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-   -   UHHHH. Ok (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=201156)

ChiTown 01-26-2009 01:59 PM

UHHHH. Ok
 
So, I work on the 2nd floor of an office complex in Wichita. The 2nd floor has business's like insurance, investment, energy, etc. The 3rd floor is primarily for hair salons, massage therapy, photography, and the like.

Right above my office, there is a hair salon that I go to out of sheer convenience. Earlier today, I hear music blaring above me - fkg rap - and I can't figure wtf is going on. I let it play out for about 10 minutes and then it just starts to fkn annoy me. I'm trying to have a phone conversation and I'm hearing Lil Whayne in the background:cuss:

Anyhoo, I walk up to the 3rd floor salon, and there are no lights on. Initially, I thought maybe they might have some construction workers doing something for them, since they are closed on Monday's - but, where's the lights?. I knock on the door - no answer. I then proceed to walk in and turn the corner to the salon area. And then, I see it. There is a woman, buck naked, blowing a guy in a barber chair. The dude makes eye contact with me.

ChiTown "Uhh, sorry bout that".

Dude: "Uuh, Uuh, babe" (and points at me)

Chick (turning around to see what it is): "F*&^!" (and makes some guttural shrieking noise, while trying to cover herself up)

That's the some total of that conversation. Ok, here's where it get's weird.

A. Fkg lock the gdamn door next time you dumbfug's

B. Chick = Owner of the Salon

C. Dude does not equal her husband, whom I have met before

D. Chick = Gal who cuts my hair

E. I have an appointment with her to cut my hair on Friday:doh!:

Before you ask, yes, she has a very nice ass, and a decent set of knockers. I have totally blocked out any image of the man's penis. I need a drink.........

58-4ever 01-26-2009 02:01 PM

this thread is worthless without pics.

doomy3 01-26-2009 02:01 PM

Awesome.

Detoxing 01-26-2009 02:02 PM

Damn it!

Fish 01-26-2009 02:02 PM

Ask her if you can also take advantage of the alternate payment method like the last guy did....

KC-TBB 01-26-2009 02:02 PM

so it's a full service salon?

Demonpenz 01-26-2009 02:03 PM

Did he cum or what?

58-4ever 01-26-2009 02:04 PM

this Friday cut is going to be very interesting.

Redrum_69 01-26-2009 02:04 PM

tell her she better give you the full treatment and the happy ending better be damn good, otherwise you are gonna tell her husband.

58-4ever 01-26-2009 02:04 PM

maybe she'll shampoo your junk.

Donger 01-26-2009 02:04 PM

I wonder why she took her clothes off? That isn't required for a BJ, unless there are different requisites in Wichita.

58-4ever 01-26-2009 02:04 PM

just a little trim?

BigVE 01-26-2009 02:05 PM

Whoa baby, first time I have literally laughed out loud in a while. Wowzer. LMAO...that's what you get for trespassing!

58-4ever 01-26-2009 02:05 PM

maybe she got confused when he asked for a blow-dry?

Bowser 01-26-2009 02:05 PM

BJ and a haircut, two bits!

Planetman 01-26-2009 02:06 PM

1 Attachment(s)
If you're smart, you'll find a new hair stylist before Friday.

ChiTown 01-26-2009 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donger (Post 5428104)
I wonder why she took her clothes off? That isn't required for a BJ, unless there are different requisites in Wichita.

My guess, and totally a guess, is that the BJ was a precursor to a nice barber chair ****.

DaKCMan AP 01-26-2009 02:06 PM

Nice.

58-4ever 01-26-2009 02:07 PM

I'll need the address of this shop please. For....just give me the address!!

HemiEd 01-26-2009 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 58-4ever (Post 5428096)
this Friday cut is going to be very interesting.

Yeah, she should at least rub them on ChiTown a little. :D

Donger 01-26-2009 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTown (Post 5428122)
My guess, and totally a guess, is that the BJ was a precursor to a nice barber chair ****.

So you came early?

Goapics1 01-26-2009 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTown (Post 5428122)
My guess, and totally a guess, is that the BJ was a precursor to a nice barber chair ****.

So...............was that why Lil Wayne was playin'?

Bowser 01-26-2009 02:10 PM

Speaking of this, I have heard a rumor of a salon north of the river that doubles as an escort service. I have never tried to confirm said rumor, just passing along what I have heard. And for the sake of continuity, I heard this rumor a few years ago.

Bowser 01-26-2009 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goapics1 (Post 5428147)
So...............was that why Lil Wayne was playin'?

She called him so he could make it juicy for her.

Buck 01-26-2009 02:12 PM

2 Things.

1. Are you married?

2. Worthless w/out Pics

Delano 01-26-2009 02:13 PM

For your sake, ChiTown, I hope that isn't the only chair.

Dried jizz near your fly is one thing, but dried jizz on the back of your pants may draw unwanted attention.

Iowanian 01-26-2009 02:14 PM

If you do go to that appointment...I triple dog dare you to carry in a can of
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...500_AA280_.jpg

and wipe off the chair before sitting down.

It'll make her feel like an

http://gruntlings.com/wp-content/upl...rox_inside.jpg

Jenson71 01-26-2009 02:14 PM

Well did she at least turn down the music afterwards?

Crush 01-26-2009 02:14 PM

That is what I call a sticky situation.

Gonzo 01-26-2009 02:16 PM

Sounds to me like you're getting free haircuts for life dude. I'd also have them throw in some massages etc....

DJ's left nut 01-26-2009 02:18 PM

Your day > My day

I work in the wrong city.

Iowanian 01-26-2009 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gonzo (Post 5428185)
Sounds to me like you're getting free haircuts for life dude. I'd also have them throw in some massages etc....

You could get some quality entertainment, and free haircuts out of this one.

She's the one that should feel out of place and shitty about this, not you.

Lock the door, dumbass.

Jilly 01-26-2009 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTown (Post 5428122)
My guess, and totally a guess, is that the BJ was a precursor to a nice barber chair ****.

I'm not sure how you got that from that, but ok!!


Seriously, though, this story is all too familiar.

ChiTown 01-26-2009 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BuckinKaeding (Post 5428156)
2 Things.

1. Are you married?

2. Worthless w/out Pics

1. Faithfully for over 15yrs

2. I'm not sure that the better shot wouldn't have been the look on my face.

Brock 01-26-2009 02:20 PM

This is what cameraphones are for.

Gonzo 01-26-2009 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 5428201)
You could get some quality entertainment, and free haircuts out of this one.

She's the one that should feel out of place and shitty about this, not you.

Lock the door, dumbass.

No doubt, I would just go there with a big ass smile on my face, after getting the haircut - shampoo etc, load up on hair styling product. When she gives you a bill, smile and say "Yeah...I don't think so."

58-4ever 01-26-2009 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTown (Post 5428219)
1. Faithfully for over 15yrs

2. I'm not sure that the better shot wouldn't have been the look on my face.

the best shot would've been on her face.

Brock 01-26-2009 02:22 PM

Also, hopefully there's another barber chair available.

Gonzo 01-26-2009 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 58-4ever (Post 5428133)
I'll need the address of this shop please. For....just give me the address!!

I doubt it'd be that hard to find being at least a three story building in Wichita.

rockymtnchief 01-26-2009 02:24 PM

You didn't grab a magazine, sit down, and wait for your turn? :)

Demonpenz 01-26-2009 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 5428167)
If you do go to that appointment...I triple dog dare you to carry in a can of
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...500_AA280_.jpg

and wipe off the chair before sitting down.

It'll make her feel like an

http://gruntlings.com/wp-content/upl...rox_inside.jpg

i doubt he has a fleshlight

ChiTown 01-26-2009 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jilly (Post 5428218)
I'm not sure how you got that from that, but ok!!


Seriously, though, this story is all too familiar.

Well, maybe things are different with you and Sully.

a. I don't normally just receive a BJ from Mrs. ChiTown. It's usually part of the meal, not the entire meal.

b. I assumed she was planning to get some for herself since her knickers were on the floor.

c. Familiar? Really? Do tell!:D

Bowser 01-26-2009 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jilly (Post 5428218)
I'm not sure how you got that from that, but ok!!


Seriously, though, this story is all too familiar.

:hmmm:

Do tell....

Baby Lee 01-26-2009 02:26 PM

[the wire]I'm just gonna call you Herc from now on[/the wire]

siberian khatru 01-26-2009 02:28 PM

This whole thread is already hilarious, and this:

Quote:

Originally Posted by KC-TBB (Post 5428084)
so it's a full service salon?

is my favorite of many good lines.

:clap:

Iowanian 01-26-2009 02:31 PM

You can use the planets help.

We need to assist you in coming up with as many fellatio suggestive every-day conversation lines as we can, and your job is to USE them during your haircut.

Man...the wind sure is BLOWING the snow around today.

mikeyis4dcats. 01-26-2009 02:31 PM

say, could you see if she has an opening around 10AM on next Monday?

mikeyis4dcats. 01-26-2009 02:31 PM

now some asshole just needs to figure out which salon this is and call her up.

siberian khatru 01-26-2009 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 58-4ever (Post 5428229)
the best shot would've been on her face.

Eeeeeeewwwwww! /luv

Iowanian 01-26-2009 02:32 PM

Do you ever have anyone complain when their haircut just sucks balls, even when it doesn't?

Iowanian 01-26-2009 02:37 PM

I took my kids to the circus this weekend, and they had an amazing sword swallower that looked just like you.

ChiTown 01-26-2009 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 5428306)
Do you ever have anyone complain when their haircut just sucks balls, even when it doesn't?

I'm heading out of town tomorrow morning. I have 3 days to devise my plan of attack for Friday's trim.................:D

Jilly 01-26-2009 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 5428296)
You can use the planets help.

We need to assist you in coming up with as many fellatio suggestive every-day conversation lines as we can, and your job is to USE them during your haircut.

Man...the wind sure is BLOWING the snow around today.

Perhaps this time, you could use a little more creme rinse?

Iowanian 01-26-2009 02:39 PM

Offer her some chapstick. Don't say anything.


You should probably offer her a tic tac, because when she leans in close to check your bangs on your new ceasar cut, you don't want to be sniffing any cockbreath.

Iowanian 01-26-2009 02:51 PM

maybe I'll help you with a poem to read her during your trim.


Your husband's day off
home taking a nap.
I couldn't get work done
Interupted by rap.

I came in the walk through
to do bus'ness I was hopin'.
The sign in the window
wasn't all that was open.

I've seen pornos like this
where the chic was the boss
2 enter to disco
and filled her with sauce.

I've consulted urban dictionary
for finishing moves with some power
the dudes give high fives
in one called eiffel tower.

Him from the front
and me from behind
A more lucrative coupon
I'll again never find.

I guess with this photo
There's something to see
Its soothing to know
now my haircuts are free.

Rain Man 01-26-2009 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 5428296)
You can use the planets help.

We need to assist you in coming up with as many fellatio suggestive every-day conversation lines as we can, and your job is to USE them during your haircut.

Man...the wind sure is BLOWING the snow around today.


Without reading the whole thread,

"Can you give me a blow dry?"

"My hair is a little flat. I'm hoping you can fluff it up."

"I'm just looking for a little trim today."

"What can I get for $25?"

"Can I just get it teased a little?"

Pennywise 01-26-2009 02:52 PM

Tell her you just got a great deal on your new car.

"I never thought I'd get a hummer so cheap."

ChiTown 01-26-2009 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 5428396)
maybe I'll help you with a poem to read her during your trim.


Your husband's day off
home taking a nap.
I couldn't get work done
Interupted by rap.

I came in the walk through
to do bus'ness I was hopin'.
The sign in the window
wasn't all that was open.

I've seen pornos like this
where the chic was the boss
2 enter to disco
and filled her with sauce.

I've consulted the urban dictionary
for a finishing move with some power
the dudes give high fives
in one called the eiffel tower.

Him from the front
and me from behind
A more lucrative coupon
I'll again never find.

I guess with this photo
There's something to see
Its soothing to know
now my haircuts are free.

GTFO. Awesome!

ROFLROFLROFLROFL

bowener 01-26-2009 03:03 PM

Are you single and was her husband a douche?

Iowanian 01-26-2009 03:06 PM

Complaint department
customer service awesome
head massage welcome

Iowanian 01-26-2009 03:11 PM

Beauty salons not the same
In the north or the south
They massage your scalp with their fingers
not your head with their mouth.

I've had a trim on the east
high and tight in the west.
The only slight physical contact
the "tip me please" breast.

After a straight razor shave
I've been given a warm towel
But I've never seen one for cleaning
the face paint off the gal.

Men lined up to the street
for the special brow plucking
the economy weak
but your business is sucking.

Pioli Zombie 01-26-2009 03:12 PM

in conversation, whatever she says, respond with "You said a mouthful"

Fritz88 01-26-2009 03:35 PM

what's a buck?

raybec 4 01-26-2009 03:42 PM

I believe through reading other threads it would be proper Chiefs Planet etiquette to immediately discover her husbands identity and snitch her trampy ass out.

Fritz88 01-26-2009 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raybec 4 (Post 5428624)
I believe through reading other threads it would be proper Chiefs Planet etiquette to immediately discover her husbands identity and snitch her trampy ass out.

not too shabby.

88TG88 01-26-2009 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gonzo (Post 5428226)
No doubt, I would just go there with a big ass smile on my face, after getting the haircut - shampoo etc, load up on hair styling product. When she gives you a bill, smile and say "Yeah...I don't think so."

please do this

Fritz88 01-26-2009 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gonzo (Post 5428226)
No doubt, I would just go there with a big ass smile on my face, after getting the haircut - shampoo etc, load up on hair styling product. When she gives you a bill, smile and say "Yeah...I don't think so."

do it.

blueballs 01-26-2009 03:51 PM

WHen you go in Friday
ask for a high an tight

Iowanian 01-26-2009 04:01 PM

"how do you want your cut today" /count suckula

"mmmfff mfmmfmfmfmmfmffff mmfff mmmfffff mmmfffff" /chitown

"what? how do you want your cut today, handsome?" /count suckula

"circumcise me above the ears"

Bowser 01-26-2009 04:55 PM

You should get a percentage of the new business she pulls in now.

Jilly 01-26-2009 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fritz88 (Post 5428639)
do it.

yeah....this. I like this.

bluehawkdoc 01-26-2009 05:27 PM

Ok, I have been giving this some thought. I think this was a simple misinterpretation of what was truly happening. Obviously, this is one of those "green" salons with "natural" products. This poor salon owner was just in the process of harvesting said product for the next week. It seems reasonable that she would take off her clothes to avoid an expensive trip to the cleaners.

ChiTown, you may want to pass on the "gel" after your cut on Friday. I'm just sayin'...

Baby Lee 01-26-2009 05:46 PM

I loved 'Happy Days,' when they cheer for Fonzie . . . but boy I liked to boo Chachi.

It's all in the delivery.

Rain Man 01-26-2009 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 88TG88 (Post 5428629)
please do this

Yes, it appears that Chitown just discovered the secret to having a highly profitable wholesale beauty supply business.

PRIEST 01-26-2009 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 58-4ever (Post 5428105)
just a little trim?






:clap:

redhed 01-26-2009 07:37 PM

:D

That is fuggin' awesome!
You should def offer her a tic-tac on Fri. And you should tell her in addition to your usual haircut, your pubes need a trim as well.

CrazyPhuD 01-26-2009 07:56 PM

ROFL....and people still doubt that stylists are only a small step up from strippers.

bevis369 01-26-2009 08:07 PM

:clap:

Archie F. Swin 01-26-2009 08:36 PM

so....by Friday you'll be gettin yourself a Lil' Wayne CD, eh?

Your opening line should be "So, How's (enter husband's name here) been lately?

Coach 01-26-2009 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gonzo (Post 5428226)
No doubt, I would just go there with a big ass smile on my face, after getting the haircut - shampoo etc, load up on hair styling product. When she gives you a bill, smile and say "Yeah...I don't think so."

Ah, blackmailing is such a beautiful thing....


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