Worst you've ever been chewed out by a coach.
 

Those of us who have played for coaches have likely, at some point in our lives, endured the miserable experience of having a coach melt down on you for a real (or imagined) grievance.

I was playing sweeper for my high school soccer team and swooped through an attacking play by slicing away with the ball. In doing so, however, a couple bodies fell as there as a conglomeration of players descending on the spot from which I had swooped. This was in the penalty box, and any penalty called on us in the box results in a penalty kick, which is not awesome in soccer.

I get subbed out in a minute and the coach tells me, as I walk to the bench, that I made a mistake that led to me having to swoop and potentially cost us a PK. Exhausted and not thinking straight, I said "I didn't touch anyone" with my arms out, as if to say "WTF are you talking about."

This apparently was a gross offense, as the coach slowly rose from his seat and dressed me down. This was in Joplin, who had a rinky dink soccer field, and everybody in a 10 mile radius could hear the guy dressing me down. All I could say was "yes sir" 18 times to stay in his good graces. I was subbed back in 5-10 minutes later.

That's probably the worst I got. Surely some of you guys can beat me. Let's go.

I got yelled at multiple times for not being physical enough in the post. I was a center in high school basketball. I was tall for my age but I was skinny and my skillset was more suited to play the 3 or a stretch 4.

Had a yoga instructor get pissed that I dicked her down better than her boyfriend

In high school, I was a freshman on the wrestling team. The coach had a No Parties Policy.

A senior was caught at a party.

We had to go to the gym on a Sunday for a special practice. First, Seniors, Juniors, and Sophomores did burpees while the Freshman did a bear crawl across the gym and back, and then each class would go, so by the time the Seniors went, they had been doing burpees for a long time.

However, when the underclassmen were bear crawling, the coach would call them out and make them start over if someone didn't do it correctly.

That was just the warm ups. It got worse.

At the end of practice, the coaches suggested that the team should have a wrestlers only meeting in the locker room.

I can tell you that the aftermath of that meeting is not a single Junior, Sophomore, or Freshman went to a party for the next 3 years.

Coaches from st joe worked from 4 am to 4 pm at factories and when they got off they drank and were primed to whoop that ass at missing the cutoff man

My baseball coach yelled at me during a game and called me a "walking pile of pig shit" and that was when my folks drove up to watch me play.

Son of a coach, so yeah

Had our football coaches in 7th grade pull us in a circle, chew our collective asses over something insignificant and then storm off and leave practice leaving us alone for 2 hrs because nobody had a cellphone on them in 1997.

That was a weird one.

I got called every name in the book during one of my high school football games right in front of the players’ parents section.

I was the TE and our WR didn’t check his alignment with the ref. He was on the line. We both ran routes on that pass play. I got called for ineligible downfield on a critical third down that we converted. Then, didn’t convert on the second try and had to punt.

Our dumbass coach was red faced losing his shit on me. I tried to explain it wasn’t my fault but he just kept going. The parents, who obviously understood what happened, looked confused. A few even yelled at him to stop.

By the end, I was trying not to laugh.

I don't get chewed out by coaches. I chew out coaches.

I had great coaches in High School. I watched other players get yelled at for stupid shit and realized quickly it was easy not to get yelled at if you did what you were supposed to.

I guess really the only story I have was my senior year playing baseball. We had a coach that was a pitcher in high school and decided he was going to throw live BP to us one day. He was so confident that nobody could hit him that he wasn't going to use a net or anything.

Granted this was my first year playing baseball, and I weighed about 120 pounds soaking wet. We had a team loaded with talent, and I worked my ass off to just make the varsity squad. He probably thought he was going to embarrass me.

I stood in the box and this guy threw 3 pitches that were about helmet high, which I didn't swing at. He made some kind of comment about how he was going to stop throwing if I wasn't swinging. The next pitch was dead center and I hit a screaming line drive right up the middle and hit him square in the thigh.

He was done pitching after that. Another coach drug out a net and threw BP to everyone else.

I had a very heated wrestling match in HS. I was too wound up going into a match…like fist fight, brawling mad when I walked on….at some point I did a 1 point Gramby and landed on my feet facing my opponent. The ref stopped the match as I went for the follow up shot……he had called me pinned on the roll through.

It was horse shit…and I said something to him. The home crowd got on me…and I responded to someone walking off the mat. I regretted it as soon as it happened…I knew it was a bad look. I lost a match, and an extra team point for my team, and some respect from a rival school.

Before I got off the mat, our coach had me by the throat with both hands…he lifted me off the mat by my head and carried me to the wall that he then slammed me against….off the ground. I don’t know how long I was levitating but it was long enough to feel his thumbs touching in the middle of my throat.

I don’t know what he said…but I know his eyes had blood in them and cotton balls of spit were ejecting from his mouth. The message was clear. Never embarrass myself, my coach, my team or my school with my actions.

I knew I was wrong, I knew I deserved it and I knew I was going to apologize to the ref and the other wrestler before it even started. I learned a valuable lesson about self control that night.

Today, I’m friends with that opponent and the coach would die for any of his wrestlers today. He helps my son today….but age has taken a lot of the edge off of that war horse.

I got yelled out (and my helmet slapped) during two-a-days one year in high school when our head coach was trying to see who should be on our punt return team. I was quick enough, and fast enough to be a tackle (head up on a guard) in a 6-1 Monster defense. I could also sub at tackle on the offensive line, but I was NOT fast enough to be on the offensive line that set a wall for punt returns...I just couldn't maintain the speed our coach wanted for more than 30 yards no matter how good of physical shape I was in and no matter how hard I ran. I was good enough to letter my junior and senior year for defense, and could play the front line on our kick return team, but NOT our punt return team. EDIT: this was either in 1987 or 1988...

Silent disdain while they were concentrating on the kids who they were actually going to play in a game.

But in fairness, the football coach at my high school wasn't bright enough to string together a full sentence, so who knows what he was really thinking.

We were inbetween my sophomore and junior years of High School Baseball.... Having just wrapped up the JV season of HS ball, most the kids were going to play for one of two competitive summer travel teams. I decided I still wanted to play for the youth league because my Best friend was on the team, with the coach i had played for most of my youth. I was at a game, in uniform over the summer when the Varsity and JV HS Baseball coaches walked by our field and saw me playing catch... the JV Coach lost it on me. He wasn't even my coach (at the time) and said i would never amount to anything because I wouldn't compete.

Looking back i understand how right he was, not pushing myself to be more competitive and/or strive for greater things. I was complacent with playing on a team that practiced once a week and I could dominate, and didn't realize how much i was limiting myself. Was embarrassing in the moment.

I was a reserve on a really really good high school basketball team. We went 24-1. I never really expected to play much unless we were blowing teams out and quite frankly I was only concerned with scoring points. I was decent at scoring but an awful defender. Typical white guy.

Anyway my coach was kind of a dickhead. He used to call me "Damn it" as a nickname because anytime in practice I was so bad at defense he would have to yell damn it all the time. They started calling me damn it in school. I led the team in scoring in our reserve game and after the game the coach came up to congratulate me but didn't use my name, just the name damn it.

After boot camp I don't really think anything a coach ever said to me could count as being chewed out.

Let me see, yep I definitely have a story for this subject. Sophomore year in high school and I was trying to make varsity football. I was playing cornerback and came on a corner blitz and nailed the starting varsity QB (who had the no contact jersey on). Coach walked up to me and grabbed me by the facemask and started yanking me around while providing a few choice words that would get a coach fired in this day and age. I had no problem with that part of it, the part I wasn't particularly fond of was he lead me over to a 10 ft deep ditch and tossed me down into it. I had to climb my way out of the ditch in full pads. But here's the thing, I didn't do that again in practice, instead I saved that aggression for the actual game where I knew it was no holds barred! Had a pretty good game the following Friday.

Baseball- Coach pulls the team aside after a tournament game and proceeds to chew us all out with expletive's and the random ".. playing like a bunch of old ladies in wheelchairs.. pull your heads out of your asses...."

This went on for a full 20minutes.

We were 8. lol

gotta love the 80's!

Similar experience on my soccer team when I was 6 years old. The other team had a girl on it who was large for our age and was kicking our asses. She was tough and physical. Coach shouted us down and shamed us on the sidelines about "getting beat by a girl!" for his whole halftime speech.

Must have gotten through to me because one time in the second half she was running my way towards our goal and I ran up and kicked the ball the other direction, up and over the swarm of kids. Pretty sure that was the only time that whole season that my foot actually touched the soccer ball. I walked off that field feeling about 10 feet tall. We lost by a lot, though.

Had a dude who was a high school cosch ate my ass after a night of drinking. Does that count?

Yelling was never the issue in High School for me. Football you would always have coaches yelling at you and saying this and that.

Baseball on the other hand was a different story. Our head coach was a retired military man who had been coaching baseball for many many years for the High School. When ever you screwed up whether it be fielding a ball wrong, making a bad throw or whatever...

He would call time, walk out onto the field not saying a word and with his hands on his hip he would just stare at you for what seemed like hours! Again he would not say a word and just stare at you. Then turn around and walk back into the dugout. This was by far much worse than getting yelled at by a coach.

Our youth soccer coach was a hothead, yelling at dipshit players that mostly deserved it. But you always had a sense that he was just a little unhinged. Then there was the time he got into a fight/shoving match with the opposing coach. Turned out later that he beat his wife. got arrested for it as I recall. Sometimes when there is smoke there is fire.

Nothing comes to mind in sports.

I had a manager years ago who was practically a screaming coach though, and oddly enough given my hardcore passive aggressive/non-confrontational upbringing, I found it does absolutely nothing for me. If anything, I'd have a hard time not cracking a smile at someone screaming about sports (or work) unless I was getting screamed at for putting someone's life in danger or something that's actually serious (and probably why I never played in anything that was super competitive).

It was the first and last time I ever quit a team in my life. My dad never allowed me to quit teams but for some reason when I came home that day he just seen me and let me quit, and I played baseball, soccer, football, tennis... He told me years later that He could just tell that this was a different incident than the norm.

I was on a very competitive high level soccer team and I was between the ages of 11-12.. I guess from my coaches perspective I couldn't get a play down that we were running and he kept drilling me in front of the entire team and then eventually grabbed me and yelled go sit over here and watch you're not getting it, but I still remember to this day I think it was just the way he did it and all, it just got me crying in front of the team that day too and I remember saying to myself I will NEVER come back to play for this team...

Turns out later he got fired from the club (unrelated to me) team asked me to come back but I was too embarrassed...

Eventually made varsity as a freshman, quit playing end of sophmore year, got too involved in weed and partying. Waste of talent in soccer, I was always just "ok" at high school football.

Coaches used to yank you by your facemask at football practice if you weren't paying attention.

This one is close but the "chewing" came from parents in the marching band booster club. Our 6A team was getting ready to run out on the field but the band wasn't finished. A couple of guys with the banner and team captains sprinted out and started to run through and around the brass section. Oops, a huge roar and calling out of the team commenced. Never happened again. Don't mess with the band!

I was by far the worst putter on our college golf team despite being in the #2 to #3 ranked golfer on our team. I liked to just hit the range and bomb drives at practice.

One day I was hitting 50 yard hooks dicking around and he goes you fkn embarrass me. Took all my clubs outta my bag except my wedges and putter. Told me I had to practice putting only for a week.

The next meet I had 44 and 42 putts despite hitting 16 and 15 greens. Think it was probably just to spite him. Im not the best teammate.

Never, because I wasnt a ****ing dipshit.

the wrestling coach just told everyone "That's ten off for being STUPID" all of the time

nothing too bad but that always made me laugh a little

I had pretty good coaches and was a super try hard (mostly because I wasn’t very good) so I didn’t draw the coaches ire too much. One time I remember a coach saying “are dumb or just plain stupid?” I don’t even remember what I said but he apologized a few minutes later and said “the right answer is ‘neither coach’”.

There were a few that pissed me off, though, even though they were nothing. We had a kid that was 6’9 on our basketball team and at 6’3 it was a pretty tough ask for me to guard him, because he was a respectable athlete and could play. So naturally I just beat the bejesus out of him because we weighed about the same. So one time a shot went up and we were both right in front of the basket. Knowing I’m completely ****ed on the defensive rebound I put a body on him and rode him way out past the free throw line. Wouldn’t you know it, long ****ing rebound. I held the blockout, released perfectly and jumped as high as I could, and I see this gangly ****ing arm reach over me and get it. I got some comment from my coach. Come on Buehler or something. Got I was pissed. I didn’t say shit then, but now I’d be like “wtf am I supposed to do? If I ride him past the 3 point line it’s a foul. Hell what I did was probably a foul.” God I was pissed. Poor basrard paid for it though, I took it all out on him.

Only time I've ever been chewed out, was during a little league game age 12

Cranked an easy triple while at bat, only problem was the ball struck my right index finger instead of the bat... it popped a nearly three inch gash in my finger right down to the bone

So I'm staring at my own bones for the first time at homeplate totally frozen, meanwhile my Italian prick HC who thought he was the second coming of Tommy Lasorda was cussing me a blue streak to RUN NOW RUN WTF ARE YOU DOING?!!

Long story short, made it to second then went for stitches

Probably the worst I got was Basketball at around 10 years old. I was spacing out in the huddle, assistant coach noticed this and asked me "Hey, you paying attention?" I just nod and pretend I heard everything. Big mistake. I was supposed to be subbed out but walked back out on the court. Lots of coaches and parents yelling and I look around completely bewildered. I get called for 6 men on the court, and the coach that tried to get my attention in the huddle just lays in to me as I go to sit on the bench.

He apologized after the game for maybe going a bit overboard, but it was definitely my fault.

EDIT: Come to think of it, that same assistant coach was also my peewee Baseball coach. I played sick for the playoffs. Someone gets a base hit and because I feel like I'll puke at any moment, I jog after the ball instead of going full sprint. Coach absolutely EXPLODES on the bench screaming for me to get the ****ing ball.

So yeah, I think that dude just had an explosive temper.

My all-time favorite:

Basketball in high school, I slip around a screen attempt at the top of the key, poke a pass away from the guy I was guarding (who was curling off the screen), and have an easy breakaway.

I go down and (successfully, this is important) dunk it one-handed, then take some lower-body contact and get fouled, too.

I see my coach acting all pissed on the sidelines, and assume he is made because I got undercut/danger. Whatever. I make the FT, play goes on.

Next timeout, coach lays into me for showboating and tells me if I'm going to dunk on a breakaway like that, I better do it two-handed so I don't blow the 2 points.

So, I got chewed out for (1) working hard through a screen on D to get a steal (2) converting that steal into 3 points.

Good times.

Humble I can brag dunk.

Nice story anyways. Coaches can be idiots.

i got the starting pitcher wrong in the college rag

bitched up a storm over the phone LMAO

Dipshittery came when you got older?

Andy should of chewed your ass out a couple of years ago..

Never got ripped too bad when I was a kid in sports, but I can definitely remember getting my ass ripped in the Air Force. Once in a mission debrief by a Lt. Col. telling me if I did "that" in a war that I'd get people killed. The worst part was that he was right.

Never got a one-on-one beatdown from a coach. Many times we took an ass reaming as a team at halftimes or during timeouts or changing innings.

My Senior year in HS baseball....I had been bugging my HS coach to get a chance to pitch in a few games.

Midway thru the season our #2 pitcher took a line drive off his elbow and was out the rest of the season. So I got moved into the rotation....and the next to last game of the regular season i was tabbed to start the game.

My coach came up and talked to me before the game and told me to stay with my strength...nothing fancy, just stick with my fastball...moving it around and throw in the occasional breaking pitch...

I had been practicing throwing a knuckle ball and a submarine pitch like Quisenberry.....and wanted to slip both in later on in the game...

It was the 6th inning and we were up 8-0...I had only given up 3 hits and 2 walks....and I decided it was time to slip them in.

On an 0-2 count i threw the knuckleball for strike 3...and was feeling froggy....I looked over at my coach and his fave was stoic....so I figured he was letting me have one.

The next batter was their 7th hitter and had pretty much whiffed on everything I had thrown all night. With a 2-2 count i went submarine and he got the bat on the ball for a line drive out to 3rd base.

Thinking I had gotten away with it again I watched the infield toss the ball around....not noticing that my coach was striding speedily to the mound. He had the catcher hand him the ball and told him to go back to the plate....he and I were going to have a quick chat.

In no uncertain terms I was told that if i threw anything but fastball the rest of the game I would be running around the outside of the fence for the rest of the game. I had never seen his face be so fixed and stern....

Needless to say I only threw fastball the rest of the game

I mean, I can't dunk anymore. I'm 42 years old. I think I can touch the rim one-handed at this point.

But yeah, that douchebag coach went to Drake (played there, actually). I've disliked them for a long time.

He took over for a very successful, really smart Xs and Os coach my junior year. Promptly tried to install a free-flowing motion offense and an up-tempo, full-court press style when we had 7 guys who could actually play and lacked the offensive personnel to run motion.

It went poorly.

They brought the previous coach back as an assistant 1/2 through my junior year. We went back to the old offense (hi-low, with lots of interior screens and plenty of triangle concepts) and stopped trying to press everywhere, and the season turned around.

The Drake Douchebag also loved to have us run gassers at the end of practice every day, and then make one guy shoot "pressure free throws" so we could practice protecting a lead when we were tired ... and made us keep running if the picked guy didn't make 2.

I was one of our two best FT shooters, with a big gap from us to #3. He stopped letting us shoot them two weeks into practice my jr. year and never let either of us be "the guy who can make it stop" again... even though everything we ran was designed to get the ball to one of us in those situations.

You could tell me he didn't let the two guys everything was designed to get the ball to in must-make FT spots shoot these practice shots because he wanted to spread things around, or prepare for when things didn't go to plan, or just to work on our conditioning.

But it was really just sadism and control. He enjoyed laughing when people failed.

I'm not sure what I ever did to you to get constant shit from you.

Got bitched at in High School for missing a block (I was the running back) that almost got my QB killed. QB (Still my best friend to this day 36 years later) and the coach both screamed at me.

What were your trivia rankings?

I played college football (small time, not a brag) where we had literally hundreds of kids show up for training camp and the coaches dressed everyone down. I, like you, laughed at the insults about my family (think they went all the way back to my great, great, great grandmother). It was hell, but man was it entertaining. I should have been an abortion, etc etc.

I probably watched 50 to 100 kids take their shit off and walk off the field, during practice. It was all to see who had the GAF to be there and who would go home. Such a good life lesson, great times.

My sophomore year in a new school, during practice, I banked in a driving, twisting, hook shot. The 'coach' screams: " if you do that again your azz is on the bench." Very intimidating for a kid in a new school and needless to say I shot very little after that. 10 minutes of play and 10 pts that year . That was it for my B team year on a team that won 2 games all year. It still upsets me just typing this. The last game that year I did another razel dazel shot that went in but it was at the end of the game. I smiled at him as I walked off the court. Guys like that should not coach.