My Girlfriend got her period!!!
 

We were a little worried. But no baby, no baby, no baby! :clap:

I'm going to celebrate.

Congrats, You can name him Clotty.

GREAT SUCCESS!!! HIIIIGH FIVEEEE!

That is great news.......next time I promise to pull out.

Thank God.

Mental midgets should never procreate.

I love BJ week too, my friend....

push her down some stairs anyway

you hypocrite....

LOL

Not to be a debbie downer but we commonly bleed during our first trimester.

So does the father... FYI (well, later in the pregnancy I suppose)

LOL, love the username

I don't know why you were worried. It wasn't yours anyway.

No silly. The fathers bleed for the subsequent 18 years.

or maybe some 'rough' tickling? with closed fists?

Yeah,
I fixed it.

I hate to be the first, but I'd recommend some method of birth control to avoid such situations in the future. I mean, I could be going out on a limb here, but it doesn't sound like you are, at this point, prepard for fatherhood, but, yet, still maintain a sexually active lifestyle with your current partner/girlfriend. Just a suggestion. I have heard that their are such things as a condom or pills or the like.

But then, you could be like 15, and her parents would castrate you, slap a statutory rape charge on you, etc., if they knew you were having sex so you haven't been to the doctor to get a birth control prescription, or you could be too chicken to walk into a Walgreens to pick up a pack of condoms or it could be that you are just reeruned and like having sex without a method of birth control and love that monthly excitement and anxiety about the possibility of becoming a parent.

ROFL



She shoots...SHE SCOOORRRES!!!!!

LMAO

whats a matter sackagoo? you're sweating.

If I'm a mental midget, then there's a very good chance that I don't have the intellectual capacity to be a hypocrite.

Of course, if I don't have the intellectual capacity to be a hypocrite, then I doubt I would have the intellectual capacity to reach that conclusion.

It's quite a connundrum, really.

Not me. I'm celibate. I nipped a shit ton of potential problems in the bud when I made that decision four years ago.

there was birth control involved. it just might have been compromised.

Congrats. I know the relief you feel.

I recommend the "horse shoe" technique

i hope you didn't put the sandwich back in it after you were done.
sec

I hate big sperm.

No, you wouldn't have the mental capacity to understand your own hypocrisies, instead just look your nose down on the rest of us and act like you know something.


:p

I told you, I've been fixed. I'm just a playtoy now. You can stop sweating....

prolly miscarried, woo woo

When in doubt, and you don't wanna pull out, ****ing in the ass is what it's all about.

Now see, you're a bully, because you think I'm a mental midget, and are picking on me in hopes of making my brain hurt.

I never claimed to be a role model....

If he's looking down on you get off your knees.

This bugs me even more than the lesbian craze going on right now. Since when did this anal sex thing become popular? I hate to tell all of you closet homos, but the butt isn't made for penile insertion. It's made for excrement evacuation. Perhaps all the needle dicks out there find it's the only way to get any type of reaction out of a woman in terms of sexual involvement, but it's just plain gross to get excited about stuffing your wang in a keester. Even the ancient Greeks/Romans didn't do that. It was all "in-between the thighs" sex. And if I was a chick, and some dude wanted to stick it in my butt, I'd pull out the 9 inch dildo from the night stand and tell him that if he wants to, he gets it done first and see how much he enjoys it.

Just goes back to the 10/80/10 sociological concept that 10% of the population is pure heterosexual, 10% is pure homosexual and the other 80% is somewhere in-between.

ooo what kind of antibiotics is she on?

Does the squirting of sperm in the poop chute feel different from the drizzle of jizz in the love grotto?

isn't that a myth?

Your name is Diaperboy? Appropriate.

It's not about homosexuality, it's about doing something that's taboo. Some people like that. So I've heard.

Antibotics **** up the pill but little else.

Sorry about your uncle touching you in the naughty place... that and your ignorance about Greek/Roman sexual practices...

ROFL

Some people like humping goats. That's taboo. It doesn't make it right though.

And having a chick use Mr. Happy on your butt first just makes it chivalrous, understanding and even more taboo.

I've never felt the squirting of sperm in my poop shoot and I don't have a love grotto for the drizzling of jizz (fyi, I prefer the term "steamy strawberry love cove"), so I can't really speak on that.

Say, come to think of it, why are you asking me?!?

From a guy's perspective, I actually prefer the vagina at the point of orgasm, because if you've operated the machinery correctly, you can share the sensation. Not that I haven't done it the other way. err, I mean, heard people tell me about doing it the other way (cough, cough), and it can certainly be a good thing, too.

Yes, because ****ing a woman up the ass is just like ****ing a goat. Let's not forget that all gay men are pedophiles, too.

Since when did my stance on disdain for anal sex in this thread mean that I was molested by family members? Methinks you've got a closet full of skeletons Aristophanes Jr. And did you, in a past life Mr. McClain, hang out with Nero and go swimming in his pool full of adolescent boys trained in the art of underwater sexual favors?

What what in the butt??

Buttsecks FTW.

Oh hell!

All hope is dashed!

Maybe take this time to master the complicated condom......or birth control pill/shot.

Who the hell else would I ask??

what I want to know is how saccagoo knows so much about ancient buttsecks techniques, and if he's so certain of the exit only strategy, why in the hell do you have a 9" dildo in your night stand? dude?

I don't know...

...

...

A MIRROR!?!

I have yet to figure out a way for me to cum in a guy's ass that doesn't involve some sort of weird feltching.

it is always hard to really get a good read if your girl is pregnant since she always pisses all over the place because she ways 3 bills. So you can't really just look and see if she is carrying or if she just rolled over on a hoggie or something

Pardon the pun, but I do believe you're talking out of your ass.

Do I have to do all the thinking here?

Say, wait a second, why would you think I have any experience with cum in a guy's ass, either catching or pitching? :spock:

Oh god. No. They told me those videos were private.

You better hope I'm never your Secret Santa or something.

That feeling of relief is a good feeling.

I wonder how Saccogoo feels about oral stimulation.

He's very very into ATM.

I imagine you as an actual midget, whether or not you are one. You kinda look like this in my head:

http://bennyhills.fortunecity.com/elfman/77/ysguns2.gif

Just remember, baby...anything you can do, I can do better.


I can do anything better than you. No you can't. Yes I can. No you can't. Yes I can.


I usually keep the best evil ideas to myself.

If you are too small to wear a condom, then you should probably keep it in the diaper, boy.

Isn't that the same thing as just not being able to get some. I love when people make this excuse for being a complete loser.

I can knit.

I'm glad I can make my own decisions as to what I want or don't want in my ass.

Ass to mandible?

I can knot.

Yep, last time my doc prescribed the pill and some antibiotics, she told me to make sure to remember that the antibiotics would render the pill useless.

groan

That doesn't sound like a good little submissive wife.

That's how I got the beautiful and talented Autumn Lynn.

Don't blame me. You put it on the tee.

ROFL

Your chick has ****ed you in the ass, hasn't she?

You illiterate redneck. I posed a hypothetical that if I was a woman, and being a woman, having a nine inch vibrating Nu-skin dildo in my nightstand, let alone an Ultra-2000 rotating Rhino and a set of Ben-wa balls, a remotely operated vibrating egg, a set of battery operated nipple exciters, a copy of the Karma Sutra, etc., would not be a complete stretch. And, in having such an implement of sexual gratification and still maintaining the hypothetical female perspective, faced with a male partner wishing to penetrate my anal orifice with his penis, I would allow him to do so only unless he was willing to take said nine inch dildo up his ass as vigorously and for a time period relative to what he was inclined to do so to mine. Otherwise, it's complete hypocrisy. Guys have a butthole just as much as girls do. Girls then, should have every right to plow into a dudes keester with a strap on - if the guy wants to put it in her pooper.

However, I also have many of these previously mentioned marital aids in addition to many, many others. When I used to have sex, I just wanted to make sure that my partner was completely and utterly satisfied and just wanted to cover all the bases. One would have to be naive, a neophyte or ill-trained in the sexual arts not have tools of the trade on hand to help ensure a pleasurable experience for all parties involved.

ROFL

I love that idea that all gay men are pedophiles. People just don't realize that it's not a gay thing, it's a male thing. Men in general are more likely to be pedophiles, and just about the same percent of gays are pedophiles as in the rest of the male population.

I'm glad I get to make my own decision on whether or not I want to be submissive.

This women's lib business has ruined it for us menfolk, dadgumit.