GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!
 

Or I'll kill you.

Man is accused of shooting neighbor over dog's accident

By Steve Schmadeke and Lolly Bowean
CHICAGO TRIBUNE
05/11/2010


CHICAGO -- A retired former Marine who neighbors say obsessed over his lawn is being held on $3 million bond, accused of gunning down a neighbor whose puppy allegedly urinated on the man's well-manicured grass.

Charles J. Clements, 69, of University Park routinely wins the Chicago suburb's beautification and lawn upkeep award but is also known for threatening children or adults who dare set foot in his yard, neighbors said.

On Sunday night, Joshua Funches, a 23-year-old father of two, was walking his fox terrier Gucci when the dog lifted its leg and urinated on Clements' lawn, said Funches' mother, Patricia, 53.

The two men began arguing and at some point, Clements, a retired bus driver, pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Funches, said Will County assistant state's attorney Sondra Denmark.

Witnesses said Funches then said to Clements, "Next time you pull out a pistol, why don't you use it?" Denmark said. At that point, witnesses said they saw orange and white light and heard a loud noise. They saw Funches fall to the ground.

"It was all over a little wooden plaque," said an emotional Patricia Funches, referring to the town's beautification award. "It was a senseless death. How can you take a life for a piece of wood?"

Clements then walked home and changed his clothes. When University Park police arrived, they found the master landscaper in his garage with the door open.

"I knew you were coming for me," he told police, according to Denmark. "That's why I changed my clothes. I knew you were coming for me."

Neighbors were shocked that such deadly violence could have stemmed from a minor fight.

"It hurt me pretty bad, to see a person killed over something so petty," said Joanne Byers, who lives across the street from where Funches died.

Funches had two children, ages 1 and 4, with another due to be born in August, his mother said.

Byers said her own son had a run-in with Clements, once accidentally stepping on the man's grass while walking and chatting on his cell phone.

"Man, he popped out and called, 'Hey watch it _ watch it!' " said Byers.

Judge Marzell Richardson ordered Clements, who has no criminal history, held in lieu of $3 million bond Tuesday on first and second-degree murder charges. He noted that Clements allegedly told his victim he would be found innocent if arrested.

Heh, I think we may have just found Skip!

When an angered crazy old man pulls a gun on you, it's probably not the best idea to tell him to use it. Still, the old man is clearly ****ing insane to take a life over a stupid argument (no matter how important that lawn is to him).

This shouldn't be a crime at all.

:doh!:

Sometimes it pays just to stfu.

Good thing the dog didn't crap on his grass. He woulda taken out the guy's whole family.

What a pointless reason to die.

In all seriousness, there is a significant lack of respect for other people's property by many pet owners. Someone in my neighborhood walks their big-ass dog really early in the morning and I occasionally find their monster turds when I'm mowing. I swear to god when I find out who it is the next turd will be returned to them on their doorstep.

Some jackass in our town is walking his giant ass dog through our baseball field...

I can't wait to dive for a ball in left, and come up covered in dog crap.......

Might have to set some trail cams out, see who is doing it...

I had this happen this winter. This douche would walk his dog every morning about 5:30am and let his dog crap in my front yard. I caught him in the act one day and opened the door and raised hell with him.

About a month later, I caught him again. This time, I went out with a shovel, gathered up the dog log, walked over to his house and unloaded it on his front steps. I have not had another problem with the guy.

http://img.hobowars.com/fn_photos/m_16366_1aiiii.jpg

that poor dog is going to feel guilty for the rest of his life.
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What a ****in psycho. At least for him he's 69 years old so he's lived the majority of his life and he'll probably only spend maybe 10 years in prison until he dies of natural causes (unless he's shanked in the shower sooner than that). Ironically, he'll never get to see or manicure his beautiful lawn again though.

Watch, he'll probably mop and shine the area outside his sell and keep it spotless. Then some crazy huge freak will accidentally spill a beverage on it. It'll be on and the old dude will get shanked.

That was a seriously bad idea.

Agreed, but following through was much worse.

No doubt, but talking shit to someone waving a gun around is Darwin material.

That's true too.

No doubt about that. It's not a good time to have a dick measuring contest.

The kid should've back away slowly, apologized and went home and called the cops.

That would have been a brighter move.

I’d think it common sense to not dare an armed Marine to shoot you. :shrug:

Come back when he's asleep and burn his house down, I always say.

LOL. Or set his lawn on fire. Holy shit, he'd fire bomb the entire neighborhood.

Yeah, I think a couple gallons of Roundup would have beed a good way to even the score myself.

http://www.costsaving2u.com/images/extc1.jpg

he should of chopped up the evidence and used it for fetilizer .....

If I was the widow I'd send him a picture of the lawn every month as it degrades.

[QUOTE=Bwana;6758271]Yeah, I think a couple gallons of Roundup would have beed a good way to even the score myself.


LMAO Nice.

Another good strategy.

You would think he could have winged the guy though instead of going for a kill shot. At least then he might be able to get out to see his lawn someday.

I would think that would get you made fun of at Marine reunions. Marines don't exist to wing people.

The story I heard was that the killer went back into his house and retrieved his gun, followed the guy down the street and then shot him.

Cranky old bastard overly concerned about his yard? Without a doubt.

But it was disrespect that got this kid killed. If the initial response is "Sorry, sir, won't happen again" instead of "**** you, mother****er, my ****in dog will piss where it want to, you old mother****er," this kid would still be alive.

Our mailman walks through our front yard every day. I do get a little tired of it but it's not hurting anything and at least so far it's not wearing out a path to the next house. Although if it does, I will politely ask him to walk around the grass or I'll just move the mailbox to the curb.

Wait a second, aren't handguns illegal in Chicago?

He should’ve just shot the dog. That seems to be the point of friction from the beginning.
Worst that happens then is an animal cruelty charge and maybe a “discharging firearms within city limits" ticket, for which he’s probably fined and spends a day or two in the pokey.

A sad way for a man to die. RIP.

We're a dog family and have always had dogs around, probably always will. So I really don’t care if someone else’s dog hikes a leg in my yard. I’d prefer they don’t drop a steamer but realize shit happens.

It is. But people need to respect their ****ing elders. In no way am I justifying the killing, it was freaking insane, but had the victim shown a modicum of respect, he'd still be alive and kicking. If I was the old Marine and some young little whippersnapper was running his mouth at me, I would just shoot the dog and tell the owner he's next if he doesn't shut the **** up. That way, I still use my gun to answer his challenge AND teach him a life long lesson.

This.

I can assure you that if you shot MY dog for whizzing on your lawn, then I'd kill you. There's absolutely NO reason to kill another human being or pet over a few words and an overinflated ego about your lawn.

I bring poop bags with me every time I walk my dog and I clean up after him. If someone shot my dog 'cause he took a whiz, I'd beat the *****ing living hell out of him.

Then you're a ****ing moron.

i think they should let the old guy go free.

i mean after all, he IS an elder.

Would you run your mouth at me if I had told you to keep your dog away from my lawn? Now, would you run your mouth at me after I threatened you with a gun?

***** no. I just had an incident yesterday about some dude wanting to sell me Xbox's and I walked away.

If it's your lawn and you tell me you don't want my dog pissing on it, then I'll nod and say I'll keep an eye on him next time and then walk off. I wouldn't dare him to shoot me.

See, neither your dog nor you would be getting shot. That was my whole point. Respect your ****ing elders. ESPECIALLY if that elder is a Marine threatening you with a gun.

if youre over say 55 and served in the military in any capacity i believe you should have diplomatic immunity.

Dude...first of all, I'm arguing the fact that you would feel so inclined to shoot my dog should I disrespect you as an elder. Just because the kid showed the guy disrespect doesn't mean he should get a face full of lead.

I agree the kid should have shown him a lot more respect- but that doesn't mean he deserves to get shot because he's disrespectful.

No shit. I told you it was insane. I believe the better course of action would have been to shoot the dog after being challenged to use the gun. Then stick the hot barrel into the dudes forehead and tell him he's next. He promptly shits his pants, gets a burn on his forehead and learns a life lesson.

Doesn't have a thing to do with "respecting your elders".

The moral of the story is when a crazy F#@& pulls a gun on you (regardless of age), you do whatever you can to apologize or comply to get out of dangers way. Then call the cops on his @$$ the moment you're free.

NOOOO! That is NOT the better course of action! The old man, even after being told by the kid to shoot him in the head next time should have told him to "***** Off!" and walked back into his house!

You don't shoot people or pets because someone threatened you to take THEIR life! The kid didn't threaten the old geezer! He simply disrespected him and told him to shoot him next time it happens. And you advocate that behavior????

It's tough guy internet talk is all. He's being a douche.

You see we can stop right there. Trust me when I say you're wrong. You just are.

Outside of defending yourself or your family in a life threatening situation (ex: a home break in), there's really no situation where you should ever pull a gun. I really hope you get that.

No, I advocate shooting a dog over a human being if you're going to shoot something to prove your point. I think it would have been better to shoot the dog instead of killing the owner. There's no way you can say shooting a dog is NOT a better course of action over shooting the guy.

I agree, it is wrong, and I get irritated by that very thing myself. Even worse, our dog smells markings of the other dogs, and feels he needs to remark his territory. :D
But this guy was way over the top of course. Somehow Skip got that reputation, but he clearly pointed out one time, that he didn't care about his lawn. In fact, he said he purposely watered his neighbors yard, so they would have to mow, and he didn't. LMAO

Wow. What an idiot.

He shouldn't have drawn a gun in the first place, and he sure as hell shouldn't be shooting the person or the dog with it... just to "prove a point"....


you like your gun rights???? well everytime something stupid like this happens, you come one step closer to losing them...

i dont care if you shot the gun off in the air next to them... bottom line, this is grass that we're talking about.... the dude didn't sleep with the old guys wife or anything, his dog pissed on some grass.... not like he was going to be able to pinch the dog off....

Did you even read my posts? I'm not repeating myself.

Unless the guy is shooting himself. The ideal solution would've been for him to get mad, pull out his gun, put it in his mouth, and really show the world how much he cared about his lawn.

I still think the ideal solution would have been the 23-year old apologizing and walking back home before the gun was even brought up.

Possibly. But then the Marine would've shot the mailman. He was kind of destined to shoot somebody, I think.

This is probably true. :(

Bet that old man loved the movie Gran Torino. :p

Sounds eerily similar.

GET OFF MY LAWN!!

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gHp1HTY4xK...and+Torino.bmp

It appears that the best solution is to go to the source and ban lawns ..........

The guy should have lived in texas then it would have been all nice and legal.

You are so right. Rep on that one.

I really did just mow and edge my lawn. Any of you c0cksuckers get near it and I'll blow your ****ing head off. :evil:

;)

Damn right! These bastard kids better take a wide birth around my property.

Israelis can't make a good handgun to save their lives. That DE jams at a very high rate. I'd suggest you get yourself a German made H&K pistol. Or a Glock.

BWU-HAHAHAHAHAHA!LMAO