A way to stop the insanity and lessen the pain: A reformed Chiefaholic's advice
 

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EDIT: I originally posted this after watching the Chiefs blow a 28-point lead in the latest playoff defeat. Given some of the sentiment I've seen on the board today, I thought this might be a good time for a bump.

Most people here don't know me, I've been around since day 1 (literally) of CP, but I almost always just lurk b/c I don't have much to add to the discussion. However, given how much pain this franchise caused me up until 2006, and given how much the advice below helped me live a much happier life during football season, I thought I might throw my 2 cents in.
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I was originally going to post this in one of the numerous “I’m so crushed I no longer care that much” threads, but I thought it might get lost there. I want to pass along some advice that was given to me on this very board many years ago, advice that really changed my life (at least from September through January).

A number of years ago a very wise poster on this board advised me to just turn down my level of caring. I wish I could remember who it was, but he said that if you do that, you can still enjoy the wins but the losses won't get you so much.

I did that over the course of about 8 years starting with the No Punt Game.

I have to say, it's really nice. If you can pull it off, then when the Chiefs win it's a nice bonus for your day but if they lose you just shrug and go on about your business.

Yesterday I spent the commercial breaks doing some work on my laptop and chatting with the guy sitting across from me in the McDonald's where we were watching it. At 38-10 he said, "Well I guess that's the game, huh?" and my response--one borne from years of pain at the hands of this franchise--was to say, "Not with the Chiefs. If anyone can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, it's this team."

Then, when Smith fumbled and the Colts recovered, I just chuckled and told him, "I've seen this song and dance before." Every time Luck completed a pass to a receiver who had no KC player anywhere within 5 yards of him, I shook my head and wondered how some people keep their jobs, but I can't say I was ever really upset about it.

After Bowe was ruled out of bounds I didn't even have much of a reaction, honestly. I just turned back to my laptop and finished what I was working on.

It was nice to not be so vested in this team that the loss ruined my day. I remember many times (such as the 1995 playoff debacle) when I was in agony for days--WEEKS--afterwards. I remember one time punching the floor so hard that I damaged something in my hand and couldn't grip well for several weeks.

Not anymore. Whoever that wise poster was, he saved me from this franchise. I still lurk here all the time, and I listen to the games on the radio while I'm working in the yard or around the house, but I rarely dedicate an entire 3.5 hour block to sitting down and watching a game. The exception is the playoffs; I figure that’s still worth spending the time/effort to watch, although I will try to do something productive during commercials, etc. so I don’t feel like I’ve lost so much if (when) the Chiefs choke again.

I used to be one of the most avid fans. I knew every player’s history, strengths and weaknesses, etc. I kept up on all the details of all the games going on around the league that might in some small way affect the Chiefs. I analyzed every facet of upcoming games and could rattle off various statistics at the drop of a hat. And I was utterly and completely crushed when the Chiefs lost key games over and over again. Such devotion absolutely took a toll on me: the frustration, the anger, even the fights it would cause in my personal life after yet another showing of ineptitude by the Chiefs.

Gaz one time wrote about being speechless with rage. I was right there with him. And then, after the No Punt Game, I realized my life is so much more than just following a group of very wealthy athletes (many of whom I truly believe care less than the fans do) drop game after game, year after year.

The result is I've been able to enjoy the good times and just shake my head and chuckle at the truly awful times. The lack of stress has been wonderful, and I'm no longer so crushed by the latest disaster to come out of KC. I’m attached enough to enjoy the success, but I’m detached enough that the absolute failure doesn’t get to me that much.

Maybe it's time for some of us on this board to try to follow that poster's advice. Many already have, judging from what I've read the last 21 hours.

If you haven't done so already, maybe you should just sit back and consider where football really ranks in your life. Regardless of what happens on Sunday afternoon, it's not going to change your life that much. You’re not going to get a raise or a promotion if they win, and you’re not going to lose your job if they lose. It’s just a game, a way to pass a few hours on Sunday afternoons.

The outcome of a game won’t change your life one way or the other. After the game is over, go for a walk. Have a nice dinner with your family. Make love to your significant other. Read a book. Go to a movie. Play catch with the dog. Spend time with the kids. These are the important things in your life, and none of them are in the slightest bit affected by whether the Chiefs win or lose a game.

Of course I know some people will deride me as a heretic for suggesting that maybe KC Chiefs football isn’t and shouldn’t be the focal point of our lives, but hey, I’m just sharing what was shared with me many years ago. It really helped me. I still enjoy the wins but the losses don’t leave me feeling sick in the pit of my stomach like they used to.

Just a thought.



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TL;DR: I used to passionately follow the Chiefs until someone on the board suggested that I not care so much about it. Over several years I’ve slowly adjusted my level of caring and now I can still enjoy the wins but the losses don’t crush me the way they used to. Try it, if you can, it’s actually pretty enjoyable.
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Pioli and Cassel flipped my switch off. I feel no pain today.

I'm scared it's going to get flipped back next year, because Alex Smith gave me hope yesterday for the first time.

I love it.

It's refreshing, isn't it?

I was fortunate enough to have already dialed down my care-o-meter prior to Cassel showing his true colors, and I can honestly say that there were games where, instead of yelling and screaming, I literally laughed out loud at how bad Cassel was.

Alex Smith played lights out, but I'm here to tell you, it's false hope. if those ****s couldn't beat that shitsack team of warmed-over douchebags when leading 38-10 in the 3rd qtr...who are they gonna beat??

Seriously. That was some ****ed up bullshit that I've NEVER seen before. Houston turned the ball over and quit scoring altogether to let Buf back in. it's uncanny...

This airing of feelings is just not my shot of rot gut

The Love Boat

Nice sentiment, but when we finally win something, I'll be enjoying it more than you will. Can't appreciate the winning if you don't endure the losing.

Excellent post.

At least it was exciting and new.

This 20 year rerun is not.

I care. Losing stings. It sucks. It's frustrating.

Does it effect my personal life? No.

Does it effect my social life? No.

Does it effect my professional life? No.

Losing is part of the fun. Yes, the Chiefs take it to the next level.

I drove from STL to Indy for the game and dished out good money ( being a student makes it harder ), but I didnt have a fight with my loved ones or anyone.

The team is bound to be better. Yes, we've heard that before, but now it its different. We have a competent QB and a good coach.

I understand the posts here and venting, but why do we need these types of " don't go insane threads"?. It is a game at the end of the day.

Chill.
Posted via Mobile Device

Yeah, you probably will enjoy it more. But that's not to say I won't enjoy it. I have enjoyed the wins this year, and at the same time the losses just haven't gotten to me the way they used to.

I would say I enjoy the wins about 60% as much as I used to. On the other hand the losses barely even bother me anymore. I would rather enjoy the wins about 60% as much when the losses only bother me about 10% as much. It leads (for me, YMMV) to a better overall experience.

*shrug* I don't know, I suppose this way of approaching things isn't for everyone, but it really helped me. I just wish I could remember who it was that gave me the advice.

Well, I'm just trying to "play it forward" so to speak. It was a post exactly like my opening post (albeit much shorter) that helped me out. My football experience has been much better as a result. So I'm just trying to pass along the good deed.

As I said, this approach isn't for everyone. I will readily admit that I don't get as much enjoyment from the wins as I did when I was a rabid fan. On the other hand my overall enjoyment of Chiefs football as a whole is much better.

Anyway, each to his own. I'm just trying to do for someone else what was done for me all those years ago.

That is indeed the trade-off, and was my immediate reaction to the outstanding OP. But I think it's one I'm willing to make.

Great post.

I was a rabid fan for most of my life. I got emotionally invested in the games and yelled and paced and stuff. The first chink in that armor was Greg Robinson's defensive debacles. But even then I cared immensely.

And then there was that horrendous Herm Edwards game against, who else, the Colts. Herm elected to play it conservative and punted to Manning in overtime, with the expected results. That game hardened my heart because I realized that I was rooting for a team that just wasn't very smart. I started to question why I cared. But even then I cared.

This year, it wasn't even about the Chiefs. It was about the league in general and how terrible the product is that they're selling to the public, and how crassly they're using my beloved sport as a mere moneymaking tool. I started feeling really uncomfortable around Week 7 or 8, and in Week 14 I laid out my "Crisis in Faith" thread. I have become determined to bring my level of caring down to a very low level, because it's just dumb to root for different divisions of a nationwide business conglomerate, and that's what we're doing.

It's going to be a hard habit to break, and that's what the NFL is relying on. But they've come out time and time again with messages that their ideal fan is someone who doesn't know much about football and who climbs on bandwagons. If that's what they're gearing their market toward, that's the type of fan we should all become in order to maximize our enjoyment.

If you follow a team through thick and thin, you're a dinosaur. The league is sending that message loud and clear.

Somehow I get the feeling Clark's spies are reading CP today and informing him that it might take a Joe Montana bobble head doll to get some fans back next year. That pisses Clark off - it leaves less cash for the Mrs to buy shoes and she might come home early, so the sluts have to suck, swallow and go, no cuddle time!

I think there's a healthy amount of emotional investment and an unhealthy amount. The gameday threads here on CP could be used as an advertisement for lithium.

A battery? ROFL

OK, Sorry.....

It's really just part of getting older, I think.

But when this team has a legit shot at a Super Bowl...and it will happen, because it's already happened 4 times in my lifetime...we're all going to fall hard again.

I think that's why we can't quit any of this...because at some point the Chiefs are going to give us that feeling we had watching them as kids.

That's the tough thing. Wins are fun.

The other thing that hooks a long-term fan is the fear that they'll walk away and the team will win a Super Bowl the next year. If I take next year off like I'm planning, I have this fear that the Chiefs will go on and win the Super Bowl just to screw me over. But then I remember the 90 year-old Cubs and Red Sox fans who probably thought the same thing before they died.

This is one of your better posts.

This is where I'm at. Desensitized. If the chiefs win a SB in my lifetime, I'll prolly forget to watch it.

I feel exactly the same way.

At some point it becomes more about experiencing the story of your team than actually getting hardcore joy or sorrow from the games.

I mean, I was apathetic over 10-12 of our games this year. I just can't get excited for 17-16 wins over the Texans, or whatever it was we did to the Raiders. Meh.

But I still watched every second, because hey, the Chiefs are doing things and I wanna know what they're doing.

This is my team, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to read the next chapter. Because it might be a good one.

Yeah that's bullshit.

We'll be in the AFC Championship and you'll be biting your fingernails.

If only we could be young again. And I hate that I can't begin to describe, acurately, to my two sons how cool football used to be. Perhaps it was my youth, perhaps it was just that it was before the game went gay, but I swear 60s, 70s and 80s (even the 90s) football was WAAAAY better than what we're seeing these days.

I know there's a concerns for concussions and I can respect that, but the overt protection of QBs (who can run at will but can't hardly be touched), defense being all but outlawed, and the sick desire/mandate for 80-100 points to be scored in a game has made the product just less. I'm sure it's added in some demographic, but not one that ever played IMO.

But I totlly hear what you're saying...

GoChiefs with three straight excellent posts.

I want that Wendler to stick. :p

Too optimistic. In 1994 we were probably the second best team in the AFC. In 1997 we were 1/2 with Denver. But during all those years the NFC was playing at a far higher level than the AFC. We might of had a 15% chance of winning the SB one of those two years. I don't think we were were in the top 2 AFC teams any other year.

(By all those years, I meant before 97).

I felt we had a chance in 1993, 1995, 1997 and 2003.

Maybe we did, maybe we didn't, but the feeling existed within me.

I haven't felt that way since. Hence, not a lot of disappointment.

I agree with all except for 2003. That year I felt like we were really a 9-7 team with a few lucky bounces and Dante Hall getting a few crazy returns thrown in to hide the defensive suck. I did think we would win in the first round of the playoffs, but I didn't expect to go all the way.

By '94 I of course meant '93, the playoff loss to Buffalo. Montana gave us a chance, but Buffalo was too loaded on offense during those years. I really think they were the better team.

I thought that Denver and KC were very close in '97. It was the best defense the Chiefs fielded in the Marty/Carl era. The playoff game came down to a few bounces of the ball.

Every other year we were too weak on one side of the ball to be a true contender, IMO.

I've not reached the point of not caring at all, or quitting. I'll never do that. I love the game and the history of the game too much to consider it. What I have taught myself to do, though, is to drastically shorten the amount of time I spend hurting after a loss. I was at the game, and I've never been through anything like that within a 3 hour span in my life. Ever. I went from a permanent smile at halftime and a feeling of pure elation, to literally feeling numb and that my heart had just been ripped out of my chest...as we all did. After we walked out of the stadium, it was time to move on. That's what I've learned to do.

I now choose to live in the moment. Being emotionally invested in the game is half of the fun for me. Watching a game and not caring for the outcome is just shitty. Why watch at all? 3 hours of my week spent cheering for my team and acting like a fool emotionally isn't unhealthy if you can put the loss behind you and move on. I don't let it ruin my week anymore.

This loss sucks, and badly. I'll never forget it. But I'm not going to let it dictate my happiness either.

Chin up, guys....and don't quit. That's not the answer. Just teach yourself to handle the ups and downs in a different way.

Right dude, you care so little you posted a novel...ROFL

I see what you're saying. Maybe in hindsight that's true.

But at the time, I didn't feel that way. And that's why I was so disappointed.

That's why "getting over" yesterday isn't an issue for me. I simply haven't been emotionally invested all year. It was like an extended exhibition season.

I quit caring when we got Herm and then followed with pioli and cassel, so the loss did not bother me. I mean, I soooooooooooo hoped they would get the victory, even if they got blown out next week it would have broken the streak.

Nope.

It is what it is, we are the cubs of the NFL.

That was harsh bro! Doode was sharing, and that's cool...

I'm a lawyer. I write for a living. A lot. *shrug* It's what I do.

I'm just trying to pass along the good advice I got. If it helps anyone like it helped me, then it's all good. :thumb:

You were watching the game in a McDonald's?

I guess I have the advantage. I went down the line and kicked 44 Boars square in the nuts and now I feel all better. Issue resolved until next year.

I think he gets a Big Mac for every sack or something. What was that deal?

Pretty much how I feel the 2003 loss was the last one that really got me. This was ironic comedy. Also knowing that this wasnt a likely contender for a solid SB run helped.

Clay is saying heartfelt things with no trolling. Incredible.

Yeah, I was doing a divorce on the side and the McD's where I live has a great play place where my daughter can run around and play. I wanted to keep her entertained while I worked, so that was the best place.

I'm not sure if an edit will move this up, soooo.... bump.

At least I know the playoffs are pretty much a non issue now.

i stopped caring the day bonogrbaccasselsmith arrived

Really? Honestly want to know why.

Chargers scored 21 pts in the fourth to win.

We are going to be looking up at the division for awhile.

Chiefs cant even give themselves a break... it amazes me that I and 70k brave the cold for that kind of showing.

I really thought it was going to be a good contest./.

On the road against the 7th ranked scoring defense. SD scored more in the 4th than Baltimore allows per game on average.

Got the benefit of some calls too BUT AT LEAST THEY WENT FOR IT! Had they not tried, they would have surely failed. There's a lesson there...

This is a really nice thread.










Too bad I've already murdered my whole god damn family last night !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check the post date.

I went down to the lower bowl to hang with Arrowman..five minutes left in the game...

...and he was gone. dude never leaves early, until last night...

Great thread. I do allow myself to become emotionally invested during the games. I'll threaten to stab a player's eyes out with a fork when they drop a ball or miss a key block. I'll yell horrible things at my TV set so often that my kids are used to it and just laugh at me. And I'll shout and dance around when they make a good play too. It's fun. But when the game is over, it's over. When the season is over, it's over. Back to real life. There's just too much that is so substantially more important than how my team does on a given day. Or a given season.

I get more upset when the Chargers win than when the Chiefs lose because of the SDSMPM.



* san diego sports media propaganda machine

Your advice is to not care as much?

Genious!

no1curr

Football at McDonald's?

Yep, I had (have) a young daughter who needed a place to play, and I wanted someplace I could get some work done at the same time so I needed wifi and electricity.

I learned long ago to at least try to do something productive during the games so if (when) there is an implosion I won't feel like it was a complete waste of time.

Last night, wearing Red on Red, the Chiefs were so bad, instead of that stupid 7 Nation chant, the crowd should have sung the Rains of Castamere.

Red on Red Wedding.

I remember the thread, some of the best advice ever from Cp. I'm glad I am not the only person to take it to heart. Wish I could find the thread to give them their due. Wss it Jim?

That was the Bills game, bro.

Seems like a year ago.

So your daughter doesn't have toys to play with at home? And you don't have wifi or electricity at your house?

He is one of the Founding members that came over from the Star bb. He used to post more but like myself is content to sit back and lurk.

Of course she does. But she's an only child and she likes to play with other kids. so taking her to McDonalds for the play place has been my thing for about 5 years now. She gets to play with other kids & I get to get some work done.

It may have been Jim/Logical. It sounds like something he would say, but I can't remember for sure who it was.

Yep, I was the 8th person to register. Been hanging around (mostly lurking) ever since. I never changed my handle, I just don't post very much at all.

LMAO

I remember flipping back to the game during a commercial break from a movie and seeing just how empty Arrowhead was in the 3rd... sad sad sad, I dont blame anyone for leaving early or turning the game off early.

It wasnt nearly as close as the score made it look.

I honestly believe Manning could have scored 40 on us every game the last two years if he had wanted to.

But our offense is threatless, so he just runs clock.

I was genuinely surprised to find out they didnt get past 29 points, figured they'd wanna twist the knife a bit.

The Donks knew we sucked and flipped us the bird with that fake punt play, they had 4th and nine yards and they called that play, pretty ballsy call unless you're playing Chiefs.

They turned it over and we got a whole ****ing 3 points.

There's nothing to fear when you play this team except Charles.

Stop him, the team is dead.

Wow, I guess I take losses pretty easily.


When you have no control how can you get upset so badly it ruins even one day?

Likewise!

I have never had a problem with you, but then again I haven't really had a problem with many of the people on here except for Denise. And Gochiefs when he first started, although he got better as the years went by.