My first love's name was Scruncho
 

Being in St. Joseph is tough business. Meth, payday loans, reasonable Mini-Golf prices. That is where it all started, like cinnimon rolls delievered from the Schwan's man my loins directed to the 5th hole. The one where the windmill delightfully goes around like a thing that goes around delightfully. Her name was Scruncho. Scruncho means beast in the wild in st josephese. The way she was scratching her back with a putter while the rash in one of her folds of back longed for a back scratcher. Our first date was a good one. I took her to the place that held special meaning for both of us. I took her to the Mini-Golf course. There I showed her how to put ... sort arms couldn't get wrapped around her jean skirt. She was much much too fat. I loved the way she looked at me. She lit up around me like finding a rouge chili fry that fell in between the seats of her dodge Caravan. All the times she got a belly ache and I had to use a wheel barrow to take her to the barn for cleaning. Her hair was matted red and white and smooshed like a baby dear ran over by THE SNACK BARN the roller snack bar that came around. Today Scruncho.

You find your moms meds? Don’t delete your contacts… you won’t be able to see

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Drugs are a hell of a drug.

Football season can’t start soon enough… Can Scruncho play Rt tackle by the way???

Im glad you found true love

****, now I need a drink

Scruncho loved watching Yellowstone, partly because her ass was the size of montana

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Is this the new blackout drunk thread?

Penz remember when we helped your uncle do touch up paint on his trim and we just filled the rest of the quart back up with our semen so we could reseal it and return it to Menards?

Worth it, those marshmallow peeps were the bomb

“Scruncho” translation to English: “My own personal ‘Crying Game’.” Why is Forest Whitaker laughing?

What kind of reeruned shit is this?

You've never been to St Joe? OP is the most St Joe thing I've ever read.

You upset no one is advocating for rape in this thread?

https://c.tenor.com/rj-zRFFwhakAAAAC/tenor.gif

It's okay, he was probably drinking heavily and won't remember having typed this.

Beautiful tribute to Scruncho.

Still a better love story than Cave's Belize thread.

An Americana love story

Sounds like a good name for foreskin before it’s removed and donated to the eyelids for people without eyelids foundation

I’ll never get over Macho Grande. Those wounds run pretty deep.

Guess we know what penz's nickname for his hand is - Scruncho

He messaged 50 meth heads across St. Joe to determine you're a total piece of shit.

Freckles, I imagine.
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This Scruncho live close to you?

He is taken with this lass.
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There Are Hundreds of Schrunchos Within 50 Miles of Your Location That Would Love to Meet You!

Eminem was born in St Joseph Missouri

It’s good, ‘penz but, it’s not orphan midget prisoner good.

https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=24571