If Chiefsplanet were a football team
 

Austin Chief- would be the owner. Although if you asked Saul or Pat they would say Phobia is like Dan Snyder with his constant meddling and abuse of power making the team worse.

Direckshun- Would be the GM. He posts more depth charts than most NFL front offices.

Milkman- would be the coach. Like Bill Belichick he knows the game and also is an angry asshole.

Sorter- Knowledgeable about defenses would be a great DC

Hamas- Probably the smartest poster on Chiefsplanet would be the QB.

Billay- Would play the flex position in the offense.

Livesteam- This guy puts the special in special teams

Zach- Would be the field goal kicker with his soccer backround

Laz- Captain of the cheerleading squad



This thread sucks

Quoted For Truth

Would Buck be the TE or the WR?

Hootie would be the tackling dummy.

I'm that Aussie Punter that you know is there but you're not sure what his name is.

DaKCMan AP would be the Awesome diva RB or WR.

Give me the damn ball.

Loochy would be the RG that is in the game for almost every single snap, but nobody notices or cares.

LJ?

Definitely cak'n patna' but DaKCMan AP doesn't beat women or throw up the rock.

Clay can be the water boy.

LMAO

Honestly you are one of my fav posters.

/hug

Dayze would be the blitzing CB that is put in solely to take out Manning's knee.

Dane would pay Dayze's fine.

Who's the free safety that allows deep completions over the top for fans to rage about?

I'd like consideration at "team cook".

If CP was a tree, what kind of tree would it be????

Around here absolutely nobody wants to be TE.

That would be the very definition of the word moderator.

Has to be maple.

Broad, majestic, but susceptible to storms and you have to clean up after it every fall.

Pelini wouldn't make the team because he's from Nebraska and those players don't get drafted any more

I guess I'd be the undrafted rookie signed and brought into camp that is fighting for one of the last roster spots.

I could fill the role of blocking tight end that can't catch so nobody notices.

I'll be the team financial advisor of all things not worth the money.

I'd be the third string linebacker. When he gets in the game and makes a tackle everyone says "Who?".

I would be the starting ILB that only plays on obvious running downs.

I'd be a special teams gunner.

ROFL

Zach has a round back?

I assume the correct answer is AIDS tree, and it is probably on fire.

Who is the biggest, fattest person here? We need them for NT.

Exactly. ****ing n00bs...

frazod

Joey could be the strength and conditioning coach

I'll be the star CB and whenever I make a play on a WR, I'll repeatedly call them mediocre and claim I'm the best in the league.

...no doubt planted right next to a dumpster, which is also on fire.

I'm a nobody on CP and I'm 6'4. I could contribute to tight end by committee. I'm not making any promises though. bad knees.

TMI

I'm in for that. I could help...

This thread does suck

GBlowfish- would be Mitch Holthus summarizing the games

Pam Oliver's Forehead-would be the Bob Sutton of this board because he is stubborn and doesn't see what is obviously in front of him

CallMeSquidwad (aka BlackBob)- certainly Kendrick Lewis as the most hated POS on the Chiefs

Rainman-would be Derrick Johnson as he is consistently good but under appreciated

Buck-would be Donnie Avery as we got a guy from another team but for every good moment there are too many drops

Well he does already go by the nickname 'the fridge'. :shrug:

Always looking to add new talent.

Marty would be Mark Donovan. Gotta run the communications son!

What are the cap numbers for all this high priced "talent"?

3 twinkies & a bottle of MD 20/20 pp

Hootie would be Haley

Came in, stirred shit, then got booted

I can see Dane getting all bent out of shape over a candy wrapper

Big Smoke = Dwyane Bowe.

Or I could he Hali or Houston I suppose.

I'm a Tight End

ROFL

I could see you using this line at a bar

How many kickers can we carry on the roster?

Put me in at RB or FS and watch the magic happen, Coach.

Salame is that creepy doctor feeling up Eric Fisher on the sidelines. Anyone help with the gif?

These are actual positions frm web page
Owner-- Zach- Would be the owner with his soccer background
GM- Direchshun
Director of College Scouting -Sacc
Salary Cap Analyst - Cdcox
Director of Player Personnel -Booger
President - AustinChief
Team Historian - Rainman
Director of Video Operations - Clay
Director of Sales - Laz
Director of Special Events - Pete
Director of Fan Experience -pete in a dual role
Customer Relations Representatives - Dane,Hamas("The **** you mean you are not renewing?")
Security Manager - MoHillbilly Kind of like when the stones hired the Hells Angels

LMAO at the Customer Relations Dept.

http://i.imgur.com/ZdP79.gif

:hmmm: Needs a bit more "creepy".

Probably more "doctor" as well..

Phobia...I'm not sure exactly how fat he is, but the dude is fast as hell....

I would probably make DJ's Left Nut or SNR the GM and slide Direckshun into that Director of Scouting role or whatever the title was that Dorsey held prior to becoming GM of the Chiefs.

ChiefsandO's would be in charge of the official Chiefs twitter account.

Terrence Copper comes with me if I'm the GM.

We're a packaged deal. Take it or leave it.

Stanzi too? Love it or leave it? :)

Crazy Coffey: Security.

While Stanzi is the perfect QB, you gotta admit he'd make a pretty terrible Chiefs Planet poster. He gets left behind.

Bowser would be the guy flying the plane pulling the banner saying to get these ChiefsPlanet nuthuggers off the team.

It's like that George Carlin quote: "Head Start and No Child Left Behind...someone is losing some ground here." The individual losing some ground....that is Stanzi....and aturnis.

KnowMo would be the owner's wife.

Probably a pine. Lightweight. Has to shine year round because football season is so short for the Chiefs. And there's needles all over the place. Pretty easy to break as well.

Stevieray: The Chiefs fanatic dude who dresses up like Elvis during games.

Luv Arian Fosters baby momma

I can't wait to sail passes over the middle to get you De-Awesomed.

I ain't exactly chopped liver, ya know.....

Who's the Official team spokesman? Ala

http://www.spoofnews.co.uk/wp-conten...-al-Sahhaf.jpg

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/rz03OiU29Hk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Which CPer is that?

TheGuardian.

LMAO

Chris616

Like Greg Hill?

If only you could talk smack like that boy wounder.

Thats better

Yes. Milkman would be the coach. He does know the game and he would be fitting as an angry asshole. However, the CP team would need someone to keep him at ease...someone to alleviate his symptoms of anger before they get to the point where he becomes angry and temperamental to where he experiences a Manager Lou Brown-esque Major League 2 heart attack scare. We would need SOMEONE to keep him leveled out...possibly put him on pre-game benzo's. We will need....a Chiefs...shrink. WHOA, IT'S ALL COMING TO ME. For Milkman, we will need a shrink, and the PERFECT man to keep him leveled out is hands down, Chiefsshrink. It's the PERFECT fit.

Think of all the times Milkman has lost his temper on here, calling people dumbasses and what not, just for Chiefsshrink to chime in with his insight, resulting in a response from Milkman that is generally along the lines of, "you know, you really got through to me, Chiefsshrink. I perceive your posts as gospel and am so thankful that you are here with your perspective to help me out. You have made me realize that not EVERYONE is a dumbass and that there are AT LEAST a rough estimate of 0.01% of people out there who fit the category of not being a dumbass. Thank you so much, Chiefsshrink...for the interpersonal insight you've given me that will prove itself to be so helpful to me in life and most importantly, for your vast football knowledge that I ALWAYS agree with 100%."

BAHHHHHH!!!! Not only wouldn't I be able to say this to someone with a straight face, but I can't even maintain an internet straight-face. Milkman has been absolutely brutal to Chiefsshrink, at times and it has been comical as hell. Not that I really have anything against Chiefsshrink...I just think the clash of those 2 (primarily Milkman lashing out at Chiefsshrink and Chiefsshrink usually maintaining his Stuart Smalley-esque composure) is comedy gold. Whenever those two have interacted, I've grinned.