Kidney Transplants
 

Someone in my family would like a Kidney donation. It's not an immediate family member like parent, brother, grandparent etc but someone I am directly related to. The relative is almost 60. I feel really obligated to do it, but quite frankly it scares the shit out of me.

I'm only 31, but I've read there can be complications during the surgery and even after the surgery. Even if the risk is low, there is still a risk. I mean, what if I need that kidney later on in life? I've read that kidney donors can possibly develop complications two years or so after the donation and some have even had to go on dialysis themselves.

I used to have a pretty bad energy drink obsession, in fact, I just stopped drinking 2 or 3 a day about a month ago. I had a blood test done and found out that my "uric acid", creatinine level was high. I believe my GFR level was not the best. When I say high, it was just at or above the "outer range". I'm not overweight or fat or anything. I have perfect blood pressure, but I eat red meat and pork about 7 times a week so I have a severely low good cholesterol level and a relatively high bad cholesterol level. I'm sure they can tell me this when I get screened, probably looks like I'm making excuses but I don't want to look like an asshole and I don't want my relative to die either.

The relative needing a kidney isn't necessarily going to die right away I don't think, they would eventually have to go on dialysis and they are on a waiting list for a kidney. In my reading on the internet, it does not even appear the kidney has to come from a family member, just someone as a suitable match. I do know they are on a list for a kidney.

What does CP know about this? Any life experiences or people in the know?

Are you a match?

Haven't even got that far, but I don't want to go in to the doctor, find out I'm a match and be like nah.

This would be a tough decision. I'd see if you're a match, because if you don't really want to do it, and if you're not a match, it's out of your control.

I have a good friend who donated a kidney to one of their cousins. She regrets it every day of her life. Her quality of life has been much worse since the donation (10 years ago). She had extreme weight gain right after the surgery (60 pounds) that she has spent 10 years trying to reverse. She has lost about 40 of the 60 pounds.

Her remaining kidney has started to have trouble and her doctors have told her she will have to very on dialysis sometime in the next couple of years.

If it isn't a direct family member like your parents or siblings, I wouldn't do it. Especially if the person is 60 years old. You are still very young and IMO it's not worth the risk.

Yup... it sucks but they are old(ish) and had their time.

If they get a kidney from someone plowing their motorcycle into a mountain then so be it but there is no reason, IMHO, for someone of that age to receive/accept an organ from someone who hasn't even hit the midway point in theirs.

That's exactly how I feel. I'm 43 and I wouldn't accept accept a kidney from a relative that was 20-30 years old.

I'd take all this into account for sure. Ultimately, it's a personal decision. Keep doing your research and talk to doctors that have done the procedure. Hopefully they will be able to 3-D Print Livers later in my life.

Side note - I learned recently that summer is referred to as "Donorcycle Season" among the medical community.

I'm sure they give up their fair share of organs.

If they aren't on dialysis yet don't even think about it yet.

Tell them you have AIDS.

It's something you do for someone you love. Why are you even thinking about this?

The only way I would do this is if it was for a direct family member who was close to my age or younger. Honestly...if I was 60 and needed a kidney, I wouldn't even think about asking someone that much younger than me.

Likely because his doing this will lead to a lifetime of health complications. Because agreeing to have a chunk of you cut out might merit more than just a cursory thought before jumping in?

/thinking out loud

Can we start a thread about selling your organs to someone in need. I've always wondered if I'm a big enough asshole to charge some one in need like 100k. You know skip the waiting list here's my shit let's find some crazy European dr to do it tomorrow if the check clears kind of deal.

Right, and it sounds like he barely knows this person. It's something you do for someone you love. So, like I said, why even consider it?

Technically he never even said that he loved the guy...

This. Sometimes it's okay to be selfish. You're not being, but if that's your hang up, that's my response. ****. Start tipping like a normal human being and you can feel better about yourself.

Yeah. I know. That's kinda the point.

I'd do it for one of my sons, but that's about it.

You get the chance to be a one in a million hero.

My mother needed a kidney after they found a mass on both. I gave her mine. No questions asked. You do what you do for the ones you love. But each person has their own choice. For me though, there was no second guessing about it

Thanks for the responses. I will ponder it. If it was for one of my parents or something I wouldnt have any problems doing it. That just makes me feel selfish. Im also afraid my family will look down on me if I dont. I might not even be a match, I dont even know my own blood type, how sad is that?

I'm all about sacrificing for your family but this doesn't make a lot of sense.

Let's say you do this...

At 60 the other person is looking at a higher quality of life for another 10-20 years max... while you will have a lower quality of life for the next 40 years. I know that is cold of me to look at it that way but it's true.

Seriously. Free riding douche tips 8% when he's out of town because he's cheap and knows he'll never have to see the waitresses again.

.. And he's talking about giving up a kidney. Not a chance in hell he does this.

If you do it from a motivation of guilt you will regret it for the rest of your life. I wouldn't consider it if I had strong doubts.

Lol i never said I dont tip, I just wish I never had to do it. Id prefer the self serve places where u wait for you food and then sit down. I just dont tip 20% to 25% like some of you guys. I think thats silly. I always tip around 15% though, I just regret every time i do it and do find myself tipping more at places I frequent the most often

60 years old isn't "old". It's not even "that old". That said, I'd have serious reservations about giving up an internal organ at age 31 as well.

The downside is that it might (and most likely) cause issues for you in the foreseeable future. The upside is that your relative will get a few more years on this planet but it's also difficult to predict how well his body will adapt to the new organ and how happy he'll be with an extended window.

The other "upside", if you will, to you donating an organ is that science is moving swiftly to create perfect organ matches, whether it's from stem cell tissue or 3D printing. So there's a chance that if you give up an organ, science will be able to re-grow it within your lifetime.

Personally, I wouldn't do it. You're 31. You might meet the love of your life tomorrow, get married and have kids. If there are complications with your body, your wife and your children will be the people that suffer most.

Why don't YOU volunteer to be tested to see if you're a match?

Donate a kidney for a sibling? Yes, no hesitation whatsoever.

For a parent? Yes. You owe it to your parent (assuming your parent didn't abandon you as a child or abuse you).

For one of your children? Hell yes. I'd give up both kidneys for my children.

But I would not offer to donate my 31 year old kidney for a 60 year old relative who isn't a member of my immediate family. You're obviously feeling pressured by your family, but they aren't the ones who would be taking the risk. You are. You'd be putting the rest of your life in jeopardy.

Don't do this. If you get tested with the hope that you aren't a match, that could easily backfire on you, and then the pressure to actually give up your kidney would be ENORMOUS.

I'm 57. I would NEVER ask a 31 year old family member for their kidney.

Don't do this.

There was a season of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Richard Lewis needed a kidney and asked Larry to donate. He didn't want to do it, which often led to comical situations.

I'm not sure if watching that season would help you in your decision, but at the very least, the shows were funny.