Saying "Goodbye" to my old man
 

My dad passed away this week. He was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer earlier this year, and had been going through chemo.

I think the family had been lulled a little into a false sense of security, of time, because he had been tolerating the chemo so well. The doctors had found a concoction they thought his heart and liver (the two most vulnerable organs he had) could work through.

I don't know if it was complications from the chemo, but his heart gave out earlier this week.

Now, I'm not writing this as a look-at-me or cry for sympathy. I'm doing this because when I think about my dad, I think about the Chiefs, and watching games with him. He's the reason I care so much. There's another reason, too, but I'll talk about it at the end.

I am so, so thankful my dad and I got to see the past five years of the Chiefs together. That he got to see them get back to the top of the mountain this year.

He was always a more even-keel, optimistic fan than me. He endured the succession of washed up QBs with eternal optimism and belief that they could turn it around in KC, just like Lenny did.

I used to sarcastically thank him for raising me as a Royals/Chiefs/Mizzou fan, but damn if that didn't make 2014, 2015, and 2018-now all the sweeter. Now I thank him in earnest.

I'm so thankful he got to see that run end (and return the good-natured digs to his fraternity brother from Colorado, who never stopped reminding Dad about the 1983 draft).

We'll put him to rest tomorrow. Going to be a hard day, no doubt about it. But I'm confident that when I watch the Chiefs, it's going to bring the good things out. When I talk about them on here, it's going to bring the good things out.

Now, that other thing I mentioned at the top; if you're wondering if there's anything you can do, what I'd really like is for you to commit to taking care of yourselves. Go to the doctor. And please, please, please get your colonoscopies. My dad's cancer started as colon cancer before spreading. He never had a colonoscopy, and I can't help but think if he just HAD, he'd still be here. We would have caught it early enough and stopped it.

And I wouldn't be standing in his place at my sister's wedding next spring. I wouldn't be giving the speech, I'd be helping him write it.

If you've read all of this, thanks for letting me ramble. Sometimes, getting the words out is the best thing for this.

Go to your check-ups. Get the colonoscopy.

It's great to hear what an amazing relationship you and your father had. I'm actually a bit jealous, as I never had such a relationship with my father, but I'm hopeful in time we may become closer.

You ask for folks to take care of themselves, but make sure you are taking care of yourself and the others around you during this time.

God Speed to your father.

I know how you feel, my Dad died in March from Leukemia, he didn’t know he had it until December. It took him out quick. Still getting used to his absence. :(

My condolences.

Sorry for your loss. He sounds like a great guy and it’s easy to tell that he is because he raised you.

I'm so sorry, Duncan. My condolences.

Great post, though. I had my first colonoscopy right after I turned 50. Clean as a whistle. Now 3 years out from the next one, I'm hoping they've improved the pre-game prep routine.

Great post! May your father rest in peace. Appreciate the reminder about colonoscopies. I had to cancel the one I had scheduled in January due to an unexpected work trip and I haven't rescheduled.

Sorry to hear of your loss. Very nice post though. I am 62 and get a physical every year and had a colonoscopy a couple of years ago. But this was a great PSA basically in honor of your dad.

Good luck tomorrow, that is going to be tough I am sure.

Condolences, Duncan.

To your last point, I had my doctor order me a Colorguard after a routine visit on Monday

I hadn't heard of it, and for those that don't know, its a colon cancer pre-screen intended for 45 and older that can be administered at home

Its "good" for 3 years, but can lead to a full colonoscopy recommendation if it gives off an indicator of possible cancer dna and/or blood in the stool

Rip, sorry for your loss.

I lost my dad 14 years ago to esophageal cancer 2 months before my granddaughter was born. He was so looking forward to spoiling her , but sadly never got the chance. Still hurts when I think about it.

Sorry to hear that. God Speed to your pops.
Good advice you have given- Get your check ups CP!

Sorry for your loss. R.I.P

My deepest sympathy on your loss. I too am jealous of your relationship with your dad. I never had that with my dad and he died 7 years ago. Fortunately I have a great relationship with my step-dad who has been in my life for over 40 years now.

I have no doubt that watching that first Chiefs game without him will bring a few tears, of both joy and loss. Revel in those good times. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Sorry for your loss Duncan. I can't imagine losing my dad. He is my rock in life. I hope you and your family can celebrate his life, and that he lives on in the impact he had on you and your loved ones. That legacy is the best gift you can give him in his afterlife, I imagine. Condolences.

Sorry for your loss of your father, Duncan. Sounds like he was a good one. I'm glad he got to enjoy 2 Super Bowl wins and seeing Mahomes play for his favorite team.

Also want to reiterate the point you made about getting Colonoscopies. I believe the age you are supposed to start is now 45, then you don't need one again for 10 years. If anybody reading this is 40+ and still not seeing their doc for an annual physical, it's time to change that. You can live another 40+ years, but if you aren't getting the check-ups recommended by your doctor that timeline could be cut dramatically and tragically short.

Lost mine two years ago, I just received an old photo album in the mail from my brother yesterday the was full of photos of my Dad and I playing when I was a toddler. Now I'm 59 ,Just hits home at how short life really is.

Condolences my friend.

Sorry for your loss. I lost my dad a long time ago. It's a life changer. Try and remember the good times. All the best moving forward.

Condolences to you, Duncan. It's nice that you had a good relationship with your father.

I'm scheduled for a colonoscopy next month. The prep isn't much fun, but it's only once or twice a decade so it's not a big deal.

Man, that's tough. Condolences to you and yours.

You are so lucky to have had that. You realize how moments like that truly are a blessing and don't let them go unnoticed from that point.

It's funny how all your memories take on different meanings. Things become more or less important.

I'll pray for ya' man...

Never know what to say. My condolences. My parents have been gone a long time.


On a lighter note-My colonoscopy proves I have a tattoo.

You have a tattoo on your colon and didn't know?

I knew.

But when someone asks if I have a tattoo, I say yes. Then ask if they want to see pictures.

Sorry for your loss, he sounded like a great man.
My condolences

My condolences. Cancer sucks.

Sorry for your loss

Sorry for your loss brother...it's tough - I lost my Father-in-law (who was a hero of mine) a few years back to leukemia - you never forget but the sadness slowly turns to smiles when you reflect back...

Condolences Duncan. Sounds like he was a great man/father.
Never easy losing a parent, I wish you well.

Sorry for your loss. R.I.P

Thanks Duncan we need a reminder, especially us guys to get checked out from time to time.

And sorry for the loss of your dad he sounded like a great guy.

My mother-in-law was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer in January of 2017. By September she was gone. Despite knowing the odds against her long term survival, initially they had her on a treatment that really seemed to be effective, and I was frankly amazed by how well she was doing. Don't recall the specific details, but eventually her body just stopped responding to treatment, and then she started getting a build up of fluid in her lungs that they had to drain. After enduring that twice, she said no more. They stopped the treatment and put her in hospice, and she was dead a day later. It was awful, but at least she didn't suffer horribly for very long.

The really weird thing was how quickly the tumor popped up and grew. She had already survived breast cancer and had screenings regularly. The last one she had was in October of 2016, and she was cancer free. She was in her late 70s, active and the picture of health; hell, I always figured she'd outlive all of us; her mom died at the age of 97. The goddamn thing went from nothing to massive and fatal inside of three months. I guess sometimes when your number's up, it's just up.

Anyway, sorry about your dad. Be happy that you had such a good one for as long as you did.

Lost my old man when he was only 58 about 5 years ago. Hardest thing Ive ever had to go thru. He was an avid Chiefs fan. He would have loved Mahomes. Sorry to hear of your loss.

Sometimes we never know what we have until it’s gone.
Sometimes we do know.
You’re one of the lucky ones Duncan.
May your father rest in peace, and best wishes to you and yours.
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I'm sorry for your loss. Kudos for advocating for early colonoscopies. So glad he got to witness the last five years of the Chiefs.

Condolences on the loss of your father. Thank you for sharing that as it must not have been easy to write. Also thank you for sharing that advice as it could possibly save someone on here's life.

Got my GI two years ago when I turned 45. One miserable night of prep that’s for sure, but it’ll be every 5 years going FW


Good message.

Sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad a year and a half ago. Still occasionally have issues with dust in my eyes....

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Condolences, Duncan. I'm glad you had such a relationship with your dad and thank you for sharing how you've become a rabid fan due to his influence. Scream a little louder next time you're at a game for him.

**** cancer

You love a good jet streaming shit.

My condolences to you and your family. Going through something similar with my dad, and like you, he's also the reason I'm a Chiefs' fan. Hang in there.

Losing someone that close is a heart-wrenching experience. You have my condolences.

I can tell you that it doesn't ever get easy but every day that passes takes me further away from overwhelming grief and there are now times I can look back and smile or laugh instead of just breaking down into a heap.

Big hugs man.

Lost my father in November to complications from Alzheimer's. He took me to my first Chiefs game, the infamous Elway asking the ref to quiet the crowd game. He was absolutely the reason I became a Chiefs fan...and he wasn't even all that big of a fan. He just wanted to spend time with me.

My thoughts with you and your family. Thanks for sharing.

Very sorry to hear Duncan. For what it's worth from a total stranger...you always seem a good natured, good dude in the little I've interacted with you, normally in the draft section. I imagine that's partly down to your old man. Take it easy

So sorry for the loss of your father. I'm glad your father got to see this version of the Chiefs. What a gift. Hang in there tomorrow.

Sorry for your loss. Cherish the memories. Some of the greatest memories with my Dad are Chiefs related, and I think of him often while watching the Chiefs, especially in the postseason.

Sorry Duncan. He will live on through you and your kids.

Only slightly... :)

Just a slight comment here...

The Cologuard tests can come back with false positives....and then they will tell you to get a colonoscopy with your Dr.

But here is where your insurance can make your life miserable....there are some providers that will not pay for the colonoscopy if you have already done a Cologuard test.

First and foremost.....condolences to you and your family on the loss of a good man. They say we are a reflection of those we admire, and from who you appear to be here, he must have been a great dad.

I lost my Father in 2011 to cancer after a years long battle. My dad faced chemo and got better...then it came back. After battling it for several years he finally said. "I have had enough" and told them no more. He called me and did something he never did....asked me to take time off and bring the family back from out of state so he and I could talk. I knew what was coming, but was not prepared to see what I did when I arrived.

I spent the rest of the time he had ( a couple of months) just having Father and Son talks....like we did when I was young, only without all my youthful sarcasm. Those last 2 months we spent a lifetime of doing what we should have done many years before...no BS talk about life. After so many weeks of being away from work he looked at me and said..."Son, you have a life and a job...go do them". I left a day later and 3 days after that my brother in law called me and told me my sister had left the room to get a coffee...and when she came back dad had passed. (He was in Hospice)

Like many on here I am a Chiefs/Royals fan because of my dad. He taught me baseball and bought me my first lefthanders glove...it was used, but to an 9 y/o boy it was all the world. (I still have that glove)

When the Royals won the World Series I heard my Dad's voice say...I told you that they would wait until I was gone to get better and win.

When the Chiefs won their first Super Bowl in 50 years...I cried.....mostly because the man who taught me to love football and the Chiefs...my longtime Fantasy Football partner...was not around to share it with me. It still breaks my heart he didn't live to see Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid.

Let me also echo the Colonoscopy check.....I hated my first one just because I hate crapping so much your butt hurts to even think about it. But now with my health issues I get one as ordered by my Doctor.

My condolences. Cancer sucks. Lost my mom to it. Father's day coming up will be a tough day for you.

For sure. Its like a 13% false positive rate, which is above the acceptance criteria of any analysis that I'd bring to production in my non-medical role. So that kind of struck me as possible double dip scenario.

So that's good info about insurance possibly balking in those certain circumstances.

It was presented to me, and something I thought worthy of mentioning here, as an alternative for people under 50, with no family history of cancer, that may otherwise wait until they’re 50, to at least get prescreened.

T&P's to you and your family!!
Story is very similar to my fathers.
Colon Cancer took him in 2011.
And the old man is the one that took me
to Chiefs games in the old stadium, and then at Arrowhead.

Lost my father a couple years ago, I'm sorry.

Condolences Duncan.

Only you could call a seemingly well thought out, well constructed articulate post rambling.

Thanks for the colonoscopy discussion. When we were in college, my buddy's mom got colon cancer in her mid 40s and it freaked me the **** out. So it's on the radar.

You seem really well adjusted so my guess is you are handling everything with appropriate state of mind. My only recommendation is let yourself grieve. Sometimes as men we feel like it's inappropriate to do so. But you can't grieve without allowing yourself to do it.

Don't go all Roman Roy on us :)

Thanks for sharing.

sorry Dunc

I'm about 6 months late on my Colonoscopy... I will schedule tomorrow because of this... Sorry for you loss, but what a great relationship you had and great memories.

Condolences. I lost my dad in 2018, and didn't get a chance to say a proper goodbye and it still bothers me a lot. Peace, and Godspeed to your father, your family, and your heart.

So sorry for your loss.. Lost my Dad/Hero 2 years ago. My kids, grandkids and I will visit him Monday and leave flowers and remember him the way he was before dementia robbed him of his spirit..

I'm really sorry for your loss, duncan. If you ever have time to visit the Zou, look me up and we'll toast your dear, departed dad.

It was thoughtful that you posted about your dads' passing. Mine just passed a month ago and I didn't post anything. It is and was a very personal matter. I don't post that much, so I didn't see the point.

Your issue of colonoscopies' is spot on. A simple procedure to treat a time of pain. Nice touch and the responses have been a great reminder to a number of CP older dudes. I get mine every 5 years.

I have never had a closer person in my life die. It has mentally been tough. He and I played golf together often. Father, Son outing through the years. 2 weeks after he died I had a dream about us playing golf. I woke up and immediately thought "I need to call Dad to go out and play a round". Damn, I can't....

It will take time.

For me it was a mixed blessing. He died in his sleep at 86 yro. No cancer, nursing homes, hospital stays. He declined to go to the Doctor the day before. He knew. He went out on his terms.

I wish to be so lucky. None of us is going to live forever. He kinda choose how he went out. He did it right.

It doesn't make it any easier. As humans, we are selfish. I miss him and want to visit. Some day I will.

Sorry for your loss; some of my fondest memories are working in the basement with my father listening to the Chiefs on the radio. He was 51; that's 42 years ago now. He died in the morning before I got to the hospital; I got to see him every day except the last.

You don't really get over it; you just get through it, day by day.

Sorry to hear this. God Bless you and your family you are all in my prayers. Shows a good example and character mentioning to us all about staying up with dr visits etc. He is very proud of you for that. Very cool honoring him about his love for the Chiefs and other local teams as well

Sorry about your Pops.
I lost my Pops to diabetes, almost 20 years ago.
Sucks!!!

Very sorry for your loss and I think we have all had our fill of that evil cancer, including so many of my family.

Mods, please ban cancer from CP.

Is this any good? When I saw this start being marketed I was excited. Im sure an actual colonoscopy is better but nore things like this the better. Ive always been frustrated at the obstacles there are when a person simply wants to be tested .

https://www.cologuard.com

Duncan, sounds like your dad was a good father and my condolences.

Good message, too.
I got my first colonoscopy late last year. All good but I agree, it is wise to see the doctor once a year and do what is recommended. They told me to start getting one at 50. And now I have to do it once every 5 years. The prep was not pleasant but if it saves me from getting colon cancer, I'd say it was well worth it.

Duncan, I suspect your dad's greatest accomplishment in life was having a son like you!

Take care.

Sorry to hear that

Condolences, man. I suspect that a strong majority of us here can trace our love of the Chiefs back to our dads. I've lived 8 hours away from my family for 15 years now, and texting back and forth with my dad on game days is one of the way we've managed to keep the lines of communication going. I don't think people who "don't get sports" understand that part - it's as much about the relationships we form through our fandom as it is about the game itself.

Regarding the colonoscopy, I had one two years ago at age 39 as a precaution when I was having some other weird abdominal pain. The pain turned out to be unrelated, but they did find a couple of polyps during the colonoscopy that could have eventually become a problem. Now I'm on the frequent flyer program and get to do it every couple of years just to make sure something doesn't sneak in. Is it my favorite experience? Nah. But is it as bad as you'd think? Also nah. The prep is worse than the procedure.

If you're age 40+, and especially if anyone in your family has had issues, at least ask your doc if you should consider getting it done.

Sorry for your loss. Glad that you were able to share some great moments over the last decade for long suffering fans.

Sorry to hear about your dad, my dude. Ive been avoiding this thread because well, life is hard right now and i just didn't wanna hear any more bad news.

But here i am. I just learned today that my Grandfather passed away a year ago and my father, whom i haven't spoken with in 23 years, is undergoing surgery today for Stomach Cancer.

The irony of avoiding the cancer threads on here only to find out my dad has cancer. ****in' life, man.

Man brother I am so very sorry to hear this. Prayers to you and your family.

Went through it 7 years ago. Prayers for your family.

Sorry for your loss. My mom passed in Feb. Its a tough one...

This was genuine and your father was damn lucky to have you as a son as well. We're all here for such a short time. Just be good ****ing people to each other, it's as simple as it gets.

You'll see him again.

Very sorry for your loss, remember the good times!

Today would have been my dad's 65th birthday. Hitting pretty hard.

Get your screenings and go to your doctors, guys.

Squeeze your balls in the shower.

Get your colonoscopies.

Check out weird moles.

Do your normal check-ups.

All the things.

Sorry to hear that man. Lost my dad a while ago. Its tough. One day you'll catch yourself acting like your father, and you'll smile. And you'll understand, on a different level, that your dad did a good job.

Sorry about your loss. Shit sucks.

This was also the first Chiefs football season ever to be without my father, who passed last June. I do miss him often as it comes in waves, but especially when watching Chiefs.
I remember traveling in 1969 with my dad to far southern regions of Kansas just to reach past the local blackout. There in an old farmhouse crowded with some equally passionate fans, we would watch the Chiefs on a old 19" snowy B&W TV.
Oh the memories, all thanks to having such great dad's.

Sorry for your loss!