Chiefs Fan Diseases
 

From a poster on WPI....who got it off of Arrowhead Addict.

Attention to Quarterback Deficit Disorder - This one is rather easy to define, and is classified by a chronic state of denial when it comes to quarterback being the undisputed most important position in the NFL. These victims will often state that you can’t have a quarterback until you have a dominant line, not realizing that a race car is just a worthless hunk of parts without a great driver behind the wheel.

Bob Gretz Syndrome - A cerebral state of rampant homerism that has spiraled out of control. Most of the time, the victim doesn’t even realize that the rose-colored glasses are permanently strapped to their face. While the enthusiasm is nice to see, the tangents of those struggling with BGS can get rather annoying.

Bradyomania - Typically associated with those in Chiefs Nation who are experiencing frequent hallucinations about the Chiefs finding a franchise quarterback in the seventh round, or even Tyler Thigpen turning out to be that guy. This is a harmless condition, but it can have quite an effect on one’s social status if these hallucinations become public, as the victim can become isolated.

(Aaron) Curry Fever - An obsessive-compulsive disorder that typically goes hand in hand with memory loss. Those with Curry Fever often forget that in the past 20 years only three linebackers have been selected in the top three — Kevin Hardy, LaVar Arrington and Quentin Coryatt. Somehow those stricken with Curry Fever fail to remember that all three of these players have to be considered draft busts. They refuse to realize that LBs who can’t rush the passer and are picked in the top five have not fared well. Curry Fever victims also like to compare Curry to pass rushers like Derrick Thomas (picked fourth in ‘89) and Lawrence Taylor (taken second a half-century ago), even though he’s not a pass rusher (9.5 sacks in four years of college). If when approached about this fact someone responds, “yeah, but this year is different,” seek clinical care for them immediately — they definitely have a strong case of Curry Fever.

Hermitis - A chemical imbalance in the brain that leads its victims to believe that NFL rebuilding efforts take 3-4 years, or as long as college rebuilding efforts. Hermaphobia was most recently disproved by the Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens and Miami Dolphins, all in 2008.

King Carl’s Disease - A deranged mental state where the victim becomes obsessed with bargain hunting and duct tape-repair jobs. Every move is made with the intent to stay over .500, fill the seats and muzzle Chiefs Nation and the media. Unfortunately, some Chiefs fans have become KGD victims themselves. Some phrases that are commonly associated with this mental condition: “free agency is a waste of money,” “build through the draft — not free agency” and “first-round quarterbacks are too risky.” Anxiety over any aggressive front office move — especially spending! — is a common symptom.

Martyballism - This is similar to dementia, but only with Chiefs football. Some Chiefs fans have the tendency to remember the Martyball era in a more favorable light than they should. These fans are typically the same ones who think a dominant defense and caretaker quarterback are the only path to the Super Bowl. How quickly they forget that the only year Martyball made the AFC Championship, the Chiefs were led to that game by Joe Montana.

Vermeilaphobia - This paranoid frame of mind is almost always found in those also dealing with a strong case of Martyballism. Those suffering with Vermielaphobia tend to think that great offenses cannot make or win Super Bowls, when history clearly proves that viewpoint wrong. These victims also think any team that focuses more on offense will always just completely ignore the defensive side of the ball. Possibly the most irrational affliction currently diagnosed among Chiefs fans. One theory is that victims just prefer “meat and potatoes” football, and would rather win ugly in low-scoring affairs than in shootouts. Most rational fans just want to win in the fashion best suited for their favorite team, whether it be with defense, offense or, preferably, both.

ROFL

LMAO Pure awesomeness.

They left out reerunica. They constant need to call people reeruns.
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If you don't want to know you have the clap, don't go to the doctor.
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awesome post, I tried to rep but I got this.

awesome article!

ROFL

ROFL:fire:

Keep it away...

nice..... that's really good.

just to be argumentative, you still have a case reachism where you are prone to select a player based on need, higher than they should be picked. Sanchez is not worth the #3 pick.

Arent you advocating taking a cover OLB with the #3 pick?

Wow! This thread made it all the way to the 10th post before it disintegrated into "Sanchez is not worth the #3 pick." Clearly you are infected with some of the above maladies. But there is hope my friend, there is hope.

They left out Pioliosis. An acute inflammation of the penis whenever Scott Pioli's name is mentioned. Victims exhibit uninhibited adoration and a tendency to become violent when Pioli's judgment is questioned. Advanced cases are known to trust the Chiefs' GM alone with their wife, children, and new car.

FAX

ROFL

Awesome!

ROFL

Very funny. Also remarkably quiet in here.

They also left out when people have a Stafford infection.

This is when people get the idea in their head that an ok college quarterback is the second coming of John Elway and the idea grows and swells until just the idea that the local team might not draft him makes the person discharge green mucus out their orifices
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'

:shake:

Not even remotely close to being funny or accurate.... Good try though...

I love how a guy that is universally thought of as a better prospect than Jay Cutler and Matt Ryan is just an "OK" QB.

Univerally? Talk about a reach.
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They are all pretty funny. Even PZs.

I have one.

Constipational blindness:

It's when a person has thier head so far up Mark Sanchez's ass they cant see anything else.
The 1st step to recovery is to admit you have a problem.

Well, I'm also surprised they didn't include Gunthermia.

Gunthermia: Most often affects linebackers. Symptoms include suddenly freezing in place at the snap of the ball, confusion, and loss of stats.

FAX

Oh Oh can i do it please :)

Kill yourself!

Football: A disease Samie Parker never has to worry about catching.

FAX

I suffer from Grbacitis. Whenever I get in a high-pressure situation, I instantly fall to the floor and curl up into a ball.

...snap... Best one IMO.

Also commonly known as Huarditis.

Thiggitis-feelings of grandeur
self proclaimed NFL starting QB status
have sex with a skeleton and think it's tight

Curlera: A syndrome first described in 2000 causing persistent bafflement, mystification, and perplexity in its victims. The exact cause remains unknown although more recent research indicates that the condition worsens when observing an individual being paid astronomical sums for doing absolutely nothing.

FAX

True Fanism is yet to be defined

Brodiephilia

To hurt oneself repeatedly
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LinEllitoism: When someone fucks up so much, they remove any and all reason for them to live ever again.

Its common for people with this disease to try and hang themselves. However most cases end safely, as they usually don't have the fucking accuracy to kick the stool out from under them.

People with this condition should not come in contact with Ryan Sims, as this may cause an unsafe increase in blood pressure.

Larryola. The urge to piss women off in nightclubs
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Johnson's Typhus: Manifests itself in constant spitting, crying, and a compelling urge to jam one's head up a large man's ass.

FAX

Gonzo's Pox: Presents as an uncontrollable desire to win a playoff game.

FAX

Link? I am open minded but better than?

Meccasexual

The biological attraction of a poster to be sexually attracted to any point of view expressed by Mecca
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Hermo-Verbo-Phemia. Sufferers complain of constant, nonsensical jabbering, total loss of language skills, and an unexplained attraction to microphones.

FAX

Scott Wright ranked them this way:

Stafford
Cutler
Ryan
Sanchez
Flacco

Kiper made the comment before the combine on ESPN.

It's actually pretty obvious if you know what you're looking for.

You know, I almost started a poll the other day (I came "this" close) on the subject of comparing Stafford and Sanchez to Cutler.

It would have been very helpful to me because I haven't seen much of Sanchez and very little of Stafford (I was far too occupied last year to watch college football). I have, however, seen a lot of Cutler.

Knowing how these guys compare to him would be extremely useful in terms of arm strength, accuracy, headiness, etc..

FAX

I am all for Stafford but not anyone after for QB. At any cost attitude. That is BPA also. Last year was the dumb asses saying we need to reach beyond the BPA, Now this year it is not BPA and needs? But I thought we are still rebuilding?
Just IMO.

Kiperticulitis. Being wrong all the time.
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Al Davisness -rigor mortis

Hamasosomiasis. When you kill yourself over nothing, really.

FAX

Do you remember the 350 post thread about the symptoms of TFS not two months ago?

:clap::clap::clap::clap:

ROFL

that's great!

Stafford has Cutler's arm or maybe better. But he was not the player that Cutler was in college. I watched Cutler a lot and Stafford is not Cutler. But he does have that kind of ability. Cutler could throw off his back foot as well as any college QB that I have seen in a long time. I think Cutler was much more consistent than Stafford and also had better games against elite competition with less of a surrounding cast. Vandy only won 5 games his senior year.

Stafford seems to have the physical abilities or even better of Cutler, but is not as good as he was with his consistency and overall level of play.

Nick the Sickness: A choking sensation under stress. Symptoms include the sprouting of a cheezy moustache and irresistable desires to slap a ball boy.

Huardtardation: Dizzyness, wobbliness, desire to hide on a bench with a towel over one's head.

Elliosys: Advanced case of Nick the Sickness. Becomes a fatal condition in extremely cold weather.

Barnett's Disease: Mental condition where one feel overwhelming urge to flash a hotel maid.

Risonisis: Manifests in a compulsion to steal audio equipment, imitate imaginary superheroes and marry a pyromaniac.

Kendrell Bell Syndrome: Acute kleptomania, lack of remorse for outright theft.

Boomeritis: Also know as "Wingman's Disease." Accompanied by jaundice, linked to "second banana" yellowing.