Who wins in a fight? Round #2 - Featuring Vladimir_Kyrilytch and Jewish Rabbi
 

We're in the dog days of April here in the off-season, so we're going to have to find ways to entertain ourselves for a while.

The members of www.chiefsplanet.com started a fight club! All fights will take place at the George Brett Statue inside a steel cage. There is no escape from the cage. The only way to win is to incapacitate your opponent. Jim Ross and Jerry the King Lawler will call each fight.

Any type of advantage can/will be given to whoever I feel like. The rules are made up and the points don't matter.

Now let's get ready to rumble!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vladimir - is wearing a T-shirt on that says "I love Mississippi." Has a ballpoint pen in his pocket as well as .58 cents worth of change. 2 quarters. A nickel, and 3 pennies.

Jewish Rabbi - Has a Mezuzah. Nothing else. Not even clothes.

Who wins???

People named Vladimir have been persecuting people named Jewish Rabbi since the beginning of time…and it doesn’t stop here.

Advantage: Gentile

Rabbi ****s his shit up in short order.

Next.

The Rabbi in a laugher...

It’s a win of sorts for both. Rabbi beats him up, but then beats him off.

I’ll make sure to bring my tweezers to jack him off after I beat his skull in with my dreidel

Jewish Rabbi ****s him up then ****s him

I'll have you all know I took three to four Aikido classes at the YMCA about 15 years ago, so I got the training. Would have been a blue belt but it conflicted with a Chiefs/Raiders MNF game so I didnt show up.

Also, cops are always making me go to the hospital for "being a danger to myself OR OTHERS!" JR would qualify as an other in this case.

For these reasons, I'm expecting the votes to start tilting my way.

Rabbi is still butthurt

Two winners in this round. Sodomy and fart smell.

The Jewish people are much better joke tellers than fighters.

All Russians except Yakov Smirnoff are much better angry fighters and horrible joke tellers.

I'm leaning Vlad in an upset.

Are you also an expert at gorilla warfare?

Judging from the comments here: http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/forumdisplay.php?f=30

JR is, in all likelihood, a Banderite Nazi who is working in collusion George Soros, Charles Schwab, and the WEF to usher in the NWO and enslave us all, while VK is our last gasp at true freedom on the global stage.

I think I am going to put my money on the asteroid that wipes out all of humanity, including JR and VK.

My money is on vlad only because every time I see one of his asinine, self-aggrandizing, multi-paragraph posts, I question my own will to live. I can only assume he would break JR by talking him to death. No disrespect JR.

Charles Schwab eh? LMAO

JR’s name was on the small leaflet of Jewish sports legends, so I’ll take him.

Jewish Rabbi, he seems nice.

Sure. Klaus Schwab, lol....some Schwab.

anyone named vlad is definitely going to take down a rabbi

tbh i've never met anyone on CP outside threebag and that turd coop who is more full of shit and hot air than rabbi

i bet he has bedsores

I don’t vote for friends, and I’ll be honest and admit I’d drink a beer with either one of these gentlemen.
However, I would keep my back to the wall.
sec

I don't know much about guns. Is the mezuzah automatic or semi-automatic?

hey thanks Mr Clark, I'd drink a beer with you too. I would also regale you with my stories of Civil War combat. Out of politeness, you won't point out that that war ended in 1865 and that no human alive ever saw any of that combat. You'll forget all about the dates of the thing when I tell you what it was like at Parker's Crossroads. It was tough fighting. Not all of us made it back across the Tennessee River to celebrate New Years, 1863.

I'm in big trouble if guns are allowed. I'll have an old 1800's flintlock. JR, by right of his Jewish heritage, gets the Frank Clark weapon of choice: the Uzi.

But actually, I get an AK-47 by the rights of being Vladimir. I like my odds again.

Why the **** would I ever post in DC

You’ve never met me you cuckold

This one is easy.

Jews have one love. Money. Jewish Rabbi shows up swinging gold bar nunchucks.

Russians are poor. Their number one love, because they are so poor, is potatoes. Vlad shows up with a sack of potatoes and is so malnourished he's weaker than the Russian army trying to take over Ukraine.

I have two loves. Money and porn

The potatoes you are familiar with are fainty American kinds like Idaho Russets. Those won't hold up well in a combat scenario. But I would be bringing Russian potatoes: Nevskys.

Nevsky potatoes are best suited for duels and cooked applications such as boiling, sautéing, and roasting. The large tubers hold their shape well through the cooking process, and the dense flesh can be cubed and tossed into the face of JR, rendering him helpless.

I feel like vlad is legitimately insane

this would give him a slight advantage

I see him biting Rabbis nose off or something

I'm going with the Rabbi. I've met a couple of them and they're pretty tough guys, rivalling nuns with rulers.

Billay will be the winner

He'll let them fight it out for a while and exhaust themselves, then he'll step in and whip both of them before whipping out his purple, pulsating hog

At that point, they'll be too beat up to do anything about what comes next...

Jewish noses are too big to fit in a mouth

I have a joke.

Why are Jews noses so big?

To make up for their small cocks

No.

Why are Jews noses so big?

Because air is free!!!

Are the dreidel and the tweezers up your ass?

I wanna fight the Rabbi

I got Vlad in this one! He beats him, then impales him with his soul pole!

Your 450 pound ass can’t even get out of your moms basement

Vlad face down in a ditch with a Hemingway book hanging out his ass...

"Death in the Afternoon", specifically.

LMAO

This is actually a fair point.

170 actually.

And I’d love to knock you out.

Only thing you’ll be knocking out is a double whopper and some large fries

I stick the tweezers up my urethra

I was being serious. It would be so satisfying

I was too. Maybe your mom will doordash it for you tonight

Keep the pigeons away awhile anyway

Pretty sure JR is a bitch, so I’ll go with Vlad.

She gave me the go ahead.

PM me your address so I can come by and knock you out.

Fake ass Russian can't beat anyone

NEXT!

no one here has ever met you

you're a big fraud

you're the quintessential keyboard warrior

This. Dude is a bitch.

That’s why I wanna fight him. Not joking either. He’s never said a funny thing.

All three statements are false

Man this thread got cringey real quick.

this post is false

This thread is false

Lots of false narratives.

Rabbi due to Vlad beating the shit out of himself after he sober reads his posts

Thank you for this thread. I have thoroughly enjoyed it. I am not going to pick a winner due to having the utmost respect for each of them. I will leave this one up to destiny.

I want InvinciBill vs BEP

To help us decide -

1. Please post photos of each contestant. No nudes.
2. Stats would be nice. Since the draft is coming up, maybe we could see height, weight, hand size, 40 time, and 3 cone drill time. Also the number of times you can bench press 225 pounds in a row would be excellent. No cheating. We want this contest to be a fair fight.
3. Previous fight record would be good.
4. Any other info, like do you like long walks on the beach or favorite color would be good.

Based on the fact that no one wants to wrestle and be groped by Billay, he probably has the overall contest won.

To the victor go the spoils!

Rabbi needs to PM me and we will exchange FB profiles

I wanna knock him out

Rabbi serves Vlad a big slice of **** pie

I would have gone for the Russian but they all tried to murder me and threw me in the river after poisoning my wine and shooting me four times. Like the Ukraine war they just couldn't get the job done.

Lmao you sound like a 12 year old

Can we please have nudes?

You assume I ever get sober.

Hard to call. Sober I'd have to go with a Russian, but sober seems highly unlikely. Depends how much of Rabbi's life-force has been drained by a 14th Brazzers-inspired w@nk of the day.

BEP would get him in a scissor leg lock, I seen that on the WWE.

https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZU5sx1Q2p...k8/s1600/5.jpg

Liar - It's PORN and MONEY.

The stupid shit the betas of the board discuss...

Kccrow, YOU are the beta cause you backed down from a perfectly reasonable challenge. You were scared. I created a whole fantasy football league to get you CPers to play. With one exception, the gentleman and scholar Tye Copeland, you all waived your white beta flags and said no I can't compete. I'm lesser than.

Meanwhile me and Tye had a great time in our league and your boy VK took the championship just like I said I would do.

Where were you? Out doing beta things no doubt.

I’ve met him lol.

and then the midgets