Worst First day on the job ever?
 

I'd like to know more about the ankle monitor before I comment........ :)

https://www.yahoo.com/news/colorado-...202251481.html

A Colorado man lost both his legs after a freak accident with a wood chipper during the first day of his new job.

John O’Neill, 33, had been chucking tree branches into a machine in Longmont when a branch shaped like a fish hook got caught on his court-ordered ankle monitor and dragged him inside. The blades cut his toes, foot, ankle and legs. He was 15 minutes into his shift around 10:18 a.m. on September 24.

“Something happened in my brain to where I realized I was in fear for a lot more than just losing my leg or my foot,” O’Neill told The Denver Post.

He then grabbed the edge of the wood chipper trying to hold on. His coworkers didn’t immediately hear his cries for help because of their protective ear gear.

“It took a minute before my coworkers realized what was happening,” O’Neill told the outlet. “The pain was very — it was not there almost...I didn’t really feel the pain as much as I knew I was in trouble. It went from a fight for my limb to a fight for my life, very fast.”

When his coworkers managed to pull him out, the blade had reached his mid-thigh area. Police arrived at the job site and took him to a local hospital. He was then he was flown to St. Anthony Hospital in Lakewood, Colorado.

On his way to the hospital, he “technically died,” the outlet reported.

“My heart stopped. …They essentially replaced all the blood in my body,” said O’Neill.

His legs were later amputated above the knee. O’Neill only realized what happened when he woke up in his hospital bed the day after the incident.

His family has rushed to be by his side. When his mother found out about what happened, she was so panic-stricken doctors admitted her to the hospital for three days.

O’Neill declined to name his employer or say whether he planned to take legal action against the company. He plans to get prosthetics and commits more time to volunteering. He’s hoping his new platform will give him a chance to advocate for issues he cares about, including sobriety from drug and alcohol addiction.

A GoFundMe page set up to help O’Neill with his future goals has reached over $27,000 out of a $30,000 goal.

I'm stumped as to how this could happen

I don't imagine that's the kind of limb shredding he was hired to do.

Broncos new kicker?

Judge: you owe us $4500 for the ankle monitor, and 6 months in jail for tampering with government property.

and then the guy plops down a half-attached foot with said ankle monitor ("here you go!")

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I see your worst first day and raise you Mrballen...

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I heard his dad did the same thing.

Chip off the old block!

Another Broncos fan defeeted

Worst day ever /Phillip Rivers

"Everything is wood to a sawblade"

New nickname?

I bet if he tries to get worker’s comp, he won’t have a leg to stand on.

This story seemed to be cut short with no updated details...

Don’t hire people with ankle monitors.

Fargo Colorado

Sick fuggers, why I came back tho....

Wood not apply.

I've worked on a tree crew and tossed countless thousands of pounds of limbs and logs into wood chippers, and even with the chippers that have a stop/reverse bar on the outside of them... you damn well better mind your P's and Q's

I definitely do NOT miss that job

Let's trace back the timeline of this story.

10. Dude loses both of his legs by getting stuck in wood chipper.
9. Dude's ankle monitor gets caught in tree branch
8. Dude pleads guilty to breaking and entering, gets home arrest sentence.
7. Dude sees a guy driving home from the Apple Store with a new computer that can be fenced, doesn't notice that the guy has an alarm system in his house.
6. Dude is out of money because he spent it all on heroin and whiskey.
5. Dude discovers that he really likes heroin and whiskey.
4. Dude decides to drink some whiskey.
3. Dude's friend Ryan mentions that his dad forgot to lock up the whiskey the night before.
2. Dude goes to his friend Ryan's house to play the new Call of Duty game.
1. New Call of Duty game comes out.

I think this tragedy can be traced back to violence in video games.

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If he likes swimming, Bob

Those ankle monitors cost an arm and a leg.

Bet he’d like to walk that back.

Nah, he played video games just for kicks.

It’s like you couldn’t stick with the job.

When I was 16 I worked at Cub Foods and first day they made you clean the grease trap to make sure you were cut out for it. Still to this day one of the sickest smells Ive ever witnessed.

I hope he doesnt arbor any ill will towards the company

ZING!

I hope he has a leg to stand on in a potential lawsuit against his employer.

You people don't have a shred of decency. Guy is just trying to grind out a hard day at work and i'm stumped as to why you think this is funny.

Does this Colorado man live near you Rain Man?

A few parts may have landed near me.

Sue EVERYONE! The new company, the manufacturer or the wood-chipper, and the state for the ankle bracelet impeding work. EVERYONE!!!!

...he's got nothing to lose.

Most treadmills have better safety features. WTF?

https://cdn-shopify-com.cdn.ampproje...nitor_750x.jpg

Would make it hard to false start on the o line.. can he play right tackle?

ROFLROFLROFL

I dont think I would go back

The competition now has a few legs up on new business

Guy is dumb as a stump

He was such a chipper fellow before the accident.

This thread is legendary and Hall of Classics worthy just after 1 page of posts.

I'm laughing my balls off with the rest of you sick bastards!

All going to hell on the same bus. ROFL

A misunderstanding?:shrug:


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You Cincy fans are stumped as to why this is funny.

Just chili out.

Bunch of insensitive, sawed-off jerks in here...

https://c.tenor.com/_C4TEcyi1KgAAAAC/tenor.gif

Is that a plate of Skyline chili or did a man fall into a woodchipper?

'I don't care if he got no feet." - Ty Cobb

we are not a very sensitive lot in here. Sensitive posters dont last long here. we can be a tough handle for most. I blame it on Skip.

Wood

Leaf his fandom out of this.




(stretching LMAO)

A lot of people are defeated on the first day. That’s why so many places have a 90 day probationary period.

They can’t all be winners.

On the upside, this reduces his risk of flight and he might get lower bail options next time he’s in the clink…in addition to all the money will will save on shoes.

The public is really chipping away to that 30,000 goal.

He got to be feeling really chipper about that!

The goodness of that community must have caught him by surprise and reeled him right in.

His boss said on his first day on the job he put his feet to the grindstone. It was nearly assholes to elbows.

way to jump in with both feet first on the new job :D

I'm sure somewhere, sometime, somebody out there died on their first day of the job. That's about the only way for it to be worse.

You'll never top your first post in this thread. That was the mic drop moment. :evil:

So you missed the dark humor in that post as well?

In a lucky break, these people found a foot. Maybe they can match it up. If one was unfortunate enough to lose a foot, it would be cool to replace it with an antique foot that almost made it up Mt. Everest.

https://www.cnn.com/2024/10/11/scien...cli/index.html - Human foot found on Everest may hold key to one of mountaineering’s greatest mysteries

Chipper Jones

That sucks and all, but at least he's no longer a slave to the grind.

If you are familiar with how awkward and goofy Michael Scott was in the Dunder Mifflin warehouse, you may notice some similarities with schmo and his presence on this bulletin board. Doesn’t really fit in but is desperate to, brags on things that others find cringey or pathetic, clumsy attempts to make fun of perceived outsiders to raise standing with the townies, generally not funny or interesting, etc.

maybe he will have to go half time now

He may need to leaf that job, branch out and embark on on a new career path. With his chipper attitude, I'm sure any employer would love for him to plant roots in their company.