you ****ing tard... you missed my intent and jumped straight into a tirade because you felt I was attacking you in some way. We could have conversed and probably came to an accord but you just wanted to bear your claws. Have at it then... I'm imperfect. My history is pretty laid out across the board. Pick something and poke at it until you feel we are even... in fact, take a little more so that you can feel good about yourself.

Either you can try and have a civilized discourse and possinly try to understand what I meant or you can throw a little tantrum and drama queen the hell out of this tread.

Okay, I this is a personal subject for you and it explains your responses. I am pretty sure that neither myself nor SNR expressed the belief that an age difference, in itself, is grounds for not pursuing a relationship. This particular discussion stems from concerns about the unique, difficult issues relating to the power and influence someone in a relationship with a student or even former student could face.

That is all. It is not being played up as a monstrous thing, it's just a tricky situation that only partially pertains to the ages of those involved.

And no, I didn't jump on you because of your intent, I jumped on you because I can't make four posts on this ****ing forum without someone helpfully bringing up an incredibly personal, painful facet of my life that I shared in a time of desperation seven years ago. I AM AWARE. MY VIEWPOINT IS INFORMED BY MY EXPERIENCES AS A TRANS PERSON. Thank you ever so much for your edifying contribution.

I so horny

Why are we so hard on Matt Cassel? He sucks, but that's no reason for us to go on the internet behind his back and make jokes about him having sex with the general manager or being a locker room klutz or getting AIDS and dying in a fire.

I clearly posted this thread trying to sample the board if I would do well to trust my emotions on this one. I didn't do it as a lame gossip story.

There are several posters here who also work in academia like myself who will have some interesting things to say no doubt. Already a good conversation has been getting on a roll since I started the thread. That was my intention.

pics or GTFO

he's ok looking. but I wouldn't **** him.

you made it an age thing when you brought that one of upi favorite professors was skeeving on you and a few other classmates, and he's got a younger-by-a-decade wifeup the younger by the decade bit in your first post in here. This is what I was making all my comments in regards to.

Then then showed surprised at your reaction about the situation in OP. I honestly thought you would have been more sympathetic seeing that they are geting married and she hasn't been his student in 2 years. I honestly thought you would withhold judgement and see it for wat it looks like on its face. 2 peeps fell in love, tehy waited until she was no longer a student... then game on.

I was wrong in how I thought you would see this situation.

a) The combination of his behavior around female students (not that it was outright bad, just that I kind of got the vibe he was maybe not solely platonically interested) and the fact that his wife was slightly older than me was enough to give me pause. Note that I also stated that I did my best to disregard these thoughts that were in the back of my mind because I enjoyed his classes a lot and he seemed like a swell guy and he never crossed any lines of professionalism, from what I could tell.

b) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

My trans history is not a bargaining chip to be used in an argument, is not a tool for you to use to stifle my expression of completely ****ing ordinary human emotions, and is not something you can point to to try to predict my reaction to wholly unrelated topics.

It's not something I actively use to contextualize every single issue I consider, and it sure as **** isn't something to be treated as my only defining characteristic. Which is what you are doing when you casually toss it around when I'm discussing complicated social interactions or terrible white safeties or the World Badminton Cup.

There's no arguing that point as I've clearly jumped into the conversation as well. My general curiosity, though, is why social interactions are more about negative things (whether large or small) than positive things.

I can appreciate good topics and starting threads to get a general consensus about something. But why at the expense of somebody else? Why not post something interesting about yourself for us all to talk about and say whether or not it should be accepted or considered taboo?

Or on a similar note, why do all the comments on YouTube and the like turn into negativity no matter what type of video you're looking at? It's always been very interesting to me that the natural pull of society, across the world, is negativity and shit talking with each other, about each other to other people, etc.

It's usually just a few people, too, but they are powerful and can suck in the people around them. Would be interesting to see those same people turn that power around and use it in some other fashion.

So again, I don't mean any disrespect towards you directly, but my questions still stand. Why worry about it and waste your time, emotion, or energy with it? What draws you to that sort of thing over any of the other million things you could be doing with your time, online or offline? Things that actually do interest you and don't just make you feel icky.

When I see or hear things I genuinely don't like or care nothing about I typically just move on and I don't give it a second thought. In this case I almost did that except that it sparked these sociological questions in my mind, which does intrigue me.

Anyway, sorry for the tirade. I guess maybe I'm the drama queen tonight.

if you truly respected your collegue, you'd post pics.
bastard.

He said he was looking for input on whether or not he should worry about a co-worker's potentially questionable ethical decisions.

I don't disagree that people are painfully negative and it's perplexing and frustrating, but I really don't think that's how SNR was approaching things.

Itbwas never my attempt nor desire to stifle you in any way but to engage in conversation based on my thought process on the subject. Then when you went all icon I was surprised because that is not how I expected you to react because you had been in a situation yourself where you were going against societies expectation of you. I thought you might show empathy and understanding. Instead you showed me quite the opposite and you are more than welcome to that oppinion. My gay and tranny friends, I don't think, would have reacted in the same way as you did so I definitely misjudged your reaction.

At least to me, there seems to be very little to be concerned about if they are in love and getting married. Life is hard enough, married life doubly so, without the world shitting on you. I'm 2 ambient in and steadily plowing coherence so I'm done here.

I hope these twobqre happy with one another and do the fairy tale happy ever after ending. **** the naysayers. As long as she isn't his student anymore and they are both willing... More power to them.

You know how upsetting and intensely personal this subject is for you? Now imagine it's the most painful thing you've ever dealt with in your entire life, and then imagine that people brought it up all the time, completely at random, simply because they remembered that about you -- and that they frequently brought it up to try to score points when they disagreed with you. That is why my responses to you have been so clipped and annoyed.

Also?

Acting like people who face open bigotry on a regular basis have an obligation to act in a certain way as a result of having faced said bigotry is unbelievably absurd.