Children's books and Crime
 

I've spent a good number of hours reading to my kids over the past 3 years. Many of the books I'm reading, often nightly are the same stories I heard when I was young. My favorite as a little boy was "the jolly barnyard", the story of animals planning a party for farmer brown's birthday.


Anyway, I've had an epiphany while reading recently. Most of these books and stories...read any of the little golden books, contain crime.

Ex.
The 3 Bears.
Goldilocks is walking in the woods, sees a house, knocks on the door. No one answers, so she decides to go in. Breaking and Entering. She sits in the chairs, breaks the wee little chair to bits...destruction of property. She eats baby bear's food.....burglary. I'm sure in today's environment, being found sleeping in a child's bed as she was in baby bear's bed would lead to a sex offender list.

Don't even get me started on the 3 little pigs. Its got strong arm robbery, destruction of property, breaking and entering, premeditated murder....but also brings up a social issue of using deadly force to defend your home.


So. Your challenge is to give the cliff notes of a children's book or fable, and list as many crimes committed in that story as you can.

Crime dog fred mcgriff

ROFL

A little off topic, but I'm amazed how many of the Disney flicks involve death, or start off with characters dying.

Hansel and Gretel should be a good 'un.

My favorite book as a child was Helter Skelter. I don't know where to start.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Breaking and Entering, Grand Larceny, Cruelty to animals, Perjury,

green eggs and ham:
stalking
harassment

sam i am could use a swift kick to the nutsack.
sec

The Pied Piper is about a guy who abducts a whole village of children after someone refuses to pay him what he's owed.

We have quite a few crimes here:
By the mayor:
Breach of contract (

By the Piper
Kidnapping
Extortion

If you think that is bad, wait until rainman dissects Little Red Riding Hood.

Why shouldn't children's stories have a little bit of salacious content in them? I mean, seriously, how many stories can you read about the dog that loved everyone before you accept the prospect of your child being illiterate? :)

Conflict is the crux of storytelling. Without something happening, there is no story. I would be a lot more impressed to hear of some bestselling books with no conflict or crime in them.

Don't even get me started on "the pokey Puppy". They dig under the fence, destroying property, they're out past curfew, tell lies, and steal food.

Little Red Riding Hood

Child endangerment, Solicitation of a minor, Assault & Battery, Kidnapping, Vigilante Justice, Animal Cruelty

I'm just glad some of these stories and fables told today are watered down versions of the originals. Have any of you read the actual Grimm's fairytales. :eek: Would give my kids nightmares.

Maybe you could give examples of some items that have been changed from the originals to today.

Examples men...examples!

My daughter reads Lemony Snickets: An Unfortunate Series of Events. The things that continue to happen to these children, i'm surprised shes not a little more scared of things.

cow them with fear

Goodnight Moon had to be a drug induced auther.

The Tale of Peter Rabbit

Murder (or perhaps involuntary manslaughter), trespassing, robbery, attempted murder

Goodnight nobody..good night mush.

Its one I have memorized.


After 3 readings, my 3 year old knows them by word and will call me on it if I skip, change or mis-speak a word on piles of these books. The good thing, she can "read" them to her sister evne though she can't really read yet.

I loved the book Little Witch when I was a child. Thinking about it now there was child abuse, child neglect and I don't know what crime it would be for turning people into flower pots but surely this is unacceptable.

Yeah. I loved reading that book to my kids. Probably my favorite. They made me read it over and over to them.

Check this out: http://www.nationalgeographic.com/grimm/index2.html

ROFL

Tonight's schedule included Jack and the beanstalk.

What a horde of debauchery that book turns out to be. Jack lies to his mother, takes advantage of a disenfranchised Katrina evacuee by trading him a dried up gummer cow for those magic beans. Jack then is disrespectful to his mother, breaks into the Giants castle in the sky, steals from him.(breaking and entering, burglary in the 1st degree). He returns, midnight-vulva's the Golden goose...engages in manufacture of counterfit money and racketeering with his mother....goes BACK again, steals the golden magic harp, which I can only assume he also sexually assaults at some point.....and then ends up killing the giant with an axe, that I can only assume would have lead to at least manslaughter charges.

And we think TV and Video games are bad for kids? A Children's library could turn my angels into mini-Tony Sopranos.

The show about nothing?

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garbage Out:

Massive health code violations.

Destruction of property.

Zoning law violations.

Creating a public nuisance.

Garbage Skyscraper without aircraft warning lights.

Countless violations of EPA statutes.

Child Negligence
(SCSS should have been made to take the garbage out. Failing that, the parents should have removed the garbage in the interest of family health, while severely punishing SCSS.)

Code Violations? Child Neglect?!!!


Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout obviously is fortunate that she doesn't live in the squallor of the Old lady who Lived in a Shoe.

LMAO

I think she'd give the Old Lady a run for her money. SCSS's massive garbage pile forced all the neighbors to move away. Remember the "bad apartments" thread in the pic forum a while back? That, on crack. At one point, it stretched across the US. :eek:

Then there's those dastardly Rats of NIMH. Breaking and entry of a federal facility, for openers.

The Cat in the Hat.

Freaking six foot tall predator in a cat suit shows up when mom is out - where the hell is dad? - and tries to talk the kids into doing naughty things. The only guidance the children have is a goldfish and their own barely formed sense of right and wrong.

When the situation gets out of control the Cat in the hat goes Pulp Fiction and brings in the cleaners. Harvey Keitel's got nothing on Thing 1 and Thing 2. They put the house back in order and destroy the evidence, just before Mom walks in the door. The Cat coolly disappears ( think Keyser Soze) and the kids never let on that anything happened.

Tell me, which part of this story is a good lesson for our children?

The kids got away with it? :p

"Cowboy Sam" rocked !

this was the one I was trying to dissect and thought...nope, no crime in this one...

Where the Wild Things Are: not much crime in that one either, right? Or am I remembering it wrong?

The Sandra Boynton books are goofy as hell, but I can't find much in them that would make a good "murder she wrote" episode.


everybody ready for a barnyard dance....

Let's not even get started on Pinnochio.

Lying little bastard...

Yet the pokey little puppy gets over -- twice he gets dessert all to himself, and only once is he caught or punished. In fact, the message I get out of it is, "If you're lazy, you'll wind benefiting from it two out of three times!"

Other than that, The Boy reads a lot of books centered on the movie Cars, (which contains excessive speeding, reckless driving, false imprisonment, trespassing and harassment) or the Backyardigans (who do lots of jobs in violation of child labor laws).

The others have already been mentioned (Cat in the Hat, etc.)

MM
~~:)