Direckshun's Comic Book Battles
 

This thread is a pretty simple concept, and I will carry on with it as long as my imagination allows.

Are you a fan of comic book characters, both well known and obscure? So am I, for much of my youth. When I was a teenager and bored to shit with classes in high school, I'd author battles between two comic book characters of my choice. As you can imagine, I got laid a ton.

When I get some down time, I'll do the same here in this thread.

You only need to provide me one thing: the two heroes you want to see fighting.

(a.) You name the characters. (It can be any two characters, preferably from Marvel but I can swing any characters thanks to the Internet.) Preferably keep it to two characters as that's easier to write.
(b.) You are free to name any rules you want to establish (i.e. "Superman can't use his heat vision!" or whatever), if you wish.
(c.) You are free to name any setting (i.e. "they start off 100 miles away, on the moon"), if you wish.

I'm happy to do nearly any battle. It's always preferable to do fighters who are somewhat evenly matched, but I've written my fair share of ass-stompings too.

May the games begin, or may this thread slide into eternal obscurity.

I'd like to see a one on one battle between DC's Clock King and Marvel's Cypher. Thanks.

Jubilee vs. Dazzler in a laser tag arena

Rictor (with powers) vs. Avalanche at the bottom of the Grand Canyon

Spawn vs Anyone.

Spawn wins.

Batman vs. Spiderman.

Batman doesn't have any Anti Spider Bat Repellant or weird shit like that. He just has his standard gear with things like grappling guns, batarangs, etc.

This.

you jacked me.

I want spawn vs venom~

Spawn against Venom would be an absolute bloodbath. Slaughterhouse.

How about Nick Fury's toys vs. Bruce Wayne's toys?

One hundred yards from each other in the vacant streets of downtown Gotham, Cypher finds himself unsettled by the motionless stoicism of the Clock King. In a sterling three-piece suit and opaque clockface glasses, the Clock King's unhalting, statue-esque gaze would have been darkly soothing, were it not in what could possibly be a fatal confrontation.

The Clock King stared on, his clockhand cane-sword tucked under his arm. He is careful not to move, not to speak, his face expressionless and his breathing regular. Well familiar with Cypher's hyperability to decode any and all communication, especially nonverbal communication, the Clock King kept completely still so as to not give anything away.

But of course, not doing anything is still doing something, and Cypher quickly discerned that this act was designed to conceal the Clock King's plans. What those plans were.... remained a mystery, however. Cypher decided he must get the Clock King to move so he could quickly discern his intentions and adjust accordingly -- he is a universally feared planner of battles, the quicker Cypher can decode his plans, the quicker Cypher can find some way of killing him. Killing the Clock King is already an extremely difficult task, given his elite proficiency in hand-to-hand combat. If the Clock King could speak, Cypher would immediately know his every move, but surely he would not give away the game that easily -- getting him to move is what he needed.

"Stand down, Clock King. Surrender, and I will spare you." The rocketboard at Cypher's feet started propelling him forward at a steady pace.

The Clock King remained motionless.

"Move, you son of a bitch," Cypher uttered under his breath. He was now within 50 yards.

The Clock King remained motionless.

Alright, if you won't move, I will get you to move, Cypher determined. He whipped out a gun from his back, and fired a bullet at the wizard of time, drawing no response from the time master. Confidently, with his board slowing to a halt, Cypher confidently fired off six rounds. each one second apart.

Like a blur, the Clock King was able to instantly dodge each bullet in moves that seemed to violate physics, flawlessly returning to his stoic position.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR," Cypher demanded. "FIGHT ME."

The Clock King remained motionless.

Cypher squatted down on his board, reloaded his gun, pulling out a second, and prepared to fly head-first into his enemy. Which is when he heard two bass-drum sized clocks roll out from alleys into the city street twenty five yards behind him.

Cypher spun on his board like an X Games champion as the clocks rolled out slowly into the streets. They had old clock faces, but Cypher immediately determined they were artificially intelligent drones. They immediately sprouted pronged legs and huge machine gun barrels flexed out from their sides, starting to take aim on Cypher.

"I love it," smirked Cypher. He swiftly stuck a gun in his belt and put his hand up to the barely visible wireless communicator (something he had fashioned himself) in his ear, immediately remote-hacking the drones via his peerless ability to determine their communication codes. The drones froze, now at Cypher's command.

Confident in his new allies, he spun back to where the Clock King was standing, only to see that he was gone. In his hacking of the Clock King's drones, he lost his nemesis' escape.

"FIND HIM," he shouted to the drones. Which is when a squeak from the city's PA system started up.

"They can't," oozed a soothing voice. Cypher immediately interpreted it as having malicious intent. "You may not know me too well, my mutant friend, but I couldn't possibly know you better if I wanted to. You disabled my drones, turned them against me, something I anticipated. I built them deaf, and unable to trace heat signatures, so that they wouldn't be able to locate me once you turned the tables. They can look and look, but you're going to have to find me yourself."

The PA was coming from four different speakers, all echoing and bouncing off the buildings surrounding Cypher. He struggled to focus and determine where the Clock King's voice was. But Cypher could immediately determine from the voice that everything playing out now was part of the Clock King's plans.

Ordering the drones to follow him, he began swooping through the street, shining his board's light into the alley. The Clock King was surely using a walkie talkie he had programmed into the city's PA. He could disarm it, easily, but he desperately needed to know where he was to stay alive.

"It doesn't matter what tech you throw at me!," Cypher shouted as he spun on his board. "I can hack anything with I.A.! You'd be wise to just confront me yourself!"

"Maybe, mutant," echoed the soothing voice from the PA. "Or maybe I should just use more rudimentary technology." Cypher's eyes immediately widened with shock, and he prompted his board to make haste for escape.

Too late. An explosion in a trashcan from a primitive IED twenty feet away from Cypher knocked him off his board. The drones immediately started scanning the rooftops looking for the perpetrator.

Badly uninjured, Cypher rose from the street, and picked up a pipe that fell to his side. "SHOW YOURSELF, COWARD."

"Maybe I will," blared on the PA.

Cypher spun immediately. His hearing was shot, but he roughly determined where Clock King was, in the shadowed alley across the street. He pointed to the alley, ordering the drones to fly into the alley and secure it.

They disappeared into the darkness and began firing. An explosion was heard. More firing. And then... silence.

Cypher began a cautious, hobbled march towards the alley. He ordered his drones to return to him, but neither did.

He stared down the dark alleyway. He jackknifed over, he felt like he could be suffering internal bleeding. But he clung to the pipe in his hand with fatal fervor.

A voice arose inches behind him. "You anticipate brilliantly." It was him...

Without even a half-pause, Cypher spun 180 degrees, with as strong a swing of his pipe as possible.

The Clock King, on a silent hover board without his hat, glasses, and suit jacket, greeted the pipe with his clockhand cane sword, striking it out of Cypher's weak hands in an upward strike, smacking the pipe down in mid-air with a downward strike, and then grabbing it once it bounced up off the pavement.

"But anticipation is not the same thing as planning." He swung the pipe across Cypher's face, knocking him to the ground, unconscious.

Upon Cypher's collapse, the drones crept out of the shadowed alley. "Let's put this mutant in a cage," the Clock King ordered. "His talents could prove valuable."

Lobo vs. Deadpool...

It might not hurt, guys, to suggest if the folks you want to fight have time to plan.

Some of the characters you folks mention, like Batman, are planning gods. Time to plan makes them far more powerful.

It's not necessary, as I will just fill in the gaps as I see fit, but if you throw that in there, you might get more of the fight you are expecting.

Can Japanese comics be included in this?

Really, anything can. Include Saddam Hussein for all I care. LMAO Any characters I don't know I can easily google.

Alright then, how about Goku vs The Incredible Hulk.

Magik vs. Satana (or Magick vs. Raven if you want to cross universes).

A duel of demonic divas!

Professor X vs. Stephen Hawking

Professor X isn't allowed to use any of his special powers.

Go.

Thanos vs darkseid

Which Goku? Child Goku? Black headed Goku? First realization of SS Goku? Killed and resurrected umpteen times planet destroying Goku? Badly done live action Goku? THE PEOPLE MUST KNOW

I was the only person to suggest Batman so I'm assuming you're talking about me? I said Batman only had standard gear; I meant that this would be a random encounter. Giving a billionaire genius time to prepare is just reeruned. There'd be about a thousand things both real and fictional he could come up with to beat Spider-Man.

In my scenario, it's just Spider-Man and Batman as you'd most often see them, meaning Bats has his batarangs and smoke bombs and all that bullshit while Spidey is just chilling in his suit with his webs. Time of day, location, distance apart, etc. are yours to decide.

Winner by incapacitation.

Batman's the classic example of a guy who is a prep god, but several of the folks already in this thread are. I just wrote a battle involving the Clock King, who is a lethal planner. Thanos is probably the ultimate planner.

Like I said, if it's not mentioned, I'll just take creative liberties. So no big deal. But thanks for the clarification.

"This is a new feeling," uttered a badly beaten and bruised Batman, with his ripped cowl and cape flapping as he sped down the busy nighttime streets of Gotham on the Batcycle.

"Normally I own the air, reigning terror from above. Now I'm the one escaping on the ground, checking the skies for my enemy."

The Dark Knight navigated the streets with his usual elite deftness, however more difficult task it was with one eye swollen shut. He slowed on occasion, scanning the skyline around him for the red-clad, ultra-athletic mutant chasing him. He started trying to think of anywhere he could go, anything he could do. Wayne Manor was across town, and he didn't have that much time to disappear.

Ah, disappearing. Something that's come so easy ever since he donned the cowl. He remembered recently pounding Killer Croc into the pavement after Croc literally didn't see him under his own nose. That used to be his ultimate advantage.

It wasn't this time. No matter where he went, no matter how quietly he stalked, this mutant was able to sense him out. Tools of deception and terror that he used to employ so effortlessly were deflected with ease by his foe. And the darkness Batman has always exuded so powerfully is now being flushed out by the casual wit of his attacker.

In boring shareholder meetings, Bruce would often times imagine what the ultimate foe would look like. He'd have the dexterity of Catwoman. The strength of Bane. And he'd have the Joker's humorous wit and imperviousness to intimidation. What were once daydreams to keep him awake was now a reality that could potentially end his life.

He turned a sharp corner on his Batcycle, trying to find an alley to regroup and think of something. Normally he was so quick with his wits on his feet. But the unholy power of his enemy was too much to behold, and he finally, after years of always having the upperhand, felt his composure slipping.

A dark alley with two large dumpsters was two blocks ahead. And as Batman scanned the buildingtops atop his bike one last time, he saw what he dreaded.

A blur of red and blue, seemingly in flight, swung in with unholy power and knocked Batman off his bike. Batman spread his cape to aid him in his fall, but the sheer speed of the collision still knocked him across the street into a closed bakery store. Batman crashed through the window and into a muffin display, sending stale pastries everywhere.

Dropping from 30 yards in the air off his web sling, the enemy landed on his feet across the street with the ease most people have jumping a small puddle.

"I'm always down for breaking some bread. Ha!" said the enemy, as he walked across the street in a casual jaunt. "How about we--"

But in a single motion, Batman rose from the wreckage, winding up to hurl a handful of bat-stars. But his foe's reflexes and weapons were faster, as he shot a wet sling of what seemed like powerful rope into Batman's hand, sticking all his weapons to his hand like glue, and with his other hand shot a sling into Batman's face, knocking him back a foot or two. "Not so fast!," the menace yelped. "Bats aren't the only ones adept at catching flies."

Batman used a blade in his other hand to slice through both rope-like slings and rolled against the floor up against the wall.

"I don't know why you bother. I really don't," said the enemy. "I know exactly where you are." He walked up to the wall, and with a single punch, slammed his fist through it, and pulled Batman out onto the sidewalk through the wall. Batman lay on the sidewalk, limp.

The enemy joking putly his foot on him. "I declare this bat for the United States of--"

Batman rolled over and detonated a flash-bang, a device that is ten times louder than a bomb and a hundred times brighter than the sun, putting the enemy on his heels. FINALLY. His heightened senses, such a deadly weapon in his favor, were also a weakness.

And even though he was battered and physically decimated, Batman still rose to his feet with apparent ease.

"GOTHAM IS ALL THAT MATTERS," he roared, and spun 360 degrees, launching his foot into the spider sigil on the enemy's chest. "BATMOBILE!," he shouted into his wrist as he launched an assault on his enemy, who despite his incredible pain, blindness, and deafness, still landed on his feet.

Batman threw haymakers and knees into the enemy, putting his hand on his throat and slamming him into the brick wall.

Instead of collapsing into the pavement, however, his foe did something unexpected... he crawled up the wall. "What the hell...."

The menace leapt off the wall and landed right on top of Batman. Raising his fist in the air to finish the Dark Knight off, he cursed "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? I AM SPIDERMAN."

Before he could strike a crippling blow, however, the enemy's senses tingled -- even without vision and hearing, he was still seemingly one with his surroundings. As crashing through a building came the Batmobile, firing towards the enemy like a bullet.

Spiderman leapt backwards with ease back onto the wall before the car-weapon could strike him. Batman managed to roll out of the way as the Batmobile struck the foundation of the wall Spiderman clung to, sending him into the rubble.

Batman fired his grappling hook towards the roof of a neighboring skyscraper and started ascending to escape. As he rocketed upwards, he saw another white rope shoot up next to him. Looking down, he saw the Spiderman giving chase up the side of the building. He reached into his belt and fired off a heat-seeking tazer bullet, which landed on Spiderman's shoulders and delivered a powerful electronic charge.

Through great pain of the electrocution, as well as the tremendous scream that came with it, Spiderman continued gaining ground until he grabbed Batman's foot, planting his own feet against the side of the building, stopping both of their upward progress 45 stories high.

Batman swung his other foot to Spiderman's face, which Spiderman dodged.

"It's over," Spiderman said. He squeezed his hand and crushed Batman's ankle like a soda can.

The Dark Knight felt the agony of his leg disabled, but contained his anguish, instead shouting "SO BE IT!!!" with the passion of a superhero ready to die for his cause.

He released the grappling gun and fell on top of Spiderman, slicing through his web and grabbing him by the shoulders. The two fell in freefall together, Spiderman attempting to fire off webs to save him, but the Dark Knight slicing through every time. His superior combat skills ensured that Spiderman would be relatively subdued on their fall.

Spiderman grabbed his throat, his seemingly only chance to kill his enemy and survive. So close to the ground, as Spiderman raised his wrist in one last attempt to escape the earth.

Batman grabbed Spiderman by the neck with both hands, threw his legs into his torso, and flipped them both over.

The pavement finally arrived. Spiderman's back slammed into the concrete, with Batman's knees landing in his abdomen with the violent force of a 45-story drop.

The fall broke them both. Perhaps for good.

Debris fluttered and the ground had no motion for an hour, as people eventually came out onto the street in the silence to see what to make of the combatants.

As the debris billowed, the silouette of a lithe man.

He stood like a baby deer, then fell to his knees.

He raised a wrist to the air, and his limp body escalated to a nearby building top.

Once the smoke cleared, the people of Gotham were stunned to see Bruce Wayne's lifeless body with Batman's hopelessly ripped cowl failing to disguise him any longer.

I should also note that I am not ignoring anybody's requests. I'll get to them all if I have time. I'm just going to pick and choose which ones I'd like to write, and if I get around to it, I'll do them all.

Machine Man vs Plastic Man

Quicksilver vs. Nightcrwaler in a 50X50 room.


Nightcrawler can't teleport outside the room.

Hmm, I guess SS Goku.

The Silver Surfer vs. Superboy-Prime

LMAO Nice. Very nice. I like how you illustrated Bats' hopelessness in the face of such a physically superior opponent..

The reason I wanted you to do this one is because I've argued with friends so many times that Spidey would slaughter Bats and NO ONE EVER agrees. It makes no ****ing sense. Batman is just a man, albeit highly trained, intelligent, and skilled. Spider-Man can lift ****ing tanks and shit. He dodges machine gun fire point blank. His webbing can subdue super strong enemies like Lizard and the Goblins briefly. His spider sense would allow no stealth attacks from Batman.

Spider-Man would beat Batman in a random encounter 10 times out of 10.

Starfox vs. Rogue.

Dr. Doom vs Dr. J in a 10k footrace. Dr. J is his current age, and Dr. Doom is wearing his full armor.

Or maybe instead of this, try Superboy Prime vs. Thanos, or Superboy Prime vs. Superman Prime