Took a dump. One wipe: no mess. Fist pump.
 

Those have to be the best poops ever, right?

Hard and dry?

I was just thinking about taking a dump myself. Will let you know how it turns out!!

On her chest?

Where'd you take the dump? Do you still have it with you?

nothin better than a clean shit

That's called a Ghost. They're pretty rare and awesome.

However, the rarest and most awesome of them all is a Specter. A Specter happens when you take a dump which leaves no trace on the TP and when you look down, there's nothing in the bowl. It's like nothing ever happened.

You will know true glory when you have one of those.

I'm not really a big fan, TBH. Those shits, for me, usually end up being the ones that splash water on my ass. I cringe when toilet water splashes my ass.

Another shitty thread by KCtotheSB

I see what you did there.

Means you are dehydrated, have AIDS and are going to die in the next 24 hours. I will graciously prepare you a burial plot (for a slight fee of course) if you can just paypal me the contents of your checking account. Fret not about getting scammed. I'm on the solid.

thread stinks

Pics

You fist pumped your ass?

Clean Break?

I don't know if this is coincidence or not but since I've been taking fiber supplements (Psylllium husk) regularly I've had more "clean" movements...

Yes, those are quite awesome

Well???

false advertisement disappoints

I guess that's better than fist pump, one wipe: no mess.
Go wash your fist.

Especially in the woods.

Psyllium husk is actually notorious for this.

Hope you washed your hands before pumping and typing.

How does a blind man "know" when he is done wiping?

Feel & Faith

Finger test.....

You fisted your own ass?

Taste?

Seeing eye dog.

getting blowjob from wife while dumping is fist pump nirvana

That's the definition of true love right there

Doesn't everyone visually check? I mean, how else would you ever know? Dirty ass ain't nuthin to **** wit.....

The Bob & Tom show years ago had this discussion. Wipe & Look vs. Feel & Faith

This problem is why I have been pushing for bidets in every roostroom.

Unfortunately, the shit I took this morning was the polar opposite of this kind. I'm talking the kind that comes out all squishy and explosive, and you only wipe once before giving up and just stepping into the shower.

ewwww

do you have globs of shit on your shower floor now?



I personally hate the "mud" shit myself

Nah, when do resort to that kind of thing you do a pretty thorough job of making sure things are clean.

Beryllium

I just jump in the shower afterwards. No paper needed.

Works great except for those butt crumbles that get stuck in the drain......

Blumpkin

Those generally happen to me directly after a shower. :mad:

I'm in deuce dropping hell right now. I sharted in the grocery store last night. I'm afraid to be further than 100ft from a toilet right now.

Love when this Happens.

Same here. JFC. I thought I was ready to take a nice massive dump at work last night, but boy I had no idea what I was in for. The dump last night was satisfying, but then I ended up having terrible stomach cramps all last night which have continued throughout the day. Been in and out of the bathroom continuously . :(

Those are mesmorizing! I think to myself "I know what just happened...but where is it? THANK YOU BABY JESUS!!!"

I hate it when I'm shitting in the morning, and it's "The Dangler". You know what I'm talking about. You've pooed, you think you're good and you're trying to squeeze one last chum from your bum that seems to have implanted itself there with the intention of becoming part of the interior decorating. It's ridiculous. You try with all your might, and as you come to the conclusion that you're being irrational in thinking this can actually hang out with you all day, you wipe furiously trying to just get whatever you can that has already crowned. The real downside is as you stand up to zip up your trousers, you know later on that it's going to itch when it dries...

To eliminate "The Dangler", you need to order some One Wipe Charlies from dollarshaveclub.com. They are literally like the hand of God reaching down and wiping your ass.

I saw that video and there is a glimmer of hope. If they deliver on the goods. I want them sanitized enough that I can reach 4 inches into my colon to get ALL OF IT. All of it.

I ordered some and so far so good. Haven't had to wrangle with a Dangler yet, but they work wonders on the old fashioned mud sprayer dumps.

Mildly aroused.

I hate the "Oil slick" poops. The ones that are hard but it takes you 15 wipes to get it all.

Like wiping a marker

A wierd fact : If your poop floats you have a good diet and will live longer . If your poop sinks you are destined to be cancer ridden and die horribly. True story.