ChiefsPlanet

ChiefsPlanet (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/index.php)
-   Nzoner's Game Room (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/forumdisplay.php?f=1)
-   -   Poop PSA: Are you pooping the right way? (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=275522)

RealSNR 08-22-2013 07:17 PM
PSA: Are you pooping the right way?
 
Use a stool. This helpful diagram can show you how:

http://img.wonderhowto.com/img/origi...1796663822.jpg

http://medical-diagonosis.wonderhowt...perly-0139696/

Quote:
Stanford University has revealed a new study that shows squatting is the proper and recommended way to go to the bathroom. What's more astonishing is that this study isn't new. According to Henry L. Bockus in Gastroenterology, the standard textbook on the subject:

"The ideal posture for defecation is the squatting position, with the thighs flexed upon the abdomen. In this way the capacity of the abdominal cavity is greatly diminished and intra-abdominal pressure increased, thus encouraging expulsion ...".

The reason is because of the puborectalis muscle. This muscle acts as a sling for your rectum and maintains continence. When we sit down on the toilet, the hold on the rectum is loosened, but only partially. In a squatting posture, the hold is completely relaxed, allowing for an easier release of your bowel

...Squatting is what humans (and most animals) have done for thousands of years before the invention of the modern toilet. Ailments such as constipation, hemorrhoids, and appendicitis have increased since the adaption of the modern toilet. Research shows that our bathroom posture plays a bigger role in these ailments than a lack of dietary fiber.

siberian khatru 08-22-2013 07:18 PM
The Science of Shitting

RealSNR 08-22-2013 07:19 PM
I guess these people are trying to sell you their stools? I wouldn't buy one. A stack of magazines would do the trick, honestly.

beach tribe 08-22-2013 07:22 PM
I gotta try this shit..........

RealSNR 08-22-2013 07:22 PM
I've already got a stool picked out for this. It's a mini step ladder that is normally stored in the towel closet, but I'm totally breaking that bad boy out and keeping it right next to the toilet. It's the perfect height to perform the perfect squat.

Rasputin 08-22-2013 07:23 PM
Can't wait till my next shit.


This is going be great.

Johnny Vegas 08-22-2013 07:23 PM
also don't forget!!

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/qLo6ioXvw30" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

KChiefer 08-22-2013 07:25 PM
35°? I thought it was supposed to be 98.6°...

Rasputin 08-22-2013 07:25 PM
Thank the big G O D for Chiefs Planet poop threads.

Chief Pote 08-22-2013 07:32 PM
Gimme a break...that's a bunch of shit.

'Hamas' Jenkins 08-22-2013 07:38 PM
I'm in the middle of a creamy-tarry shit right now. Just turned to my right to elevate my feet on the tub. It's a tight fit because my junk wanted to poke out, but as soon as I fit my legs up a sticky turd fell out.

Small sample size warning.

-King- 08-22-2013 07:40 PM
Took this long for you guys to learn about poop 2.0?

Hog's Gone Fishin 08-22-2013 07:40 PM
Who gives a shit


Like this.

Hammock Parties 08-22-2013 07:41 PM
There's no greater joy in life than setting up with my laptop on a TV tray in the shitter.

KCUnited 08-22-2013 07:46 PM
Try that overnight oatmeal recipe NewChief posted and you could point your asshole to the sky and still go all Mount Vesuvius.

RealSNR 08-22-2013 07:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiefButthurt (Post 9907155)
Gimme a break...that's a bunch of shit.
You should give it a try. If it works, your name should be changed to ChiefButtcomfort

CrazyPhuD 08-22-2013 08:08 PM
Sorry you're still doing it wrong!!!

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/0v7MdlSFjgM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Rain Man 08-22-2013 08:11 PM
I'm not sure how good I am, but I practice every day.

ClevelandBronco 08-22-2013 08:19 PM
Poop down. I think I have it pretty much mastered.

ShortRoundChief 08-22-2013 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs(exceptQB) (Post 9907188)
There's no greater joy in life than setting up with my laptop on a TV tray in the shitter.
I really, really didn't need to know that.

All your best material is probably just shat splatter on the screen.

GloryDayz 08-22-2013 08:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SNR (Post 9907109)
The seat is closed! And if it were open he'd fall in... So yeah, that's a great idea!

LOCOChief 08-22-2013 08:29 PM
Oh boy this really works.

Ace Gunner 08-22-2013 08:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs(exceptQB) (Post 9907188)
There's no greater joy in life than setting up with my laptop on a TV tray in the shitter.
didn't you make a thread about this shit:D about a year ago?

stonedstooge 08-22-2013 08:33 PM
A little difficult to fap in that position dammit

Mother****erJones 08-22-2013 08:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GloryDayz (Post 9907363)
The seat is closed! And if it were open he'd fall in... So yeah, that's a great idea!
Not unless you have an Alexis Texas ass :)

dannybcaitlyn 08-22-2013 08:36 PM
Hmm, Maybe my legs won't fall asleep this way.

digger 08-22-2013 08:42 PM
Well No Shit!

TribalElder 08-22-2013 08:57 PM
YouTube Japanese squat toilet

T-post Tom 08-22-2013 09:55 PM
I use my French chambermaid for a stool when I'm in the loo. Then she wipes my arse.

listopencil 08-22-2013 10:39 PM
Q

jspchief 08-23-2013 04:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stonedstooge (Post 9907393)
A little difficult to fap in that position dammit
You fap on the toilet?

BlackHelicopters 08-23-2013 04:46 AM
When does the regular season start?

tomahawk kid 08-23-2013 05:32 AM
I find that a turkey club from the cafeteria at work helps expulsion a great deal.

BlackHelicopters 08-23-2013 05:54 AM
Just tried this technique with a stack of old Playboys as the stool. Good results, does anyone remember Miss September 1996 ?

King_Chief_Fan 08-23-2013 06:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tomahawk kid (Post 9907928)
I find that a turkey club from the cafeteria at work helps expulsion a great deal.
LMAO

mdchiefsfan 08-23-2013 06:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by theelusiveeightrop (Post 9907932)
Just tried this technique with a stack of old Playboys as the stool. Good results, does anyone remember Miss September 1996 ?

Nope. Pics or GTFO! (Had to bold the part I meant or this could have gotten awkward)

BlackHelicopters 08-23-2013 06:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mdchiefsfan (Post 9907951)
Nope. Pics or GTFO! (Had to bold the part I meant or this could have gotten awkward)
Nothing wrong with the love between a man and his magazines.

ShortRoundChief 08-23-2013 06:23 AM
Clay's idea of the perfect shit:

http://i42.tinypic.com/2yythfc.jpg

mdchiefsfan 08-23-2013 06:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by theelusiveeightrop (Post 9907954)
Nothing wrong with the love between a man and his magazines.
LMAO I was referring to you being on the shitter, with said magazines giving your body the angle mentioned in the OP, as what I needed no picture off...

Magazines? Bring 'em on!

Baby Lee 08-23-2013 07:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TribalElder (Post 9907467)
YouTube Japanese squat toilet
My thoughts [nearly] exactly. Poor Karl Pilkington.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/pTyxo5j4Hug" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

petegz28 08-23-2013 07:39 AM
CP has become nothing but a board full of shit talkers!!!

Rausch 08-23-2013 07:43 AM
Saw the roundest turd I've ever seen a human lay last night. This thing was bigger around that any potato I've seen. I flushed the toiled 7 times trying to rid the room of this beast and it was so massive it didn't even move.

Forget going down - IT DIDN'T MOVE.

Was unsure if I should contact maintenance or EMS...

seclark 08-23-2013 09:03 AM
****in coon's been shitting on our south patio every night this week without any problems. maybe I should try to shit with my hands and feet on the floor/ground.
sec

plazahawkeye 08-23-2013 09:14 AM
I like to poop like tubgirl! Google it if you haven't seen it.

Beef Supreme 08-23-2013 09:17 AM
I don't think I can get my knees that high.

kepp 08-23-2013 09:21 AM
And I bet Mr. & Mrs. Taxpayer paid for this study...awesome.

BlackHelicopters 08-23-2013 10:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mdchiefsfan (Post 9907968)
LMAO I was referring to you being on the shitter, with said magazines giving your body the angle mentioned in the OP, as what I needed no picture off...

Magazines? Bring 'em on!
I understand your original sarcasm. Can't embed Miss September 1996 from my iPad . Sorry.

bevischief 08-23-2013 11:27 AM
Casseling 101.

jspchief 08-23-2013 11:29 AM
The whole "squatting is better for shitting" thing is old news. I'm pretty sure it's even been discussed on this forum before.

RealSNR 08-23-2013 11:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jspchief (Post 9908435)
The whole "squatting is better for shitting" thing is old news. I'm pretty sure it's even been discussed on this forum before.
It's a public service announcement.

Most people know not to stick their dicks in suspicious-looking holes in the ground. But for those who don't, that's pretty valuable information.

RealSNR 08-23-2013 11:43 AM
Think of it this way:

Colon health: Now THAT'S a repost that we can all get behind!

ShortRoundChief 08-23-2013 12:19 PM
I apologize as I am very set in my ways. You CANNOT teach an old dog new shits.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:27 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.