S.O. wearing ex's jewelry?
 

So I was curious about this. Do you think it's ok for your significant other to wear jewelry or clothing articles from their previous significant others? My girlfriend has a few very minor jewlery pieces that she has from past relationships. I don't really care that much, except for a necklace she has from a previous boyfriend that I really don't like, but it's an annoyance that I can deal with. Is there some form of etiquette on this topic? If she had a ton of it, then I would probably be a little more annoyed. I'm sure a lot of you have had similar issues, just curious if it bothered you or not.

Kill the bitch!
I keed! I keed! :D

Seriously though... there's no need for her to wear that shit.
She's holding on to something. It meant something to her then just because she's with you doesn't mean it doesn't now.

If you're fine with it then be fine with it...
If you're not... it's a matter of disrespect and you need to grow a pair.

De Beers would suggest you replace that necklace.

I guess it would depend on the jewelry, the simple generic type stuff I wouldn't sweat. The others, hmmm.

It's just a stupid piece of jewelry. Don't be all insecure or jealous because the shit she has didn't all come from you. It's just stuff. If you make a scene over it, you're just going to come off as a dick.

I don't really see an issue with it.

If it was an engagement ring or a locket with his and her pictures in it, I could see having an issue, but not just some generic earings or whatever.

I still have clothes from past girlfriends, and it never brings back some emotional attachment when I wear it.



How did it come up that it was a gift from an ex? Did she specifically point it out, or did you ask?

WWOJD

I'd draw the line at wedding rings or engagement rings.

Other than that, the key is the symbolism. Does she just think it's a necklace, or does she think it's a reminder of the deep and abiding love she once had for Percival or Chauncey or whatever his name is?

I was going to post this. But with way more sexual innuendo.

I still wear a Disney World t-shirt I got on a vacation with a girlfriend more than 20 years ago. I don't think it bothers my wife, but maybe I should ask.

It would be impossible to have more sexual innuendo than one of my posts. It's just deeply buried between the lines.

This. Maybe it's just a nice necklace. There's no reason to make her take it of if she really just likes the necklace. I doubt she's holding onto it because every time she puts it on she thinks of him.

Hell, I still have a jacket that my ex got me and I like the jacket. I don't even think of her anymore when I put it on. I'd be more than a little pissed if my GF wanted me to get rid of it.

I think jewelry is a little different than clothing. Unless the clothing was actually the ex's clothing. Like, I'm not gonna go around wearing my ex's button down shirt around the house.
I'd say if it's just costume stuff, then no worries, but anything with value - monetary or otherwise should probably not really be something she should wear.

Just look at it and laugh one time. She will ask you what you are laughing at to which you respond "that necklace just shows what poor tast your ex has, pretty funny" and move on. She may wear it a few more times but that's it.

It's a piece of jewelry. Who ****ing cares. Would you have known otherwise had she not told you it was from a previous BF?

A pearl necklace trumps anything given by an ex. Get busy.

how so? they are both appearance accessories.


do women actually put an emotional attachment on jewelry? Guys only give that stuff so we can get laid or get the bitch to stop nagging us.

yes, a lot of women do. Well, I would, simply because I RARELY get jewelry and it would mean something that he would pick it out for me like that.

weeeell

I have a few things that used to belong to my Psycho. I would love to wear this warm ass ASU wrestling hoody thing. But it has his last name on the back and it would probably irritate the current love.

I kept the thing for my kids. I don't wear it for my love. I hold no more emotional value on it than that, but hell if I wear it.

I gave back most of our jewelry but the few pieces I still have are stored away also for my daughter. huh. Apparently I'm more pack rat than sentimentalist.

but anything he gives you, he "picked out for you".


I guess this sheds some light on why women love cards so much. I see it as an overpriced generic peice of cardstock; she apparently goes the next 2 days with a mental gif of me wandering the isles of hallmark trying to find the perfect card just for her.

Christ, be a ****ing man. Who gives a shit?

Yep. Only if is more than just a piece of jewelry to her does it become an issue.

I have a twinge of guilt if I'm even reading a book the ex gave me. So maybe I'm not a good one to ask. It could also be that my husband HATES my ex.

Did she make a point of it that specific jewelry was from an ex?

Is your girlfriend still wearing the pearl necklace I gave her last week? You'd think she would have washed that off by now.

It is rare for guys to spend the time to do this, so it is special when they do. I keep all the cards I get because they were picked out just for me.

The card itself isn't really the issue. It's the time I spend interviewing the card writer to be sure that he or she has the skill to capture the right sentiment, and then working with the writer on draft after draft to get the wording just right. And then looking over all of the proofs of the cover art, identifying the art that matches the concepts the writer is working on, and then working on various versions, adding a unicorn here or moving a flower there. Producing the card is easy compared to the work that I put in before it gets to that stage.

Unless it's a pearl necklace, wouldn't be too worried about it, dude...

That doesn't surprise me at all, for reasons I can't begin to explain...

Man up and tell her you don't care where it came from, it looks beautiful on her and that's all that matters. She'll respect you for that. Any other action, and you'll come off as insecure. You can't prevent her from having memories of another guy.

It's just stuff.

I would draw the line if she made a necklace out of the used cock ring her ex gave her.

Just one more piece of shiny that I wouldn't have to purchase. In all honesty, jewelry is so stupid it's mind boggling. "Looky! Shiney! Must have!" We're ****ing mockingbirds.

To piss away that much on something that provides absolutely nothing other than being a psychological self-aggrandizing status quo trinket is beyond squirrelly in my opinion. But then, I think that the whole concept of money is utterly ignorant anyway. I mean, it really has no value other than what society as a whole puts on it. It's nothing. It could be shells or beads or kernels of a grain. Even when it was backed by the gold standard, it was worthless. Really, what is gold anyway other than a shiney rock? It's not as good a conductor as copper or silver. It doesn't oxidize as rapidly as some metals, but that's about it. Shiney rock! Got to have shiney! And here we are, killing ourselves to accumulate as much "money" as we can even though it has no real value other than perceived by whatever society is looking at it.

Shiney rock! Ooooooooh!

Nature really let the wrong species become dominant. Humans are ****ing reeruned.

Particularly if it's big enough to fit around her neck. You don't want her to be reminded of that.

I agree, it is overblown, but like tatoos, piercings, etc, it is a way to distinguish one's self from others, as are other status symbols such as cars and homes. Why not drive a basic car or live in a modest home. Everyone has a different sense of value.

LMAO Not what I was thinking, but that would be bothersome

Maybe it's not sentimental to her at all and it's just a nice necklace. A lot of times stuff is just stuff man.

Consider this... if your previous girl bought you a 360 or PS3 wouldn't you be using it? And if so wouldn't you be pissed if your present girl had a problem with you using it?

I'll just leave this here.

Yeah man, like totally. If nature let otters become dominant we'd totally covet clam flesh. That's wayyyy better than shiny rocks.

Great post. Unless she's crying herself to sleep holding the locket and moaning "Billy, I miss you sooooo" don't worry about it. Otherwise you just come off as insecure and jealous.

It's a very common problem actually, Mr. kcchiefsfanGoJC. The beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX and I experienced the same issue - only in reverse. I was given several items by ex-girlfriends that caused her discomfort as she felt they represented a lingering attachment to my past relationships. She explained to me that wearing gifted jewelry from past loves reflects a lack of decorum and propriety.

The beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX taught me the appropriate way to handle it, though. The proper thing to do is for her to sell the stuff and give you the money.

FAX

Not cool.

I guarangoddamntee if it was the other way around she would see to it that you weren't going to wear it anymore.

This.
And if she didn’t, she’s probably not that into you.

sell it buy more beer

hell no ... if they are stupid enough to actually tell you it came from an old flame then they can pay the penalty and have to keep it in a box or something.

Antifreeze will take care of the situation.

Rep! Awesome!

this!

My ex started wearing our engagement ring after we got divorced. I didn't really care that much at the time, although I thought it would have been more fashionable for her to wear it up her ass than on her finger.

Pretty much this. I'm pretty sure my wife still occasionally wears jewelry one of her exes gave her. Hell, it's too bad they didn't give her more so I wouldn't have to. :D

Sorry, she's still seeing him on the side.

The necklace is a sure tell.

My wife wears an ankle bracelet her ex gave her. I assume it's 'cause she likes ankle bracelets. If it bugged me, I'd buy her one--maybe even the exact one--and say, "Here, wear this one," LOL.

Really, though. It probably doesn't mean anything. And, frankly, if it does... so what?

Why do people assume that, once a relationship ends, you have to chuck out all the good feelings you had during that relationship? If it was a loving, deep, and meaningful relationship, and meant something to her, and didn't end crappily, let her keep her little memento. Is there a rule that says, "While in a relationship, you must love the person, but as soon as it ends you must exorcise them from your memory"? That's kinda shitty. I mean, look, she married YOU, and isn't f**king HIM any more, so what more do you want? Why do people act like being in a relationship must be a mutually-exclusive deal, where every ounce of warmth and affection--past, present, and future--must be directed at the other person?

A piece of jewelry is no different from a photograph, a music album, or some other trinket. It's just a reminder of a happy time. It doesn't mean it's a reminder of a happIER time or a BETTER time.

I have a few rings I no longer wear, and six pieces of jewelry I currently wear. Most was purchased by me, a few weren't. But the only thing I wear that my wife gave me is my wedding ring. Which I think is probably the most important piece. (Although I bought that f**ker too, LOL...)

You should buy her a pendant with a scripted "1985" because, I'll bet she'd like that too.

I make sure to take all the jewelery I purchased any ex with me. Why don't more people have this policy? The only thing I leave behind are stretch marks and mayhem. Why don't more people have this policy?

Good policy. But don't leave it where the current SO will find it. Ever. That'll get your ass in trouble, too.

Sell all old jewelry. Period.

I may have left some on her body. Is that bad?

Seriously though, I took the two rings from my ex-wife and have kept them all these years. I plan to give them to my daughters when they're old enough to care - which may be never.

We were talking about this kid from our church and how he used to like her, and he gave her a necklace when he was trying to get with her. Then she said that "Joe" gave her something that she still has while they dated. To be honest I just cant stand "Joe", I think he's an idiot.

LMAO

You guys have me interested, now. I'm going to do an inventory of the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX's jewelry and establish the provenance of each and every damn piece. If she's still wearing some other guy's ransom, it's going to hit ebay before you can say, "Obsessing on the distant past.". Especially if it's worth any money.

FAX

It's of no deep love or anything like that, they dated a couple years ago, and she was very young at the time. It was a bit of an ugly break between the two of them.

Good point, she brought it up, and then asked me if I didn't want her to wear it, and I didn't make a big deal. I figured to play this one on the DL, because I thought it wasn't a big deal, and didn't want to make a mountain out of a mole hill either.

No I wouldn't have known, good point.

LMAO LMAO LMAO

Do you even have a girlfriend?

I wish I could work out a deal where her ex would keep buying her jewelry so I wouldn't have to.

No she didn't.

Hah, you wouldn't stand a chance with this girl. Let's say there is conservative, and then there is her and I, lol.

Yeah I thought the same thing, and that's how I repsonded when she said something about it. I told her I didn't care, and it looked nice on her. You've posted some solid stuff in this thread so far, thanks dude :thumb:

Touche, interesting point.

Two days ago, I was trying to tell my 7th grade daughter about how 7th grade boys, like her first ever boyfriend, don't really know what love is even if they use the word. She got irritated with me and said, "Stop it dad! Mom and I don't really agree with your definition of 'love'!" I said what do you mean? And she said, "Mom and I think you can love more than one person." WTF? LMAO

What she was trying to say is that she and her mother think you can love someone and then at some point down the road love someone else, but it was funny when she said it. Of course, that didn't really have much to do with the point I was trying to get across so my efforts were a complete failure, but I'll keep trying to teach her what I know about the vulgar and dangerous ideas that float around in the minds of boys of all ages.

unless it's a mold of his penis, I don't think you have to worry. about it too much.

Hmmm....what are the chances Pink will find it there?

Send the ex an antifreeze cocktail to be safe.

Maybe it's shitty, but it works.

Not ok
 

I think its disrespectful of a girlfriend to wear an exs jewelry and tell you where it came from
If your gonna wear something you don't bring it up. Also she should never tell you how much anything costs.

where are these idiots coming from?

It's all just "stuff" anyway - who cares? Let her wear it. You have HER...

Wear a pair of your ex girlfriend's panties on your head.

When she brings it up, then your conversation has begun.


In truth, I have no idea where brideowanian's bling that I didn't purchase came from.
This is why some things aren't really worth discussing because I don't really want or need to know.

Isn't bumping old threads for no good reason a bannable offense now?

Be happy with all the coin you saved! I'm sure the other guy isn't...

Wow. This is insecurity at it's finest, bro. She's wearing things because they look good and or make her feel good which, in turn, makes her happy. That's all you should want if you really care.

It's a piece of jewelry. It's not like she's wearing around a lockett with a picture of his dick in it.

I'd start wearing them around my cock if I were you. Then, if she does go back to that guy, you have the satisfacion of knowing your cocks aura is all over them.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

Not for you, and most everyone else up in this joint.