You get blamed for stupid crap too?
 

I drove my wife's van to the grocery store last night. It's about 2 miles away...

Today I get a nasty text from her about leaving her on empty.

Really?

Sounds like more then a empty tank going on . You leave the toilet seat up ? :p

"It might rain tonight, I think the windows are down in the Jeep"

Nah - I put it down.

ROFL Text her back "first world problems"

Honestly you know I've never had such a problem, but this is as good a chance as any. I'd like my name changed back please. This name compels me to want to say prohibited racial words and I can't take it anymore. Thanks.

Any chance she was speaking metaphorically?

A full tank raises all ships

Someone's a One Piece fan. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Have had that conversation myself. When I was done with the van there was still a quarter tank left. Hmmmm Now who used that gas again?

How did you respond?

Mine would have been something like "Yeah sure did that 5 mile round trip used up all 20+ gallons. We better be getting that thing into the shop!"

And you outed yourself for knowing where it's from. You've got good taste man. :thumb:


Thanks Phobia? Flopnuts? Some mod? Either way. THANK YOU!

Don't drive the wife's van car etc anymore. It's worked for me for 18 years ;)

I was about to do it, but saw it had been done. I'm assuming Phil is lurking in his own thread. Now there's an accusation!

"From the pint I used going to the store? Really?"

Drove the van a couple of years back. The wife ran errands the next day and then bitched me at because the gas light came on when she was heading home.

lolwut?

Why does she need the van? Does she need to drive herself to the kitchen?

Make a joke about emptying your man tank. You know what I mean. Oh yeah.

Or she had a lead on a sale on Celebrator and was going to surprise you with it. In that case, you really should have filled the tank up.













(don't taze me, Pink. Show up and post more and we won't feel the need to snipe at you. :) )

I told my wife I was taking her truck to work one morning, but ended up taking mine. A few days later she text me that same shit "thanks for using all the gas in my truck"

I said:

**** off, I didn't take your truck. Stop letting that ****ing thing run empty.

Winner

I always let my wife drive whatever is on empty.

She has more free time than I do
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And I suppose it would be stupid to ask if when you were going out the door she asked 'If you take my van you'll fill it up right?'.

I hope not. I like my food to be edible.

Love and Marriage Love and Marriage, Go Together Like a Horse and Carriage...

I did my 13 years in the pen, its gonna be a reeeal special one that gets me back in.

Tell her you will no longer be picking up groceries, since you clearly suck at it.

win-win

She may be setting things up to frame you for a murder.

"Officer, the tank was full when he left, and it was almost empty when he came back. And then I found the body of this woman that I hate in the basement."

What was your escape plan?

The wife was having a long agitated conversation with one of her friends on the phone the other day. After she hung up she walked into the living room and I said ",What was up with that?" She starts to tell the story and pretty quickly gives up and says ",nevermind...it's too hard to explain." Later that night she's giving the cold shoulder. I finally asked what was wrong, and she goes ", I just can't talk to you about anything." WTF??

He kept criticizing her for leaving the car low on gas, and then framed her for a murder.

I went to Hollywood to pursue my dream, she called and said come home or we're getting divorced.

So i came home and we got divorced anyway.

About 6 months into our marriage my wife accused me of leaving the toilet seat up "all the time". I told her that was absolutely not true, that I never leave the seat up. She insisted that I did. Finally, I told her to follow me to the bathroom where I had her demonstrate how I left the seat up. Because the way it was mounted, the toilet lid would stay up, the the seat would instantly fall back down despite her best efforts to make it stay up.

Yeah, I hear chicks don't like it when their man stars in gay porn. Whodathunkit

This is just the beginning. She's ****ing a 20 year old, count on it.

Every kitchen in town.

I don't think she could take that after last night. Plus she knows she would be dead and they would never find anything. I'm not doing that twice in my lifetime.

LMAO true story, not long after arriving there, me and my bud go down to a trendy coffee shop on the Strip one saturday morning to wake up and take in the scene.

As soon as we walk in we notice a group of 7-8 guys, every single one had perfectly coiffed dark hair, ultra tan and were buff as hell, they could all have easily been fashion models, handsome dudes, but they were OBVIOUSLY gay, leaning all over each other, arms around each other... staring absolute holes in both of us.

I was tripping, it was like "here are these guys who could have almost any woman in town, and they're staring at me and my bro" LMAO

They looked like a gay gang.

I too had a Hollywood dream, but alas, there could be only one Bobby Brady.

LMAO

13 months was enough for me.

I bet that's only half of the story.

His ex knows ;)

No wash and wax either? Your an awful husband

turn it into a rape van

Divorce.

here's how married life works for me in regard to your situation;

*I borrow the wife's car, which is usually nicer than mine
*I look at gas gauge and if the tank isn't full I stop at the gas station and fill it
*if it needs a wash/vac, I have it done
*if it needs service, I have it done
*I go do my stuff, finally
*I return car
*wife uses car and notes I filled tank etc, becomes my sex slave


simple, yet expensive pleasures -- wives

I get blamed for stupid crap - such as keeping down Native Americans because I mentioned the Cowboys vs. Redskins game.

Racist. Reported

What is a Setsuna?

LMAO good sport

Das waisis

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/.../157/122/f.gif

I'd just like to make it clear that it wasn't me. I probably would have made it worse.

This seems similar to, "Did you eat all the Oreos [or other tasty treat]!?"

Answer--No, I didn't eat "all" the ****ing Oreos. I might have eaten the last two, but I sure as hell didn't eat "all" the ****ing Oreos that I didn't even know we had until there were only two ****ing Oreos left.

Do I get blamed for stupid shit? Got a free ****ing hour to listen?

LMAO

golly, you've gotta do all that just to get laid?

I don't have any keys to her car and she has none to mine unless I give them to her. After she totaled her car that was paid off I said no more car payments and she get a brand new one she is paying for it. I am about to retire my 1997 Toyota t100 with 270,000 plus miles on it for a 2007 GMC Envoy with about 53000 grandpa car for half the price with all the options on it. I usually don't let my daily driver get below half a tank.

had one close to that
was doing field service and she told me if I kept on the road I wouldn't have a home to come back to
so I gave up a lucrative and fun job, came home
and 6 moths later left her because I couldn't stand her at all
the only thing keeping use together was us being apart

much happier now

Go boy!

Hey McFly! Anyone home? Hello?

You do things for bitches. You know this.

Whatever the argument was, this means she was in the wrong.

I'm gonna have to get a username change, aren't I?

All of the time, but the truth is, I'm Tim Taylor.

Tonight I was using a new skid loader and had my boy on my lap. Wife and someone else show up so I put up to see what they need(one was the owner of the Skid loader)....and I get distracted by the boy climbing on me etc....and I make a douche-rookie mistake. I pull the Emergency open handle on the left side of the door instead of the open latch.

I've been hearing about that for 20 minutes. yes, I have my head in my ass sometimes....and yes, I get blamed for those things as well as things like you've mentioned.

I've been blamed for rain when she wanted to go run before.

she's at home most of the time, so I only need to do these things once or twice a month. but ya, had I known what I now know, I'd have chosen hookers instead of a wife that wanted a college degree and didn't use it, kids that tore up my house and cars plus cost me atty fees keeping them out of jail and then they eventually wanted to go to college too...

ya. hookers. hookers and thailand vacations. I'd probably be kickin it with the locals in hawaii right now, gettin a favor from a cute wahini..

but no -- I had to be like "the way normal folks be".

Ha, the paths we choose....

Here is one for you. When you are watching TV/Movie with your wife and then you decide to get up and either use the 'john' or go to the kitchen, does her brain immediately go into computer recall and she asks you to do not one thing but several things while you are up? And the several things are never about food/beverages i.e. to the movie you both are watching but rather mini-chores "while your up could you put the laundry in the dryer for me please?

Phobia's whole scenario last night is the outdoor version of what I just mentioned in my situation except she didn't ask him prior she just expected it to be done because 'while Phil is out he may as well do this' and she was expecting him to read her mind and while I am up I may as well be useful:).

Just more evidence with a woman's brain that both halves are connected and why they can multi-task a helluva a lot easier thus can think of 'sh**' for you do to while they are watching TV etc.... or whatever they are doing. It never ends:banghead:

A whiney little bitch, from what I can tell.

Why you gotta be like that man?

A Gundam anime character.

Is this something specific to the black community? I have no clue.

Just fill er up , peace at home. Say my bad. Pick ur battles. This isn't onej

Did you have some Jell-O shots tonight? Your spelling seems off?

No, it's not. She already came to my way of thinking. Filled it up herself on her way home from her hair appointment. But I would have been happy to do so.

More like weebo.

Butthead

McLuvin would be a good choice for you.

You only drove 4 miles. The empty tank isn't exactly your fault.

Are you a true rooster in your household? Doesn't sound like it.

Drove the wifes car for the first time in 4 months. Noticed a knocking sound after 3-5 miles. Pulled over and checked the oil. zip...none...nadda. There is a "change oil" sticker on the windshield which read @ 90k. Looked down at the odometer = 100k. Of course there is no stupid oil...the thing hadn't been changed for 13 flipping k.

And as Phobia puts it, it was my fault for driving it 3-5 miles!

A new engine later it runs great!





She had the gaul to ask me "when they put in the new engine, will they put new oil in it?":)

WOMEN