If slavery was legal...
 

Hypothetical situation here, and I'll start by apologizing in advance to every African American person on the board if you want me to.


Background:

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE.

In order to help pay for a new stimulus package that provides big-screen TVs, unlimited 7-11 Big Gulps, and liposuction for every American, Obama's wacky science advisor re-establishes slavery in the United States. Every American draws a random number and 30 percent (those drawing a number ending in a 2, 4 or 7 if you're interested) will become slaves. So the slave population will contain people of all education levels, ages, genders, and yes, all races. Those slaves are then placed for sale by the government in a controlled auction environment.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY.

You and all of your friends and relatives and friendly coworkers draw safe numbers, so you don't have to worry about anyone you know.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE.

All laws are rewritten so that owning slaves is legal, generally along the lines of the year 1850. There is no social stigma to being a slaveowner, as it is condoned by nearly all daytime TV talk shows as well as Comedy Central, FOX News, and National Public Radio (though NPR suggests donating them to NPR in your will). The Constitution is amended to allow it, so it's not going anywhere in your lifetime.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT.

Based on about five minutes of research, it appears that the price for a slave in 1850, if inflated to today's dollars, would range from about $15,000 for someone with flaws (advanced age, health, etc.), to about $50,000 for an average slave, to about $95,000 for a top-notch, good-looking, prime-of-life slave.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING.

Recall that you would be responsible for all of this person's expenses and upkeep, including housing, health care, food, etc. However, in return you get...well...the person. Free labor for the remainder of the person's natural life, and no saying no to anything.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK.

Much like a car, an interested buyer can shop around and buy a person who seems like the best value according to their own criteria.

Be honest. Would you buy one?

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK. NONE.

And I'll finish by apologizing to any African Americans on the board if you want me to.

You racist bastard.

I believe that the correct thread title should be: "If slavery were legal..."

I hope that isn't too White.

Fuggn cracka!!!!!
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Is this a race thing..........

YOU RACIST BASTARD!!!!

OK, just kidding there, I would probably own one if I could afford it, but in all honesty, would require myself to treat them fairly, and could not afford the upkeep on it, nor the initially asking price. To become a slave on the otherhand...in the economic situation I was in in the united states...I might volunteer, relatively young age and healthy body, hope I get a good family.

:popcorn:

Shitsprayer would be very happy.
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Oh boy, this ought to be a dandy.

:popcorn:

What kind of rebates would there be?

Cash for clunkers? Special financing options? $95K, is that the sticker price?

Trade ins? Leases?

Too many questions remain...

Obama might be silly but he's no fuggn idiot!!!
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This is my slave right here. Worth every penny.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1104/...2d0952.jpg?v=0

I voted no because it is just wrong. However, if the oppurtunity came up to purchase a stickman as my own personal slave then I'd have to reconsider.

thigga what?

if i ended up one of the slaves, i would steal a lot.

If Id lived bak then and needed help for my business Id prolly bought however many slaves needed to run my business .. that said, they would of been cared for like family ...

What if the slaves where robots, would that change anyone's mind?

Can a robot be a slave if it doesn't have free will?

How much would Megan Fox cost?

They're called kids. Work 'em

My suspicion is that she'd probably beat the $95,000 top end by a significant margin. Supply and demand.

Hmm, this might lead to us burning Lawrence to the ground again. I'm in. :)

I'd buy a house with a great balcony, so I could come out on it in the morning and gesture over all of the slaves, and pretend I was Caesar.

I don't have a big screen tv or one of those phones that makes you breakfast or a laptop or that thing that records shows without commercials and I've never been to a Chiefs game and my car is a 1997 Honda so I'm certainly not investing in a slave.

I might consider hiring one temporarily. I need the back yard landscaped.

Prolly not. Prohibitively expensive. It would be cheaper just to hire an employee.

To what I would think is the majority of us working class folks. Are we not slaves to some degree already?

I'd also build a giant chessboard out of those landscaping tiles. But I'd need 32 slaves. Kind of spendish.

Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh....I'm gonna git me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I seeee. I'm gonna git me a shotgun so they won't bother meeee....
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There sure are a bunch of entertaining threads today.

I want white slaves.

Is that wrong?

I wouldn't mind having some annoying ****ing celebs be a slave. Let's see how they like it living THAT lifestyle.

Swiiing low....sweeeet chariot
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Do I have to steal a 14 year old and put a sound proof compound in my back yard?

I would also have them construct a pyramid.

Oh, cool. :thumb:

I am ready for a rematch and it has nothing to do with Lawrence, it is a Kansas thing :evil:

You might want to take your ass back to Oakland. :p

FYP










Good god, i really should let this go......:evil:

Well since no one seems to own up.... I voted yes. The stip[ulation being that I could actually afford one.

Assuming I could, then yea I probably would. Of course I would buy some relly smoking hot chick, fall in love & then free and marry her. Of course I would then catch her sleeping with another slave, she would leave me & take all my shit!!!! :banghead:

Sorry, kinda went on a tangent there for a moment. :p

But yea, If I was filthy rich or at least well off then damn right. What can I say? :shrug:

Prosperity in this country involves stepping on somebody's neck. Call it whatever you want.

A personal assistant and a yard service would have a lot less overhead.

That isn't true at all. But if you think it's true, that will be your experience - so in that sense, you're absolutely right.

What if Kim kardashian or some other hot chick gets picked for a slave... I would defiantly get one..but the best part would be to get some conservative GOP , birther, nut job as my own personal slave.:thumb: I would wip him until he says his name is Kunta, :thumb:and not Bob lol

Charming.

If slavery were still legal in the United States, I'd move to a different country where it's not legal.

I think we should be able to treat lazy jobless homeless people as slaves

There are different forms of slavery. In biblical times you would work for a master to pay debt off, own property and such.

Much like the indentured servant was used in the beginning of this country for food, clothing lodging and buying property among other things. So in a way they were your slave. Under an agreement you had to work for him for x amount of time to pay off the debt.

I would guess many of us are slaves to society in a way. Paying off mortgages, cars, energy sources, food, Visa cards etc.

We have to work, right? (except Gochiefs)

Plus it helps gives us a sense of purpose in our lives as well.

I find it conceivable that a chick with a great set of titties could play her cards right and make me her slave....forever.

Could we buy Canadians as slaves...I always wanted to own a Canadian( not meaning the code word that you use for black people, that you think we dont know about..whitey lol) ...

Have you seen BK's new avatar? :drool:

I saw the big picture.

EDIT: Link FTR

Where is that?

I edited in the link...

***boing****:drool:

I could get Rush Limbaugh for 15k? That would be a steal.

You could probably get pretty much any Cub player you want. They're all on sale right now. :evil:

If i could get a harem of hot ladies. I would buy some.
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No.

voted no, and do not need one..

Slavery had its time and place in the past.. There is or would be no reason to have them again..

Probably would have been better to sub slaves for: criminals that are in for life, have been neutered and a tracking chip placed in them that helps controls behaviors.. You would probably have gotten more yes's..

Only if I knew I was getting a frenchman, that way it would be guiltless...

Ok, but don't think we haven't cought on to a brother "sniffing" around a sweating whitey. Yeah, we know you think we smell like wet dogs...

is this a poll where people can view your answers? I want to know if I should answer them honestly or not

Dude, we already know yer' a racist.
Does being an azzhole as well really matter?

I was only kidding dude. What do you mean "we already know yer' a racist." I am not, I know it's hard to sense sarcasm in a forum, but seriously.

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If I said I'd like her to be my slave would that make me racist?
(Oh, and is it just me or does she have a voice like an 80 year old male smoker?)

This got me thinking..... a great way to take care of the homeless population.... sell them as slaves.

I mean, we would have to have rules on it. You know, similar to the amount hours college students are allowed to play football.... so, I am sure that no one would abuse the power.

But, you can have them do whatever you need done. Then, you have to house them in acceptable living conditions and feed them.

Heck, we could solve health care this way too. All the people who don't have health care could be sold off as slaves and the slave owners could put them on their own health insurance policy.

Man, you know, now that I think about it.... slavery is that answer to all our problems.

Of course the democrats have been trying to get us all on the plantation for a while....

The homeless thing is almost a good Idea. Only, homeless people are usually that way, because they don't want to work, so.....

Their accessed value is the schools ticket to the land of luxury.

Not interested in getting into the cotton business.

In today's day-and-age, the issue of slavery would expand beyond race. More so, owning slaves in modern times would be related to socioeconomic elitism, I believe. With that said however, lower economic class largely encompasses racial minorities in America; thus the attention of public perception will be first pointed at race.

This snowball rolling down a steep hill gets larger, as you deny a specific class of people the opportunity to better themselves through education etc., thus locking generations of their class into servitude.

To willfully take possession of another human being's freedom and liberties, regardless of their race, class or creed, is disgusting in these modern times. Just my .02.

This post is likely to cause a strange change reaction...

I'd cash in my 401K and own as many hot chicks as possible. Then I'd make sure I had one or two decent male laborers to take care of stuff like the yard and fixing things. I'd treat them very well. You know, providing them with free dental care except for the few chicks I require to have all their teeth removed. If I ended up being a slave, I would kill my master first chance I got and take over his gig.

I'll take Lin Elliot &...ummm...Ok...that billionaire douchebag that coined the phrase "firecrotch".

I'm the only one afraid of absolute power?

Sickos.

Yeah, and I probably harbor a lot of resentment and hostility.

Well, yeah.... but would you buy one?