I am learning empathy for the homeless
 

I don't even know how to start. Right now, it looks like my wife and I may be homeless next month. I was laid off from my job after 9 and a half years because the company decided to change the structure of their gold standard support team. That was a wonderful Monday morning last October. At least the one other time I was laid off it was because they moved their support team to India. That was at least kind of understandable. They also gave me a month's severance pay for each year I had worked for them (6 years). This time I got 2 months of severance for my 9.5 years of service. Given my previous experience, that felt like an additional slap to the face.

In an attempt to keep our house, we have left it and leased it out to 2 of my children, a nephew, and a close friend of one of my sons. This is not a good time to try to sell and we were to the point where we weren't sure we could pay the mortgage. They are covering the mortgage plus about $1000. So technically we have some income and even own a house. That "income" is great, but it doesn't go very far and is far from covering the rent on the apartment we have rented. And without an income we can't even tap into the ~$250,000 of equity (monetary term, not social bullshit!). I suppose we could put it on the market but that would screw over the young people there now and I don't want to pass my trouble to the next generation.

I have worked in tech support for the entirety of this century and that is only 4 jobs. I have never been a job hopper obviously. Since I was laid off last October, I have sent out hundreds of resumes. In that time, I have gotten less than 20 initial interviews and maybe 6 actual interviews. I even made it through the entire process a couple of times but obviously nothing has panned out. I will be 64 in a couple of weeks, and I have to wonder if part of the issue has been a form of ageism. At this point in my life, I am not excited to grow in a career. I just want to do awesome work, go home, and retire in a few years. Corporate America wants people who are looking to advance and better themselves. Of course, in a year or two that new hire will move on to the next opportunity while I would still be there consistent as always (as seen by 4 jobs in over 20 years).

So we made the fateful decision to follow our dream. We had plans to move back "home" to Oregon this past spring. Losing my job put the kibosh on that. Well, in our attempt to keep the house until the Fed lowers interest rates and the housing market to heat back up a little, we have moved to Oregon. I have been working remote since before the pandemic so I should be able to work from anywhere. Of course, after the last 10 months finances are thin to be kind, so it was a bit of a leap of faith. We are here now on the Oregon coast, my wife has a part time job that she loves but doesn't pay much, and I am trying to find ANYTHING at this point. I thought I was going to get a retail job making a whopping $16.75 an hour (I was making $84k a year before the layoff) but got screwed up regarding the drug test and lost that opportunity. Sorry, I do not follow blind links in a text. They could have at least put a note in the text about what the link was for. Well, that was the order for me to go piss in a cup and it expired in 48 hours. I was under the impression that I was going to get an email and was waiting for them to finish a background check. This is considered the same as a failure, so I am out with no recourse. I do feel bad for the manager as she was desperate for someone and will likely have to cancel her vacation in a few weeks.

I know a lot of this is just rambling, but it is how messed up my head is right now. I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time. It is 3 AM as I type this. I have never had an issue with getting a job in my life and have never been out of work for more than a few weeks. Right now, not only do I not see a light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't even a sign of a train. It is just black, and I am stumbling along with no idea where I may be heading. This does lead me to saying thank you to Detox. I noted his signature line a couple days ago and sent him a rep because it buoyed me up. He responded with a wonderfully supportive note which, given my current emotional and mental state, made me cry. That was also the day before I learned that I had screwed up the potential job I had on the line.

So, as the thread title states, I better understand how some of the homeless came to be that way through no fault of their own. I can tell you, the depression and desperation that I am going through does just functioning on a daily basis very hard.

Sorry to dump on everyone's day. I had to try to get some of this crap out of my head. No replies necessary, I just thank Kyle for creating this wonderful community where I can vent. Now I am going to go cry again and maybe, hopefully, get some more sleep.

How big is the plot of land your house is on? Might not be the worst idea to try and find a nice used Travel Trailer to put on it and live out of to save you rent for the time being. Shouldn't be too much of a hassle relatively to run a 30 amp line to get some electricity.

Damn, it’s honestly pretty scary how close many of us are to being in the same situation. A couple of bad breaks at the wrong time can easily screw up everything you’ve worked your whole life for. I know you don’t want to, but is there any way you can stay at a room in the house you are leasing to your family? Or do something like Sassy Squatch said and maybe put a little camper in the back yard.

Well, sleep isn't happening so here is the anger that goes with the depression:

God damn mother ****er!

I have never taken unemployment in my life and I got all of $500 a week for 6 months and nothing more. Whee, that helped slow the bleeding for a short while. Of course, when I was laid off HR told me that they didn't care if I applied for unemployment right away. So, silly me, I did so. Well, the state went, oh you are still getting paid by your previous employer to you can reapply 2 months after that ends. Assholes all around.

And **** corporate America. Corporations are persons, my ass! At least with a person there is a chance for a little empathy. Oh no, it is all about the bottom line. The rich assholes don't give a shit as long as their investment grows. If that means that some people get screwed and left with nothing, it doesn't matter. We will just give them a pittance at best so we can virtue signal what nice, caring people we are. **** THAT!

And don't even get me started on the little bullshit like, smoking is evil. The entire apartment complex we moved into is no smoking. So, go stand out on the street corner so everyone can point and laugh (not literally of course). But hey, there is a park down the street but no smoking is allowed there either! Why don't you just get over with and make cigarettes illegal!

Along those lines, Oregon has legal pot. But I can't smoke on the apartment property and smoking pot in public is not legal. So, I can buy without worry but have nowhere I can actually partake! What the **** is up with that? Heaven forbid you are a tourist who would like to take advantage of the opportunity. So, what are they supposed to do, take it home with them? But taking it across state lines is a federal offence. How ****ed up can you get?

Did you know that every time you apply for a job online you have to set up an account. I have created hundreds of accounts during my searching. But stay safe online. Don't let yourself be exposed to inconvenient things like data breaches. Well, my ****ing data is all over the place just because I want a ****ing job. Sons of bitches! I have always been aware of the dangers and keep a pretty low profile online as a result. That is all shot to hell now and nothing to show for it either!

Wow, I thought this might help but it is not possible to rage properly in this format. I am a very non violent person but I want to hit something so badly. Over and over again!

I tried to put NSFW tags on this but have now learned that is for images only, not text. My apologies for language.

It's a third of an acre, so there is certainly room. A couple of problems though: no resources to get a trailer and I don't know that the city would give me a permit which I know would be required. Just because it is my property doesn't mean that the powers that be will let me do what I want on it. At least I don't have an HOA to deal with. That was a requirement for me when I bought the place.

I have been thinking about that too. Hell, we could sleep on the couch and will if it comes to that. The issue is the lease that I signed thinking I had a job coming. The only option that would leave would be bankruptcy. My credit has already taken a big hit during all of this. A bankruptcy would be the nail ending the rest of our dream as we would have a tough time at best to get another mortgage down the line.

Very good recommendation. :clap:

Sent ya a DM

You have a big enough garage to fit one? Probably be better anyway for the winter.

Yeah, that lease situation ****ing sucks. How long do you have on it.

Very sorry for your predicament Hydrae.

Not that it helps, but the 1st thing you should do is quit smoking. Think of the money being burned there.

Check your rep, Hydrae.

Same

First of all....my thoughts are with you as your family goes through this struggle. There is no easy answer to how to fix this, especially in the economic times we are in.

I do want to say.....I think there is some ageism involved, and anyone who thinks not hasn't been thru hiring someone with your "Talent Acquisition" team lately. Yes, they want people who have the "ability" to grow professionally over the next 5 years, but then they will admit that in 5 years that person will probably not be at the company anymore. Gone are the days of looking at the work history of a candidate and seeing a long term opportunity and possible loyal and consistent associate.

I don't think I can add to any better answers than have already been presented. Have you looked at taking early retirement and drawing a lesser dollar on your Social Security to ensure a steady income stream no matter how small it may be?

I have a lot of questions and if these questions come off as condescending, I apologize in advance.

1. Why did you move to one of the most expensive states in America before you had employment?

2. Does the lease agreement you signed allow you to sublease to someone so you can get out of there and move somewhere cheaper?

3. Does your wife have the ability to get a full-time job or is that conversation a non-starter?

4. I assume at your age and with you planning to retire at 67 that you have some investments built up. Any possibility that any of those are liquid enough to cash in without a major penalty to get you by unitl you find employment?

I'm really sorry you are going through all of this and I'm sure it seems like the whole world is against you right now. It sounds like you have family that cares about you. Don't be afraid to swallow your pride a little and ask for help.

Good luck. I wish you all the best.

Really sorry to hear it, Hydrae. No easy answers. I hate that it's gotten so expensive to even rent a "cheap" apartment. Praying that you and your wife are able to find some situation that is workable.

Sorry to hear about your situation. You are nearing retirement age. In the tech world, thats career ending.

I'm retired now but the last 5 years or so it was tougher to find the right position. Most jobs i got were for an old grizzled veteran who could apply that experience in a challenging environment.

I've helped many people on here with their resumes. If you would like me to take a look at your resume and recommend some tweaks, I'd be happy to assist.

Also check with socuial security about how much you would receive if you decided to retire. Do some math. Many techs I know that are around your age couldn't find work. They sold their house. Took the equity money and bought a smaller house. And took social security.

Hang in there. Just think every day that something positive is just around the corner. Anything I can do to help, just hollar.

That text thing is BS. It seems that corporate America nowadays only wants to do everything online. My son has had similar issues with this kind of thing. It's stupid. Why not just call? Sounds like it would have saved the manager a lot of trouble.

Understandable to be mad and want to cuss. People have the option to censor cusswords in their user CP.

Your situation sucks. Just keep plugging and something will be there, eventually. In the meantime, perhaps do odd jobs, Door Dash, whatever it takes to get by.

Potentially subleasing is a good idea, I think a lot of landlords will work towards a resolution for the sake of cash flow, etc.... doesn't hurt to ask, and they may even let you out of it.

My guess is the more transparent you are with them and the sooner you chat with them, the more they'll work with you...every once in a while other people will surprise you.

Taking from a 401k would suck, but yeah it's a last resort that could help, too.

I hope they die.

I had a dentist office send dumb links via text... didn't look remotely legit and all of them saying I had a balance due when I didn't think that was the case.

I tell people all the time to not click on anything, but then you'd receive something like that and assume it's a scam.... and just pick up the damn phone to confirm someone got the text if they haven't heard back, or warn them ahead of time.

Do you Americans not have pensions?

They used to be common, but over the last 40-50 years they have nearly become a thing of the past.

Depends on the job. Most do not anymore.

When I started working for my current employer, yes we did. Also what they called a medical bucket. Profit sharing in stocks too. I've been here 26 years.

Soon after, we were bought out. That's when they abolished all of it away. Anybody after would have to rely on 401k or other personal investments.

Side note, I'm grandfather'd in on those original perks.

Crazy. Here there's a requirement for employers to offer a workplace pension scheme and they have to contribute at least 3 percent of your salary if the employee contributes. If you're a professional you can expect anywhere from a 5% to 12% employer contribution. Also the government guarantees 90% of your total pension amount if you're in receipt of a defined benefit pension and the pension scheme goes tits up. Although there aren't many defined benefit pension schemes offered anymore. British communism has its benefits.

I believe at age 64 he can draw from 401k or any retirement account without any penalties.

Would definitely be an option I would consider.

Something like 40% of Americans would struggle to cover a $400 emergency expense w/o borrowing money or selling something. Many have little savings to survive job loss. The reality is many of us can be where you are in a short period of time. I am not in a position to help but you have my empathy & prayer for a new job opportunity soon OP.

Most employers will contribute or match your 401K money. So say you are sitting aside 3%, they would match that for a 6% contribution to a 401K every payday.

Correct. 3% here.

Sent you a PM but it does not show up as sent. Not sure why.
If you don't get it send me a PM I can respond to.

My 26 year old Son is getting up to 6% matched and he puts in another 6% beyond that.

Gotten to the point pensions are vastly inferior to 401ks unless you've got some very specific circumstances.

When I first started out of college (35 years ago) - Pensions and 401K's were both quite robust. Having both was pretty awesome, but fleeting for me. Once I left my first gig (after 10 years), I never saw another pension plan.

That's good. Tell him to keep it up. My 401k management organization lets set it so every year it will go up x%. Suggest that to your son. If it hurts financially he can set it back down, but generally you shouldn't miss it in your take home pay.

Every little bit helps

Just sucks it's relatively easy for companies to shirk their responsibility and leave the employee completely ****ed. Sometimes they don't even gat back what they've put in.

Most companies of 50 or more employees offer a defined contribution plan which many have an employer match like you are stating. Also, those that do still offer a defined benefit traditional pension, it is fully guaranteed by the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation which is federally chartered. So very similar to your structure.

What?

Shitty situation to be in for sure. Sounds to me like the bottom line is you certainly won't have to be homeless it's just that you may have to make some decisions you don't want to make.
Best of luck to you.

Its tough out there. My GF was laid off and has been looking for jobs for 5 momths maybe 6 now and has gotten...ONE interview. ONE stinking interview.

Is your girl good enough to earn a living off onlyfans? DM me a picture and I'll offer my considerable wealth of knowledge.

Everything I read/hear says the economy is fine and there are plenty of jobs. I am thinking showing some cleavage is key.

Kind of similar, although I take it that they're not legally obliged to offer a pension scheme and rather its a case of if they didn't then it would be harder to recruit/ retain staff.

Need pics to confirm

Correct, most companies of that size have to offer a DC plan to compete for labor.

Hey, let's get back to focusing on Hydrae. We don't want to f up his thread by DC'ing it with politics.

Agreed. Going to scrub my contributions to getting off topic

The big problem now is that companies make the interview process as coldly distant as possible.

The resume review software many companies use to filter thru candidates really doesn't do it's job correctly. The last 3 years I worked with the Talent Acquisition team to look for candidates I would make them send me the resumes of what they had as "second tier" matches....I found that most of the people I was hiring came from that group.

Damn, that's tough, Hydrae. Feels like that's the inevitable fate for a lot of us.

I have a few suggestions if you'd like to hear it. I know sometimes in these situations people just want love and sympathy, not necessarily advice. A lot of times we know what to do, we just need the emotional support to get it done. It can be hard to get things done when you're so stressed out and down. It can be difficult to get out of your own way when everything just feels like it will never go right.

Life is a bitch, man. And the older i get the more i realize that it never lets up. It's constant. If it's not one thing it's another. And to work for as long as you have only to end up in this situation anyway...god i can only imagine the frustration, the depression, the anxiety....the anger....

Sorry to hear this man.

Like others have said....Social Security could be your answer. OR if you still have money in a retirement account like a 401k/403b/IRA/Roth IRA your old enough to start drawing on those. Age is 59.5 to avoid an extra 10% tax penalty to uncle Sam.

You said your wife really enjoys her part time job? Anyway you could get a job at the same place with her?

Resume is great and all but who do you know? Working for so long you must have build some friendships along the way. It's time, sit down and call them all up! It's who you know and one of those people could now be a manager somewhere.....OR know of one looking for someone.

The trailer in the yard is an idea but if it was me I'd travel from a couple different State/County RV parks and volunteer. Most allow volunteers to hook up and stay for free. You would do things like sit at the check in center or after a person leave that site go make sure its ready for the next person.

With your experience you could always try substitute teacher at a school/community college.

I would really apply for SS like yesterday. You can still make a small income while drawing SS benefits and not screw anything up.

Yeah, you'd probably be best off drawing your Social Security early while making every attempt possible to get out from under your current lease.

If it's any consolation, you aren't in a position to be destitute and penniless. Currently in a position where you own a house and are renting it for more than your mortgage.

If you've already accepted you may not find a job in your field and are looking elsewhere, drawing SS and working part time makes even more sense.

I'm sorry to hear your troubles, hydrae. You're one of the good guys. Best of luck to you in getting through to the other side.

Loyalty used to be rewarded, now it is hated. I will pray for you buddy. I give a homeless lady that lives near me food and a little money once in a while. She had a good tech job as well, then her husband died and it all fell apart. She lives in her car now and has no hope, we have a serious problem in this country with this kind of thing.

Appreciate you sharing a difficult subject. Good luck to you.

The last few years have just been devastating to so many people, you see it all the time. Sorry to hear about your situation.
Wow, Newport Oregon. How long have you been there? Interesting place for an IT guy. We used to do a lot of our family reunions there for years.
Being in IT why don't you just open an LLC and market yourself? Way back I realized I was making way too much money for other people. My old IT guy moved to Spain and was always independent. When I checked on him 6 months later he had more business than he could get to. I'll tell you one thing, I will never work for anyone again for a lot of reasons.

When you reward the invasion of your home learn to reap what you sow.

I have one, but it’s only because I’ve been with the same company for 30 years. But it’s not nearly as good as my 401K, and you only get a few percent each year. It would be nice if they would just let you invest it yourself. Anyone hired at my employer in the last 15 years either has a significant reduction in pension or none at all. Big corporations don’t want employees to stay around for more than a few years anymore.

Otter can't help himself.

Why

Thank you to everyone who has responded. I appreciate the thoughts and advice. I am not surprised at the temporary turn the thread took. This is CP after all!

In answer to some of the questions:

1. The 401k is dead at this point. That resource has sadly been used up.

2. I have always thought I would work until I was 70 to maximize my Social Security benefits. I did give in to reality a couple days ago and applied. If nothing else, the benefit is weighted to the last 5 years of employment and it appears likely that I will be earning significantly less the next few years. So yes, I am legally retired I suppose.

3. Why Oregon and now? I have worked remote tech support for several years and if I were to get a similar position my location would not really matter. If I need to have an onsite job, I would prefer it to be in our dream location where we were planning to be anyway. We are both from here and this is a returning home finally. Yes, I jumped off a cliff and the fall has been scary. Now it looks like the ground is coming fast and it scares the piss out of me.

On a more positive note, it looks like I will have an interview at Fred Meyer (think regional Walmart) this afternoon. I will ensure there are no communication failures this time even if it means I have to go to the store every hour.

My kids invaded my home? More like I did them a favor and would do anything for my children. Not just mine either. Over the years we have welcomed a number of young people into our home. Usually, case where they were kicked out at 18 by their parents with nowhere to go. There are many young adults in our town that call my wife Mom. And yes, they would be happy to help but they have their own lives and families and struggles.

If you've already applied for Social Security may not want to go too crazy on the hours so you don't offset.

For 2024 you should be good. $22,320 and up is where you start offsetting your Social Security benefits.

I'm guessing your children did not invade your home because the were invited and followed protocol. See the difference?

For every 2 dollars above your benefit amount, they will reduce the benefit by $1. So you are only getting .50 for those dollars. But when you reach full retirement age (67 for me), they will increase your benefit to some extent which offsets of those reduction going forward. Learning that did make the decision a little easier.

Yep.

Again, why? Why come into a thread where a fellow poster is pretty clearly hurting and needs some encouragement and instead throwing kicks while he's down? Just completely unnecessary.

Let me introduce you to otter.

I originally thought I would work until I was 70 to maximize my SS benefits, but a heart attack and a talk with my financial advisor showed me that waiting wouldn't really give me the benefit I thought. Now, I retired at age 68, but I have been drawing my Social Security since I reached what is the Full Retirement Age.....66 years and 3 months....and the difference in the amount I drew at that time and what I would draw at age 70 was minimal in comparison.

The good part....it is steady income.

Pretty sure that's only on money you earn above $22,320.

Correct. For every $2 you earn above that 22,320 line, your benefit is offset by $1.

Let me introduce you to parasites dummpy. I'll let you guys alone because it sounds like your in likewise company.

Don't do meth, kids.

I don't think he's insulting the poster, but the state of the job environment in this country due to some decisions involving "outsiders "

LMAO That's supposed to be better? Coming in and bleating about how "dey tuk er JERBS!!!"?

Hydrae, I hope things work out for you. I don't have any solutions or remedies to suggest - I'm sure you've scoped out your viable avenues. I do bring you all the good juju that a fellow oldster can bring. I would be completely out of my element looking for a job at this stage of life. Wishing for the best possible outcome.

I’m sorry to hear about your 401k. I can’t imagine blowing through my entire nest egg in 10 month, but I understand everyone’s situation is differen.

He was making obvious veiled political statements and has been booted from the thread.

So a man comes onto a forum where he has been a member for 23 years to unload some of his worries into the ether and your first thought is...

"I'mma shit on this guy because he is, clearly, not having a rough enough time. I'm not gonna offer any empathy, advice, or even just moral support. I'm gonna take this opportunity to shit on him and take a political stand in the Lounge."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

---

Dunno man... this feels like one of those times we are called upon to "build up". If you are incapable of that... may I suggest that it is then, instead, a time to keep silence.

I share these sentiments Hydrae. I hope the gig at Fred Meyer leads to something more stable as you ride out your final years in the workforce.

Depending on what he's doing, may find that stable job at Fred Meyer. Seems like it's under Kroger and that's rated as a relatively decent place to work in retail.