My day - a snippet of life.
 

I got up and put some laundry in because today is laundry day, and then I went to the dry cleaner to drop some shirts off. It's always awkward to go to the dry cleaner because I've been going there for 18 years and I never asked the guy's name, and after the first few years it seemed inappropriate to ask.

Then I went for a run. In Mile 1 I found a smart phone, which oddly is the second smart phone I've found this week. I ran 11 miles, which meant that I had to carry the phone for ten miles. I had my sunglasses on, and they're really dark glasses with a sporty frame. Age is all about the eyes, and when you can't see my eyes I look younger. I know this because women runners smile and say hi when I'm running in my sunglasses, and they ignore me when I'm wearing my regular glasses. Women like a young guy, apparently.

I thought the phone was locked and didn't bother checking until I finished my run. I swiped it and it opened, which was good. There was a text from somebody offering a $25 reward for returning it. I pondered looking for naked pictures on it, but it was a guy's phone so I didn't. I dropped it off when I went out for lunch, and got a phone message where the guy said thank you twelve times in sixty seconds. He said he owes me a favor so I'm going to see if he'll kill someone for me. That would be really cool.

My wife took me to lunch and she decided that we're going to start trying new places. She took me to a place that had rusty light fixtures and odd tables, but that's part of the upscale trendiness. I only saw one thing on the menu that I liked, and it turned out that I didn't like it so I only ate half. I got a kale salad on the side and it was good, but the water glasses were only about six ounces and I'd just run 11 miles, so that was no good. You had to refill your water glass yourself, so it was up and down, up and down. I didn't get any of the good-looking desserts and when we left I told my wife that I was never going back unless it was just for dessert. She seemed disappointed that I didn't like it.

We decided to go to a movie, so we ran downtown and saw the one where Michael Oher's mom goes into outer space and gets blindsided. It was in 3-D, which I don't really get. I usually don't notice the 3-D part, and I'm always worried that the 3-D lenses will scratch the lenses on my regular glasses. Interestingly, if I watch a 2-D movie without my regular glasses, it looks just like a 3-D movie with my regular glasses and without the 3-D glasses. I like the continuity of that.

It was a massive movie theater, and the movie with Michael Oher's mom was in the second-to-last theater, which meant going in, going left, going upstairs, going left again, turning right, walking down a long aisle, turning left again, and then one final right turn. As the previews were ending we realized that everyone else was putting on their 3-D glasses and we had none. The woman in the row ahead of us said that the ticket taker was supposed to give them to us, and he was at the main entrance. I had to run out, turn left, turn right, run down the aisle, turn left, turn right, go downstairs, go right, get our glasses, and then do it all in reverse. I got there right as the movie started, and hoped that no one would throw popcorn at me because I was breathing too loud. It's not worth dying for 3-D.

We watched the movie and it was really good. I had junior mints and an enormous Pibb Extra. I felt bad about all the oxygen I was using when Michael Oher's mom really needed it. The movie made me not want to be an astronaut, and then want to be an astronaut. But I wear both regular glasses and 3-D glasses, and I don't think you can wear those if you want to be an astronaut.

We drove home and on the way I pretended my car was a spacecraft. I docked successfully with the garage. Pretty good day all in all.

Welcome back Chris.

Rico approved post.

my day
me and my youngest son went to see a comic book science exhibit at ASU ( i like in arizona)
so we took the bus to the train
yes they have a light rail in phoenix,I used to work on it, but for only 2 weeks, I was using mass transit to get to the place to build mass transit,and the earliest I could get there was 15 minutes to late
the art was okay
lots of batman 66 photos, some toys and comics from the day,
the exhibit took 20 minutes, the ride back and forth took 3 hours

high light a batman helmet from the 60's a Mr Fantastic's costume streched, and a quilt made of comic book pages

we had a good day

In before the poll.

Thanks for returning my phone!!
Thanks for returning my phone!!
Thanks for returning my phone!!
Thanks for returning my phone!!
Thanks for returning my phone!!
Thanks for returning my phone!!
Thanks for returning my phone!!
Thanks for returning my phone!!
Thanks for returning my phone!!
Thanks for returning my phone!!
Thanks for returning my phone!!
Thanks for returning my phone!!

I really enjoy your posts/threads. I'm starting to realize that more and more. I'm off to the Favorite Poster thread to weigh in.

Next time call from outside if you can get a vantage point of the guy at the counter. When he answers the phone say "Oh hi, is this joey?". Hopefully the guy will say no, this is so-and-so and you will then have his name. You can walk in and use his name to help commit it to memory. You should be able to use the phone to get his name assuming the guy at the dry cleaner has / answers the phone.

Also, if you visit the "Is Pepsi ok?" thread you will have a more thorough understanding of why that Pibb Xtra was available to you as opposed to a Dr. Pepper.

Classic Rain Man.

Did you have a sugar crash after the junior mints and the enormous Pibb extra? That seems unhealthy.

11 mile run is impressive. I went running this morning and I quit at 5 miles. The holidays really took a toll on my fitness.

I went to the Wichita State basketball game today with a good friend of mine. He is a friend of Greg Marshall and I got to meet him after the game. He seemed like a very down to earth guy, but I only talked to him for about 5 minutes.

Came home from the game and the wife had made fajitas with homemade tortillas. All in all it was a pretty good day.

Nice.

Not going through that phone puts you in the minority. Sad.

I woke up at 5:00 AM because the house was too hot. The electrical heating unit in our heating system went out a few weeks ago and our HVAC company put in a temporary one that is either on or off. Its been over a week and they still haven't come to put in the permanent part. Normally we can turn it off at the thermostat, but sometimes it stays on and that's what happened last night. I had to get dressed at 5:00 AM to go down to the garage and turn off the air handler using the switch on the front panel. After I turned it off, I went back to bed.

My alarm went off a 7:39. I had to go to driving school today in order to get a diversion on a speeding ticket I got back in November. First speeding ticket of my whole life. I didn't have to be at traffic school until 9:15, but I set my alarm early in order to try to enjoy some of the morning. I was really tired though and laid in bed until 8:11. I got up, and wet my hair down to comb it. It looked good enough to skip a shower considering I was only going to traffic school. I got dressed and had an apple fritter from Kroger (my weekend treat) and a cup of coffee. By the time I had finished those and used the internet to research a question from work, it was time to go.

But the time I got out the door it was 9:02. I debated about stopping for coffee refill in my 20 oz insulated coffee mug. I was running a little late and I wasn't sure if they would allow me to have coffee during traffic school. But traffic school would be a whole lot more tolerable if I could sip on coffee all morning. I decided to stop. The coffee refill was $0.97 and I plunked down my $1.02. The convenience store clerk was an older man and i had completely stumped him with my impromptu math problem. He finally figured it out and explained that I had thrown him for a loop because most people would just give him a dollar. I explained that I had to get rid of those pennies some how. If you do it right, you'll always have between zero and four pennies in your pocket at any given time.

By now I was running a little late and needed to drive fast to make it to traffic school on time. It was still early enough in the day that traffic wasn't too heavy. I hit all the lights just right and drove straight to it since I had google mapped the location last night. I might have arrived by 9:16 or 9:17. It was a second floor room with a 42" TV screen on the wall, a desk at the front and 4 rows of folding chairs in front of the TV and desk. The driving instructor asked me to take a seat and didn't seem concerned about my coffee mug. The room was mostly full. But luckily I found an aisle spot, affording me a little extra leg room and maybe the ability to slide in and out of the room easily in case nature called. Ten minutes later, class began.

go on

I liked the plot twist of speeding to traffic school, cdcox. It really calls into play your subconscious objection to the penalty and your resistance of the state.

The instructor then revealed spycam footage of cdcox speeding to class as an example, and failed him on the spot.

that is ****ing weird. the EXACT same thing happened to me today.

Friday night
went to bed.
woke up at 3am; couldn't sleep
slept on the couch watching Ancient Aliens
woke up by the wife at 0730 and told to get in bed.
slept for 1 hour.
text by brother to ask about time to meet up for bike show
texted by brother asking if we should ride or drive
long debate in my mind
Mind said "**** it", let's ride
Rode
Saw wool and bikes.
froze.
I can haz cheese burger
froze
had beer with brother at his house
froze
locked out of house / garage code didn't work
garage code worked.
let dogs out
dogs shat
fed dogs
wife returned.
procured beer and tobacco for my lip cancer
log on to Chiefs Planet for knowledge and wisdom.


......you know, a normal Saturday

I think his brilliant use of the coffee as a strawman saved him that fate. It was a masterful subterfuge of Keyser Soze proportions.

Today I managed to:

Do my laundry
Do the dishes
Clean the kitchen
Complete my tax return
Work 7 hours

Beat that.

99 Problems But a W2 Aint One

Before class began, the instructor encouraged us to use the restroom because the first break was going to be a "loooooooong" time coming. Earlier I forgot to mention that I sort of needed to poop as I was leaving the house. But by the time the urge hit, there wasn't time and I just suppressed the need. At this moment, I was good to not poop, but I decided it would be best to start the class with an empty bladder given my plan to sip on coffee all morning. There were two single occupancy restrooms one for each sex. I was fourth in line, and squeezed out a few drops without event.

The driving instructor was probably around 50 with thinning hair and probably was over 3 bills. I liked him okay. He kept the class interesting, didn't get derailed by some really dumb questions, and didn't repeat himself too much.

I was a bit of an outlier among the clientele. Most were younger than me and of a different socioeconomic class. There was one guy who looked like a possible peer. I felt kind of stupid for getting a ticket and having to spend my Saturday morning here. Clearly I was going to fast that night in November and vowed to stay within 10 miles of the posted speed limit in the future, which seems to be acceptable to law enforcement agents in my city and state.

By the time the first break rolled around I was having significant cramping. I'm a morning pooper, and this sitting in class all morning wasn't working for me. The instructor indicated that we had six minutes and thirty seconds for our break and there was only that single occupancy restroom. Most of the class headed outside for a smoke. I debated what to do. One guy headed into the restroom while I was debating. I decided I needed to take the plunge. I blew out tons of gas, which partially relieved the cramping, but didn't produce any poop. Uh oh, I think forgoing the poop when I had left the house had resulted in constipation. I exited the restroom after about 3 minutes feeling a little better.

By the next break my coffee mug was empty and I had gas again. I took my coffee mug out to my car, and walked around a bit farting away from class mates.

Overall the class was okay. I leaned that the new recommended hand position is 4 - 8 instead of 10 - 2. If your air bag goes off with your arms in the 10 - 1 you are likely to get two broken arms in what is called a "night stick break". I also learned a new way to position your side view mirrors that reduces the size of your blind spot.

He told about some of the former students in his class who if they needed to merge into the left lane, and their left turn light was out, would instead use their blinker to signal a right hand turn. I expressed shock. Some of my classmates were oddly quiet and looked own.

Class was supposed to get out at 1:30 but we were a few minutes late. He dismissed the people who were there for an 8 hour class for lunch. Then he began to pass out the class attendance certificates to the 4 hour people. He implored us to check the spellings of our names, birthdates, and DL numbers. If we left the room with an error on our certificate, it would cost us $15 to get a new certificate printed. He made made a 20 year error on my birth date so I waited for him to print a new certificate. I would normally be ticked at such an error, but on the brink of achieving my freedom from traffic court jail, I was in a good mood and joked with him about how I wish I was 20 years younger.

I drove home with my hands in the 4 - 8 position. Life's been good to me so far played on the radio. As I pulled away from an intersection, a mini cooper blew around me as my Mazerati does 185... came across the speakers. I let him go without challenge. Once he got if front of me he was content to drive at the same pace I was going.

and the moral of the story boys and girls...is that life is shit

I can't believe I read that whole post and there was not 1 single mention of a theater bj.

What that 70 year old ex-chief did was to rob us of all the joys of the theater.

**** YOU MAD TEXT CHECKING POPGUN POPCORN COP

It was 2:09 when I got home and we had planned to go see The Wolf of Wallstreet at a 4:00 matinee. My daughter's stomach was bothering her, so we decided not to go.

Time for a late lunch. I was going to splurge and eat a Totinos three meat pizza all by myself. Normally I'd get a sausage and pepperoni combo, but they they were sold out at the grocery store. My wife asked me if I wanted to split it and decided I could get by with half. I made a cup of coffee while I waited for the oven to heat. The box said to bake it for 13 to 14 minutes at 450 F, but since we have a convection oven I decided 10 minutes was about right. While it was baking I carried out two large boxes from the space heaters we had bought when our heat was off to the recycle bin. They had been laying around our house because the bin was full, but the trash company emptied it yesterday so there was room for them. I also made my wife a cherry coke, cracked open a few filberts, and reviewed my retirement plan earnings from 4th Q 2013. It was a good year.

The pizza was pretty tasty. I ate it in my chase lounge chair while watching a documentary about the USS Indiana during WWII. Tragic story. I dozed through probably half of it but caught the gist of it. Near the very end of the war they were sent toward Japanese waters without a destroyer escort and without being warned of Japanese sub activity in the area. The torpedoed ship wen under within 12 minutes. Even when they didn't arrive at their destination the next day no one came looking for them. It was like 4 days later when a plane on routine scout mission spotted them. Like three quarters of the crew perished. Apparently after they were rescued, the Navy made the captain the scapegoat.

I wasn't completely filled up by the pizza so I decided to have a couple of pieces of whole wheat toast and reheated the half cup of coffee left over from lunch. As I started buttering it, I wondered why the butter was so soft? ACK it was stick margin! And I had used it for the chicken with mushrooms and sherried cream sauce last night! I quickly scraped it off the toast and got the butter out. The toast was enjoyable.

The rest of the afternoon/evening was a mixture of Chiefsplanet, TV, and napping. I really wanted to do something worthwhile like working on Sandbox or work, but I'm usually sleep deprived by the time the weekend arrives and napping wins the day. Since I have a 3 day weekend I decided to give the day to laziness. At some point I reheated the potato soup I had made on Wednesday night. The soup my daughter and wife ate had Crackerbarrel Sharp Cheddar Cheese melted in it, but I preferred my soup without cheese. While I reheated theirs in the microwave, I tried an experiment with mine where I reheated it in a teflon skillet over very high heat. The idea was to caramelize the milk and potato starch. The soup developed a nice golden color that I was trying to achieve but it was a little too thick and not that interesting. Oh well.

Thank you. Up until reading this post I felt old. Seems that my life has a whole bunch of spice in it.

Ir's good to know I provide a useful service. But, had my daughter been feeling well we would have gone to a movie and had dinner out. So you should take that into account.

Would you have thrown popcorn at anybody?


As a late update, I bought the new Springsteen album and listened to it while researching races. I wasn't overly impressed by anything other than Dream Baby Dream, which is a great song.

I signed up for the OC Half-Marathon in Orange County, and am about to pull the trigger on a half-marathon in Grand Junction, Colorado. I like running in that part of the state because I can take the train and don't have to drive over the Continental Divide, which makes me uncomfortable from a "don't want to die in a car wreck" way.

LMAO

Cdcox is my father.

Chaise lounges are awesome. We bought it at the hippest furniture store in town a couple of years ago. My wife picked the WWII documentary. The sleeping part is an old man thing.

Rain man give me that smartphone I can use it and dump this old phone.
Posted via Mobile Device

There's very few people who could have posted that full account of their day and I would have taken the time to read the whole thing. I can't really say it was worth my time investment, but I don't regret it either. So, you should feel good about that overall.

I found the "Michael Oher's mom" comment funny. I generally refer to her as "That woman who is completely annoying in every movie I've ever seen her in." That can led to confusion with Drew Barrymore (except E.T.), but I'm sticking with it.

Noted. That takes care of the time you devoted to napping, now what about the time you spent warming up Wednesday's soup?

:D

It's a damn good scratch-made potato soup. Took all of 15 minutes to make dinner since I only had to reheat it; thereby freeing time for... uh... more napping.

In 18 years, have you ever seen a listed price for any service? Dry cleaners and the doctor are the only ones who get away with that.

And have you ever been charged the same price twice for the same service? I don't go all that often, but I swear I bring in the same thing and it is a different price every time.

That's a long time without going to the bathroom. Like on a TV show. They never go to the bathroom. Even on 24 where they show a whole day, Jack Bauer never went to the bathroom.

Our dry cleaners closed one of their stores a couple of years ago. To encourage us to use one of their stores in a different location, they gave us a $75 coupon for free dry cleaning. I was really impressed by that and have kept my business with them.

I have no idea how they do business. I supposedly get the fifth item free on dry cleaning, but I have no idea if that happens. I don't know what they charge or how consistent their prices are. He just says a number and I give him the credit card.

One time I only had two pairs of pants, and that let me do the math. I was aghast at the price, but I have no choice.

We pay the dry cleaner about $75 a month and we pay $220 a month for a maid service at home, and we pay another company to do our yard work that runs another $100 per month. We also average about $400 per month on restaurants. I've kind of pondered if I could combine all of those at some point and hire a live-in maid, but I don't think that's enough.

Yep, that's how they get ya. Now that Obamacare has solved the nation's medical issues, they need to do something about the deceptive collusion and mystery pricing by the nation's dry cleaners.

Also, just admit to what you're REALLY thinking about regarding the live-in maid.

Is it that obvious?

I'd make her wear one of those French maid dresses. A proper maid must wear a French maid dress.

Yeah, pretty obvious. Although the only live-in maids I'm familiar with are Alice from The Brady Bunch and Florence from The Jeffersons. I can't remember if that lady Schwarzenegger knocked up was live-in.

I'm pretty sure the Schwarzendiddler was a live-in. I think he visited her room a lot.

It's a gift. in this case, so cold there was no room for pee pee.

.....well thats a given.....

oh my god i met a woman who was so pretty and she was from the Ukraine she a maid i was like yeah come over to my house and pick up the clothes.

in Soviet Russia, clothes pick up you

Ukraine. ... awesome!

I have no life.

After reading these novellas of daily life, I now know my no-life is no less boring, and it further strenghens my belief that each day is just another meaningless momemt in the inevitable march to death.

FYP:D

Marching towards death on a daily basis.

as Dennis Leary would say "Life Sucks, get a ****ing helmet"

Coast or No Coast?

funny you should ask. I coasted, & I think I would have made it but I lost my nerve at the last second. It look like I was going to clear the garage door by about an inch or two at most. my wife was in the car, and she has never seen me do it. I think she still thinks it's impossible even though I've done it twice in the past 12 years

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/r21CMDyPuGo/maxresdefault.jpg

One does not simply

Run 11 miles.

Damn.

I woke up quick at about noon. I realized that I had to be in Compton soon. I got up and started to get my stuff together, but first things are first so I downed a couple of stiff drinks so I could prepare for my old lady’s inevitable bitching about my friends.

I was just heading out the front door when I noticed some young black fellows out in the street throwing out gang signs. I decided to grab my Mac 10 and an extra clip before bailing outside. I pointed my weapon and just as I expected, those fools took off running. I jumped in my Ford, hit the gas, and peeled out.

As I picked up speed, I turned my Alpine on and let it play. I was pumping some old shit by NWA. Gangsta Gangsta, if I recall correctly.

On my way through town, I rolled by the park and spotted some knuckleheads out there, cold shootin’ some hoop. I decide to swing by the place my homeboys chill, downed a 40 and did some coke. Before I left, I hit the Bacardi and then headed over to my girl’s house.

Boy was that a mistake. Right after I got there, she said something that made me mad so I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy-ass weave, but she didn’t know when to stop so I reached back like a pimp and slapped the hoe. That’s when her dad got involved, which was a mistake on his part. When he stood up and started to shout, I threw a right cross and knocked his old ass out.

To make a long story short, I never did make it to Compton.

It seems like you were in the same movie theatre featured in the great 80s film, "Bachelor Party."

I swear that's a repost.

Yup...sure is. Great post.

I have actually been thinking lately that I wish there were more threads like these...like, along with the "Official Random Thought" thread, have an official "I Have a Random Story" or "I'd Like to Chronicle My Day" thread, or an official "tl;dr" thread for you homeslices who like to clown on me and others for tl;dr'n around.

This was my day yesterday...

Woke up
Fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs
Drank a cup
Looking up I noticed I was late
Found my coat
Grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs
Had a smoke
Somebody spoke
I went into a dream

Did you read the news?

Oh boy!