Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 12 - tooge versus KCtotheSB
 

Venue - indoor basketball court infested with angry killer bees
Starting Distance - 49 feet

tooge

Main Weapon - Crossbow and 6 bolts
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 9 seconds
Special Factors - A woman is tied to a sawmill between you and your opponent and you must save her within ten minutes or be disqualified.

KCtotheSB

Main Weapon - Saturday Night Special .22 semiautomatic handgun (6 shot, 6 bullets)
Backup Weapon - Bullwhip

Prep Time - 18 seconds
Special Factors - You have a jet pack good for ten minutes of flight

When the fight begins, KCtotheSB shoots the woman. Game over.

Yeah, this isn't even close

This is one where I would have to yield to the weapons experts. Wazu's non-standard strategy notwithstanding, I would view the sawmill woman as largely irrelevant since the match will end well before ten minutes, and the bees are equally an annoyance unless one of the weapons is easier to aim and fire while you're slapping at them.

The jet pack confers some advantage to KCtotheSB, though more for speed than height.

So which weapon is more accurate and more powerful? The crossbow is probably more likely to cause an incapacitating injury, but has a much slower rate of fire. For that reason, I'll assume that the .22 pistol has an advantage, and will vote for KCtotheSB. I think this match ends quickly, other than the ten-minute wait for the woman to be killed by the sawmill.

tooge shoots jet pack, boom! game over...

I would agree with this if it's an automatic DQ once the woman is dead. If the full 10 minutes have to elapse for the DQ to be valid, it could still end a double elimination.

As Mr Wazu said, assuming both contestants know the special conditions Mr tooge is a goner in this one.

Tooges chokes out his opponent and pulls off the upset.

Are the weapons randomized? Seems like we've had a lot of contestants with various types of bows.

Yeah, they're randomized. The backup weapons are randomized from a smaller universe of hand weapons, while the main weapons run the full gamut.

I also have a factor in the selection where the two are somewhat likely to get weapons in the same range of lethality. But that's only a 50/50 deal.

Crossbow all day.

Haha. Yeah that pretty much does it.

Tooge is Toast

Saturday Night Special and Bullwhip all day.
KCtoSB should move on

Yeah, I'm pretty much screwed in this one if that happens. UNLESS! Is the woman hot?
If so, that changes everything.

Also, he has almost no chance at hitting me at 49 feet with a saturday night special. They are super inaccurate from that far, whereas a crossbow is money from there. I still need to know if the woman is hot though. Psycological warfare might come into play

Of course the woman is hot. Based on my movie research, they're always hot in this type of situation.

Ok, I can get her to play ball then. I'll offer her money. She will seduce what's his face, I'll take him out, save her from the bees, and be on my way.

Unfortunately, the hot woman dies. Oh, and tooge as well. KCtotheSB is a coldhearted killer with his (likely stolen) gun.