Worst Movies Evar
 

The Megan Fox thread got me to thinking...what are your personal "worst" movies you've ever seen?

Here's my top five right off the top of my head:

1. Crank
- And Statham was so good in Snatch. WTF happened to that guy? This movie is a trainwreck of epic proportions. I'm getting physically sick just thinking about this pail of warm spit.

2. Nothing But Trouble
- No words to discribe how bad this piece of shit is as Dan Ackroyd builds up his acting resume with this triumphant followup to his Oscar worthy performance in Caddyshack 2. Everyone associated with this movie should be killed.

3. Clerks 2
- Why does Kevin Smith even make movies? He's like a really bad Quentin Tarrantino, and that's saying a lot (or very little). Blew his wad on the original Clerks and has treated us with calamities such as this ever since.

4. Any Given Sunday
- See #3 for description on Oliver Stone. The fact that he is actually putting out Wallstreet 2: Money Never Sleeps, put out Alexander and this steaming pile of monkey shit. I mean, when was the last time anyone played NFL football in the dark? Probably the last time Al Pacino didn't mail it in on a movie. HOOOHAAA! Al. Hoohaa indeed.

5. Righteous Kill
- Pacino. DeNiro. It's got to be great, right? OMG. They didn't even put a stamp on the letter to mail it in for this lump of festering goat bile. And next time, remember to get a stand in double for anytime you are being filmed trying to throw a ball or run Bobby. I mean, shit. Who would of thought that DeNiro throws like a girl. An old, wrinkled up sissy armed girl who runs like a hobbled 89 year old lady in six inch stilettos.

I'd like to say "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus", but I can't... I laughed my ass off!

Short Cuts

I imagine there is probably a place for a thread such as this one. Couldn't imagine where though.

Oooh!

Is that the piece of shit with the helicopters spraying pesticides? The one with a drunk Lily Tomlin and Huey Lewis taking a piss in a river?

That's the one.

**** me with a broom handle; that was god-awful. And even worse, my quasi-artsy room mate trying to explain to me how great it was.

Just horrible.

fail

2 of those movies were somewhat enjoyable at least. You want to talk about the worst movies ever you have to put The Happening, Showgirls, Wild Wild West, Gigli, Batman & Robin, Judge Dread, the latest Godzilla, Pearl Harbor, Paulie Shore movies....I could go all day

CRANK WAS ****ING AWESOME...

Anyway, as far as the question:

The Spirit
House of the Dead
Dreamgirls
Ghost Rider

Good call on The Happening. I liked his first three and absolutely hated The Village. I "nothing"ed Lady in the Water, but going into The Happening my expectations could not have been lower. I was still shocked at how bad it was. It's like he's trying to suck.

1. Christmas With the Kranks - (ex g/f awesome idea of seeing this flick) This stars Tim coke head Allen and hermie Jamie Lynn Curtis. every Xmas season some shitty Christmas comedy flick comes out and this was that season's flick, but out of every movie thats ever been made, this one takes the cake for being the biggest POS ever. I walked out and threaten to leave me g/f there if she didn't come with me. We rented a movie and chilled back at my place. Me and my ex used to always argue why we didn't get to see any movies that she wanted to see. Well this is full proof of the bullshit she likes to pick out.

2. Redline - Watched about 30 min of this when I came home one night and my roomate was watching this. At first I thought it was one of the Fast n Furious movies, but no...that wasn't shitty enough. I was never big into any of those street racing movies to begin with, but to make a shitty spin-off like movie about racing from another shitty racing movie.....I mean come on, a bitch being the best driver? We all know women can't drive cars for ****ing crap on a stick.

3. Batman and Robin - Whoever made this movie needs to be shot. Bat suits with huge nipples, reeruned one liners from Robin, horrible bat gadgets, ****ing Mr Freeze's ice hockey foot clan? The movie was filled with so many colors I thought I was tripping shrooms through out the movie only I wasn't. I was just witnessing a bunch of horse shit spread out across a string of movie film.

4. Jennifers Body - I just got done watching this movie. I'm speechless but confused by whether its because Megan Fox is so hot, or that was the worst hr 1/2 of shit I've seen in a while. I hope to god Megan Fox is never given a primary role ever again. She can't act for shit. She just needs to be on camera and look good and speak at a bare minimum. They gave her a bigger role in the 2nd Transformers movie, which is why I thought that movie was far worse than the 1st. I would give anything to **** her though. Did I mention she was hot?

5. Gattica - Man this movie just wasn't for me. I gonna get bashed for this because a lot people I know disagreed with me about this movie. I was just not interested in it at all. It started out really slow and continued to be really slow. And just never got my attention. I think Ethan Hawke's a homo anyways. I dont know how I got persuaded to see this movie.

Easy one

Amityville 4 (well, I think its 4) ...the premis is that the energy of the amityville house went into a friggin lamp, yeah you heard me right, a friggin lamp!

Two people die in the whole movie. First one dies when the lamp unpluggs itself and the cord strangles him, the cord is flailing around the room and at one point you can see the fishing line holding it up clear as day. The other death happens when a guy is crawling through a vent shaft and then it flashes to an ooze/slime closing in out of absolutly nowhere, with no explaination of why really, and the camera cuts and it goes to a wide shot of the house with him screaming like a bitch.

One of those movies you have to watch twice just to appreciate how truly bad every aspect of the movie is and to make every other movie that much more appreciated.

I think it's one of the best movies of the 90's.

Joe's apartment....paid $1 to see it and I thought I got ripped off. Talking cockroaches....enough said...

Maybe some of you just spend too much time watching shit movies...Out of all the movies mentioned so far in this thread, I've seen exactly one...Gattaca - and that was a great movie, but unfortunately for some you needed an I.Q. over 65 or so to enjoy it...

Meet the Fockers. My God. Barbra Streisand and Dustin Hoffman acting "sexy". Felt like throwing up in my mouth most of the movie.

The first Star Trek Movie. That bald chick. The half hour of looking at the Enterprise so that the Trekkies could masturbate in their seats. Veeeger. Just stop it.

Godfather 3. Never have I been so disappointed. We waited 16 years for THIS? Did Al Pacino or Coppola ever watch the first 2 because Michael Corleones entire personality was different. This is when I started to think of a possible Al is Dead theory. Think about it. Somewhere between Author Author and Sea Love Al Pacino looked different, sounded different and his personality was different. Think about it. Watch his movies before and after. I don't think its the same guy!
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ROFL

Anything playing on SciFi/SyFy this weekend. The actors are either college kids needing some beer money or washed up actors (Gary Busey) trying to stay in the spot light. The special effects are horrible, the scripts are poor, and the acting atrocious.

You pick really terribly.

The worst movie I ever payed for was Ultraviolet. So terrible.

I'm still pissed off they cancelled Farscape due to budget issues, yet still make those shitty movies at an amazing rate.

Vanilla Sky

Batman and Robin.
Nipples on armor.
:Lin:

Yeah.....I just wasn't into it. Some of my friends liked it. But I respectfully disagree.

Maybe I shoulda put Battlefield Earth? That was horrible.

Epic movie
Date movie
Basically any parody movie made in the last 5 or so years.


Seriously do these directors watch their own movies to see how shitty they are? There's no ****ing way they can be pleased with the pieces of shit they make.
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Gattica was alright but it was god awful boring especially the beginning. I don't see how people say its one of the best movies in any decade.
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I love Gattaca. One of my favorite movies. It's very interesting. I was riveted, even though it was slow. But, in some movies, slow is good.

Terrible movie, as movies go, but I don't know if Mila Jovovich has ever looked better. She was HOT in that movie. She was also hot in the Fifth Element. I REALLY like Mila.

28 Days Later

Freddy vs Jason

Anything with Drew Barrymore... fat ugly whore...

I am glad I don't see movies that often it has to be a slam dunk award winner that needs to be seen if i like it. I have caught a few shitty ones on tnt though. I actually can't think of Thee shitty movie, just a couple groaners, duets

1 - Plan 9 From Outer-space (Hilariously Awful)
2 - Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (Terrible all the way around)
3 - Twister (Terrible forced plot and horrible dialogue)
4 - Titanic (Millions spent on CG and Special Effects. I swear he hired his reeruned nephew to write the script for free. One of the few movies where I walked away pissed off because of the horrible script)

That was awful too. ROFL

This is pretty much why I never got into the movie from the very start. And havent watched it since it came out.

Maybe if I watched it again maybe I'd like it better. (Now that I'm older) I believe I was like in 7th grade when I went to see it, now I'm 26.

Yeah, those movies are fuckawful. I can't believe ANYONE would enjoy those pieces of shit.

Wyatt Earp.....after watching Tombstone, this POS really failed. Dennis Quaid was a huge disappointment as Doc Holiday after watching Val Kilmer.

[QUOTE=Sofa King;6107540]28 Days Later

Freddy vs Jason

Anything with Drew Barrymore... fat ugly whore...[/QUOTE]

LMAO aint that the truth!!!


FWIW, I actually kinda liked F vs J not a great movie by any means, and horrible dialouge, but i think it's entertaining.

Tenacious D - The Pick of Destiny.

Which is sad...I love the D, but this movie was ****in rotten horrible.

Tombstone is one of the best western films ever made.

you lost me by talking shit on kevin smith. he's not ever gonna produce what the mainstream would consider a good movie, but his cult following find humor in his movies. dogma was one of the best, and largest, disses of the catholic church of all time. clerks 2< clerks, but you rant like the guy is a horrible director when he's not.

Dogma was good I thought

"Artificial Intelligence" - I took out the DVD and broke it in half after that monstrosity was over. If I ever see that vile piece of shit on screen again I swear to God I'll go on a rampage.

The ****ing worst ****ing movie that wouldn't ****ing end.

it's wierd when people say joe's apartment, or Monster V monster movies. I think Shitty shitty movies all time is a movie that you think is legit, that it thinks of itself as a good movie and presented as such and then it sucks. I know movies like snakes on a plane sucks or joes apartment, but atleast they are designed to suck so bad they might go all the way back to awesome.

Dan In Real Life - Excruciatingly painful to sit through. This is a chick flick that had to be written by chicks about a man struggling through love issues. Any man that can watch this movie and identify with the main character has serious issues.

Hoodwinked - The only movie that so bored me that I got up and left the theatre in the middle. It was a animation mystery and I couldn't tell if the intended audiance was adults or children. They failed in the box office receipts yet they are getting ready to release Hoodwinked 2! They didn't have a plot for the first movie so I can't imagine setting through number 2.

****ING THIS


man alive if that wasnt the worst movie in history...


Not even Sophie Monk made that watchable...

Boondock Saints is the most overrated movie in history. Not the worst, but bad for sure.

Bite your tongue Sir. Snakes on a Plane is pure awesomeness...


The plot is bullet proof :)

any terrance malick and bay movie. pray they never team up and direct a movie together, the world may implode

You know wat is overrated imo the newest super man movie... That was boring as ****...

Crank was OK for an action movie.
Nothing But Trouble was just stupid.
Clerks 2 was freakin hilarious.
Any Given Sunday was pretty good, plus its a football movie, whats not to like?
Never saw Righteous Kill.

welp guess I am going to have to see clerks 2

Tell me how she is fat and ugly?

I've seen a lot of shittly movies in my time but I can't put a top 5 together, so I'll just say the worst movie I've seen in resent history or maybe ever, is The Happening.

I too liked Crank... Thought it was fairly good.

Any Given Sunday is a movie that you have to be in the mood for. It was drawn out a bit but it had it's moments.

Clerks 2 had it's moments as well.

Don't think I've ever seen Nothing but Trouble don't think I want to either.

Righteous Kill was ****ing terrible. They tried way too hard to cook something up. Lumpy actually walked away from it. The last movie those two should have ever been in together was Heat.

Funny, i'm going to see Plan 9 from Outer Space in a couple weeks on the big screen.

Rifftrax version, though...:)

She's a "Right Light" kinda chick....



(Usually off)

Seriously? that is great movie

One movie that surprised me was Idiocracy. I sat and watched that thing and laughed my ass off. I went into it knowing it would suck but was pleasantly surprised.

Mystery Science 3000 was devoted to the art of heckling bad movies.

Movie suckage that comes to mind:
Anything with "Dame" Judi Dench or Vanessa Redgrave. No thanks.
Lots of sequels like Major League 2 or Caddyshack 2.
"Waterworld" with Kevin Costner
The new "Taking Woodstock" Movie was pretty horrendous...

Any movie with both predators and aliens in it.

Well, I wouldn't say she's hot, but she's not ugly. Certainly not fat.

I liked it. I kept thinking it could have been a lot better though. The premise was great, the execution was ok.

Recent movie that I thought sucked was Gamer with Gerard Butler in it.

Thought it was going to be cool with killing and death and stuff. But for some odd reason they liked doing these shaky cam fights and close ups during the gun fight scenes that was just painful. $20 down the drain for the ticket, food and drink.

Some of the movies I hate:
War of the Roses, with Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner- annoying, stupid and repetitive
What About Bob? I hated Bob. I wished he would die.
Hanging Up with Meg Ryan, Lisa Kudrow, and Diane Keaton. Possible the worst film in history.
The Heartbreak Kid. Holy crap that movie sucks.

I actually like Nothing But Trouble in a campy bizarre kind of way.

Gattaca (not Gattica -- there is no "i" in DNA) is a great movie. I've watched it probably 10 times.

i think people don't like drew berrymore or katie holmes because they have had strokes and can only talk out one side of their mouths.

Please. The acerbic, sarcastic, know-it-all commentary on everything in life was all used up at the end of Clerks. The well was literally dry. And to have two disgruntled angels pull the same schtick as Dante and Randall was weak. Especially two disgruntled angels played by none other than Ben Affleck (Gigli, Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, Daredevil, etc. I mean ****. Ben Affleck could have his own wing in the Worst Movies of All Time's Hall of Fame.) and nancyboy, pudding headed Matt Damon. Let alone casting Screechy Rock, Mumbles Rickman, and the ultimate Hollywood hermaphrodite Linda Fionentino. Jay with a machine gun and Alanis Morrisette as God doing handstands? Are you ****ing kidding me? It's witless, stupid, played out garbage. You want commentary on the Catholic Church from a good movie? Go watch Beckett, Brook's History of the World or MP's Meaning of Life. This and every other Kevin Smith movie other than Clerks is garbage. Pure, unadulterated garbage. See Clerks 2 for proof. Also Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Holy shit, that is bad. And Mall Rats. Basically the same thing as Clerks with Jason Lee in the Randall role. The same tired crap all over again, but in color with those super special moments of Kevin Smith flying through the air. And it had Ben Affleck in it. Again. **** Kevin Smith and **** his ultra-shitty played out same schtick movies.

Rumor is both were fathered by Slyvester Stallone.

Major League 2 was still a good movie. The 3rd one was the awful one where they were in the minor leagues.

Major League 3: Back to the Minors.....is I think what it was called.

WHOA WHOA.........you ****ing serious? I love Boondock Saints.

I'm not surprised, it's crap.

ROFL God my ex LOVED this movie......I hated it so ****ing much. I too, wish Bob would die.

Mullholland Drive (still no clue as to WTF the “plot” was about)
Transformers (didn’t expect much….and was still blown away with how bad it was)
Flightplan
The Saint
Face Off
Look Who’s Talking
….and movie with Travolta in it.
Last of the Mohicans
What Women Want
Twister
Saving Silverman
Two Weeks Notice
The Art of War
Air Force One
Manequin
Howard The Duck
Any “Fast and the Furious” – type movies.
Biker Boyz
The Wraith



,,,so many others….

You're the first guy I've heard to say BS sucks.

ROFL

Saving Silverman was funny as shit.

Primeval....

Worst. ****ing. Movie. EVAR!!!


We decided to go see it back before they actually let you know it was a crocodile that was killing all of these people. All the previews said....was that it had killed over 300 people and it was back. I thought....sweet....this should be decent and worth $6. I was so ****ing wrong. Worst special effects ever. Worst acting ever. Worst plot line ever.

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It runs like a parody of a good criminal movie, a high school tarantino immitation contest. It's shallow, derivative, overwrought, the dialogue is appalling, it's little besides one execution after another. It was like they filmed a bunch of people getting killed and decided to make a movie out of it. The reviews were horrid, I don't know what you're talking about.

I thought "The Art of War" was decent....not great but not horrible.

The Wraith was one of those so bad it's good movies to me. Not that I'd watch it again or anything.

Art of War, I agree....I guess no unbearable to watch....I just remember watching it and when it was done I was almost relieved for it to be over. I guess It's one of those movies that I'd car to never see again.

Saving Sliverman did have some funny parts....but over all, ehhh.
So...maybe remove those two from my list since the thread is 'worst' etc..

Art of War was to long....I'll agree on that. It could have been about 30 minutes shorter than it was.

Saving Silverman was funny back when I was 19-20. I watched it again 6 months ago....and not really as funny as I remember it to be. Jack Black and Steve Zahn were hilarious in it though. Jason Biggs...not so much.