If you vote for Missouri, just know that DJ's Left Nut and I may order a hit on you, and it'll be fully legal. The time to worry is when you hear fife music.

Naked.

If I were a few decades older, I'd pick the DC house.

By having power hungry interns feed them to you.

The Missouri house is the first I think that has everything I’d expect that normal million dollar house doesn’t have such as a basketball court, bowling, large movie theater, and huge pool slides, as well as the land, and overall interior space.

The feel of that DC house basically requires staff - kitchen, laundry, groundskeeping, valet, someone to announce arrivals in the reception hall. Gonna be challenging with that small of a stipend, but you're living like royalty.

Do the horses come with the MO house since they are pictured inside the barn? That could be a big negative.

That's a really good question.

Let's go with the assumption that you can negotiate to keep them or have the previous owners take them, whichever you prefer.

My general rule will be that I will not own horses on any of these properties.

$20 million for a house and I have to pay HOA fees? The ****?

Missouri. I didn't have to look at the one in DC. I lived in NVA for 15 years. **** that place in the face.

St Louis sucks, the basketball court is unplayable with the string lights.

I just took a closer look at Photo 13 of Missouri. Is that a chapel?

draw here.

2 places I would never move to


hard pass

I'd probably pick a mobile home over living in DC.

Living around St. Louis isn't the greatest in the world either, but it has a 2 lane bowling alley inside so...

Going with Missouri on this one.

Looks like it, you can see the outside of those same windows in Photo 14.