I just mailed poop through UPS
 

Colon screening thing, but it just seems very strange to poop in a bucket and mail it to someone.

I usually just leave it on their doorstep.

Just "ship" it to the lab...

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I mail poop to random people all the time.

I'd love to tap that glass jaw of yours

As long as you follow the instructions, you are probably good.

They do frown on you just pooping in a bucket and sending it to them.

They probably do a DNA check on you to see if you match up with any other crimes.

Also don't try to mix poop from the whole family. Make up your own punchline for that result.

I am surprised the uses allows it.

the worst job ever

working receivables for cologaurd

Can you ever decide if you want to fight or ****?

How would you like to be the guy with the job to open the box???

Rough sex is the best sex

Did you seal and send it before or after the flies and maggots gathered?

Yeah, I'm not clicking that link.

Ha, what a joke.

My Dr just asked me to send spread eagle photos of my bhole and was able to quickly tell me it was all good.

In Uganda that's a marriage proposal.

What? You wouldn't want to send 3lb's of elephant or gorilla poop to your friends?

I used to work for Quest Diagnostics. Flying through the mail at any given time are tons of poop, piss, boogers, spit, phlegm, ear wax, hair, breast milk, semen, and any other bodily substance that can be easily gathered.

Um...my step Daughter is no longer collecting mail.....just for the record.

Too late...12 surprise packages have already been sent.

Guarantee you I've sent and received more Semen in the mail than all of you combined X10.

Send them to me first I'll let you know if they are good enough or not

The National Lampoon used to have a magazine, very witty and all, and it had a true facts section with weird funny true stories in it...One was about a colon screening campaign in Miami asking people to send in samples of their poop for testing---if you paid attention to the public service ad you'd learn how to get a testing kit to send in...Many did not listen however and were pooping in to envelopes and mailing them in...Problem was highlighted at the US postal service, with these poop filled envelopes going through their automatic sorting machines