Your "philosophy of life" statements
 

Anyone beyond the age of 25 probably has a few, and if you really believe, you should probably want to share them with your fellow man. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I think we should all be thankful for the pearls of wisdom that are sure to follow.

I'll go first.

Even if you immediately know it's impossible, tell the person requesting it that you'll think about it and get back to them.

"What the **** is wrong with you?" is not generally an acceptable response to anything, ever.

If you weren't meant to eat it, you'll throw it up later.

My dad has always said "You don't know what you don't know".

Seems apt in alot of situations.

Do what you want to do whenever you want to do it.

There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

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Dont be an asshole.

Leave well enough alone--my dad always said that.

Admitting your problem is the first step to recovery.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people that ask questions (Nextdoor)

Life sucks, then you die.

---Remember, I am a teacher.

"Live it, or Live with it."

The Kansas City Chiefs are my favorite professional football team.

Assume a few things...
- It's not all about you, so squash the immediate need to be defensive
- People are minimally intelligent and don't need to be stated the obvious
- People generally have good intentions and lack the ability/desire to be confrontational, so they probably aren't doing so (see point 1)

...if any of these become untrue, they will make it abundantly clear to you, but in the meantime those few things will erase a ton of bullshit drama and needless conversation.

Born to lose, live to win. /Lemmy

“Too much **** that, and not enough **** this.” - Couch-Potato

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't...you're most likely right.

You may have to deal with an asshole for 5 minutes, they have to live with themselves 24/7.

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**** around and you'll find out.

Eat less cheese as you get older.

I always told my kids you don’t **** with others Fs…

Funds
Food
Family

people show you who they are, it’s up to you to believe them

Lord loves a workin man. Don't trust whitey. And if you get it, go to the doctor and get rid of it

There are no solutions. There are only trade-offs.

https://y.yarn.co/eed08f4f-d1c9-4cc0...bf0a5_text.gif

<blockquote class="imgur-embed-pub" lang="en" data-id="WwE3LeV" ><a href="//imgur.com/WwE3LeV">Dwight Knows</a></blockquote><script async src="//s.imgur.com/min/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Life is a shit sandwich. Some days you get more bread, some days you don't.

Advice from my great granddad passed on down through my old man: Always walk away from a fight if you can.

However, if you can't walk away, the first punch usually tells the story.

My father used to say, how you do anything is how you do everything

Call it the first and last rule of life

Don't waste your time worrying about what other people who have no bearing on your life think about you or your choices.

Not wrong in my experience.

Students always reach for the lowest bar. We need to keep raising the bar.

Help people get where they want to go and they will help you get where you want to go.

My dad used to always just say "want in one hand and shit in the other. See which one fills up first."

This meant so much to me as a kid watching MTV LMAO

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I will do today what others won't so I can do tomorrow what others can't.
Working hard without thinking only makes you tired and broke.
If it is to be, its up to me.

I hope education hasn't fallen to that depth. I always strove to read the most books in first and second grade. I always wanted to win the math races in front of the classroom. I always wanted to finish at the top of any art or music competition. I wanted the high score on the California Achievement Test. I wanted the best score on the ACT. That's the only thing I knew as a student.

Just don't ace the ASVABs. They will never stop calling.

I heard that a lot growing up. lol

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My manual dexterity was total shit, so I failed at a lot of things related to that.

Good lord. Correct and understated.

When a parent or loved one dies, nobody ever says "I wish I had had more political arguments with him/her." Nor do they say "I wish hadn't told them I loved them so often."

1. Don't send an email, text or response in anger. Rarely the correct answer and usually works against you.
2. Save money and invest, save money and invest, save money and invest. Your retirement will be here before you know it and it won't be good without money.
3. Moderation is usually a good decision.
4. Don't stay in a job you hate.
5. Don't marry for companionship or fear of being alone.
6. Be a parent, not your kids "best friends." They have kids their own age for that.
7. Stop and smell the flowers along the way. If you keep waiting for the perfect opportunity to do something, it may never arrive.
8. Don't let the perfect stop you from the good.
9. Learn from your mistakes or you will prove you are an idiot over and over. We ALL makes mistakes, just don't repeat them or worse yet, make a fatal one you can't overcome.
10. Take care of you and your health FIRST. It gets exponentially harder every decade that passes and then every few years in your 60s and beyond.
11. You can't take it all with you. The coffin is only so big. Stop collecting shit you don't really need.
12. Be nice to everyone; the mailman, the garbage collector, hotel maids, your plumber, the landscaper. It really works well.
13. Give some of your time or money to help someone. Great feeling and people really do appreciate it.
14. Take your time and do things right the first time. Haste does make waste.
15. Never settle. Do what makes you happy as you got just one life to live.
16. Don't hold grudges or be bitter. Just a big waste of time, energy and mental stress.
17. Do something special for yourself from tome to time. A day at a spa, mini road trip, an extravagant purchase.
18. Cars, boats and RVs are money pits
Don't waste too much or any money on them.
19. Debt is bad. Less of it is better
20. Travel the World. It opens you up to new cultures, people and ideas. It absolutely reduces prejudices in nearly all cases.

BONUS: Never, ever doubt Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs.

My dad always said when I was or on the verge of ****ing up, "What goes around, comes around". Which is loosely translated today to "**** around and find out".

Don't beat up little kids unless their dad is smaller than you.

Play with my dick, not my mind.

ROFL

Thats not the strippers real name.

Bruises fade, broken bones mend, but madness is everlasting.

"It takes all kinds"

"Better out than in"

1/ Life is all about experiences.

2/ If it's worth being done, it's worth being done right.

3/ Often times the worst thing that happens is they say "no."

I have met you and I respect you. Don't be BWillie on this one.

(I am not implying that this is a serious conversation, because it clearly is not. But you're better than this after your journeys through the advertising world. Be that wisdom guy and share real shit you've learned along with the funnies.)

Don't ever meet up with a chick who just has a face pic online. Well you can but just make sure you take her to a buffet.

Unless belly buttons...

1) Nobody gives a shit about you except you. Conduct your business accordingly.

I just warned my oldest niece about this when she told me they were taking it at school.

"You're going to want to screw a few of those questions up on purpose."

Life is short, live it to the fullest. Slide into your grave in a cloud of dust, screaming "WHAT A RIDE"!

Feed your good habits with good habit things.

Don't go buying an expensive treadmill thinking that will be your motivation forever. Start going on walks and set achievable progressive goals, and once you build the habit, treat yo self with a good pair of running shoes, that treadmill, etc.

Changes her status to single: Great here come the life philosophy posts

Be happy and don't hurt anybody.

What the **** is wrong with you?

Shit. I just violated one of the 3 things I posted,

My dad said that too I wish I had realized it was just a metaphor

Try everything once. Take options on seconds.

PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET

"There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self." - Aldous Huxley

That is my core philosophy of life.

She's going to really change this time around, amirite?

"I'll never settle for anything ever again!"

2 days later makes green bean casserole with canned green beans

:bolt:

Happiness occurs when reality meets perception.

Most important advice I can give anyone is from recent personal experience : if you find the job that makes you happy, and it pays "enough", don't seek out something bigger just because it (pays more or is more prestigious).

If someone tells you that it’s too small, they are just blaming you for their gaping gash.

This is CP that doesn’t apply to anyone here

So hooking is right for you?

Also: Work hard now so you don't have to work even harder later.

Think there was an old fairy tale about crickets and frogs about that

The Romper Room did this thread better recently IMO.

with all 5 people that frequent that forum

If you are trying to get someone to have fun instead instead of be responsible.

Ask them to think about how long they will be alive.

Ask them to think about how long they will dead.

Ask them what they really want to do.

Takes longer, but generally more effective than YOLO.

I heard a similar story about ants and a lazy frog.

the bar is pretty low

My 2.5 key things are:

1. Always make the decision that is best for the long term, as long as the short term doesn't kill you.

2. Related, make decisions that will optimize your happiness for 24 hours a day, not just 8 hours per day. (Related mostly to jobs, but also other things.)

3. Choose friends who have their act together better than you do, or at least as well as you do.*



* - Does not apply to Chiefsplanet, obviously.

no

I thought it was ants and grasshoppers.

Never ever stick your dick in crazy!


Took me a long time to learn that.