I've got some news!!!
 

Just found out that Mrs. Gonzo has a bun in the oven.
It will be our first. We have been together for almost 14 years and we just started trying about 2 months ago.
:)

Congrats.

That's great news, indeed, Mr. Gonzo. Congratulations to both you and Mrs. Gonzo.

But ... uhhh ... have you had her tied up in the basement or something?

FAX

How did that happen?

Craptastic!

Nah, there's something to be said for the "Pull out" method Mr. Fax.

nice

Well...When a man and a woman want to giggity, you know what? If you don't know I ain't sayin.

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Gonzo. There is no greater joy in life.

Thank you RJ.
We are very excited.

Don't get me wrong, Mr. Gonzo. I'm sincerely and authentically happy for you.

But, 14 years? It's none of my business, but that's a long time to wait.

FAX

Congrats, but I'm still trying to figure out the way to not accidentally impregnate someone twice in a 14 year time span.

Congratulations, assuming of course that Travis Henry hasn't played a game in your town this fall.

Well Fax, Mrs. Gonzo and I have worked our way up from near poverty to an extremely comfortable lifestyle. We met on a blind date when we were both in our mid-teens. She is 29 and I'm 31 now and we felt as though it was finally time. She and I were wise beyond our years.

Thank you for your good wishes!!!

Wait a minute...PISS!!!!!

ROFL

You guys are a whole lot smarter than most the nation. Congratulations on your accomplishment but mostly on your decision to do it the right way. I hope everything turns out just the way you wanted it.

Well, I'll be wrapped in bacon and fried to a golden crisp. My esteem for you has increased a thousand fold, Mr. Gonzo. I love it when things work out for people whose priorities are straight.

Here's to a healthy child, a long life, and a brief labor. Just remember to breathe.

FAX

You mean the "Banker method"

Withdraw and deposit:clap:

oh yeah congrats, being a dad is fun

Congrats!!

Thanks Fax!!!
Not to make this all mushy but I appreciate all the nice comments.

He shoots. He scores!!!! Congrats!!!!

Muchos congratiationas!

That's great and good for you guys to wait until you were ready.

Congrats!

Yeah, congrats. Hope everything goes well for your family.

Fantastic. May it be the first of many.

Congrats!

you just now started having sex?

Congrats...

well she's safe now. :hump:

Hey, Gonzo, don't worry, we'll find out who did it.

It was that other guy from Omaha!

His wife is having Warren Buffett's baby? That's got to be good for some cash.

Congrats man !

Congratulations, my first is due any day now. Let me help you out with some lessons I've recently learned. First and foremost, pregnant women are crazy. My wife is not a crazy person, she did however become one from time to time during the pregnancy. Here are a couple of my chronicles if you will; they are a great example of what NOT to do.

Example 1:
Example 2:

Congrats. They are little gifts from God. Never forget that. ;)

congrats! good job staying together for 14 years before having kids! that seems like a rarity these days, obviously you are 2 are not married because of kids but are having kids because you're married!

This man speaks the truth. My suggestion is to walk lightly, keep your head down, and don't make conversation or even eye contact for the next 9 months. :)

dang man you stole my response ;)

Seriously though, congrats. And, you're wife might have hormone issues from time to time, but it's not that bad with a little patience.

Our second one is due Feb. 1st and my wife has been great. For her sake though, I'm looking forward to the pregnancy being over with. It sucks to see them with the aches, pains, etc.

ROFL

My wife's like that once a month naturally....

I'm SCREWED!!!!111!!!!11!!!11

I've seen one couple turn it into a joke-thing. Like she'll lose it for a few seconds and the guy will say "You're being pregnant again." And she'll stop, think and her mood swung right back up. :shrug: it'd be worth a try.

Congratulations

Yeah, I've got to be super careful. I taught the wife how to shoot a 12 gauge.

ROFL

This thread could be related to this thread: http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=174495

WTF????

You're welcome.

Gonzo Jr. is on the way. Congrats and good luck.

Congrats

congrats!

14 years? Hell I gave my son-in law 2 1/2 years befoer I threatened to put an add in the paper to put more men on the job. :D

Also: look out for the schwann's guy that SOB is everywhere

great news - your life is about to change in ways you cannot even imagine.

Congratulations! Everything is about to change in your house, enjoy!

Congratulations. :toast:

And better you than me. :thumb:

Update
 

Well,
I've decided to keep you all aprised of the whole pregnancy situation.

Figured I'd do a bit of an online journal and share my "expieriences" with you all.

_____________________________________________________________

11/23/07

It's official, went to the Doc, Mrs. Gonzo is 6 weeks along. She's already starting to show a bit and her rack is killing her. She's a bit moody, especially since she quit smoking, (2 packs a day).

I try to support her and be there when she has her "moments" but my sub-par attempts at cosolation seem to fall upon deaf ears, Mrs. Gonzo has some guns on her from football and she used to kick box....I'm watching my ass.


11/27/07

She's either twitchy or horny, that's cool and all but I'm tired, I can't help but take on some of her duties around the house like laundry and dishes. I've always been the cook, Mrs. Gonzo can't cook all that well and she's eating like a horse already. I figured this wouldn't start for another month or two but apparently not. She's up to 120 lbs. now, gained 4 already, I think most of which is in her boobs. That kicks ass.

11/28/07
Hormones, man what a pain in the ass. One minute everything is all good, the next minute I have a table knife to my throat. Now I know what Bill Lundberg was talking about in this thread. Dark days ahead captain!!!

Just have as much sex as possible before that femsphincter is destroyed.

This might be the best advice GOTATSE has ever given.

Trust me, he's not kidding.

On the bright side, once they get to about 3 years old they are a blast.

DT

congratulations.

You don't know true love, until you're changing the diaper of a newborn and realize you've stuck your hand under an oatmeal crapping arse to catch it to keep it off the blanket....and don't care.

just wait for the hormone fun the 2 months AFTER the birth, when she's up every 3 hours, afraid she doesn't know what to do....good times await my friends.

#2, st pats, 08

Over the last couple years I've learned a few things...

1. Don't piss against the wind.

2. Don't try to shove anything up a Panther's ass.

3. GOATSE is a good guy but don't take any advice from him concerning pie, (unless it's blueberry).

congrats!!!

I couldn't agree with Mr. Lundberg more. After 4 children, my advice is:

Early pregnancy (months 1-3)
1. Compliment her appearance - cloths, looks, hair, etc.
2. Tell her how excited you are that she is pregnant with your child.
3. Talk to her about all the fun things you are looking forward to with said child.
4. Take a few things off her plate - errands, cooking, etc.

Mid Pregnancy (months 4-6)
1. Enjoy the horny express.
2. Compliment her ever changing body.
3. Stay out of the way.

Late pregnancy (months 7-9)
1. Do not make eye contact.
2. Do not speak to her unless spoken to first.
3. Do not - UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE - roll her on to her back and watch her try to get up.....all the while laughing at her and saying she looks like a turtle. Bad things happen.
4. Do not dangle food in front of her and then run away. If she can catch you, you are liable to lose an arm.
5. Do not make references to the Marshmallow Man.

The best option for you is to simply avoid her at all costs during the last 3 months.

PS....Congrats!

ROFL ROFL

Now that's good advice!

I cannot stress the turtle one enough.

12/13/07

8 weeks in and the "Horny Express" has arrived. The hormones have calmed a bit and it looks as though she may be one of the lucky few to not have morning sickness. Mrs. Gonzo is starting to show a bit and it looks as though I will be one of those sorry bastards holding her purse in the dept. store while she tries on clothes.

We went out to eat at a grease trap restaurant today and she has a healthy appetite. On Tuesday we are going to her second doctors appointment where he will look under the hood and check her oil. Hopefully we will get to hear the heartbeat.

The funbags have gone up another half size as well, that's pretty cool but they are sensitive. She never lets me play "motorboat" anymore...
People keep saying that she is showing more than she should this early so they keep throwing the "Twins" possibility at me. Hopefully those people don't press charges.

Nice update, congrats man

Very cool, congrats bud.

Congrats big Chief!! that's exciting.

You're still a few months away from the "nesting" phase. Enjoy the hell out of that.

You've no idea what awaits you. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid...

Congrats, good work. :thumb:

3-14-08

Well,
It's official, the wife and I are having a boy. After many bouts of Hormone-Induced conniption fits, either getting laid, or getting shit thrown at me we finally know what's going on under the proverbial hood.

I'm very excited....I was really hoping for a boy. A girl would have been o.k. though. "As long as it's healthy."

He has a huge schlong too, so I know he takes after his old man. (Giggity)

well thanks, but this is no time to talk about me.
sec

You are NOT pinning this on me.

Nice...ROFL

jeeze...could be a litter of puppies.
sec

Many congrats Gonzo :clap::clap::clap:.

Congrats man!

Thanks Guys.

Psst! Mr. Gonzo, that's the umbilical cord.

Congrats!!!!

My wife is due in Spetember. We had always thought we didn't want to know the sex of the baby, but as we get further into this we are rethinking that. What went into your decision to find out?