Let's ask Rainman
 

This is your chance to ask Rainman a question*

*the probability of Rainman giving an answer
depends on the question
the person asking said question
Rainman's availability and desire to answer the question

I will start:

Rainman who was the Chiefs' best draft pick?

This is an excellent idea for a thread. I propose we wait until Rain Man answers each question before another is asked.

Maybe he can hook us up
with a hot date as well

Kevin doesn't work weekends.

Ten Best Draft Picks Ever for the Chiefs

1. Bobby Bell. A Hall of Fame linebacker for a 7th-round pick. Easy choice.

2. Will Shields. A dozen pro bowls for a 3rd-round pick.

3. Willie Lanier. Hall of Fame middle linebacker for a 2nd-round pick.

4. Gary Green. Drafted in the first round, went to multiple pro bowls, was then traded for a first-round pick that was used to draft John Alt, who went to more pro bowls.

5. Jan Stenerud. Hall of Fame kicker in the 3rd round.

6. Buck Buchanan. 1st round pick for a Hall of Fame defensive tackle? I'll take it.

7. 3rd-round pick, 1997. Used to trade up to get Tony Gonzalez. If not for that use of the draft pick, we would've ended up with Kenard Lang and Greg Clark instead of Tony G.

8. Jack Rudnay. Multiple pro bowls for a 4th-round pick.

9. Tom Condon. 10th round pick for a multi-year starter.

10. Derrick Thomas. Yes, it was a high first-round choice. But what a choice.

Honorable Mention #1: Ryan Leaf, Chargers. Killed that franchise for years.

Honorable Mention #2: Todd Blackledge, Chiefs. Not good from a football standpoint, but it's given us something to talk about for nearly 25 years.

Rainman... why does it hurt when I pee?

ask Frank Zappa but too much birthday fun? :hmmm:

Most likely, you're mixing up your toaster and your toilet. Do the lights go out every time, too?

Oh ****... thanks RM!

I wish that were the case.

Two times or less: Got soap up there from either too vigorous washing, or spanking the monkey in the shower.

three times ro more: Time to head to the clinic for the spelunking swab test and the Pennicillin.

Rainman: How many Tyrannousaurs could Larry Johnson kill in an afternoon?

Clarification request: Are the tyrannosaurs flying F-14s, or are they on foot?

These Tyrannosaurs do not have their pilots licenses yet, so they are on foot.

The answer is 42. What's the question?

Practical answer: 0, because they're extinct.

Theoretical answer: All of them.

Forty to be, or not forty to be, that is the question.

Serious football question:

Herm Edwards: taking this team in the right direction, or is this going to be a continued streak of Kansas City's barely-better-than-mediocrity?

Can you explain why a golf ball has dimples? If dimples reduce drag, why don't we see this surface feature on other aerodynamic shapes like airplane wings? Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.

Herm will return the Chiefs to the Marty era of strong defenses, conservative offenses, and first-round playoff exits.

say it ain't so...Herm should Learn from Marty history.
but if that's what it takes to dump Carl.....so be it.

Dimples exist on golf balls for four reasons.

1. To eliminate confusion between golf balls and ping-pong balls, after dozens of tragic ping-pong career-ending injuries in the late 1930s.

2. To create air turbulence so that air can "bend around" the round shape of the ball. For more aerodynamic shapes such as wings, turbulence is a bad thing, but for flying round shapes, turbulence is a good thing. (My aerospace engineering degree comes in handy for the first time in a decade.)

3. The cute "dimples" name attracts more golfers to the LPGA.

4. To facilitate removal of the golf ball from body orifices in the event of tragic golf course "holes in one" of the wrong type.

Maybe there is an order beyond Carl in the near future. However, what if that order is not at all what we had in mind? Maybe he's anti-Carl, bringing championships and empty seats.

Rain Man, why don't a lot of NCAA scholarship atheletes in football and basketball use them to you know, uh get an education?

Rain Man, what kind of sandwich should I buy this evening at subway?

You need to find a better Sandwich Shop.

Yep, Scrubway is terrible...as plain & boring as the day is long.

thus my dilemma : (

Drats!!! Where is Rainman in your hour of need???

Dont you have a Quizzno's or somethin' around???

So what is the Great Karnak's break schedule.

or to the youngsters. The Shell answer man.

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/105258.html

Hell, just find a Deli.

Mr. Rain Man, sir,

Would it be logical to assume that the Invisible Man is blind, since light rays pass either through or around his retinas, thus rendering the visit to the ladies shower room futile?

Because that might interfere with practice.

The smallest one possible, on your way to a restaurant.

Having dinner with my young attractive housesitter-to-be.

Yes, I do have a Quizno's around.

This would be incorrect, in part because the light is merely being refracted in such a way that you can't see a shark that's two feet below the surface of water, but it can see you, and in part because such a finding would render useless my decades of research into invisibility.

I've been invisible for years. Nobody has ever questioned it.

Why do the Raiders suck?

Why do my kids look like the neighbor .....

What ever happened to former Mavs Roy Tarpley and Fat Lever? Also, do you recall a TV ad from the early 80's starring Reggie Theus? He did some fancy dribbling and explained that you can't do that while on drugs.

What's up with the Black Sabbath featuring Tony Iommi album? Seriously.

I'd answser, but I'm not about to step on Kevin's toes.

He's very particlular about his carpeting...

To maintain AFC West equilibrium with the Broncos, who blow.

Rainman:

This is weird: I have noticed over the last few months that every day at around 10AM, I sneeze.

There is never a day that I don't sneeze.

Here is where it gets really weird...Daylight Savings kicked in...and now I sneeze every day at around 11 AM.

It's not like I know it is always coming...I actually forget everday until I actually sneeze. That's when I look at the clock.

Why does this happen, Rainman?

I think balls has a non-sexual male crush on rain man, yeesh

Cool. Its like CSI Miami to the CSI-askIowanian Las vegas.

Heh, or TYR :shake:

Rainman

Are the "Mattress Police" real or just a made up entity to scare women and children and give Fletch an extra scene in the movie?

Have any good stock tips for us, Mr. Rain Man?

mr. rainman, what is the proability of tynes attempting 50+ field goals this coming season?

Hmm, this is an interesting one. Since your sneezing changes with daylight savings time, it would appear that it's not linked to time of day, but rather your internal clock. My initial guess is that it's an evolutionary trait developed by one of your ancestors who worked a 10 to 6 shift on a pepper schooner for the Dutch East Indies Company.

Yeah. My thread has bikinis.

http://www.21-casino-gokken-spelen.nl/1/43.jpg

LMAO That makes more sense than anything I could come up with.

Mattress police exist as a dedicated force only the states of Utah and Alabama, and in the City of Hot Springs, Arkansas. In the latter case, they were created to deal with a massive black market problem more than ripped-off tags.

Stock?

Due to genetic research, sheep will apparently soon be able to do low-level office work. That can only mean a massive price increase. Buy now.

100 minus his likelihood of being injured.

Nah, he's just friendly because I procure prostitutes for him.

I know the answer, but love the Zen of the question.


Rainman - how do you get Teflon to stick to a pan?

Lick it when it's really hot.

How much would you give for a quality, used apricot colored bike?

Rain Man,

Are the Broncos the best team of all time in the AFC West since the merger?

*

Rain Man, what are the only questions that you would refuse to answer within this thread?

Rain Man, if you could have any great novelist that ever lived to write your biography, who would it be?

A taser shot and a call to 911.

I currently rank them sixth, but that's only because Tampa Bay was in the division for a year.

RainMan, sir.

What is the nature of God?

I guess I should flesh that out a little, but I was giving you the all-knowing benefit of the doubt.

Possibles:
God has a strict plan which is predetermined. We are living out his screenplay.
God created the universe and the Laws of Nature. He tinkers with it constantly, rewarding the faithful, interceding on their behalf.
God created the universe and the Laws of Nature, but is hands-off. We create our own futures. He rewards those who live a godly life.
God created everything and left. We are on our own.
God is nonexistent.
God is very much like yourself.

Questions referring to Apollo 9, dairy subsidies, subatomic particles, transmission gear ratio, any materials that are excreted from beneath the waist, animal abuse, Anna Nicole Smith, Nerf products, diseases of the eye, children's underwear (including "pullups" and diapers), the Datsun B210, licorice, or tax accounting will not be considered.

Rainman, why am I so damn cool?

Jack Kerouac, because not only would he make me sound cool, he would use great language doing it.

You know those little kids who'll take a red ant and a black ant and rub their heads together until they start fighting, and then waits for the winner with a magnifying glass in their hand?

Sandals AFTER Labor Day. AFTER.

Sandals?

Shoes with intentional holes in them.

Rainman,
Maybe you can finally answer this for me. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Am I asking that correctly? Please respond.
Thanks.

Thank you Mr. Rain Man. I would have never thought of it like that.

In the U.S., labor laws limit the woodchuck to 0.44 cords per day. In Malaysia, generally deemed to the be the worst violator of woodchuck labor laws, woodchucks routinely chuck up to 1.5 cords per day. The wood is then converted to athletic shoes by giant armies of preteen children.

Yes.

You are truely awesome.

Rainman,
Why did you chose not to answer my previous questions? I thought they were Rainworthy.