw no more than 3 reasonably attractive women in those 3 years.

blueballs 10-16-2006 05:37 PM

money
the money goes to the church
they pay no taxes

Dartgod 10-16-2006 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man
My biggest worry would be that reading the box scores of the Chiefs games wouldn't be as satisfying as watching them on TV.

Nor as infuriating.

gblowfish 10-16-2006 05:42 PM

I'd like to see an Amish "V-Dub: Pimp My Ride" commercial.

Blackened 10-16-2006 06:00 PM

They have porn right?

vailpass 10-16-2006 06:05 PM

You get to bowl and smoke and drink at the bowling alley. And Blues Traveller comes over and jams at your barn raisings. That's something at least.

CHENZ A! 10-16-2006 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vailpass
You get to bowl and smoke and drink at the bowling alley. And Blues Traveller comes over and jams at your barn raisings. That's something at least.

All any of us really know about Amish for sure is from the movie Kingpin. LMAO

CHENZ A! 10-16-2006 06:35 PM

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uHVMwf2Ozds"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uHVMwf2Ozds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

Awww damn. forgot all about this. ROFL "We sell quilts at discount price!"

Archie F. Swin 10-16-2006 08:45 PM

no love for the light bulb, hmmm

Ultra Peanut 10-16-2006 08:50 PM

I most certainly would never do such a thing.

Rain Man 10-16-2006 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackened
They have porn right?

Yeah, but it's on tintype.

Rising Sun 10-16-2006 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia
Cuz Amish totally drink beer. How else can you explain reproduction?

Good point. It would probably help to have a few beers before you go to bed with the wife, considering they typically marry someone from their family anyway.

Skip Towne 10-16-2006 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man
I had no idea that the Amish don't allow Gaz.


I bet at some point the Amish find a loophole in their rules to allow Internet use, just like the Jewish have found loopholes to operate machinery on Saturday. At some point, some savvy clergyperson says, "You know, if we interpret it this way..."

Hahaha. You've been watching this game for awhile haven't you? I'll bet Oral Roberts has more contempt for the intellect of the general public than PT Barnum.

Rising Sun 10-16-2006 10:36 PM

maybe i should watch my comments.. just in case an amish guy reads them and takes offense...

ChiefaRoo 10-16-2006 11:32 PM

This thread is like eating reerun sandwiches.

Archie F. Swin 10-17-2006 07:41 AM

'twas my attempt at distracting planeteers from the sports news of the week.

Dartgod 10-17-2006 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CHENZ A!
All any of us really know about Amish for sure is from the movie Kingpin. LMAO

And Witness...

Sully 10-17-2006 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod
And Witness...

And City Market.
(mmmm... pumpkin bread...)

Fire Me Boy! 10-17-2006 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod
And Witness...

I learned not to honk at the horse buggies... you never know when Harrison Ford is going to get out and beat the tar out of you.

boogblaster 10-17-2006 08:30 AM

dont mess with motherstinkpoo....


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