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A thread to make you feel like a disgusting pervert. (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=303909)

Rain Man

11-21-2016 02:47 PM

A thread to make you feel like a disgusting pervert.

My hometown newspaper had an article about this beauty queen. Before you make ANY comments - ANY COMMENTS AT ALL - read the spoiler.

http://www.therolladailynews.com/sto...-161118929.jpg

My spoiler for you.

Spoiler!

The article

Spoiler!

On Saturday, November 5th, young women from across the state came to compete for the titles of Miss Missouri Junior High, High School, and Collegiate America 2017. The title of Miss Missouri Junior High School America was awarded to St. James Middle School student Abilene Lortz, who also won Most Photogenic, People's Choice, Overall Private Interview, Overall Fashion Runway, and Overall Evening Gown.

By The Rolla Daily News Reports - [email protected]
On Saturday, November 5th, young women from across the state came to compete for the titles of Miss Missouri Junior High, High School, and Collegiate America 2017. The state pageant was held at the Cowan Civic Center in Lebanon. There were 22 contestants who participated in the event which included a private interview, fashion runway, and evening gown competitions. The goal of the organization is to provide personal and professional opportunities for young women across the country. The title of Miss Missouri Junior High School America was awarded to St. James Middle School student Abilene Lortz, who also won Most Photogenic, People's Choice, Overall Private Interview, Overall Fashion Runway, and Overall Evening Gown. “I am honored to have been chosen as Miss Missouri Junior High School America 2017. One of my goals is to visit each veterans home in Missouri and play the piano for the veterans. This is something I have been doing at the St. James Veterans Home and the veterans, their families, and employees are all very supportive and encouraging.” Abilene is a member of the St. James 7th grade girls basketball team and Team Blackout 2022. She is a straight A student and enjoys hunting, fishing, skiing, playing the piano, and singing in the St. James Middle School Honor Choir. Throughout the next year she will be traveling across the state of Missouri making appearances and speaking on behalf of the national platform BRAVE (Building Respect and Values for Everyone), an anti-bullying campaign. “To me the most important aspect of BRAVE is that everyone deserves respect regardless of their differences and I’m excited to share that message.”

Abilene and her new sister queens, Miss Missouri High School America - Danielle Stanfield, and Miss Missouri Collegiate America - Holly Sprow, will represent the state of Missouri at the national competition in Little Rock Arkansas in July of 2017.

ptlyon

11-21-2016 02:49 PM

Wood

ThaVirus

11-21-2016 02:50 PM

I don't think she's pretty but she does look mature as hell.

I had assumed she was 28 or so.

Rain Man

11-21-2016 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ptlyon (Post 12569686)

Wood

You didn't read the spoiler first, did you?

Rain Man

11-21-2016 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThaVirus (Post 12569689)

I don't think she's pretty but she does look mature as hell.

I had assumed she was 28 or so.

Yeah, that's just not what nature intended for that age range. Good for her, but ... that's not what nature intended.

Pitt Gorilla

11-21-2016 02:52 PM

Looks a lot like my niece, who is 18. Would not.

cosmo20002

11-21-2016 02:53 PM

No where does is it say how old she is, only what grade. Since she enters these pageants, I assume she is pretty stupid.
There's a 10% chance she could be 18. Especially since we are talking about Missouri.

ptlyon

11-21-2016 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 12569690)

You didn't read the spoiler first, did you?

Yes I did.

I didn't say "would", I said "wood".

But that said, I'd be all over that like a rat on a Cheeto.

Pitt Gorilla

11-21-2016 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ptlyon (Post 12569699)

Yes I did.

I didn't say "would", I said "wood".

But that said, I'd be all over that like a rat on a Cheeto.

7th graders are like 12 years old. Don't be a sick ****.

Prison Bitch

11-21-2016 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThaVirus (Post 12569689)

I don't think she's pretty but .

Homosexual^^^^

cosmo20002

11-21-2016 02:57 PM

"The title of Miss Missouri Junior High School America was awarded to St. James Middle School student Abilene Lortz, who also won Most Photogenic, People's Choice, Overall Private Interview, Overall Fashion Runway, and Overall Evening Gown."

It seems like they should get rid of that competition. They're just asking for trouble on that one.

Rain Man

11-21-2016 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cosmo20002 (Post 12569698)

No where does is it say how old she is, only what grade. Since she enters these pageants, I assume she is pretty stupid. There's a 10% chance she could be 18.

Well, I guess that's possible. I wonder if Miss Junior High is like Little League where you have to provide a birth certificate. Do Puerto Ricans tend to win the national Miss Junior High pageant?

ptlyon

11-21-2016 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pitt Gorilla (Post 12569702)

7th graders are like 12 years old. Don't be a sick ****.

Jokes son, jokes.

stumppy

11-21-2016 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 12569693)

Yeah, that's just not what nature intended for that age range. Good for her, but ... that's not what nature intended.

Who knows what nature had intended for her. Without all the makeup she might look like a really pretty 7th grader. My daughter was that way when she was that age. She was a real pretty girl but with some makeup she would look like a drop dead gorgeous 20 something. I put the brakes on that shit real fast. :D

Prison Bitch

11-21-2016 03:03 PM

Wait - you live in Rolla? Oh man, that town is the worst. I know, I used to go there all the time growing up. The worst! At least she's there to look at.

ThaVirus

11-21-2016 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prison Bitch (Post 12569704)

Homosexual^^^^

Doesn't think 11 year old is "pretty", must be homosexual

PunkinDrublic

11-21-2016 03:07 PM

17 is legal in Texas. I feel fine.

ptlyon

11-21-2016 03:09 PM

She actually looks like Tiffany what's her name from Facts of Life

Rain Man

11-21-2016 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prison Bitch (Post 12569719)

Wait - you live in Rolla? Oh man, that town is the worst. I know, I used to go there all the time growing up. The worst! At least she's there to look at.

I meant to say hometown paper, not local paper. Rolla was a fine place to grow up, but I prefer Denver now.

Rain Man

11-21-2016 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PunkinDrublic (Post 12569723)

17 is legal in Texas. I feel fine.

Not even close. She thinks 17 year olds are codgers.

saphojunkie

11-21-2016 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ptlyon (Post 12569726)

She actually looks like Tiffany what's her name from Facts of Life

Saved by the bell

ptlyon

11-21-2016 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saphojunkie (Post 12569735)

Saved by the bell

Er, yeah. Showing my age.

loochy

11-21-2016 03:20 PM

I'm not ashamed. She's hot.

DJ's left nut

11-21-2016 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 12569693)

Yeah, that's just not what nature intended for that age range. Good for her, but ... that's not what nature intended.

I feel like nature intended for us to get eaten by a sabercat somewhere around 30 years old. That's why our joints fall to shit by 35; we just weren't built to last that long.

So if nature figured we'd get consumed by our 30s, then 12 seems like about the time it should start making girls hot.

Then again, nature is a cruel bitch sometimes so I'm not inclined to assign her benevolent motives at any point...

Trivers

11-21-2016 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prison Bitch (Post 12569719)

Wait - you live in Rolla? Oh man, that town is the worst. I know, I used to go there all the time growing up. The worst! At least she's there to look at.

Never saw a girl like that when I went to eng school in good old Rolla.

The high school girls were smart enough to stay away. 8 to 1 ratio of guys to girls. My senior year aerospace classes had 3 girls in 5 classes.

I was homecoming king one year and was embarrassed to be seen with the queen. (Of course, that was back when all I cared about was looks; now I'm matured. :) )

Rolla..where men are men, women are few, and sheep are nervous.

loochy

11-21-2016 03:48 PM

They had to have mixed up their pictures and posted the wrong one with the article or something. That is NOT a 7th grader.

listopencil

11-21-2016 03:50 PM

It's a beauty pageant picture. This is the same hair/make-up that makes toddlers look like teens. If you found a normal pic of her she'd probably look like a cute little 12 year old that hit puberty early.

DomCasual

11-21-2016 03:50 PM

Just to put everyone's creepy thoughts into perspective, below is a picture of some of the girls against whom she competed. They, indeed, look like 7th graders.

https://static.wixstatic.com/media/6...70117~mv2.webp

DadLeft4Cigarettes

11-21-2016 03:52 PM

ver priddy in angelick way that bing sid, I not tuch her with ten foot poll

2 any risx for anyone in write mine. do be dum!!

ptlyon

11-21-2016 03:52 PM

Except the one on the far right, she's gonna have some yuge cans come senior year

Simply Red

11-21-2016 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DomCasual (Post 12569783)

Just to put everyone's creepy thoughts into perspective, below is a picture of some of the girls against whom she competed. They, indeed, look like 7th graders.

Hey Dom - good to see you posting over here - I don't see you on here much.

How's life? I'll be by the mane after you all destroy us on Sunday night - tell the others I say hello!

Rain Man

11-21-2016 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DomCasual (Post 12569783)

That is a seriously unfair fight.

Skyy God

11-21-2016 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ptlyon (Post 12569788)

Except the one on the far right, she's gonna have some yuge cans come senior year

Cans, etc.

Otter

11-21-2016 03:57 PM

I was at a greasy spoon restaurant just a couple days ago and one of the girls working there was smoking hot. Almost like "why aren't you hanging from a pole at the Spearmint Rhino making $2000 a night" kind of smoking hot. Her ass was what dreams are made of.

One of the managers was sitting on the stool next to me that I know enough to say 'hi' and small talk and asked how old she was.

I would have guessed 24 at ground minimum. She was 17 and with a little makeup and nice dress could have knocked that girl down for the count.

EPodolak

11-21-2016 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DadLeft4Cigarettes (Post 12569787)

ver priddy in angelick way that bing sid, I not tuch her with ten foot poll

2 any risx for anyone in write mine. do be dum!!

This.

DomCasual

11-21-2016 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red (Post 12569791)

Hey Dom - good to see you posting over here - I don't see you on here much.

How's life? I'll be by the mane after you all destroy us on Sunday night - tell the others I say hello!

Life is busy. Good to see you, too! Don't tell anyone over there I said so :), but we could use an infusion of some Chiefs fans (certain ones, anyway).

I wish I was as confident about Sunday night. I have no idea what to expect. We'll be healthy. And it kind of sucks for you guys that you get us after a bye again. But our OL truly sucks. Our running game hits and misses (mostly misses, since CJ went down). And our defense, while still great, can only do so much, if they're on the field 40 minutes a game.

I say we win, because of the bye, and being at home. But I wouldn't be surprised, at all, to see it go your way.

loochy

11-21-2016 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DomCasual (Post 12569783)

Dude, something is up here. Maybe she's only in 7th grade, but she must have failed 6 times or something because that girl is 18.

Rain Man

11-21-2016 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otter (Post 12569799)

On a contrasting note, I took swimming lessons in my 20s, and there was a girl in my class who was mind-numbingly cute and the back of her swimsuit was what dreams are made of. I gaped at her for a while, but assumed that she was sixteen or something so I kept my distance. It turned out that she was older than me and married.

Simply Red

11-21-2016 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DomCasual (Post 12569803)

well to level w/ you - LITERALLY our only shot is if we come out pissed off about this, last Sunday - however I do NOT like our chances at all. I'll talk to you Sun night and if we happen to pull off a miracle - I won't be a cock about it.

Rain Man

11-21-2016 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loochy (Post 12569808)

Dude, something is up here. Maybe she's only in 7th grade, but she must have failed 6 times or something because that girl is 18.

Maybe she's one of those criminals who pretends to be a high school student so she can hide from the law?

scho63

11-21-2016 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThaVirus (Post 12569689)

I don't think she's pretty but she does look mature as hell.

I had assumed she was 28 or so.

Are you gay? :hmmm:

The Franchise

11-21-2016 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ptlyon (Post 12569788)

Except the one on the far right, she's gonna have some yuge cans come senior year

She'll have serious back problems when she's 18. I'll be glad to help her out then.

KCUnited

11-21-2016 04:27 PM

but my body is tellin' me yeehehes!

Mr. Laz

11-21-2016 04:29 PM

http://readeroffictions.com/wp-conte...ow-nothing.gif

scho63

11-21-2016 04:31 PM

You'll need a much worse thread to make me feel like a pervert. LOL

ThaVirus

11-21-2016 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otter (Post 12569799)

Can confirm.

I work next to a high school and many of those girls could pass for 20-24 in a dress and heels.

Realistically, girls are hitting puberty at around 9-10 these days. By the time they're 16-17 they're pretty much fully developed.

Easy 6

11-21-2016 05:29 PM

I think it has something to do with all of the hormones in our meat and milk these days, lotta kids are physically maturing much faster than they used to

For instance, back in my high school football days it was almost unheard for a team to have some 6'3 300 pounder, and when you did see one he was an extreme outlier freak to be marveled at... these days it seems like almost every team has a few like that

Mr. Laz

11-21-2016 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Easy 6 (Post 12569928)

probably

notorious

11-21-2016 05:34 PM

Her father better have an M60 ready to mow down the boys in town.

Rasputin

11-21-2016 06:03 PM

So is she going look like an ol hag at age 30 if she keeps "maturing" that rate?

RealSNR

11-21-2016 06:51 PM

I was hanging with my girlfriend when I asked, "Hey baby, how about a blowjob?"

"Wow, that's awfully presumptuous of you."

"Wow. "Presumptuous" is an awfully big word for a 12 year old."

Dayze

11-21-2016 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealSNR (Post 12570070)

I was hanging with my girlfriend when I asked, "Hey baby, how about a blowjob?"

"Wow, that's awfully presumptuous of you."

"Wow. "Presumptuous" is an awfully big word for a 12 year old."

LMAO

Fish	11-21-2016 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Easy 6 (Post 12569928)

I think it has something to do with all of the hormones in our meat and milk these days, lotta kids are physically maturing much faster than they used to

For instance, back in my high school football days it was almost unheard for a team to have some 6'3 300 pounder, and when you did see one he was an extreme outlier freak to be marveled at... these days it seems like almost every team has a few like that

You believe lots of ridiculous stuff.

But the truth is that hormones have been banned from pork, poultry, and dairy animals for some time. By the evil FDA even. The only hormones allowed are for beef cattle and sheep.

Easy 6

11-21-2016 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fish (Post 12570249)

And you've always been a smug prick who likes to think he is really quite smart, so theres that

What about the beef cattle, smug prick?

Kman34

11-21-2016 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Easy 6 (Post 12570300)

And you've always been a smug prick who likes to think he is really quite smart, so theres that

What about the beef cattle, smug prick?

ROFL....

Fish	11-21-2016 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Easy 6 (Post 12570300)

And you've always been a smug prick who likes to think he is really quite smart, so theres that

What about the beef cattle, smug prick?

I mentioned beef cattle in the post you quoted. Pointing out your error on the other meat and milk.

Simply Red

11-21-2016 11:06 PM

I have hootie on FB and he wanted me to tell you all.

'Old enough to bleed, old enough for me'

Tribal Warfare

11-21-2016 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pitt Gorilla (Post 12569694)

Looks a lot like my niece, who is 18. Would not.

Most beautiful Nordic blondes don't do it for me because most of the time they look like my sister and cousins

Psyko Tek

11-22-2016 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 12569682)

Spoiler!

The article

Spoiler!

they didn't build them like that back in my day
going to set over there

Nickhead

11-22-2016 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scho63 (Post 12569874)

You'll need a much worse thread to make me feel like a pervert. LOL

http://www.globemagazine.com/sites/g...?itok=Jfh9Kdwi

listopencil

11-22-2016 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red (Post 12570942)

I have hootie on FB and he wanted me to tell you all.

'Old enough to bleed, old enough for me'

That idiot. It's old enough to bleed, old enough to breed. Or old enough to go to the store, old enough to get bred. Or if there's grass on the infield, play ball. There are so many of those and he had to **** up the simplest one.

Simply Red

11-22-2016 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by listopencil (Post 12571066)

I don't have him on FB anymore - It was my f up - ROFL

listopencil

11-22-2016 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red (Post 12571075)

I don't have him on FB anymore - It was my f up - ROFL

Dammit, SR. You know better than that.

Simply Red

11-22-2016 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by listopencil (Post 12571078)

Dammit, SR. You know better than that.

yeah i hadn't used it in years, so that's why i botched it.

cosmo20002

11-22-2016 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Easy 6 (Post 12569928)

LMAO

Simply Red

11-22-2016 02:47 AM

Dom Casual is such a solid human. Another nice rival fan. Oh well, it's only a game.

New World Order

11-22-2016 03:20 AM

No matter what happens on the field, we'll be fine.

JD10367

11-22-2016 04:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by listopencil (Post 12571066)

My uncle used to say, "If she's old enough to sit at the table, she's old enough to eat."

scho63

11-22-2016 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickhead (Post 12571062)

http://www.globemagazine.com/sites/g...?itok=Jfh9Kdwi

Getting warmer........:D

Cannibal

11-22-2016 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cosmo20002 (Post 12569698)

ROFL

Easy 6

11-22-2016 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cosmo20002 (Post 12571096)

LMAO

This article says the theory is plausible, if unproven... so neither you nor Fish "win" shit

http://www.livescience.com/1824-trut...y-puberty.html

More good news for me? I learned a new word today "menarche"... something you've clearly just now reached

WhiteWhale

11-22-2016 05:13 PM

Some people mature faster than others.

This seriously should not surprise anyone who remembers being 13.

Also, no, this didn't just now start happening. Good god, I remember several girls when I was in 7th grade that could walk into a bar without anyone looking twice at them.

88TG88

11-22-2016 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red (Post 12570942)

I have hootie on FB and he wanted me to tell you all.

'Old enough to bleed, old enough for me'

:clap:

Fish	11-22-2016 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Easy 6 (Post 12571970)

Read your article, dope. Specifically this part:

Quote:

When precocious puberty entered the radar screen in the early 1990s, the first suspects were hormones in milk and meats, particularly the artificial bovine growth hormone, rBGH. But this is a protein hormone, destroyed in human digestion, not a steroid hormone like estrogen.

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