How long does it take you to poop?
 

Well?

<5 min

I usually chill, pull the phone out, read some stuff, light some matches, watch videos of snapping turtles eating mice, things like that

like 5-10 minutes

I don't know but for some reason my wife thinks it's ok to talk to me through the door.

I'm usually in and out in about 3 minutes including wipe time. Sometimes when Iget the tar shits it takes a little longer. Hate the tar shits.

Been having a run of dub minute clean breakers. 5 in a row to be exact.

Most of the time it'd be under 2 minutes.

Im a healthy shitter. My plumbing is like clockwork and i never have to struggle to get it out. I sit. I shit. I wipe and I'm out.

Just a few seconds when I'm out jogging and need to drop a deuce by the neighbor's house.

What's my cutoff time?

About 20 seconds.

depends on the book.

Depends on how much coffee I've had.

Start leaving the door open.

Excellent point. I'm re-reading the Song of Ice and Fire series, and my legs have fallen asleep on me before.

I used to be one of "those" guys that would take nearly 20 minutes per shit. Now I've got it down to around 10 or so most of the time.

LMAO

My wife is the exact opposite. She actually kicked the kids and I out of our hotel room once so she could be "alone to do her business."

Didn't know you were a chick.

I hate it when my head says, "Whew, we're done," but my sphincter says, "Not so fast guys..."

The act is usually around 1 minute or so plus wipe time. However, I tend to sit there a while and chillax.

5 minutes on the average, 10 plus after eating Mexican.

My wife doesn't shit.

or at least that's what she'd like me to believe.

7 years in and i've never seen or heard of her dropping a duece. No joke.

I have awful guts. Usually it takes me 10-15 minutes to poop. I shit out a mixture of earthworms and foamy spoor.

Yup. I can cut and dry under 30 secs, but i like to chill there for a minute or two.

at least they stay outside the door. My wife opens the door, my son comes in, the cats come in, its a royal ****ing circus when I poop.

Im about a half hour pooper. Gotta read, relax, take my time with it.

Depends.


Sometimes fast sometimes slow.

Well she obviously does because she wouldn't survive. lol

Same here.

Very clean and quick, though sometimes soft-serve is on the menu.

I'm not exactly sure, but it is longer than the timer on the automatic lights in the bathrooms at work.

I understand; we've known you are full of shit for some time now. o:-)

You ever ghost poo at work?

Wow you've got automatic lights? Man, I need those EVERWHERE in the house. My wife just doesn't seem to get the concept that leaving the lights on in rooms that aren't being used is an unnecessary use of electricity that costs a lot of money.

Nope. I poop every day in the early morning before I run before work.

If I have to go at work, then something is wrong and I REALLY have to go bad. No ghosts then.

Our bathrooms in middle school were pretty dirty and I used to pray that I would never have to take anything more than a piss in that place. Somehow I lucked out and never had to dump in school. I went to Catholic school so that worked.

15 min at least 4 times a day.

you waste 365 hours a year on poop?

wtf man?

you are wasting your life

Never taken a dump at work in 2+ years. Thought I would share.

My poops usually start out as smallish, but still soft, turds, descend into soft serve, and then finish off as little shit grubs.

When my guts are really bothering me I'll shit a fecal slurry that attaches itself to the porcelain of the bowl. That usually culminates in ass piss that floats on the surface level of the water.

we've got those auto lights in the shitter at work...there's a guy that sits in there and reads until the lights go off, so he hung a flashlight on the tp roll in his "special" stall. I always go in and steal the batteries out of it.
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People who use their cell phones in the toilet are disgusting and should be fed to snapping turtles.

**** that. I take a shit everyday at work. Sometimes even multiple times per day.

Im a clean shitter though. It usually doesn't smell bad nor does it linger.

If you guys are eating greasy, fattening foods all the time, i'd imagine it'd be pretty rancid.

Fast food shits are disgusting.

I take it up a notch. Sometimes i bring my laptop and browse CP.

http://www.us97.com/pages/Hines.html?article=11516551

Someone needs to make a gif of the woman in the video on this link. You'll know when I'm talking about.

Those are parasites.

You should look into that...

I sit and poop. It takes less than two minutes. I run to the bathroom when I start to crown.

It me a long time. I will poop then I still have a little poop left to poop and the harder I try to poop the last little poop the longer it takes then I finally poop and I wipe but then I have to poop some more then I have to wipe again.

Thank God you have free public transit and work for life...

Turtle head peeking

This. I used to be a home-field advantage guy until I realized I could be getting paid to poop.

It's a combination of IBS and horrible diet.

90 seconds at the most. I shit around 3:30 pm everyday. has something to do with school getting out around that time, back when I was just a lil shit

Not long. I want to punch people that sit in there for 20 minutes.

Yeah, everyone takes a phone into the shitter with them. If you get "the call" you know you need to walk by the bathroom, open the door and wave your arm to trigger the light again. We've tried explaining that the timer is too short, but building management just isn't getting it.

Less than a minute. I never really understood the whole magazines in the bathroom thing. I never understood how someone could really take so long that they needed a magazine to read.

Like 5

Around a minute. Since I've been on this clean eating diet, I'm producing nothing but long and slenders. Matter of fact, I'll occasionally get a long and slender, and I don't know if it's the bouyancy or what, but when they break free they'll brush against my butt cheek.

less than a min. to poop but I stay on for a lil bit so the bidet can make my butthole nice and clean.

That would explain some of your posts.

we've got one of those guys too...screw him. I ain't helping him take his shit. he knows where his asshole is.
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:thumb:

Def depends on what kind of poop it is.

Ever since I started playing Candy Crush, 20 minutes. Before that 5-7 minutes.

I'm taking a shit right now.

LMAO

same here.

< 1 minute.

I don't trust you turbo poopers. Slow down. Take your time. Make sure that thing is cleaned up. Visually check....

when I was taking fiber pills to assist me with my thrice weekly birthings, I was shitting like 5 times a day.
It was incredible.

10-20 minutes 3 times a day. iPad, iPhone, or magazines FTW while pooping.

oh lawdy!!

let me check

one, one thousand ...
two, one thousand ...
three, one thousand ...

let's see...

ok how long was that?

takes me a shitload of time

that video was awesome. she takes a bite....then wonders if it's a cherry, so then she eats the rest of it lol

that and the huge glass of water she used.

Girls poop? Gross!

If it's a messy poop i just jump in the shower real quick.

I meant moreso phantoming. Faking poo to get out of doing work. Some youngsters told me about doing it.

6 consecutive clean breakers....nice

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/477...t-pepper-o.gif GIFSoup