Speech help
 

I have to give a 4-5 minute speech about a valuable life experience on monday. Aside from banging chicks I've had zero life changing experiences. I need a good idea or maybe someone has a cool story they wanna share.

Interestingly enough....I've giving 2, tomorrow.

I saw a video clip in another thread this week that is very relevant. Its about the "one up guy" and the comedian does a bit about an astronaut that has walked on the moooon.
It was hilarious. Props to whomever posted that.

My meager attempt, is being followed up by an astronaut, that spent a year on the space station.

I have no chance at success.


Here it is.
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I was on death row for seven years until new DNA techniques showed that I didn't kill that woman. It taught me to never lose faith, and that even the most advanced DNA techniques can be wrong.

So this one time I was in bed with three sisters when one sister passed out. Immediately after the other two had thoroughly enjoyed themselves - twice and I had finished we rushed her to the hospital just in time to ward off a brain aneurysm.

The end. That was 25 minutes but maybe you could shorten it for your own purposes.

Noun + verb + 9/11 works for some people :D

that'll do

You could share about the two years you spent here at the Planet and how the time spent here has impacted and/or changed your life.


Or, you could cut to the chase and give a speech about the affects of anti-freeze on just about any living thing that needs "taken care of".

Or possibly about the time you were interveiwed by a news reporter...

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Do a speech about gochief's struggle to pop his cherry.

No one would believe a guy could be that pathetic.

What's it for? What's your audience?

do a speech about plans to go "transgendered" I hear it's all the rage these days ask UP.

Do a speech about how giving the speech has changed your life. The metaspeech angle is sure to get your teacher's rocks off.

Talk about how it is to be a USC fan and a Chiefs fan. Talk about the differences and how USC winning national championships was a life changing thing.

Well, we have to end apartheid, for one,
slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger.
We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless...
and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights,
while also promoting equal rights for women.
We have to encourage a return...
to traditional moral values.
Most importantly,
we have to promote general social concern...
and less materialism in young people.

Unless the rubric specifically forbids it, you might give your speech about your lack of valuable experiences. Take a sort of confused, self-deprecating, humorous, but hopeful tone that looks to the future. Start out with your "hook" being about the "typical" speeches that people are going to give: finding Jesus, parent's divorce, summer camp, joining the military, graduating high school, etc... then move into how those don't really apply to you. Then go into a spiel about how your life is sort of pathetic and boring and entirely too typical of young Americans of this generation. Then move into a look to the future where you basically beg for life changing experience and hope that you'll grow into someone who has actually had an experience worth talking about. Speech done.

If you can't fill a 4 minute freakin' speech with some random garbage, you deserve the advice you get from The Planet.

Gimme a friggen break.

LMAO

You could always fall back and tell them about the time you thought you had the clap and the test they ran on you at the free clinic with the wire brush.

you didn't say anything about it having to be about you
tell how life changed for a squirrel after your ran over it and ended it's life
the gross out factor may make the speech fell longer than it is -score

This one time, at band camp...

I lucked out a little. jane Jettson wasn't exactly a motivational speaker.

Maybe you can talk about your social anxiety disorder and how you thought you had it under control, but then you got an assignment to speak in front of a bunch of people and it plunged you into a dark well of fear and despair that has led to thoughts of suicide and possibly murder.

wear white cotton pants. eat enough hot sauce to make yourself sweaty, and then do a faux-enactment of what its like to give yourself an enema, wear white pants and try to finish 5 minutes of public speaking and not lose your....senses.

for audience participation, pass out some recorders and issue a $10 challenge to find the brown note.