This sucks at 58
 

I normally don't post on here,but damn I need to vent. I have (had) been married to the same woman for over 35 years. Never a major problem in our relationship. Five weeks ago she informs me she wants a divorce as she has met someone and wants something different in her life.

I worked 25 years for Williams Energy, we put two daughters through college and helped them, as we could, get established in life.

So,today was a meeting between the lawyers and I find out I will have to give her the house (paid for ) a car (new) and 1/2 of my pension,savings, and investments. Now all of that was ours 50/50 any way and she did her part in the marriage. Not only does it hurt like hell but now it looks like at 58 I have to start all over again.

Sorry for spelling or grammer but right now I don't care my heart is broken and soon to be homeless (STARTING OVER AT 58 )

Sucks, man. Sorry to hear it.

You don't HAVE to give anyone anything.

Dude, sorry to hear about that man.

Yep, gotta agree, that sucks. Feel free to vent all you want, you deserve it.

Her getting the house makes things not so 50/50.

How do the daughters feel about this?

Best of luck to you, Monk.

**** man. That is terrible! Something needs to be done about these divorce laws. I take it your wife is not employed?

I would have pushed for the house to be sold and the money split down the middle.

dam sorry about that man, it sounds like you got a raw deal

Always stayed home and raised the girls

Your wife is a ****in **** by the way. If she is going to split from you and has already met someone else, she should have just walked away and let you keep most everything.

That's why then.

They give housewives everything.

Get a different lawyer should be a 50/50 split or so I"m told going through same shit,26years.

Wow. Sorry to hear about your troubles sir. Just remember all the good times, use that to fight the pain. That's cheesy, sure, but there is truth there as well. I will pray for you to not become discouraged during all of this. Feel free to post anytime you need, I at least read everything on here, though I don't always post.

Sorry to hear that. Sucks! I don't know where you are but if you are in a 50/50 state you need a better lawyer. Sell the house, 50-50 split, sell the car 50-50 split, etc.

As a matter of fact my lawyer said basically the same thing.

Think I'll make my wife keep a job until retirement :)

You just can't figure these things out that make people tick. Damn selfish people.

Does she have a much younger sister you could ****?

My gosh that is aweful especially when the bitch is in the wrong. Horrible laws.

Holy shit that would be a great idea. It would put a hole in her heart and it would be completely legal.

:clap:

Not housewives who leave their husband for another man.

I would retain a better lawyer. NO WAY IN HELL that you should lose the house without compensation. What state do you live in?

wow....sorry to hear that man! Thats crazy...I feel for ya.

same thing happened to my folks, well not exactly the same thing happened to my folks but they split just recently like 3 years ago...Except, they had problems in their marriage. Was tough for me to because I was in the middle of it.

Divorces, separations are one of the hardest things to deal with in life. I agree they have to do something about these separations laws they are unfair in a lot of ways.

I hope everything will be okay with you, and I hope that this type of situation or circumstance doesn't affect your health, or sanity. Easier said then done I know..Its a challenge. But That is more important then anything.

Best thing I can say is try your best to stay strong. I hope you do that.

I never cheated on her. But if she did have a sister I weould for the hell of it

Typically, the reason for the divorce is not included in the proceedings. I'm no lawer, but I know people who have been through it. I believe it's called "no fault".

Colorado

these laws do suck A$$. If she wants to leave...then she gets nothing!!!!!!!

Tell you what man. I wish you the best of luck. I would suggest that you not remarry for a long while. Don't go getting lonely and marrying some ugly/stupid pig in 2 weeks. Get your confidence back and have some fun. If you're not in shape, use the extra time to join a gym and get in great shape.

Well I hate to say this cuz everyone is going your pity party but be VERY happy. Remember the past with kind and fond thoughts but let me tell you life isn't even close to over and you are going to like the digs out here. You will find someone that is way more in tune with your likes and you will be ten times happier than you can imagine.

I know its tough now but trust me its going to be a great thing for you in the long run. Jump back in and you will enjoy your life on a whole new level, And I say this from experience.

Dave

A distant cousin, maybe?

Niece?

Just typing out loud here.

Better starting over at 58 then be dead. Then she would have got everything, and more than likely a nice life insurance check. It's time for you to live a little. Just don't over do it.

As far as the lawery is concerned she is highly recommended and this is her speciality

It varies from state to state, but yes in a typical Texas no fault case, everything is split 50/50 unless there are extreme reasons not to. I will look at Colorado now...

I have not only been through it but also used to work for one of the top divorce firms here in Austin... so I have seen all sides of it.

You get compensation for it in the settlement. I had a paid off house pre-marital and still had to give 1/2 the increase in value for the 13 years I was married.

Sorry to hear that Monk. It does sound like you are getting the shaft though. I would try to hook up with a pitbull for a lawyer.

What about a brother?

Never did over do it. We took several small vacations as the girls were growing up and I was working. But after the girls were grown we made several overseas trips. Come to think of it I may start buying a better scotch

LOL terrible, especially coming from you.

don't swing that way. but all the money through the years we have given him that is indeed an idea (just to hear him squal )

I'm not advocating murder. But I am practically that pissed off for you. :cuss:

Devastating. Simply devastating. How are your kids taking it?

Probably not advice you should take, but I'd burn that ****ing house to the ground with her inside it.

Not good not good at all

Wow...

Sorry to hear that man, that has got to sting. Like everyone else has said, try and enjoy your new found freedom. That must feel so surreal...

This shit ain't right.

It is has crossed my mind

Does she have a job now?

If you have enough cash after the c()nt rakes you over the coals, get yourself a nice hot rod. I realize it is cliche, but at least it'll be fun.

Sorry to hear about your losses. I'd suggest The Macallan.

Well hang in there, it will get better after all the bullshit is done. Live your life and have some fun.

Of course she doesn't. She's a f()ckin lazy leach. She'll live off his hard earned retirement money.

By the way, if your wife has left you for another man that's adultry. You contest it, you should come out on top financially.

Maybe there are some real positives that can come from this, who knows.

It should bring some sort of solitude to see your integrity is unblemished while someone doing you wrong has none. Maybe, I don't know.

Yes since she left she has started work a small business here in town as a receptionist or something

Seriously, you should get a better lawyer. Under the circumstances, you should at least get half the value of the house. I would fight that bitch tooth and nail over that. Let the guy she's ****ing buy her a house.

God I hope so, but right now I see none.

It's what you make it to be honest. Like I said, after all the BS is done, old Monk needs live some dreams and have some fun. I'm not saying go bat shit crazy, but live your life and enjoy it.

That really sucks. Listen, hop in the car, drive to the nearest liquor store, and buy a bottle of Glenlivet (aged 12 yrs plus). I bought that for my husband and he raves about it! Good luck to u Monk.

Ok here is the long and short of it.

#1 Colorado has some F-ed up laws...
#2 Based on what I have read so far... the "standard" for CO would be for you to split the house and pay her temporary Alimony
#3 I am assuming they are trying to take ALL of the house in lieu of any alimony (bullshit!)
#4 All lawyers suck and are lazy. Period. if your attorney is highly regarded, that just means she may actually work 20 real hours a week and may actually give a shit and THINK during 2 of those. They are as unethical as automechanics and as unreliable as doctors... so, please get at least ONE other opinion before you agree to something as life changing as your final divorce decree.

(Apologies to any lawyers, docotrs or mechanics... hyperbole needed for point...)

That is really really good for you. Did she physically move out? Is she living with the other guy?

DAMMIT CARL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:cuss::D

Did she respond poorly to an empty nest or something?

Thanks BWANA, I will. But right now, well, right now I feel like the only thing I was able to accomplish in life was raising two beautiful daughters. And trust me they are worth it

You've got 28,000 in casino cash. What more could a guy ask for?

In all reality, you've got many years left to enjoy. Starting over can be a good thing.

If I were you, I would counter offer, let her keep the house (better for you mentally to start over anyway) .. but in return... you keep 50% of its value (based on most recent property tax) in your pension/investments.

So, if the house is worth $200k and you have $500k in pension/investments... she would only get $150k worth of them instead of $250k

THAT seems like a fair deal.

If you cant get AT LEAST that... might I suggest antifreeze?

Gosh, I'm sorry to hear about this. It's hard to get blindsided like that.

Good thing she doesn't about the casino cash or I would probably be splitting that

Get a downtown Condo! All midsize and larger towns have them! Some of them are sweet fuggin pads.

Sounds like pretty good advice to me.

Thank you Sir I will

ROFL

Nice to see you've still got a great sense of humor.

Never trust a female Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent.

Holy Jesus ****ing ass Christ. You should inadvertently post her address and we should off her for you. Condolences dude.

Get a new lawyer. It should be 50% of the assets and nothing more from everything that I hear. If I were you I'd say that the house is what she gets. Your retirement is absolutely assenine. You're going to get anal raped getting it out.

I don't know how it all works, but I'd take all your money out and give it to someone you trust. If she wants the house so bad, tell her it is worth way more than she wants and that way she gets no cash. That should force a liquidation of the house and that way you can give her the money and hopefully not liquidate your retirement funds.

If that doesn't work, I would seriously consider liquidating your assets and giving it to someone you trust.

ROFL At least you still have a sense of humor.

i'd liquidate everything, hide the money in belize, then tell them all to get fkd - you gambled the money away.

Well I'll tell you what, that's something to be very pround of. Just remember, your life is a long way from being over. You have a lot of time left, make the choice to make the best of it and treat yourself to some fun and live your dreams bud. Like I said, it may seem hard to see it right now while you're in the center of this, but it WILL get better.

Thanks Lumpy as a matter of fact that is what I drink

Yes she did

BINGO!!!

Now is the perfect time to spend a season ranching cattle and going to rodeos and sleeping under the stars. Or spending a few months in a monastery in prayer and meditation. Something like that.

Also, get a dog if you don't have one already. Without one you will die sooner.