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-   -   Other Sports Gladiator 2018 - Round 4, Match 2 - Sofa King versus kysirsoze (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=317178)

Rain Man 09-03-2018 02:10 PM
Gladiator 2018 - Round 4, Match 2 - Sofa King versus kysirsoze
 
We're down to the Elite Eight - the toughest and/or luckiest warriors on the planet.

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue - A penguin rookery in Antarctica
Starting Distance - 44 feet

Sofa King

Main Weapon - Pepper spray
Backup Weapon - Bo Staff

Prep Time - 6 seconds
Special Factors - None

kysirsoze

Main Weapon - Brass knuckles with big blades that look like bear claws (both hands)
Backup Weapon - Police baton

Prep Time - 11 Minutes
Special Factors - None

kysirsoze 09-03-2018 02:20 PM
If he lets loose with that pepper spray, those penguins will do my job for me. They won't need to though, because spray or no, I'm basically Wolverine vs a guy with a stick. This is a bloody one.

Bowser 09-03-2018 02:30 PM
How many shots of pepper spray does one of those dispensers hold, anyway?

TLO 09-03-2018 03:28 PM
Um...

TLO 09-03-2018 03:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bowser (Post 13706411)
How many shots of pepper spray does one of those dispensers hold, anyway?
I can't imagine it's very many...

LoneWolf 09-03-2018 03:53 PM
Brass knuckles won’t fit over gloves and wearing brass knuckles on bare skin in Antarctica is going to be excruciatingly painful. Pepper spray to the face and beat to death with the bow staff is how I see it.

wazu 09-03-2018 04:24 PM
Sofa has to either use pepper spray or bo stick. Won't work to try both.

I'm betting Sofa goes with pepper spray. The problem is pepper spray is usually best having some element of surprise, which Sofa won't have. All Kysir has to do is block the spray with one hand while slashing with the other.

If Sofa goes the other route and tries bo stick it is probably a better fight. But going to have to give the edge to a sharp weapon that only has to get one good shot in to kill. Kysir wins.

Rain Man 09-03-2018 07:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoneWolf (Post 13706575)
Brass knuckles won’t fit over gloves and wearing brass knuckles on bare skin in Antarctica is going to be excruciatingly painful. Pepper spray to the face and beat to death with the bow staff is how I see it.
Interesting. I hadn't thought of the glove angle.

If I could only have one set of weapons, I think I'd take the pepper spray. The bear claws would be terrifying to face, but one must be able to see one's opponent.

Sofa King 09-03-2018 07:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoneWolf (Post 13706575)
Brass knuckles won’t fit over gloves and wearing brass knuckles on bare skin in Antarctica is going to be excruciatingly painful. Pepper spray to the face and beat to death with the bow staff is how I see it.
This is how i see it as well. Plus I'll blend in well if i wear my tuxedo coveralls.

In all seriousness, Pepperspray followed up with the Bo staff and it's all over. He's going to have a hell of a time on ice, while blind, with claws stuck to his hands and while getting the shit kicked out of his with a Bo staff.

You're a good opponent, you just got a bad draw.

VolleyGirl 09-03-2018 08:25 PM
Brass Knuckles WILL fit over thin gloves. Spent a lot of time in a frozen tundra, myself & have seen it. BIG blades from 1 hand will at least block, if not slice through, the Bo Staff. Other bear claw knuckles, which are huge, block the pepper spray, which will also have to contend with the Antarctic winds for aiming. This is all if Sofa tried to use both at once, which also diminishes impact of Bo Staff. If it were just baton vs. Bo Staff, I'd give it to the "reach" but the BIG sharp blades take away that advantage. Kysir will kill Sofa before he even gets to whatever weapon he grabs second.

Rain Man 09-03-2018 08:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VolleyGirl (Post 13707106)
Brass Knuckles WILL fit over thin gloves. Spent a lot of time in a frozen tundra, myself & have seen it. BIG blades from 1 hand will at least block, if not slice through, the Bo Staff. Other bear claw knuckles, which are huge, block the pepper spray, which will also have to contend with the Antarctic winds for aiming. This is all if Sofa tried to use both at once, which also diminishes impact of Bo Staff. If it were just baton vs. Bo Staff, I'd give it to the "reach" but the BIG sharp blades take away that advantage. Kysir will kill Sofa before he even gets to whatever weapon he grabs second.
This is a top-notch first post. As administrator of the tournament, I'll let you take whatever is in the pockets of the loser of this match.

Sofa King 09-03-2018 08:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VolleyGirl (Post 13707106)
Brass Knuckles WILL fit over thin gloves. Spent a lot of time in a frozen tundra, myself & have seen it. BIG blades from 1 hand will at least block, if not slice through, the Bo Staff. Other bear claw knuckles, which are huge, block the pepper spray, which will also have to contend with the Antarctic winds for aiming. This is all if Sofa tried to use both at once, which also diminishes impact of Bo Staff. If it were just baton vs. Bo Staff, I'd give it to the "reach" but the BIG sharp blades take away that advantage. Kysir will kill Sofa before he even gets to whatever weapon he grabs second.
Are we going to allow abvious mults to post in polls now? This one literally created the account shortly after the thread was created.

Come on Kysirsoze.... cheap way to try to get more votes

LoneWolf 09-03-2018 08:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VolleyGirl (Post 13707106)
Brass Knuckles WILL fit over thin gloves. Spent a lot of time in a frozen tundra, myself & have seen it. BIG blades from 1 hand will at least block, if not slice through, the Bo Staff. Other bear claw knuckles, which are huge, block the pepper spray, which will also have to contend with the Antarctic winds for aiming. This is all if Sofa tried to use both at once, which also diminishes impact of Bo Staff. If it were just baton vs. Bo Staff, I'd give it to the "reach" but the BIG sharp blades take away that advantage. Kysir will kill Sofa before he even gets to whatever weapon he grabs second.
You’ve seen someone wear brass knuckles over thin gloves in a frozen environment? It’s not good to start your CP posting career with an obvious lie.

VolleyGirl 09-03-2018 09:07 PM
NFL fan since childhood. Chiefs Fan since 1995. Although not on here, suffered with the rest of you through Lin Elliot, Broncos with Crisco on jerseys in home playoffs, Greg Robinson, & numerous leftover San Fran QB's. Celebrated Marty in spite of flaws, Eric Berry coming back from the big C, was present for breaking the sound record in Arrowhead both times, and am juiced about Mahomes! Hearing about Chiefs Planet for decades from guys I go to games with in different states. Was in Minnesota end of July and heard about the epic gladiator tourney. Finally thought it was too intriguing & fun to miss (well done, Rain Man), so I got on, had to be in first few days of Aug. Have voted for a few matches already. Dismiss me again, Sofa, and you'll be missing more than what's left in your pockets.

VolleyGirl 09-03-2018 09:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoneWolf (Post 13707136)
You’ve seen someone wear brass knuckles over thin gloves in a frozen environment? It’s not good to start your CP posting career with an obvious lie.
Also, Lone Wolf, 85 degrees BELOW 0 for 3 days straight classifies as tundra in my book and although weird, yes, saw a guy try brass knuckles on at a party outside without taking off his gloves. If you knew me, you'd know - I don't even tell little white lies to make people feel better. Gets me in trouble some, but people know where I stand.

kysirsoze 09-03-2018 11:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13707118)
Are we going to allow abvious mults to post in polls now? This one literally created the account shortly after the thread was created.

Come on Kysirsoze.... cheap way to try to get more votes
LMAO

Never had a mult. Mods can check on that I think.

Why would I argue on my behalf with a mult account I created specifically to cheat?? LMAO

Sofa King 09-04-2018 06:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VolleyGirl (Post 13707207)
NFL fan since childhood. Chiefs Fan since 1995. Although not on here, suffered with the rest of you through the kicker that shall go unnamed, Broncos with Crisco on jerseys in home playoffs, Greg Robinson, & numerous leftover San Fran QB's. Celebrated Marty in spite of flaws, Eric Berry coming back from the big C, was present for breaking the sound record in Arrowhead both times, and am juiced about Mahomes! Hearing about Chiefs Planet for decades from guys I go to games with in different states. Was in Minnesota end of July and heard about the epic gladiator tourney. Finally thought it was too intriguing & fun to miss (well done, Rain Man), so I got on, had to be in first few days of Aug. Have voted for a few matches already. Dismiss me again, Sofa, and you'll be missing more than what's left in your pockets.
You’re not getting this fish to bite on that bait...

Sofa King 09-04-2018 06:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kysirsoze (Post 13707464)
LMAO

Never had a mult. Mods can check on that I think.

Why would I argue on my behalf with a mult account I created specifically to cheat?? LMAO
Cause you’re facing certain elimination, and now that you’ve come this far you realize you’re scared to die, scared like a little bitch.

wazu 09-04-2018 07:41 AM
VolleyGirl is with me. Made her account weeks ago of her own volition. Not an alt.

Sofa King 09-04-2018 08:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wazu (Post 13707607)
VolleyGirl is with me. Made her account weeks ago of her own volition. Not an alt.
Her join date says August 3rd. It’s only the 4th today, soooo...

wazu 09-04-2018 08:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13707650)
Her join date says August 3rd. It’s only the 4th today, soooo...
This is September.

Sofa King 09-04-2018 08:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wazu (Post 13707656)
This is September.
Well mother ****er, look at me. Times flies when you’re having fun I guess.

kysirsoze 09-04-2018 10:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13707561)
Cause you’re facing certain elimination, and now that you’ve come this far you realize you’re scared to die, scared like a little bitch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13707650)
Her join date says August 3rd. It’s only the 4th today, soooo...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13707660)
Well mother ****er, look at me. Times flies when you’re having fun I guess.
Well this is embarrassing. Don't worry, you're about to be violently put out of your misery.

Sofa King 09-04-2018 10:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kysirsoze (Post 13707814)
Well this is embarrassing. Don't worry, you're about to be violently put out of your misery.
Time flies when you’re kicking ass, not that you’d know. You barely got out of the last round.

Rain Man 09-04-2018 10:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13707660)
Well mother ****er, look at me. Times flies when you’re having fun I guess.
Hey, you had me convinced.

Sofa King 09-04-2018 10:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 13707860)
Hey, you had me convinced.
It’s because of my natural born leader tendencies. I’m a warrior, i’ll take a few stab wounds, scratches with tiny little claws, maybe even forgot what month it is, but damnit people will follow me to victory!

1COOLDOG 09-04-2018 03:07 PM
Wouldn't the pepper spray be useless due to it being frozen in a metal canister?

Sofa King 09-05-2018 06:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1COOLDOG (Post 13708506)
Wouldn't the pepper spray be useless due to it being frozen in a metal canister?
It’s not going to instantly freeze at T-0. It’ll be fine in the time it takes me to kill Kyser

Sofa King 09-05-2018 10:16 AM
Don’t forget to cast your votes (for me) if you haven’t already.

DJ's left nut 09-05-2018 10:24 AM
The Bo staff has a significant reach advantage. It would be hard to get inside of one of those to attack with the wolverine claws.

I think Sofa King holds him back with some well time parries and thrusts before Kysir makes a wild lunge and Sofa comes around to brain him.

The actual 'death' process will be pretty nasty as it will just be a whole bunch of blunt force trauma to the face, but I feel like Sofa has the better weapon to neutralize and incapacitate.

Sofa King 09-05-2018 10:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ's left nut (Post 13709586)
The Bo staff has a significant reach advantage. It would be hard to get inside of one of those to attack with the wolverine claws.

I think Sofa King holds him back with some well time parries and thrusts before Kysir makes a wild lunge and Sofa comes around to brain him.

The actual 'death' process will be pretty nasty as it will just be a whole bunch of blunt force trauma to the face, but I feel like Sofa has the better weapon to neutralize and incapacitate.
I agree. You’re an intelligent human.

kysirsoze 09-05-2018 10:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ's left nut (Post 13709586)
The Bo staff has a significant reach advantage. It would be hard to get inside of one of those to attack with the wolverine claws.

I think Sofa King holds him back with some well time parries and thrusts before Kysir makes a wild lunge and Sofa comes around to brain him.

The actual 'death' process will be pretty nasty as it will just be a whole bunch of blunt force trauma to the face, but I feel like Sofa has the better weapon to neutralize and incapacitate.
Haha. Outrageous. Sofa hasn't even bothered to claim any kind of weapon proficiency. No way he could pull off what you're suggesting. I have punched people before. All the proficiency I need with my very simple and extremely deadly weapon.

Sofa King 09-05-2018 10:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kysirsoze (Post 13709608)
Haha. Outrageous. Sofa hasn't even bothered to claim any kind of weapon proficiency. No way he could pull off what you're suggesting. I have punched people before. All the proficiency I need with my very simple and extremely deadly weapon.
Donkey Punching your mom in the fart box doesn’t count bitch.

kysirsoze 09-05-2018 10:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13709621)
Donkey Punching your mom in the fart box doesn’t count bitch.
I feel like punching your face wouldn't be a lot different. Her defenses are probably stronger, too.

Sofa King 09-05-2018 10:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kysirsoze (Post 13709627)
I feel like punching your face wouldn't be a lot different. Her defenses are probably stronger, too.
Bitch, I’ve seen your mom, his defenses are definitely mighty.

Sofa King 09-05-2018 08:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13709576)
Don’t forget to cast your votes (for me) if you haven’t already.
It's not too late. Come ride with me all the way to the end!

Sofa King 09-06-2018 02:16 PM
I dedicate this bump to all those people who are excited to see Patrick Mahomes this weekend. Those people should definitely vote for Sofa King

Rain Man 09-06-2018 02:34 PM
At the end of the day, Antarctic penguins who have never encountered a polar bear find themselves in therapy, and kysirsoze moves on to Round 5 (the final four).

Sofa King 09-06-2018 03:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 13712003)
At the end of the day, Antarctic penguins who have never encountered a polar bear find themselves in therapy, and kysirsoze moves on to Round 5 (the final four).
You ended this too soon

kysirsoze 09-07-2018 02:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13712104)
You ended this too soon
Sorry man. Guess three aren't many Mahomes fans on this board, you pandering bastard.

Sofa King 09-07-2018 06:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kysirsoze (Post 13713105)
Sorry man. Guess three aren't many Mahomes fans on this board, you pandering bastard.
I was down a vote, launched my hail mary. The problem was Rain Man cut the damn poll short! I just needed a little more time.

Oh well, guess my job is to either back you up the rest of the tournament or be the villian and try to tear you down. I'll have to see how i feel after I get done ruining Rain Man's reputation.

Rain Man 09-07-2018 07:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13712104)
You ended this too soon
That's not what the penguins said.

kysirsoze 09-07-2018 10:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13713146)
I was down a vote, launched my hail mary. The problem was Rain Man cut the damn poll short! I just needed a little more time.

Oh well, guess my job is to either back you up the rest of the tournament or be the villian and try to tear you down. I'll have to see how i feel after I get done ruining Rain Man's reputation.
After your spurious mult claims, you owe me.

Sofa King 09-07-2018 10:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kysirsoze (Post 13713470)
After your spurious mult claims, you owe me.
I think maybe you should take a step back and look at what kind of person you are that people would so quickly assume your shadiness.

Sofa King 09-07-2018 10:31 AM
1 Attachment(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 13713232)
That's not what the penguins said.
Better check your sources.

Sofa King 06-10-2024 07:19 AM
I've been training. I want my rematch.

kysirsoze 06-10-2024 07:38 AM
LMAO

KurtCobain 06-10-2024 07:59 AM
Looks like it took you six years, but you finally won this match.

Otter 06-10-2024 10:49 AM
1 Attachment(s)
Say hello to the OG, bitches!!!

Sofa King 06-10-2024 11:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KurtCobain (Post 17546612)
Looks like it took you six years, but you finally won this match.
It feels good to be a champion


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