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-   -   Life Man arrested for having sex with a Gator.. (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=293443)

Al Bundy 07-16-2015 08:21 PM

Man arrested for having sex with a Gator..
 
Sex With a Gator
Florida Man Arrested for Having Sex with an Alligator
JUL 13, 2015

EVERGLADES CITY, Florida –

People have had sex with pit bulls, donkeys and even parrots, but this incident is on another level.

Rupert Darwin, 59, kept a 12 foot alligator tied and blindfold for the last month, sexually assaulting the reptile multiple times a day.

Florida Man Arrested for Having Sex with an Alligator
Darwin is a relatively unknown fisherman who lives in the outskirts of the remote town of 400. Residents say he sticks to himself and described him as “odd.”

Police responded after a man out of a nature hike happened to walk by Darwin’s house and saw Darwin having sex with the alligator in his backyard.

The witness heard Darwin say, “next time you try to kill a man, you best get the job done. Now you’re my bitch forever.”

“It was the damn strangest thing I’ve ever seen,” the witness told police. “The gator didn’t even move. It was like it didn’t give a s**t that man was having sex with it.”

Collier County Sheriffs responded and arrested Darwin on multiple counts of animal cruelty and one count of illegally keeping a wild animal.

Excerpt from Darwin’s police statement:
The gator tried to eat me and this was revenge, pure and simple. I don’t have no sexual attraction to gators, but I wanted to teach this bitch a lesson. I could have just killed her, but that would have been too easy. She was getting what she deserved.

Darwin also told police he had planned to chop off the alligator’s tail and pull her teeth as part of his revenge scheme and had even considered performing noise torture on the reptile by playing what Darwin described as “****er music” over and over.

Darwin claimed the alligator had gotten a hold of his pant leg when he was fishing in a swamp and tried to drag him into the water. Darwin was able to escape without injury, but that had set his resolve to get revenge.

The alligator is being treated for relatively minor injuries and is expected to be released back into the wild within a couple weeks.

BigRedChief 07-16-2015 08:23 PM

And some of you actually thought Texas was going to give Florida a run for its money as the weirdest shit happens in that state champion.

BWillie 07-16-2015 08:34 PM

"Blank" the Gators

Eleazar 07-16-2015 08:36 PM

It seems unjust. The guy's last name is even Darwin.

Sully 07-16-2015 08:38 PM

Arrested? The guy should win an award. He raped a ****ing alligator. Guy that tops that will be boning a shark!

Why Not? 07-16-2015 08:38 PM

Fake

Mother****erJones 07-16-2015 08:38 PM

ChiefGator?

Sully 07-16-2015 08:39 PM

And we argue over who espn should give a courage award to.

This guy wins lifetime achievement!

Sully 07-16-2015 08:40 PM

But really, the University of Florida Gators football team has been getting raped every Saturday for a few years, now.

Demonpenz 07-16-2015 08:43 PM

Dag gummmit and the ole ball coach throws his visor

booger 07-16-2015 08:57 PM

How did he teach that thing to roll over? Need a penz pic

Rasputin 07-16-2015 08:59 PM

"The alligator is being treated for relatively minor injuries and is expected to be released back into the wild within a couple weeks."



Really? That soon? The alligator should be on suicide watch for that kind of trauma how is he going go hang out with his buddies in the wild? He needs to seek professional therapeutic help.

Sassy Squatch 07-16-2015 09:06 PM

So he was basically revenge ****ing an alligator for trying to kill him, and was going to go all Hostel on it? That's pretty ****ing hardcore.

Demonpenz 07-16-2015 09:09 PM

1 Attachment(s)
dfasdfasdf squirter

Sassy Squatch 07-16-2015 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demonpenz (Post 11602853)
dfasdfasdf squirter

****, man. Burst out laughing at that one.

Psyko Tek 07-16-2015 09:18 PM

during the arrest did any of the cops point a gun at him?

if so that should be one very nervous officer

Sully 07-16-2015 09:29 PM

Somethiny, something, Gator-AIDS...

Gonzo 07-16-2015 09:39 PM

1 Attachment(s)
This guy looks like someone that'd **** a gator.

Bwana 07-16-2015 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gonzo (Post 11602890)
This guy looks like someone that'd **** a gator.

http://permanentplastichelmet.files....t-17-12-37.png

Valiant 07-16-2015 09:44 PM

How does this guy not have his on show on the history channel??

CrazyPhuD 07-16-2015 10:28 PM

Founding member of NAMGLA

Pasta Little Brioni 07-16-2015 10:36 PM

Setsuna?

Mother****erJones 07-16-2015 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gonzo (Post 11602890)
This guy looks like someone that'd **** a gator.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you for a review on it! :evil:

Mother****erJones 07-16-2015 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 11602957)
Setsuna?

Ah forgot about that idiot

booger 07-16-2015 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demonpenz (Post 11602853)
dfasdfasdf squirter

LMAO
Perfect!

Rain Man 07-16-2015 11:15 PM

He thought it would be exciting, but she just laid there like a log.

Fish 07-16-2015 11:38 PM

thugvirals.com.

Basically, CNN.

mdchiefsfan 07-17-2015 01:39 AM

CP is slacking


http://i1164.photobucket.com/albums/...ps72gpdfxi.gif

aturnis 07-17-2015 01:57 AM

You all realize this is a bullshit story right?

BlackHelicopters 07-17-2015 03:46 AM

Worthless without pics.

ChiefGator 07-17-2015 03:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mother****erJones (Post 11602815)
ChiefGator?

Ha! Made that Gator my bitch.

That is a pretty insane story though. Everglades city is like the backwater of Florida.. which is pretty bad.

Coochie liquor 07-17-2015 03:56 AM

Hey gator, you got a purrty mouth!!

Hog's Gone Fishin 07-17-2015 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aturnis (Post 11603064)
You all realize this is a bullshit story right?

Has to be because I don't think it's illegal.

Kman34 07-17-2015 06:07 AM

"Dear Penthouse Forum,
So.. I was fishing in the swamp one day and it turned out to be the most erotic experiences of my life. Let me tell you about it.........."

WhawhaWhat 07-17-2015 06:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theelusiveeightrop (Post 11603080)
Worthless without pics.

http://i715.photobucket.com/albums/w...r-girls-26.jpg

https://chivethebrigade.files.wordpr...ers-500-38.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...30175eb953.jpg

Prison Bitch 07-17-2015 07:06 AM

One of the comments suggests he has Areptile dysfunction

Demonpenz 07-17-2015 07:46 AM

that's just cold blooded man

KCUnited 07-17-2015 07:51 AM

Turned out to be a croc.

ptlyon 07-17-2015 09:12 AM

Love with an alligator, livin it up while I'm Goin down

Gonzo 07-17-2015 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aturnis (Post 11603064)
You all realize this is a bullshit story right?

Don't you **** this up for me. I/We need this story.

gblowfish 07-17-2015 09:56 AM

I so wish this was a true story (it's not). It would be the king of the Important Florida News thread.

Coochie liquor 07-17-2015 04:10 PM

Just went from weird, to hot! He's the man, please relocate to Epic win thread!!


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