Raising the Office Party Debacle to a new level
 

OK, I've been here for a while and some people know I have a pretty bad reputation when it comes to the booze, drugs, and partying. I really haven't said much lately and feel that I need to let some of the newer members in on some of the fun.

For you older memebers.......keep your "shut up you skin head nazi motherfucker" comments quiet. Some n00bs don't need to hear that shit. but some of you want to hear some back stories:

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=104842

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=121868

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showt...93#post2270193

and the one of me being a skin head I can't find..........anyways, here is the latest horror story as taken from an email I wrote to my buddies:

I must say that I am a little upset that I didn’t make it to the Festivus party. I think I am more upset that I actually attended my Holiday Party at all…….and before I tell this story just understand that I may infact be looking for a new job soon……..and might have a broken thumb.



So the night was going as well as could be expected, open bar, casino night, and good times had by most. Then after my 10th Gin and Tonic, one girl (some of you know who I am talking about) pulls me aside and tells me “we need to talk about something”. She brings me to the second floor of the two story lobby that the gambling tables are set up in. I’m figuring she is going to explain to me why she has been acting really weird the past days and why she was avoiding my phone calls earlier that day. Well she drops a bomb, “I just want to tell you that I’m seeing our boss.” Mine you she is going through a divorce and our boss is married. I’m not really sure what the reaction she was looking for was but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the one I gave.



Not sure what the order was but, I called her wh0re, then I called her fucking joke, put my fist through a wall, blood EVERYWHERE, she started crying and curled up into the fetal position on the couch and told me to go away. I’ve never seen someone so terrified in my life…….until I got to my boss. But I’ll get to that. I go back down to the party and get another drink. My buddy Kevin sees that there is blood pouring from my hand. He takes me to my room to clean up, but on the way I see the guy who I knocked out over the summer at a cookout run past us and up to my friend on the couch.



I wash my hand off, but it won’t stop bleeding. We say fuck it and go back to the party. Not sure who looked for whom but before I know it I have my boss pinned in a corner, my finger in his face, blood still running down my hand telling him he’s a piece of sh*t who is taking advantage of someone in a bad situation. He tells me “obviously no one can find out about this seeing how I am married. I have very strong feeling for her and would hate if something happened to ruin this”



Seeing how I am now in complete rage and a physical mess, Kevin decided I should probably call it a night and go back to my room. As we are heading back there he tells me that the dipsh*t I that was on the couch comforting her is now looking for me, Kevin told him it was probably very wise to stay clear of me. We actually have to walk past the two of them, still on the couch, and the bloody hole in the wall in order to get to my room. But now my boss is also there and I can’t help myself but laugh and say “isn’t that cute.” We get to my room to find that I have been locked out. They shut both my keys off. I had to go to the front desk and tell them I lost my keys, the guy giving me the new one saw that they just locked me out but didn’t want to deal with me and just gave me a new one anyways.



Fast forward about an hour…………we’re hanging out in one girl’s room, about 8 or 9 of us, and she tells me to get on the bed so she came rub my back. At this point I can barley stand up and fall as I am heading to the bed. On the way to the floor my hand swipes across one girl’s nice new dress, giving it a nice red streak across the b00b area. “I think we should call house keeping and get matt some bandages for his hand.” Anyways the next thing I know I wake up in bed, alone with a nice new text from guess who. It says “I need you to respect my privacy and tell no one about this.” Well seeing I told just about all of our friends what happened I’m pretty sure that’s going to be tough. I get out of bed and see what destruction I did to my room after I left that other girl’s room. Pillows thrown every where, beer cans everwhere, “is that puke on the ground?” yup it was. I go to the fridge and crack a cold beer and start making some calls. I meet a few friends down for breakfast and of course the entire restaurant is filled with work people all looking at me and talking.



I think I just raised the bar when it comes to the Holiday Party debacle. I may have to look for a new job, needless to say.

So last night I went to the hospital to get some x-rays done. I’m waiting in the emergency room when I hear a girl’s voice say “ok matthew are you ready?” the curtain opens up and I think I recognize the girl. She looks at me and realizes she knows me too, we worked at the mall together for a few months. She takes me to the x-ray room and starts taking some photos. We’re flirting with each other the whole time until she takes me back to the waiting room. A few minutes later she comes back with a CD, she tells me that she isn’t supposed to do this but she saved the x-rays to the disk if I wanted to look at them at home, and I really wanted to I could call the phone number on the back and meet her for drinks some time. Nothing better than getting picked up at the hospital

.....and yes, after the holiday craziness is over with i have a date with her.

lmao

sometimes I ask myself "what the fuck am I doing?"

I do the same dumbass things when I get drunk...maybe not to that extent...you seem like an angry drunk, I'm more of a happy drunk.

NICE!!! IF they fire you they risk you going to your bosses wife and letting her know what's going on too. It's a double edge sword.

My boss knows that i have his balls right now. He ain't gonna do sh*t to piss me off right now

I think a promotion may be in line. LMAO

fuck a promotion, I just want a raise. A promotion just means more work, a raise means more money. :hmmm:

Hey look at me, I'm destroying my life and alienating my friends. Ain't that funny?

So long as by "promotion" you mean "rehab and AA", I agree.

C'mon, all the cool guys are doing it.

LMAO His mother must be so proud.

So have you EVER posted sober?

You must be an accountant.

I thinking this is meant as a joke, because most Accountants I know only drink heavily at home.

mmaddog
*******

I was thinking the same thing....

mmaddog
*******

WOW...alcohol is powerful.

Matt, I'd like to give you a Christmas gift. You can open it anytime you're ready. Maybe it's today, maybe it's next week or even 6 months from now.

617-426-9444

I don't know you at all, but I actually care about you more than you apparently care about yourself. I don't know why you abuse yourself in this way or why you think it's incredibly entertaining. It's not. Maybe it's a cry for help. I'm not judging you, most of us have been there at one time or another. Some of us grow out of it. Others need help. Please consider getting some help. If your "friends" think it's amusing maybe they're not such good friends afterall.

Ah, there you are. I love you. I knew if I put the bait out there you would bite. I've missed you Phob TinkyWinky

I really don't see how giving him ENDelt's phone number is going to improve things.

Some people just live their lives in a higher gear than others. That doesn't necessarily mean they need rehab, or even change.

Its always the drywall that takes the abuse from a mad drunk.

Tell it to his body, his family, and his employer.

I've never met the guy. I only know him by the cute drinking anecdotes he posts here. It's not normal behavior. He should know that. If his friends don't tell him somebody should. I'm not afraid to let him know there's something wrong.

Just so you know I'm not some high and mighty soapbox shouter, I used to be there. I used to think it was amusing to drink so much alcohol that I couldn't stand up or urinate by myself. I got it under control - thankfully.

I still enjoy a couple beers now and again. No problems.

He's certainly welcome to ignore my efforts. But at least I'll know I tried to do the right thing.

The only problem is that he enjoys the attention of being the drunk. When he starts associating pain instead of pleasure for such behavior-only then he can change- Tony Robbins

It's cool that you care enough to want to help. I was merely pointing out that his definition of "normal behavior" may not be the same as yours. Some of us live a little harder than others not because we have a problem but because that is who we are.

So how was the food?

WTF?

:spock:

errr.....wow!

Not sure what else to say. :eek:

First or second time?

In a way, this lessens my embarrassment at using the wrong fork on my salad at a charity dinner the other night.

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And you figure that at some point he tried to go for a third.

http://www.d12.com/Resources/Alcoholism%20Self-Test.htm

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF ALCOHOLISM?

The NCADD SELF-TEST



WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF ALCOHOLISM?

Here is a self-test to help you review the role alcohol plays in your life. These questions incorporate many common symptoms of alcoholism . This test is intended to help you determine if you or someone you know needs to find out more about alcoholism; It is not intended to be used to establish the diagnosis of alcoholism.

Do you ever drink heavily when you are disappointed, under pressure or have had a quarrel with someone?

Can you handle more alcohol now than when you first started to drink?

Have you ever been unable to remember part of the previous evening, even though your friends said that you did not pass out?

When drinking with other people, do you try to have a few extra drinks when others won't know about?

Do you sometimes feel uncomfortable if alcohol is not available?

Do you sometimes feel a little guilty about your drinking?

Are you in more of a hurry to get your first drink of the day than you used to be?

Has a family member or close friend ever expressed concern or complained about your drinking?

Have you been having more memory 'blackouts' recently?

Do you often want to continue drinking after your friends say they've had enough?

Do you usually have a reason for the occasions when you drink heavily?

When you're sober, do you sometimes regret things you did or said while drinking?

Have you tried switching brands or drinks, or following different plans to control your drinking?

Have you sometimes failed to keep promises you.made to yourself about controlling or cutting down on your drinking?

Have you ever had a DWI (driving while intoxicated) or DUI (driving under the influence of alcohol) violation, or any other legal problem related to your drinking?

Do you try to avoid family or close friends while you are drinking?

Are you having more financial, work, school and/or family problems as a result of your drinking?

Has your physician ever advised you to cut down on your drinking?

Do you eat very little or irregularly during the periods when you are drinking?

Do you sometimes have the "shakes" in the morning and find that it helps to have a "little" drink, tranquilizer medication of some kind?

Have you recently noticed that you can't drink as much as you used to?

Do you sometimes stay drunk for several days at a time?

After periods of drinking do you sometimes see or hear things that aren't there?

Have you ever gone to anyone for, help about your drinking?

Do you ever feel depressed or anxious before, during or after of heavy drinking?

Any "yes" answer indicates that you may be a greater risk for alcoholism. More than one "yes" answer may indicate the presence of an alcohol-related problem or alcoholism, and the need for consultation with a alcoholism professional.

I think cadmonkey got about eight of these questions just based on last night.

I always eat my entire meal with my salad fork. That's how I roll.

Barbarian.

Do you do Bar Mitzvahs?

"Is THIS the man who WRECKED the buffet???"

LMAO

Drinking=fun

Drinking+people like this=scary

Well, your not the first person in history to become a drunken mess at your companies Christmas party.

My question is why did you care so much about a girl at work sexing up her boss to punch a hole in the wall? Did you like her or something?

Geez, you'd think that you'd have the whole dinner/salad fork distinction down by 50.

Man do you ever have a normal day at work ever?

Dude you need to get some serious help for yourself. Drinking is going to ruin this time of your life and probably kill you?

How do you think your mother or father would react to this story? I bet they wouldn't think it was funny or "cute". You need serious help.....NOW!!!!

I don't see what the big deal is. You put your fist through a wall. Big deal.

What I liked was the whole x-ray tech thing - like any girl in her right mind is going to be interested in a moron who hits walls.

I am sure he didn't tell her the story. He probably told her he was boxing or doing something "manly".

Phil I agree. Why do you care the skank is sleeping with the boss. Was she sleeping with you too? If not you should have just chilled. If so I see you anger issue. It does hurt when a girl tells you she's been cheating.

Dave

CadMonkey was just jealous that his boss was taken advantage of the girl who was going through a tough situation... he wanted to be the one to take advantage of her while she was going through the tough situation.

10 Gin and Tonic's... not the best time to hear shit like that. That chick was an idiot for divulging that shit at that time.

Jealousy can make you do dumb shit, especially when you are drunk and dumb as ****.

Good luck Matt... heh

He doesn't have his boss by the balls either, he may believe he does but he doesn't. No one is going to believe the alcoholic dipshit who does stupid crap all the time.

They'll all just say your making it up in your own little drunken world.

I'll take find the oxymoron for $1000, Alex.

Phobia underestimates how many women like completely stupid guys.....

A wall puncher, huh? I've never met one of those but I've always wanted to.

Bob Dole is confused.

You were boinking a married woman, and now you're pissed because she's trying to advance her career by boinking the boss?

I was wondering this too.......so he's mad because she decided to bang the boss instead of him? Well after the way he said he acted are any of us really surprised?

I haven't done that since I was 12.

Does anyone who drinks ever pass that thing?

You must have missed the one that asks if the self tester questions the validity of the test.

The "big deal" IMO is that this is not the first time that this type of thing has happened!!! The alcohol is acting as an inabler for when he loses control. It seems that he is losing control more frequently and the episodes are getting more dramatic as well as more violent.
I would be afraid for his safety if he doesn't get control of this soon.
cadmonkey just hurt himself in a moment where he had lost control of his emotions. If his hand was bleeding as he described he is lucky he didn't seriously damage his hand where it could affect his ability to work or perform simple tasks.
What will be next?
Hitting the wall is not the "big deal".


Seriously concerned for cadmonkeys' well being :(