Hear ye, hear ye! The monkey trial is about to begin!
 

As a long-time observer and poster on Chiefsplanet, I have noticed a wee bit of conflict recently between one Mecca and several other posters. The conflicts have been escalating, and I think it's time that the Chiefsplanet legal system stepped in.

I am declaring a monkey court to be put into place for the purpose of placing Mecca on trial. As a known neutral party, I shall serve as the judge for this trial. The charges are:

Charge 1. Treason in the first degree for predicting a poor season for the Chiefs.

Charge 2. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Geathers hit on Trent Green was innocent and non-fineworthy.

Charge 3. Treason in the first degree for citing that the Rolle face mask was not an act of evil visited upon a Chief by an opposing player.

Charge 4. Threats to kill other Chiefsplanet members in the interest of protecting animals.

Charge 5. General mayhem.

Additional charges may be filed by the prosecution before the trial begins.

By participating in the trial, all parties agree that the rulings of the court will stand, unless for some reason they don't want to listen to the court.

Over the course of the next few days, the following will take place.

1. Mecca may appoint a lawyer to represent him, or he may choose to represent himself. The lawyer need not be a real lawyer. He may also choose to have a larger defense team if he wishes, but the lead defender will be the only official voice.

2. The opposing side will choose a lawyer to represent them, or if none can be chosen, I shall select one. The lawyer need not be a real lawyer. Might I suggest that candidates nominate themselves in this thread, and I will then create a poll, with the largest votegetter being selected as lead prosecutor. The prosecution may also choose to have a larger prosecution team, but the lead prosecutor will be the only official voice.

3. I will request volunteers with possible actual legal experience to serve as my backroom legal team in running the trial. Any attorneys want to volunteer for this task? You cannot be part of the prosecution or defense, or be a potential witness for either side.

4. A random selection of Chiefsplanet members with more than 500 posts will be solicited for jury duty. We will then work with the prosecution and the defense to select the jury.

5. Then...the trial begins.

I would advise both sides to begin preparing their legal teams immediately. Jury selection will begin later this week.

(Banging Gavel)

Hey Rainman,

Longtime Lurker, First Time poster, here.... Uh, as a witness who has sat on the sideline watching idly...

I have to say that Mecca's only real contribution was the hot chicks he used to have in his signature, and the 8500 pages of animated gifs that he posted.

that is all, I think im impartial enough to be a juror.

Sounds too time consuming, otherwise I'd love to represent Mecca.

Motion to dismiss the judge based on previously stated opinions on charges 2 and 3 aforementioned.

The court appreciates your correspondence. All jury notices will be distributed randomly, and if called, we appreciate your civic duty.

same charge, differt infractions............

Motion denied, on account that the attorney making the motion does not represent either side in this case.

(Gosh, this was my worst nightmare. I'd hate to be kicked off the case of the century.)

um, .....you quit feeding the greatest thread ever.................

I'd like to be "randomly" selected to sit on this jury please.

It's out there now. No telling when a real attorney will spring it.

Thank you for your correspondence, and your interest in this case. If you receive a jury notice, we will appreciate your civic duty.

Can you do the monkey trial in a kangaroo court? I think that would be best.


-Amicus Curiae

How did that not get 1,000 posts? I'm amazed. It had everything.

if i volunteer to be a juror(sp?), if my county calls me in for jury duty can i just tell them i was a juror for chiesplanet court, and that will excuse me?

I nominate KCTitus as prosecuting attorney.

Okay, what'll it take to keep this quiet? Some money? A trip to Vegas? A couple of hookers?

Either him or Baby Lee. Both need to serve on the prosecution team.

You will receive a letter thanking you for your service. You can submit that to any other jurisdiction.

I'm incorrupta-- did you say money?

Sweet, I just got my 'Random' Juror invite!

I got the golden ticket!!

http://www.borg.com/~superman/memor/ticket.jpg

Oooh, A "Monkey Trial"? If I provide the bananas will it help me be selected as a juror?

Rain Man - Since I have not read any of the conflict at all, even pointing that out in other posts, I would be an impartial observer, and therefore request a seat in the jury box, PM me if this is cool with you

Thank you for your correspondence and your interest in the case. If you are randomly selected as a juror, the court appreciates your civic duty.

I would also like a random selection. :D

I can represent you Mecca. Everyone loves me and I work for rep. (positive rep)

Thank you for your correspondence and your interest in the case. If you are randomly selected as a juror, the court appreciates your civic duty.

ROFL

Do we have a baliff yet? I nominate Frazod.

Frazod whack his peepee!

We currently have two nominations for prosecutor - kctitus and baby lee - and one self-nomination for defender - jbucc.

Nominations will remain open until Thursday at noon. At that time, Mecca will choose his lead defender (or if he is not available, we will have a poll), and the poll to select a lead prosecutor will be posted.

I hate bike thieves, but love apricot BMW's. I enjoy cats as pets but detest bare spots. Big rocks are the best, the Raiders are the worst.

Am I qualified to sit on this jury?

Order in the court! Order in the court!

Thank you for your correspondence and your interest in the case. If you are randomly selected as a juror, the court appreciates your civic duty.

I've always been in school when called to serve on Jury duty......I think I just jinked myself.

I would like to be a jury member sir.

:fart: oops....

In the interest of providing swift justice, the court has now determined that anybody who wishes to volunteer for jury duty may do so, and they will be automatically entered into the jury pool along with a random selection. The two sides will select the actual jury from this pool.

Current members of the jury pool are:

Ari Chiefs
JimNasium
NJ Chief Fan
Adept Havelock
Chagrin
Gochiefs
Delano
Fairplay
Stcchief (I think)

Mecca turned me into a newt. I say we burn him!!!!!

(Banging gavel)

One more outburst like that and I'll have you removed from the courtroom!

may be feeding time.......

i nominate myself as executioner.

OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!

I am a neutral troll..a perfect specimen to be a juror :clap:

Let the record show Mecca claimed the hit by Geathers was not worthy of a suspension, not that it did not warrant a fine.

Here's the perfect lawyer for the defendant.

"You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order!"

i nominate the girl in Elvomito's avatar to give lapdances to all members of the juror pool

I wanna be in the jury pool!!!

I wonder which strip club we will end up being sequestered in?

Agreed.

What we have here is a failure to realize that you all are a bunch of ****ing drama queens

Shakin' the bush boss, shakin' the bush.

After we decide Mecca's fate I think this one needs to be put on trial. He's clearly a subordinate and has no respect for authority.

I could not be on a jury of Mecca's peers
that would be an insult

....T.....

eat my shorts

That's like letting the wolf represent the lamb's best interrest at dinner time.


I'm all for it.

Damn rightous call. However, I wouldn't make him the lead attn. because he's not here very often. We need someone who eats, sleeps and breathes this place. A real dork with no life.

You.

As long as there isn't a fridge in the court room we should all be safe.

Seconded.

I don't even know who the main plaintiff is. Who's been bitching about these grievances? Who "called out" Mecca?

And if it will please the court, I'd like to be a member of the defense committee. I have no soul anyway, and I'd like to give a shot at the Chewbacca defense.

I Offer the court any services I can Provide-

I pretty much have my mind made up that he is guilty of the charges so I have no problem serving on the jury.

You must bring the sandwich tray.

Moo

I find it beyond despicable that you have waited until mere weeks before the elections to spring these charges. Partisan politics at its worst. You have blatantly sat on these revelations, thereby endangering countless innocents. Yet in light of these facts he is guilty, guilty, guilty and should be summarily shot at 0800.

Frazod the Balif only shoots fridges, but he may make an exception for you. Sound good?

Charges of public disergentedness have been overlooked.

Its obvious that SCTrojan should be appointed for the defense....after all, the only quality comes from USC.

I agree. Mecca/Jim reminds me of the kid who is trying to be more extreme than his extreme father - he just isn't quite as bright as the old man.:)

No Not really-

I was thinking more as the Monkey Court Pimp.. who brings the ho's for the Jury and for whom ever wins the trial...

I would be honored to serve the court as a member of the jury......

Actually, that spot has already been filled by the chick in Elvomito's avatar. Still wanna be shot by Frazod the Big Game Fridge Hunter?

Great, I'm Bull Shannon. :D

:hmmm:

Now what Prey tell is your position with the court -

Judge Rain Man does Simplex Operate under your Jurice Prudence?

And if so...

Is getting Shot by Frazod the only open position for me?

:shrug:

I heard he banged Markie Post. :shrug:

http://www.beertownusa.com/prodimage...20sex%20SM.jpg

Mmmmm.... Markie :drool:

I should get some of that stuff. I'm just as ugly and nearly as bald!

You'll shoot Slag, right?

Sure, why not? :)

Do I have to dress him up as a fridge or is simply sounding a siren enough?

Balif whack his pee-pee ....

I would only agree to get shot at if I was Dressed up as a fridge


:harumph:

Is it too late to be added to the jury pool?