Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
 

Hemied, that you?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph...-1_672784n.jpg

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...,000-cars.html

Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.

His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days.

Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US, kept quiet about his secret fetish for years, but agreed to be interviewed as part of a channel Five documentary into “mechaphilia”. He is shown meeting other enthusiasts at a rally in California

Talking about how his unusual passion developed, Mr Smith said: "It's something that grew as a part of me when I was a kid and I could not shake it.

"I just loved cute cars right from the beginning, but over the years it got stronger once I got into my teenage years and was my first having sexual urges.

"When I turned 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it.

"I didn't fully understand it myself except that I know I'm not hurting anyone and I do not intend to."

He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.

"There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.

"As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay.”

Mr Smith is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums.

I'm going to regret asking.

But how does one have sex with a car?

Where does he put it?

My Father just can't stay out of the news.

That would be TMI!

I think we're all going to regret that you asked.

Tailpipe??

Poke her in the rear.

LMAO

"I swear officer, it needed lovin'."

Maybe Dodgie style? Or Model A-nal?

We can pretty much be sure that it's not by letting the car be on top.

This guy is a huge fan of trannies.

Eh, oddly enoughrecently, we were in a resturaunt waiting for a table and were looking through their gift shop. There was this little plaque with odd OK laws. One of which was in our very town it is illegal to molest an automobile. I saw that and told the wife and the friends we were with that it wouldn't be a law if someone hadn't done it.

:shake:

I wonder if that guy views sex with a bicycle as pedophilia.

LMAO


I wonder how many people here you'll have to explain that too.




I'll bet he takes bikes from around the downtown Denver area, loves them then leaves them wherever he is when he's through with them.

No, I'd think it would be sex with those kiddie cars you get in the toy department.

http://images.google.com/url?q=http:...tMb5A-6wTNZLkQ

Or perhaps matchbox cars.

Maybe he is just into the head-


ers.

1 horsepower is enough to kill
this guy's on a suicide mission

Now that's a new take on autoeroticism.

So when he sees that commercial where the woman asks,"When you turn on your car, does it return the favor?" He can honestly answer, "Yes!!"

I AM MERC LOVIN'!!

That's that commercial that talks about the kansas city good bye.

ROFL

this thread has the potential for greatness...

I know this isn't the first place this has been said, but I wonder if a car takes it up the tailpipe...

is the intake valve properly lubed?

built for speed!

that car sure is curvy!

slippery when wet!..


alright, that's enough. wait, one more...

cars make his engine rev!!

There once was a strange man who felt
Amore for cars that were svelt
Then came the day
When love went astray
And his sack got caught in a fan belt

FAX

I'd pee in a Ferrari's butt...

OMG there are 500 of these freaks.

By the way, does the car need to be 18 years old to be considered legal?

I don't even want to think about what he'd do with a Hummer.

Or for that matter, a Ford Probe.

They will all die of STPs

I must admit that I'm somewhat shamefully curious about the MG Midget, though.

I'm not a big fan of the Ford Probe, Mr. Rain Man.

I prefer the Mitsubishi Fellatio.

FAX

Maybe you don't really love the MG Midget, Mr. Rain Man. It could be that you just enjoy the Chrysler Conquest.

FAX

So, he's attracted to 'cute' cars. I'm assuming small cars are cute to him.

I wonder if he's ever molested bigger trucks...or if they're just too butch for him.

"Oh my thilly little Ranger Splash is all I ever need, that F-250 is just too much man!!!"

Gives new meaning to "Le Car".

but does he turn their cranks

http://new.music.yahoo.com/videos/--50828023

Queen
I'm In Love With My Car
Written by Roger Taylor

The machine of a dream, such a clean machine
With the pistons a pumpin', and the hubcaps all gleam
When I'm holding your wheel
All I hear is your gear
With my hand on your grease gun
Mmm it's like a disease son
I'm in love with my car, gotta feel for my automobile
Get a grip on my boy racer rollbar
Such a thrill when your radials squeal

Told my girl I'll have to forget her
Rather buy me a new carburetor
So she made tracks saying this is the end now
Cars don't talk back they're just four wheeled friends now

When I'm holding your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When I'm cruisin' in overdrive
Don't have to listen to no run of the mill talk jive

I'm in love with my car, gotta feel for my automobile
I'm in love with my car, string back gloves in my automolove

I really dont know what to make of this article..... some of the things people do these days is just out there...........

This gentleman needs to seek professional help.

He has. He said that he's "had" cars on the showroom floor.....



"Excuse me, sir. That's really not what I meant about taking her for a 'test drive'."

Just shocked that nobody posted this yet.

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"Fill 'er Up" LMAO

A construction worker named Doug
Enjoyed giving cars the love hug
But he let manners slide
When he said to his ride
"Hey Baby! C'mon show us your plugs!"

FAX

I think you were going for, pedalphilia?

Every time I've been screwed by a car it was in the dealership financing office.

he's the Wilt Chamberlain of car ****ing....

he must be exhausted

ROFL

Be careful shifting gears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you get tired of their shit
just take them out and roll 'em in a ditch

Seriously, though...
If we are talking about 5-speeds, here, it's not a given that this guy was the "man" in this scenario.

A British man's lifelong ambition
Was to have hot sex with a transmission
So he made a date
And it was all going great
Until someone turned on the ignition

FAX