Kim Jong Un - Overweight Smoker with health issues.
 

You can click here to support CNN's version of journalism.

https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/20/polit...rea/index.html

Bottom line: he apparently had heart surgery and there are rumblings that it didn't go well. He was last seen on April 11th and didn't make an appearance at Kim Il Sung's birthday anniversary, which is the biggest holiday in North Korea. (Presumably they eat turkey and watch football on that day.)

I dunno, though. He seems like the prototype bullseye of a certain virus that targets overweight smokers who (according to official lore) never use the bathroom. He's only in his 30s, but he fits the profile.

Jesus Christ. Hes like my age.

He's sound like Konstantin Chernenko he started smoking when he was nine!

That's the best Konstantin Chernenko trivia I've heard all year.

Rain man it is till Gorbachev came to power the three guys before him dropped like flies not very long time in power.

Marshall Kim Jong-Un has spent the past month in Ryanggang province, directing much improved Alien sequel as a respected expert on terraforming, as well as composing theatrical score.

Previous films condemned for lack of revolutionary fervor among space marines.

Maybe we slipped him a rona laced Marlboro...

His sister is ****ing crazy, and that's saying something.

Apparently in a coma. Since he killed his half brother, NK may get a female Premier before us. I hear she's batshit crazier.

All that boy needs is a nice, hot bowl of bat soup.

FAX

S. Korea is saying he's fine.

He supposedly has a standing order that if he dies that the military is to automatically launch nukes at SK and the US.

So who would take over if he kicks the proverbial bucket?

If they put him in a tub of dry rice it will fix him.

SK says there’s no evidence to support that he’s gravely ill, and believes that he’s touring NK provinces with his aides. So who knows!?!?!!

Baghdad Bob Reporting CNN News

From what I've read his sister and she's a complete nut job.

The Doctors were executed for telling him to quit smoking.

How much sugar and cocaine has this guy been doing?! My God!!!!

Seems hard to believe that if there is some hard core illness with this dude that we would know anything about it...but I guess even in the gulag that is NK there are leaks...

...oh, thoughts and prayers...I guess...

Trey Parker and Matt Stone (the creators of South Park) would take over the day-to-day operations.

He preformed his own heart surgery on himself and is rehabbing by climbing mountains in shorts and a tee shirt...

Growing up in NK I don't think you're ever going to be normal according to our standards.

Perfect time for a coup if the report on his health is true.

We should really send gochiefs over there to whip him into shape. “How to go from obese adolescent to shredded Casanova in 10 simple steps” gochiefs would be hailed as a national hero.

Is this a cryptic North Korean message? I keep reading it but still can't figure out what you're trying to say.

While shooting 9 holes of golf, Making a hole in one on each one.

Sounds like a mix of karma and justice to me.

I think his haircut should be the new CP style.

Doesn't he put people in jail for having the same haircut?

With control of Nukes? Nothing to worry about there.:eek:

I didn't tell you to go to North Korea with it...

I thought it was for not having the same haircut. We should confirm that before going there.

He's probably just faking a serious illness to binge watch The Last Dance documentary.

He was a huge Bulls fan growing up apparently (before he gained 700 pounds)...

https://nesn.com/wp-content/uploads/...im-jong-un.jpg

I liked the "overwork" zinger.

That place is so locked down we (the rest of the world) will never know what's happening there for sure. The last time I looked, they supposedly didn't have any COVID-19 cases.

Have we signed this POS yet?

The fact that he didn't show up to his father's birthday celebration is ominous.

If he does die, or even if he just remains in a coma overlong, there's going to be a spate of assassinations. Er, I meant 'inexplicable but "natural" deaths' among the cabinet. It'll be interesting to see whether his sister comes through that alive. If she does, that'll indicate to me that she's a lot smarter and more dangerous than I currently give her credit for.

I'm not sure if NK has any first round picks this year but if they do they might be able to pick up a new dictator in the draft. There are also some quality options in the later rounds as dictator is a pretty deep position this year.

Probably just got the shits
He’ll be fine
sec

He doesn't poop, this must be serious.

Kaffee:
You said he was being transferred, because he was in grave danger.

Jessup:
That's correct.

Kaffee:
You said he was in danger. I said "grave danger"?

https://starecat.com/content/wp-cont...otoshopped.jpg

So still no news about his health?

I'm monitoring the situation, and it's becoming more confused. It appears tha there's some walking back now on "grave danger", but it was still seen as a really big deal that he missed their holiday situation. I guess it's possible that he was just laid up and is now recovering. But I wonder who the intelligence source was who first broke the "grave danger" thing. Something happened to cause that rumor, whether it was legit or not.

There's probably a lot of angst about appearing in public after an illness when you're trying to convince people that you're a god.

Pretty sure he's still alive or as I said earlier, a lot of cabinet members would be dead or running for their lives. Or Kim's sister would be dead. Since none of that has happened, he's probably still kicking and consciously giving orders.

Due to my superior expertise in diagnosing people based on being a smoker and being obese, I'm going to go with a broken wrist.

Kim Jong doesn’t like to pull his own dong, so Clays the one to help?

Kim Jong Un looks like he ate Kim Jong Il