Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 11 - Graystoke versus Otter
 

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is.

Venue - In a jail cell
Starting Distance - 2 feet

Graystoke

Main Weapon - Baseball Bat with six nails studded into it
Backup Weapon - Small Ball Peen Hammer

Prep Time - 9 Minutes
Special Factors - A class of ten 9 year-old kids who are green belts in karate will assist you

Otter

Main Weapon - 3 smoke bombs and a solid sharpened stick
Backup Weapon - 2 boomerangs, one heavy and one bladed, and a handful of salt

Prep Time - 4 seconds
Special Factors - You're wearing a football helmet and a 40-lb. backpack of bricks that you can't remove

Smoke-bombs might make it interesting but give me the guy with the baseball bat with nails in tight quarters. In addition 10 nine year old kids could swarm you pretty quick, giving Graystroke another advantage. Otter also gets slightly screwed with the 40 lb backpack.

There are a lot of complications in this one. Otter's football helmet is a huge advantage, and the backpack is also an armor of sorts. If he can drop the smoke bomb immediately, he can hack around with the bladed boomerang and wreak havoc with the karate kids. But is it enough? He's in close quarters from the very beginning, and he may just get buried at t=1. Plus, he's got no time to plan, which hurts in this case.

My theory is that he'll drop the smoke bomb quickly, but he'll get buried by karate kids and someone will eventually get his helmet off. Then it's game over as Graystoke puts the bat to use.

The 9 year olds are getting the salt to the eyes and smoke bombs at which point they turn on each other in the confusion and tight quarters while I retreat in the corner and take out any survivors methodically because I'm the only one in the room who realizes I have no allies, without salt eyes, and knew the smoke was coming.</br></br> I turn my disadvantage into the advantage.

However it turns out, this might be the most interesting match so far to watch.

Tarzan of Graystoke beats the otter to death, skins him with the bladed boomerang and wears the pelt as a hat. Then he builds a fire using the bat, seasons the dead otter with the salt and cooks up dinner for himself and the kids.

But not before Otter kicks stumppy in the ass hard enough to finally knock the dust off that nasty, old cooter which instantly kills all the karate kids through inhalation and stunning Graystoke like he was just maced,

Those kids are the deciding factor.

https://media.giphy.com/media/l1bXkTAGgYldC/giphy.gif

4 second prep time... ouch. You have 9 karate kids and a dude with a baseball bat... 3 2 1.

LMAO

9 year olds have little attention span and act a lot like cats. They will do what they want on their terms. They could likely attack both combatants. I think Otter pulls hidden candy out of his 40 pound vest and bribes the kids. Also what 9 year old can't be bribed with a helmet. Otter wins.

Easy win for Graystroke.

Unfortunate draw for Otter.

Are the kids wearing clown masks?

The kids are the X factor here. Without them I'd say it's nearly even.

Graystroke takes this one.

Greystroke. By a lot. Those hails will go through the helmet if need be but a chest high homerun swing as he’s fiddling with a smoke bomb ends it before it starts.

I agree

Nice try, Hype Man. This one is over in seconds with a couple of swings of the bat followed by a pile-on of mini-ninjas. RIP Otter.

Another DC poster bites the dust. You ****ed Otter.

Thanks goodness for 10 nine year olds because I believe they secure my victory.
Right at the buzzer I am sending those brats in to help take Otter down. He is going to have more then 40lbs of bricks weighing him down because they are going to smother him. The average weight of a nine year old is 63 pounds. That is well over 500 lbs. Plus these kids have some skill and they are disposable to me. All I will have to do is finish him off with the ball peen hamer and Baseball Bat.
Sorry Otter

Graystoke wins this one fairly easily

And in a shocking development, the defending champ goes down in Round 1! Graystoke and a bunch of little kids raise their arms in triumph and move to Round 2.