Frazod's Epic Grill Disaster
 

I'll probably regret posting this, but what the hell. I'm sure you guys can use a good laugh for the next few years. This one may surpass the refrigerator, since the appliance in question did not survive.

Yesterday, as I spent about an hour cleaning my grill, I thought that it might be nice to get a new one at some point. The grill is nine years old, a bit worse for wear, small and lacking any extras. I use it pretty much daily during the summer. So today, I planned to grill chicken for lunch. I store my grilling tools inside the grill when not in use, and remove them when I'm cooking. Well, this day, I removed all but one.

It was sunny, so I had my sunglasses on. The inside of the grill is black, and so was the handle of the plastic grill brush/scraper that I neglected to remove from the back of the top rack. I should have known it was there, but I didn't see it. So I lit the burners and went back inside.

I come out a few minutes later with the food, open the lid and am greeted by a flaming mass of burning, melting plastic. Turning off the burners does not stop it. Flaming goo is starting to drip through the holes at the bottom onto the mat. The wife is freaking out, and I run for the fire extinguisher, which I'd never used before. The second lesson I learned today is if you're aiming a chemical extinguisher into an enclosed space, you might want to stand back a bit. Soon the grill, the deck and myself were enveloped in a cloud of white flame reerunant which I can still taste a bit as I type this. But the fire's out. The grill was, needless to say, a loss - I doubt if I could have ever effectively cleaned all that melted burned plastic out of it and had no desire to eat toxic fumes with my food.

****.

So the old grill is on the curb waiting for the garbage man, and after a trip to Home Depot and a couple of annoying hours of assembly I now have the brand new, large grill with a thermostat and a side burner that I pondered buying yesterday (grills tend to be on sale this time of year, too!). I already broke it in too - it rocks! I also have a new scraper with a WOODEN handle.

So I guess all's well that ends well. I'll file this under MISTAKES YOU ONLY MAKE ONCE, and feel relieved that I didn't burn my ****ing building down. And I assume my wife will quit busting my balls at some point in the next decade or so.

So how was your Sunday?

Yesterday my cousin tried to butter a piece of bread, then toast it and it caught on fire in the toaster.
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Did the toaster survive? :D

I was charging the air conditioner in the Highlander this afternoon using one of those little canisters full of cold stuff that comes with the gauge attachment. When I connected the canister's line to the low pressure port, the gauge deal and its faceplate shot off the assembly like a rifle bullet missing my face by a millimeter or two at most. The parts (the ones I could find, anyhow) landed about 50 feet away. Apparently, there was plenty of pressure already in the system.

Anyhow, I was "this" close to being ONE EYE FAX after today.

FAX

Thanks, every other self-admitted act of near disastrous stupidity makes me feel a little bit better! :D

I wish someone had taken a picture of me immediately after putting the fire out, standing there with that OH SHIT look on my face covered in white powder from the extinguisher. I can laugh now, but I certainly wasn't amused then.

When I was 11-12 my dad and I were fixing a 5HP Briggs motor for a go-cart that I had rebuilt. We couldn't get the damn thing to start, so we assumed the the spark plug wire was screwed. My dad told me to hold the spark plug lead wire and while he pulled the rip cord to prove our theory.


I found out the hard way that the motor didn't have a plug wire issue.

Now that your grill is dead can I hear another Frazod haunted house story? lol

Sorry, I've only got one. Although one of my friends thinks her recently deceased mother is haunting her house (objects moving, pictures falling off walls, etc.). Not my problem, though.

My electricity lesson at 11 was don't piss on an electric fence. OWWWWWWWWWWWWW

:cuss:

I meant it tongue in cheek. lol

What did you wind up doing with the chicken?

Cooked it for dinner instead of lunch on the new grill. :thumb:

Cool!

Do you live in an apartment? I'm surprised grills aren't banned from balconies, they have been here for years.

Yeah, I didn't dick around replacing it - I was putting the new one together within an hour of nuking the old one.

Townhouse with an uncovered deck. A bunch of ****wits tried to push that grill ban through here a few years ago but they got stomped hard.

That's interesting. a friend of mine living in a town home said the association would not allow Grill ''Tanks'' on the balconies or decks. but direct gas lines were ok.

It's usually a fire code from the city you live in. I think.

Ah, gotcha. I'm not sure if the city ordinance here applies to townhomes or not. Luckily I don't need to worry about it anymore.

Naperville's pretty conservative. We occasionally get dumb**** liberal nanny laws imposed on us by the People's Republik of Illinois, but rarely do we impose them on ourselves.

Dude, do you actually have a mail man in that one horse town you live in? or do you have to go to the post office to pick up your mail? :evil:

Had a similar experience. I will chide you, however, for not purchasing an "already assembled" grill.

When I had a grill go flaming tits up, I, too, was at Home Depot immediately, rented their truck, and drove home a new and improved baby.

I look at it as a sort of penance for being an epic dumbass (I HATE assembling stuff like that). :D

All things considered, it wasn't that bad. The box didn't fit in the trunk, so I just tied it to the roof the car and brought it home myself.

Yes.

I introduced myself to a cattle fence in that manner when I was 8-9.

It feels like someone is beating you on the back of the neck with a bat. NOT COOL!

About a year ago, my wife decided to reheat one of those Pizza Hut Tuscani Pastas in our toaster oven. What she didn't realize is that the paper lid of the pasta container, and the electric heating element 1 centimeter away from said lid do not play well together.

The toaster oven survived, but the bucket of water a launched in our kitchen into the climbing flames caused a hell of a mess.

The pasta was a loss.

i just started baking after many times grills doing wierd stuff on me

You should get one of those fire extinguishers. That's really fun to clean up after. :D

One time a few years ago I was hanging a new chandelier. I figured I had hit the right switch in the basement to turn the electricity off.. I didn't, I was sent to the floor with I dont know how many volts flowing through my body.

So while you're fresh off the new grill boat, what's the latest in grills these days? Any features falling into the "must have" category or are the spendy ones just like the cheap ones with more flair?

Heh, we got some bigass deluxe grill with the extra burner and all that for a wedding gift. I started assembling it and about 3 pages into the instructions, shit wasn't making sense. It was then I realized that the goddamn instruction booklet had the pages in the wrong ****ing order, so I had to tear everything back down I had done to that point and start over. Oh, and that was after I took apart the booklet and put the pages in the right order.

If I bought a fire extinguisher, I'd just be tempted to jam it up John Mozeliak's ass.

Last week I had interesting experience. The house I was working on had an old floor furnace hole that had been converted to a return air vent.


It looked like it was solid until one missed step taught me otherwise. It was strange when at one moment I am removing a door and the next moment I am staring at dirty laundry in the basement.


LOL, I must have the falling instincts of a pro wrestler. It hurt, but no injuries to report.

Heh back in college I came back for winter break, I was tired and not really thinking straight. I went to go light our wood fireplace(with a gas starter). I literally asked myself the question...no wait do I strike the match then turn on the gas, or turn on the gas then light the match(that's how out of it I was). I finally come to the conclusion that the right answer is turn on the gas then light the match. Afterall it'll be quick to light the match so no big deal.....

Turns on the gas...

strike one....match doesn't light....

strike two....match still doesn't light....

strike three....match lights...whooo hooo!!!!

Brings match near fireplace....

Woooosssshhh....big ass ball of fire comes out of said fireplace....

Fortinately all it did was singe my hair a bit....

ROFL

But I'll never turn on the gas before lighting the match again.....

No ****en doubt!!ROFL

That was a retorical statement right? Women forget nothing!!!

Awesome. I'm sure glad I've never made any mistakes.

I might jack off hogs for a living but at least I'm not a dumbass!





















:D

ROFL^

Reminds me of when we used to grill on our glassed in back porch in the shit hole I lived in my sophomore year of college.

The ignitors didn't work on the grill, so we'd light paper towels on fire and throw them by the burners.

One time I got distracted and let the gas on for too long.

A year later, the hair on my arms was almost fully grown back.

quit being a selfish, lazy, c*nt and move your f'n grill away from the house before you kill someone!

damn tim...i feel for you, but it is kind of funny..glad it didn't escalate into something worse....kudos to your quick thinking.

pics of the snowstorm would be hilarious though.....:doh!:

If you got a gas grill, I hope it was a Weber.

Not with an unemployed wife I didn't. I'm sure they're great grills, but you pay as much for the name as the grill iteslf.

We all make mistakes, but it's how we deal with them that makes all the difference. I had the safety equipment I needed and used it quickly and effectively, containing the damage to the grill itself and the mat below (which served it's purpose in protecting the deck). I would have been in trouble if I hadn't had that extinguisher, though. Definitely something no household should be without.

With the new language filters, you can say "****" without having to insert an asterisk. Here, I'll demonstrate - Go **** yourself, you ignorant ****.

See how easy that was?

Rep - just becaue you and all of us can laugh at your expense. Nice story.it warms my heart to know other males can do some dam stupid shit too...

ROFL

Didn't notice this before.

I guess I'd describe my new grill as a "top end cheapie." It was on sale for $130 at Home Depot. The regular price was in the $200-$300 range. It has a side burner, which I'll probably never use, and a thermostat, which is a feature I'd been wanting as I try to experiment with cooking new things. The nicest feature is the sectional cooking surface, which is much easier to remove and clean. This grill also doesn't require the lava stones, since it has four separate burners and a large cooking surface, indirect heat is provided by turning up a burner in an unused area. I'll probably go through propane faster, but that's not a big deal.

Another really useful thing I picked up recently is a fuel gauge which attaches to the tank. I nearly ran out of gas while cooking earlier in the year - I won't have to worry about that happening again.

12 gauge would have put that fire out.

just sayin.

Yeah, and I'd probably be in jail right now picking ricocheted pellets out of my face. :D

man things have changed. I guess we all get older. Another chapter gone.

Seems like yesterday youd shoot a fridge for making noise. Now you tell us you used a fire extinguisher instead of a shotgun for a tiny 'grill fire'.

I dont know what happened to you man.

sad days for chiefsplanet bros....

Sometimes you have to kill the old item to justify buying a new one.

I bought a new Weber Genesis grill last summer. I use it a lot. I have a screened in porch, so it stays out of the sun and rain. The one it replaced (a old Weber Genesis) lasted about ten years. I actually re-built it and gave it to a good friend of mine who has helped me work on my house. It's a little beat up but still works good enough to cook burgers and chicken. I love the new one. BBQ shrimp on skewers is the bee's knees.

Sounds like you fells have outdoor ovens, so I'm not sure how this qualifies as a 'grill disaster'.

Grills don't use gas. They use charcoal.

That is all.

or maybe it'll be your neighbors kids instead. quit being a ****bag POS, and move your ****ing grill away from the house!

Is it just me or should this thread have been titled:

"How to get a new grill when your wife says no" :D

DT

Let me guess, you're one of those pussies who's afraid to leave the house and drives 20 under the speed limit. Some of the rest of like to lead normal lives.

And have a warning for violating the language filter, too. ****ing moron.

you pegged me. i'm scared to leave the house and you're ****ing reeruned.

By all means, please continue.

ROFL
what a tool! i'll infract you for cussing at my reeruned ass! i'll show you. ****in rent-a-cop

Silly, perhaps. But what you are doing is a bannable offense.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/faq.p...faq_ban_filter

with all that is said on this site, if i getted banned for that, than our reeruned friend frazod will be powertrippin. or as i call it, cryin' like a little b*tch.

You can cuss all you want. You just can't add characters to keep them from getting caught by our filters. If you don't want the filters, turn them off.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/faq.p...aq#faq_filters

bitch

ass

shit

****

I guess since you're diet consists mainly of sperm, grilling isn't an important part of your life.

I won't hit him for "bitch."

He sure is begging for it, though. :D

Interesting. I saw these do it yourself cannisters last week at the auto parts store and was wondering if this was something a non a/c tech could do. Looks like the answer is no.

You're a dumb sumbitch aren't you.

Friday afternoon. Time to get on the road to home. 106 freakin degrees in southern GA. Turn the A/C on while I'm loading the car. Come back outside and the entire windshield looks like a spiderweb. Ouch.

For real? Holy shit, I've never heard of that happening.

i like to grill, but when i do it i move my grill at least ten feet away from the house in case the unthinkable happens. when i lived in an apartment, i moved the grill 10-15 feet in front of the building in case the unthinkable happened. same reason you should wear a seatbelt or a helmet. if you don't then your fuckING dumb!

I don't got that bad of a mouth, do I?
fuck sh*t *ss b*tch c*nt, shooby-de-doo-wop (what?)
Skibbedy-be-bop, a-Christopher Reeves
Sonny Bono, skis horses and hittin some trees (HEY!)
how many retartds listen to me?

I can say, without reservation, that I have not "cooked" plastic in my grill.

At least you got a new one and was not seen running into the woods flaming yourself.

Enjoy the new grill and try not to do anything dumb in the future.

My HS shop teacher said we should always pay attention to detail, you knowl.. the guy with three fingers on one hand and two on the other.

:spock: Seriously, dude?

oh yeah. They even have commercials or safeglass here. But it's typically a chip in the window that starts it. Mine was fine. Next time I'll drive w/windows open for a mile before closing them up.

This guy is Shitsprayer dumb. LMAO

Is that covered by insurance, or do you just have to eat the cost of a new windshield?

Not covered. $200. No difference to me since deductible is $500 anyway.

With a new grill cover and scraper, mine came to just under $180 with tax, so I guess you win. :D

I've heard of car windows cracking/exploding from the extreme heat in places like Arizona, but I wouldn't think about it happening in Georgia. Wow.

i've heard of buildings getting burned down and people dying cause of some ******* idiot who is too reeruned to move the grill away from the house.

sweet

LMAO

Too bad about your grill. The most important thing is that you're all right and that you didn't burn the house down.

I was just reading some cool instructions on how to build your own homemade egg-style smoker. If you want it those instructions, let me know...